Man charged in bizarre EXPLODING VIBRATOR plot

A Minnesota man has been cuffed on charges of "creating an explosive device and making terroristic threats" after allegedly rigging the worst Xmas present ever for an ex-girlfriend – an exploding vibrator. Terry Allen Lester. Pic: Waseca County According to the Criminal Complaint (PDF), Terry Allen Lester, 37, (pictured) was …

[Charles Calthrop]

dildon't believe hair like that still exists

blah blah blah it angle. Who cares when you can pull a gem of a story out of the bag like this. awesome hair awesome story

[Aaron Em]

It's called a 'mullet'...

...and it is alive and well in many areas of the United States, including my own hometown.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Aaron

Ever known anyone named Lester before? When I saw that guys pic and then his name... there's really no surprise about the rest of the story.

No offense to anyone, but that surname has a rep.

[Anonymous Coward]

@Ever known anyone named Lester before?

like, I don't know him, dude, but, y' know, the journalist who wrote the piece is totally named Lester. Does your characterisation of Lesters apply to him too?

[wayne 8]

His nickname is Moe

as in Minnesota Moe Lester

[Graham Bartlett]

@Aaron

The Black Mullet, indeed. And I'm sure I've seen him as Henchman #2 in some late-80s straight-to-video action film. Or does the US have a lot of folk who look like that?

On the mullet theme, my son (8 weeks) was born with a reasonable head of hair, and it's growing quite fast. Thing is, it's growing a lot faster at the back than the front, so in a few weeks I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a Mullet Baby. I thought this would be unusual, but Googling it, it seems there are plenty of them around, so add another to the rollcall. I love digital cameras - it'll be so much easier to distribute embarrassing photos when he's older!

[Anonymous Coward]

Gotta say it

Did the earth move for you?

[BongoJoe]

Shirley

Writing "Happy Xmas, Bitch" would mean that the recipient would be less likely to use the thing than if it were wrapped up as an anonymous romatic present?

Hand grenade - just because.

[Aaron Em]

Long on viciousness, short on brains

And don't call me Shirley.

[Sarah Bee]

Re: Shirley

A hand shandy grenade?

[Sarah Bee]

Re: Re: Shirley

Sex bomb.

Gland mine.

Improvised ecstatic device.

etc.

[genghis_uk]

Getting a bit excited there Sarah?

Must be a slow Friday...

[Mike Flugennock]

Re: Re: Re: Shirley

Well, damn. Looks like our Moderatrix is really "on" today.

[Graham Marsden]

@Sarah Bee

You're getting off on those puns, aren't you...? ;-)

[Sarah Bee]

Re: @Sarah Bee

They're just puns. It's what I do. I don't know what you do for fun around your place but I suspect it is icky.

[Graham Marsden]

@Sarah Bee

You should be able to figure out the answer to that question from previous posts I've made, but if not, ask Jane Fae :-)

(And it's only icky if someone consents to it being icky!)

[peter 45]

With apologies to Tom Jones

Sex bomb sex bomb you're a sex bomb

You can give it to me when I need to come along

Sex bomb sex bomb you're my sex bomb

And baby you can turn me on

You know what you're doing to me don't you, Ha, Ha, I know you do

Now Don't get me wrong ain't gonna do you no harm

This bomb's made for lovin' and you can shoot it far

I'm your main target come and help me ignite

Love struck holding you tight

Make me explode although you know the route to go

[Steven Hunter]

@BongoJoe

"less likely to use the thing than if it were wrapped up as an anonymous romatic present?"

Would *you* use a sex toy that was sent to you anonymously?

[Anonymous Coward]

Business at the front, party at the back

I must say, this mulleted would-be misogyhadist's wild vibratorly scheming is rather half-cocked.

[Ginolard]

Gotta say it II

Bet that's the last time a girl ever says "Blow me!" to him

[MnM]

Paris is wondering

if it would have touched the sides

[Anonymous Coward]

This post will probably be deleted. Heh heh

Brings new meaning to the phrase:

"I made her explode last night".

