It could only end
in tears
Hadn't used the halon in a while, had he.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the workplace, Not a creature was stirring, not even a cobbled-together robot, fashioned from the remaining pieces of several other cobbled-together robots. Dressed in an elf suit. Two stockings are hung by the Boss' door with care, In the hopes that a bonus cheque soon …
So unless they've changed the actual story text, it's some outside influence tampering with El Reg as it gets sent to your computer (or as it's displayed)!
Fuck-All won't be censored for the same reason that Scunthorpe isn't censored; it's part of a word. Fuck would be, though (that was typed uncensored).
I know the economy is tight, but axing your staff at Christmas is nothing short of sheer horror!
Can I borrow "Santa Elf"? There's a data center in Denver that could use a little of that Christmas cheer after us telecommuters found out we're being cut back to 18 hours a week because we overhired and don't want to lay off too many staff just in case our work production comes back.
We wish you a Christmassacre
We wish you a Christmassacre
We wish you a Christmassacre
And a chainsaw-chewed ear
Glad tasers we bring
And grenades without pins
We wish you a Christmassacre
And a chainsaw-chewed ear
Now bring us all your bosses
Now bring us all your bosses
And bring them out here
For we hate the boss's guts
For we hate the boss's guts
For we hate the boss's guts
So bring them out here
And we won't go until we've got some
And we won't go until we've got some
And we won't go until we've got some
So bring them out here
For we all *NNEEEEOOOOWW*
For we all *NNEEEEOOOOWW*
For we all *NNEEEEOOOOWW*
With a chainsaw out here
Glad choppings we bring
And beancounter suff'ring
We wish you a Christmassaaaaacrrrrre....
And a chainsaw-chewed ear
(The beer icon, why else? ;)
... But surely the BOFH will find an "alternate" supplier of Halon from a supplier operating out of a warehouse in a former Soviet Bloc country that has a stash of Halon. Cost-cutting measures, you see.
Bonus if one tank is "accidentally" filled with nerve gas instead of Halon due to a mix up on the order paperwork.
I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything else someone would have owed me a laptop..
Top class Just when they think they have him beaten...
Nailed Top class. The Halon and the robot are nice touches and since when has the BOFH ever followed EU rules.... That will be recharged ;) maybe not with HALON though but a close proxy to it maybe some nerve gas / CO2 mix.. either way the tape safe is no longer a safe hiding place ;).
They'd swapped the halon release and hold off buttons over hadn't they? Ah well, fun all the same.
Alternative trick: swapping halon release and hold off buttons, setting off the halon stand off warning and getting them to hit the halon release themselves... then swapping the buttons back over. Extra marks if you can find a way to get their fingerprints on the release button and not the hold off.
Genious! [sic] certainly doesn't describe this post.
It's not 'guilded the lily' but 'gilded the lily' as in adding gold gilt to something that was already beautiful. You're misusing the phrase, as it's used to describe an unnecessary or superfluous addition to something that is already complete.
The coward is right that 'peizo' should be 'piezo' but additionally piezo is a prefix meaning pressure which shouldn't be used on its own. So Simon should have written piezofanfare or piezo-fanfare.
Twas the dead-line before christmas and Simon, in his nads,
knew his nerdy readers needed lots of BoFH glads.
So sticking to the rules of rhyme and some of those of reason,
he's shown us how a sysadmin can celebrate the season.
A little bit of burning fan, a little bit of sting,
a little bit of halon gas and robotry's the thing
To guarantee transmission of ill-gottens undetected.
Take note of the scenario that Simon has projected.
a messy christmas to all at ElReg with special sauce for S. Travaglia !
125 CC, that's a mother of a chainsaw !
My no brand with a 20" bar only has 35 CC engine and it cuts well though the best hardwood in Oz. Now if only a skilled BOFH could apply one like it to the finest high level deadwood in corporation land...
Simon, well done.
To El Reg and staff Merry Xmas.