back to article Gifts for the Geeks

Christmas time is here and we all know what that means: family feuds, nativity plays, decorative trees and brussel sprouts. Such are the joys of commercialised religion. But while you worry about where the gift money will come from, there's no need to worry about what you're gonna get. We've put together a selection of what's …


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  1. gribbler

    good timing

    Some great ideas here, shame it's too late to buy any of them before Xmas now...

  2. jake Silver badge

    Here I thought I was a geek/nerd ...

    It would seem the demographic has moved more than a trifle.

    I, me, personally, have no need for, do not want, and see absolutely zero use for any of the afore-mentioned "let's rip off the consumer" goods ... I guess I'm a fuddy-duddy now. I can live with that :-)

    1. Annihilator Silver badge


      "I, me, personally, have no need for, do not want, and see absolutely zero use for any of the afore-mentioned "let's rip off the consumer" goods"

      See, you're halfway a geek - it's thinking all that, yet buying one anyway that makes you a geek :-)

  3. Anonymous Coward

    Naughty, naughty!

    "unlike the woman in your life, does the cleaning without a single whinge."

    Come on? I know it's joke but most blokes these days don't live in the stone-age, we do muck-in with the chores when we're forc...sorry, asked to nicely by the old drag...oops, love of our lives!

    1. Lionel Baden


      Speak for ya self !!!

  4. Insane Reindeer
    Thumb Down


    Anything on that list other than number 10 turn up in any of my presents this year, or any year, and the local charity shops would be having a quick visit from me just as soon as they are open again.

    No, I never return, or sell on, unwanted Christmas presents.

    No idea what that says about me though.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "So brush your cleanliness worries aside and pick up a new companion for Henry."

    For £400 you could literally pay someone to give Henry a blowjob.

  6. David Hicks

    I'm sorry but ... a USB endoscope?

    Holy moley.... why?

    Also zero points for guessing what this will be used for in reality.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Only if you have a laptop, and it is small enough.

      I instantly though car maintenance.

      Would have saved lifting a head when I had a passenger back inlet cam sproket jump last year to check valves, all 6 were fine.

      Moral is alway use new stretch bolts.

      Boffin pic. because fitting cam timing belts is at that level!

      1. Annihilator Silver badge
        Thumb Up


        An electromagnet on a toggle switch at the end of the endoscope would be equally ingenius :-)

      2. Shaun 1

        RE: passenger back inlet cam sproket jump


      3. jake Silver badge

        English to Wrench translation ...

        "I instantly though car maintenance."

        Eh? Let's break this down ...

        "Would have saved lifting a head"

        Pulling a cylinder head ...

        "when I had a passenger"

        Non-driver's side (not a bike, then ...) ...


        Towards the rear of the frame ... Not a transverse engine.

        "inlet cam sproket"

        Intake valve's cam gear's chain/belt ...


        Belt, then ...

        "last year to check valves"

        You looked at 'em? With a fucking low-end TV camera? Me, I usually get all measury & shit ... There is a reason that feeler gauges and degree wheels were invented, you know ...

        "all 6"

        Six passenger-side intake valves? So either a V-12 or a V-6 with dual intake valves per cylinder, then? With a timing belt, not a chain? Some things make you want to go "hmmmmm".

        "were fine."

        Possibly true, even though your timing belt had stretched enough to jump a tooth ... but surely you had an inkling that you had to do some serious mechanical work on your engine, thanks to the sudden performance hit? No wrench I know would need a video camera to diagnose this kind of failure ...

        "Moral is alway use new stretch bolts."

        Not certain where the stretch of a bolt comes in in this kind of scenario ... Torque, yes, but stretch? In valve gear? Maybe you have some kind of prototype desmodromic system that I've never worked on ...

        "Boffin pic. because fitting cam timing belts is at that level!"

        Ah. I see. You are not a wrench. I'd insert a "fail pic", but icons are for AOLers ...

        1. MJI Silver badge

          aghh not clear so stretch bolts on the cam shaft pulley

          It only jumped 180 degrees as well

          Passenger BANK BTW aghhhh

          Yes a V6

          Yes proper wheel drive

          Yes I had to remove heads originally to replace oil seals all 24 of the little pests.

          And stretch bolts are used on the pulleys to cams

          1. jake Silver badge

            @MJI ...

            180 degrees?

            Stop. Do not pass go, do not collect 200quid/bucks, just stop. You are embarrassing yourself.

    2. Tigra 07 Silver badge

      RE: David Hicks

      I'm guessing you sellotape it to the hoover pipe for added usefulness in dark corners?

      That or get the hubby to bend over and make some kinda game of it?

  7. Frosty840

    Great timing

    Yup, December 22nd is the perfect time to be posting articles on christmas gifts, most of which are available only online, or which will be sold out in stores, in the middle of the worst post-affecting weather I can remember. Classy timing, here. Very clever.

  8. MJI Silver badge


    What diameter is it?

