back to article Couple crash into church, curse satnav

Two Britons landed themselves in a German hospital after they allegedly followed satnav instructions - and drove straight into a church. The unnamed couple were driving in freezing conditions from Austria to France on Friday when the car's satnav said, "turn right", The Times reports. The 76-year-old driver did as he was told …


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  1. Naughtyhorse

    doddery old fuckwit

    thats all

  2. maxillius


    They need to make the disclaimer text spoken every time it's plugged into a car. You know, where it says, "the driver is resposible for ensuring the road is safe to travel on. Garmin is not responsible for errors generated by unreported road works or inclement weather" or some such.

    Also, for people who obey the little devices blindly, give it up. You obviously have no need to drive if you don't know where you're going.

  3. Oli 1

    How stupid do you have to be?

    I know it looks like a beautiful 19th century church, but my twat nav says its a road. FULL STEAM AHEAD CAPTAIN!


    Fail of the tallest order!

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Re: How stupid do you have to be?

      Do satnav users believe their little electronic helpers to be just like rally navigators/co-drivers? When the voice says "Turn right!" do they imagine themselves immediately doing a powerslide around a bend on a gravel track, much to the delight of spectators who hop out of the way at the last minute?

  4. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    Not another one!

    Can we please introduce a system so that anyone claiming that they had an 'accident' due to following their satnav's instructions is automatically charged with driving without due care and attention - which they obviously were!

    1. Steve Foster

      @Not another one!

      *And* take away their licences until they've retaken the driving test.

      The last 6 words of that sentence may be taken as optional, if preferred.

  5. Keith 21

    I trust that...

    ...the idiotic driver has had his driving license permenantly revoked, on the grounds that he is clearly NOT competent enough to drive without posing a risk to himself and others.

    Blindyly following SatNav instructions without checking there is a road? Utter stupidity.

  6. toof4st

    He said...

    I was "religiously" following my SatNav...

    1. Elmer Phud

      It Wos God Wot Did It

      "claimed the confused man blamed the machine for the error"

      God made people - so god made satellites - so God made GPS - act of God trying to get more customers in to church.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Free Will

        You've obviously never hear of the religous concept of the free will of man.

        1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

          Ahh yes, that krazy katch-all

          Just in case one of "god's creations" does something bad.

  7. CockKnocker

    Oh dear

    Unfortunately there is a good chance that this couple have already managed to breed, owing to their age, thus helping create a new generation of total fu**ing idiots.

  8. Anonymous John


    Not an Act of God.

  9. fLaMePrOoF

    The probloem is not sat-nav, or even stupidity...

    The problem here is revealed in this one statement...

    "The 76-year-old driver"

    While our motor ways are full of BMW / Audi driving knob heads (it is possible to be one and not the other but if the cap fits...) our urban roads are full of completely incompetent elderly drivers who should no longer be allowed behind the wheel!

  10. Ventilator

    Prat Nav

    'Nuff said!

  11. Anonymous Coward

    I presume...

    ...the crumblies had only just switched on a SatNav for the first time in their lives a mere 5 seconds earlier!? When it says 'turn right', it means "at the next junction", not "as quickly as you can regardless of whether you have reached the junction or not".

    Isn't this why we issue free bus passes for pensioners? So that they can't go around driving into things willy-nilly?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    "A spokeswoman for the Bavarian police said the moral of the story was to not be a f*cking idiot."

    There, fixed it.

  13. Cameron Colley

    Nice excuse.

    Your honour, I took the turn as stated on the Sat Nav and the road was filled with school children -- I kept on going as instructed and killed 17 and 8 parents.

    I can actually understand going down a dirt road or similar and getting stuck when following a Sat Nav, since it could be a shortcut -- but not looking for hazards is a completely different thing.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    And it all started with a Big Bang

    To quote Dr. Sheldon L Cooper:

    "I won't say that all senior citizens who can't master technology should be publicly flogged, but if we made an example of one or two, it might give the others incentive to try harder"


  15. Mad Mike


    The problem with evolution is that random mutations will cause both good and bad traits. In some cases, it's difficult to know which camp it fits in. Survival of the fittest is the mechanism nature created to deal with this by removing the bad traits using a combination of methods, including killing idiots or at least maiming them to make them easy prey to other creatures. Unfortunately, in todays health and safety conscious world, we've implemented many methods and rules to remove natural selection, which results in the bad genes being allowed to multiply. We're actually dumbing down the human race here folks. People should never be prevented from killing themselves due to their own stupidity, as this is exactly what nature intended.