[hplasm]

The best bang

since the Big Bang.

That's mine with the two collars...

[BorkedAgain]

No, no, NO.

"The best bang since the big one." - Mine's the one with the wide collar and three sleeves. Thank you.

(not sure it's healthy to have known that by heart without having to look it up...)

That's a nasty piece of work there, though. And the fact that he managed to have three relationships (albeit ones that went very wrong) with that hair and that attitude... Well, says a lot. Not sure what, but it says a lot of it.

[Aaron Em]

What it says, I think...

...is that that part of Minnesota doesn't offer a hell of a lot of options.

[skeptical i]

@Aaron, re: options

The fact that mullet-man Lester could get vibrators would indicate that there ARE options ... even in the furthest reaches of Minnesota.

[lansalot]

mind you..

My mate Michelle wasn't phased..

- nothing like a good bang for christmas

- the orgasms just blew me away

- i was so turned on by my new vibe i could have exploded everywhere

Thumbs-up for her then...

[lansalot]

Love it..

This has so much potential for a tabloid-style pun-tastic headline.. I'm racking my brains, hope someone else is having more luck than me... :-(

[Elmer Phud]

title

Dumb Dude Done for Dodgy Dildo

[S Larti]

worst Xmas present ever?

Nah, I've had worse. A rigged vibrator you can at least throw away, presents from in-laws on the other hand...

[Loyal Commenter]

Mullet: Check

Dodgy Tache: Check

What's the betting this guy also drives a Chevy pick-up with a shotgun on the passenger seat and selection of cheap pornography in the glove-box?

[Aaron Em]

Anything else would be a sucker bet...

...except the pickup might be a Ford or maybe a Dodge, and the shotgun's probably on the gun rack in the back window of the cab -- the passenger seat is for unregistered handguns, which are much more wieldy in the confines of a truck cab than long arms. (Sure, you could saw off a shotgun instead, but a) then you couldn't hunt with it any more, and b) a sawed-off shotgun'll send you to jail longer, because even in West Bumfuck, Alabama, it's considered a "gang banger weapon".)

[Naughtyhorse]

cough splutter

west bumfuck... priceless

[Danny 6]

It's Alabama

That's east bumfuck. Idaho is west.

[Anonymous Coward]

cough splutter

West Bumfuck, which is due south of East Bumfuck. The guy who named them had the map turned 90 degrees when he was choosing names.

[Anonymous Coward]

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

It might be a Chevy, Ford, or even a Dodge, but it's a sure bet it's 20 years old, beat up and covered with rust, but has a practically new high performance engine under the hood.

Black helicopter because this guy is on every list in the country now.

[Lghost]

He faces 10 years inside if convicted,

Surely if convicted he faces more than just 10 years ?

in the land of consecutive 999 year sentences ~:o

[Disco-Legend-Zeke]

The Most Fiendish...

...bomb i ever saw looked like a paper coffee cup.

It was placed on top of the victom's car, and went off when he lifted it.

The whole thing was caught on tape in a casino parking garage.

MORAL: Always use valet.

[Anonymous Coward]

thats easy...

its just a grenade with a very fast timer.... cup holds trigger handle in place lifting the cup off the grenade allows the trigger to flip then boom.

[chairman_of_the_bored]

I can't resist it either...

If he had made more than one he could have had a gang bang?

[IglooDude]

A classic love story, really...

Boy meets girl, they fall in love, they fall out of love, they argue bitterly and break up, and boy plots to blow girl up with explosives-filled sex toy. Sure it's been overdone by Hollywood over the years, but in its purest form it still brings a tear to the eye just thinking about it.

[Anonymous Coward]

Brings a whole new meaning...

...to the phrase 'Dirty Bomb'

[ElNumbre]

Terroristic a real word?

Well, a Google search for terroristic has shown plenty of dictionary matches - I thought it was terrorist or terrorism. Or tourism if you've got a certain accent.

