Wanted: 1 solution architect to fist bankers' asses

It's a cordial tip of the hat this morning to reader Simon Stahn, who has just been favoured with this employment opportunity by Jobserve: Jobserve banking job opportunity requiring the ability to "fist asses" Simon says he wasn't aware getting your hands dirty was a requirement in the banking sector, but then again ... ®

[semprance]

something assets?

I'm at a loss...

[Dave 64]

I think it's meant to read...

"...first assist..."

[Pete Wood]

@semprance

=> I'm at a loss...

"first assess", perhaps...?

[Anonymous Coward]

"first assess"

at a guess

[Anonymous Coward]

something assets?

It's meant to be "first assess".

[lansalot]

oooh..

Sounds like a nail-biting opportunity.... or maybe not...

[Mike Smith]

aaahh

More like a pillow-biting opportunity...

[Gilleain Torrance]

might not be a misprint

It could just be the usual macho talk used in the City - you know, like "C'mon Jones, we gotta fist some asses today or we're sunk!".

Seriously, I overheard a guy on his phone in a coffee shop once who actually said "...well, I don't want to get gang-raped on this one, you know?...". Because just 'raped' is too tame a metaphor for some people.

[Ian Stephenson]

probably "first assess"

but much funnier this way.

[Anonymous Coward]

Merchant Bankers

I'm guessing it should have read "First Assess", but the misprint is far funnier

[Anonymous Coward]

Spellchecker fail

"First assess".

[Sir Runcible Spoon]

Sir

Don't you mean a grammar fail? Fist is a valid spelling after all :)

[Anonymous Coward]

Sounds like a job for

a vet, not a banker.

[Bilgepipe]

What goes around comes around

Well the banks have done as much to the rest of us, it's about time they received some payback...

[jelly]

Gloves, camera, action

After the last screw over, with pleasure, no lube, show me where to sign up!

[Elmer Phud]

Far Too kind

What you need Is one of them gloves as worn by competitors in RollerBall.

[Anonymous Coward]

A niche bank perhaps?

Going for the "perv pound".

[U4eA]

New world order?

I, for one, welcome our banker ass fisting overlords etc etc..

Or perhaps I should just reach for my coat.

[g e]

About time too!

Perhaps this forms the first 'thrust' of the Wikileaks banking mega-leak?

Not long before wikileaks truth-rapes someone in banking, now

[Graham Marsden]

Brings a whole new meaning to...

... Take your job and shove it!!

[dssf]

Part of the song lyrics are:

"TAKE THIS JOB AND *shove it* - I AIN'T COMIN' HERE NO MORE"...

More all of diss story: make no assiduous ass sump shuns about on-the-job ass suss mints...

[Graham Bartlett]

Cue Julian Clary

As JC said: "I've just been fisting Norman Lamont. Talk about a red box..."

[Anonymous Coward]

But overall...

A surprising lack of spelling mistakes and other errors compared to the average recruiter output, although there's still a lot to pick over.

[LinkOfHyrule]

Fists, I mean thumbs up!

Someone got their job advert and their dating advert mixed-up didnt they! They'll be some random ad on some hook-up website asking for a well hung dominant solution architect - if he's not careful that terminology will spread and he's just invented some new sex slang!

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't believe it...

The site has been "corrected", but the spelling is incorrect.

"first asses"

It's almost as funny :D

[Anonymous Coward]

site updated - still wong

clicking on the link provided takes you to see that the ad now says 'first asses'.

I think it should have said 'assist'.

By the way, when i clicked on the link I found I was logged in as someone else, So I logged him or her out.

[Anonymous Coward]

Bloody shit!

I'll be buggered if I can remember the last time the happened.