    It's incredible how on certain occasions, nature is held up as being the best way and nature is always right etc., but on other occasions (such as this), nature is held to be wrong and we must keep these morons alive!!

    1. Yag


      Probably and disturbingly the most accurate SciFi movie...

  16. JohnG

    Navigator smarter than driver?

    According to reports in Germany, the police said he went straight on when he should have made a turn. When combined with the driver's own statement, it appears that the navigator was correct but the driver failed to follow the navigator's directions.

    It is amazing that anyone could find a building to hit when driving between hamlets with about 20 buildings between them. I am also puzzled as to why they were bumbling around the icy back roads when there is a perfectly good autobahn nearby. I hope the cops checked for the presence of winter tyres - driving without them in Bavaria at this time of the year would be both foolhardy and illegal.

  17. Rogerborg

    I like to blame squirrels

    There's one called Charlie Orange who hides under the seats and tells me what to do. I have to obey him or he bites my ankles, Drinkstable.

  18. Matt Piechota

    Hey wait

    I thought only Americans were idiots, based on comments on other articles. Say it ain't so!

  19. ElNumbre

    Satnav on the Fritz?

    Hope the German police officer said "For you, ze driving is over".

  20. Steve X

    That's what you get

    when you blindly follow orders "from above"

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Every time somebody uses this excuse the police should check the sat nav. If it turns out the driver is telling the truth then they should be prosecuted for careless driving or similar. If it turns out they are lying (and I suspect they often are) then they should be prosecuted for attempting to pervert the course of justice or some such. That should discourage this sort of nonsense.

    Unfortunately the brand, software version and map versions are never mentioned in these stories so we can't check ourselves.

  22. Remy Redert

    re: Hey wait

    No, the Americans merely started the trend. Being good American lap dogs, the UK was not far behind.

    By now, it happens all over from time to time.

    The question is, is it the sudden appearance of more idiots, an abrupt increase in idiotism in people for no properly explained reason or the proliferation of GPS navigation devices that is the root cause of these incidents.

  23. William Boyle

    Not always reliable

    Remember, that the current GPS satellite constellation is owned/operated by the US Department of Defense and that they can degrade its accuracy/reliability at any time. In fact, they have announced such activities in the southeast USA in the near future (or now, don't remember exactly) so they can do some "testing", and have issued a warning to airlines and pilots that they should NOT trust their GPS data until the testing is finished... Caveat User!

  24. kain preacher

    @Remy Redert

    I think it's like the net. You know how the net allowed legions of idiots to find out there are others that think like they and they are no longer scared to say the stupid stuff they would of kept to them selfs. In the case of GPS it allows idiots to leave their houses. I believe before GPS these folks would of gotten lost and after an hour gave up. Besides I think this driver should have his mental status evaluated . How the hell could you possible think the GPS meant turn right now on to a non road and their is a building in front of you . This guy should not be allowed to walk with out another person next to him. Not his wife .

  25. Anonymous Coward

    Imbeciles behind the wheel

    I'm on a motorbike and I have to share the roads with these muppets. Seriously, what chance do I have?

  26. hplasm

    It can't be easy to ignore the sat-nav

    For those complete fuckwits that insist on mounting them *right* in the middle of their eyeline.

    First car mfg to fit armaments gets my vote.

  27. Queos lvl42 mage

    Lol Ain't nothing!

    New York and Arkansas are in the process of making it illegal to walk, run, or ride a bike txting or listening to music. Why? People walking into traffic, falling into water fountains(lol), those damn jumping attack walls, etc.


    For all they say about evolution vs. creationism, they will not let nature take it's course and let Darwin decide the issue. IMO if you get killed over something like that, you're too damn stupid to live anyway... Go Darwin!

  28. Pestilence

    Atheist Navigation

    If the navigation system is atheist, it would logically conclude that id there is no god, there is no church either. Had to be a road.

  29. Patrick R

    "I suddenly ran out of road"

    Can't beat that excuse? This week, in Belgium, someone was blaming his GPS that should have beeped when the car was overspeeding. He was at 120km/h instead of 50 or something like that.

    The best ever was the guy caught stealing a bait car and claiming "it wasn't me!" ... "I can explain!"

  30. Frank Bitterlich

    It's idiots like this one...

    ... that we have to thank for that stupid disclaimer I have to confirm every time I switch on my satnav. Thank you very much, sir!

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