Black choppers because well, that Google search will have flagged up on some govt system.

[LaeMing]

Its

Terror-tastic!

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Terroristic a real word?

No, but dildotastic is.

Now you're going to have to google that to find out whether I've just made it up or not.

[Joe K]

Isn't that....

...Kenny "Fucking" Powers?

Sheesh, the shit he learnt down in Mexico.

[Anonymous Coward]

War crime?

I thought lab mines were against the Geneva convention

[Anonymous Coward]

As Basil Brush would say

Boom! Boom!

[Anonymous Coward]

Presumably

This dildo came with an enormous seven-segment LED display and beep-beep-beeped its way down to the suitably explosive climax.

[Jimbo 6]

"Lindner’s Liquor where Lester was a regular customer"

Colour me unsurprised.

[Stuart 18]

Booby trap now redundant: suitable synonym sought

A pint for the best alternative modern slang based on this case:-)

Any comments on nipple arousal suiting the original phrase not allowed. Ms Bee please moderate suitably.

Regards Stu

[fn0rd]

IED

Improvised Erogenous Device.

[Anonymous Coward]

Snuke

I think he watched too much South Park... He was trying to smuggle Snuke up her Snaz!

[Christoph]

Testing required

Gadgets like this should be tested before deployment - bend over please, sir. Welcome to your new "Edward the Second".

[Simon 26]

Let's see...

if he likes it up him.

[Blubster]

May as well join in

with the `quips`.

New design dildos - more bang for your buck.

[MinionZero]

Amazing how far some would go

@It contained "gunpowder, BB shot and buck shot"

Its a wonder he wasn't charged with attempted murder. Its basically a stick of explosive. (I saw a case on TV some time ago like this where a guy put a similar sort of sized thing placed under the driver seat of his wife's car and it did nearly kill her and that was through a thick seat. This case could have been an internal blast which would have been horrific).

Shame Minnesota doesn't have the death penalty, as I'm sure his ex-girlfriend could make very effective use of this vibrator on him ... "Houston, we have lift off!" ... Its a fitting end for the guy. Just one thing, before using it, she could even shout "fire in the hold!". :)

[Kubla Cant]

Understatement

<quote>the two remaining occupants discovered "items that made them uncomfortable"</quote>

I should have thought an exploding dildo would tend to do that, though I lack the anatomy to be sure. Does this mean they tried it out before they called the cops?

[lansalot]

OK

So it took me a while...

Mock-cock ticky-tock bomb-clock shock ?

I'll get my coat.. :-(

[Anonymous Coward]

She Bangs...

with apologies to Ricky Martin...

----

And she bangs, she bangs

Oh baby

When she moves, she moves

I go crazy

'Cause she looks like a flower but she stings

like a bee

Like every girl in history

She bangs, she bangs

---

[Anonymous Coward]

Surprised none of the women said

that he was giving them a bad vibe

[Hollerith 1]

What they said was...

...he's a goddamn murdering bastard, caught thanks to us.

[asiaseen]

Just

banging the girlfriend

[Anonymous Coward]

Batteries not included.

It's a good thing they didn't receive those presents: could have smashed all their teeth.

"...with whom he'd been sharing a Waseca apartment."

Are you sure it wasn't a trailer?

[E 2]

Should be an attempted murder charge

What the title says.

[Robert Carnegie]

Ugh

This is appalling if true, appalling. Why didn't he just shoot her, that's what most American men do in his situation.

[Allan George Dyer]

"terroristic threats"

terrifying threats?

The prosecutor should be charged with assault on the English language.

[Trainee grumpy old ****]

Have I got this right?

Only 10 years for a most ghastly premeditated murder but life for armed robbery netting 11 dollars?

[Martin Maloney]

Toys for Twats?

Q: How do you make pickle bread?

A: You start with some dill dough...

[kain preacher]

Feds

The Feds still can come in and charge him.