    Could be great for peering into car engines

  9. Shaun 1

    A bit late

    Surely this sort of thing should have been posted at least a week ago, rather than 3 days before christmas.

    Posting it now means having to buy this stuff from PC world or the like!

    1. Tony Smith, Editor, Reg Hardware (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: A bit late

      It's never too late.

      1. Shaun 1

        RE: It's never too late.

        It is if you want to order a Kindle from Amazon

        Pic because I have images from the site disabled and I've no idea which I've clicked

  10. neb
    Thumb Up

    you had me at...

    ...USB Home Endoscope

  11. Evil Auditor Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Re endoscope

    I'd rather ...explore the boss' colon, much to her dismay... (SCNR)

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I agree with those who say it's a bit late for this, but disagree with the amount. Ten years ago, a geek guide for shopping posted with three days to go would have been perfect, because most geeks I know wouldn't have started shopping yet. Unfortunately, as we run out of noughties, it's more likely that we'll all have shopped on-line and actually be done on time. Although I guess this might come in handy for those who are frantically getting replacement presents for those that have got stuck in the post.

    Care to update the guide with how much cheaper they're likely to get in the sales? (There are such a thing as new year's parties, so I concede it still has its uses.) I'd be quite tempted by the wand remote (seen one, it's quite, er, swish) if the price halved.

  13. Lottie


    I'm sure that could be used for something cool. DIY goatse during videochats for example.

    I quite like the look of that watch as well... but I'm thinking one of those fancy wrist displays for my Androud phone would be a better option.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    "The iRobot Roomba 581 is a sweeper that unlike the woman in your life, does the cleaning without a single whinge. Just a few whirrs and kerplunks."

    Lazy writing, not to mention sexist. Man up!

  15. Cunningly Linguistic

    Bring back...

    ...the Innovations catalogue I say!

    1. BorkedAgain

      I quite agree.

      Every one of these ten items, with a watch hot-glued to the front. Including the watch.

  16. Anonymous Coward

    I'm wearing the "They Live" shades, so clearly see the rubbish and rip-offs here.

    1. Lock-in sux for me, as do absurdly high ebook prices, and the screen is still too small (where is the Kindle DX?), so is no good for computer reference books, so I'll pass and get a more versatile 10" Android tablet instead, when the damned things are in stock, grrr!

    2. LOL, got a pretty good rechargeable one for £40 at Aldi, several months ago, it takes SD cards and make this look very poor value.

    3. Embarrassing T-shirts are for sad attention seekers, rather like those stupid LED watches.

    4. Bought a Roomba years ago, they didn't clean nearly as well as a Dyson upright, had a tiny dirt bin, and quickly wear our and break; the design hasn't changed much since, so this model looks terrible value at £400!

    5. Embarrassing, Harry Potter wannabe tat.

    6. Looks cool, but far too expensive, and the geek-hostile 'iPhone' dependency kills it for me.

    7. Why irradiate your wrist, or put up with probably pathetic battery life and signal strength.

    8. Doesn't interest me, I'll leave this for budding astronomers, the paperback book "Anathem" seems far more interesting.

    9. Bought better from Firebox.

    10. I've already owned/used a Champion Swiss Army knife, for many years, and a Lidl multi-tool; this looks plain overpriced, in comparison.

    There's more geek fun with stuff like Android devices, and other hackable stuff, stuff you can't mod is so boring!

    Some of the best gadgets I bought are an i7 12GB PC, a 24" BenQ LED Monitor, an Exposure Strada Mk2 (UK) bicycle light, and Shimano XTR M970 bicycle brakes; that is value, and bought while buying more appreciating PMs, rather than wasting £1000's on rapidly depreciating black-box consumer tat.

    I'll get my shiny suit and winged hat now.

  17. Aussie Brusader
    Thumb Up

    One site for all

    That is all.


    1. Simon Ward
      Thumb Down

      Re: One site for all

      ThinkGeek sell some interesting stuff, but boy will you get mauled on import duty and VAT if you're outside the US - I learnt this one the hard way.

      Quite why they never set up a UK/European tentacle is quite beyond me - they'd have made a (caffeinated) mint.

  18. Glyn 2


    Being an fan of sharp shiny objects I don't know why anyone buys victorianox/swiss army/leatherman offerings

    They're not very good and the alternative and cheaper options I've had a far superior.

    Got a leatherman type tool from Lidl that was strong, the blades were actually sharp and hold an edge nicely and the plier...prongs....whatever they're called, the grippy bits :) don't twist.

    Bought several knives from poundland (other pound a purchase shops are available) that surpasses any of the expensive ones I've ever used and as they cost a pound it matters little that i lose them :)

  19. Lionel Baden

    Please Please add this

    I got one for Christmas and it is Awesome !!!!!

    You can even feed the kids with it :D

    I am also thinking upgrades with a set of relays and starter motors :D

    software needs some work though :(

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