Secret: (The developer was probably paid off)
"Apple...has managed to keep jailbroken iPhones, and thus software piracy, to a minimum"
I may not be the "best" example, but when shops offer to jailbreak your iPhone for you, just so you'll sign up for their network instead, and when 70% of the people I know that use an iPhone are jailbroken...I just don't see this "minimum" bit....perhaps 90% of the people just use the iPhone as-is because they don't care to do anything more than just have the iPhone. (yes yes, warranties, plan-switching, etc hassle...)
"and by ensuring the legitimate app store is suitably stocked with the applications people want"
Like fart apps and banning porn. Last I checked, most blokes would prefer a porn app to a fart app. Or perhaps an app for their favorite local radio station? There's no app for that....
On a non-troll note, the ChevronWP7 developer was probably just paid off by MS until they can find a better way to not lose $99 per developer contract.