'walking on public roadways while intoxicated' - this a real office? Bloody hell we're all screwed!
An Illinois woman allegedly launched an ill-considered assault on a cop with a “rigid female pleasure device” after an altercation over an unpaid Crab Shack bill. Carole Bildsten, a 56-year-old from the Chicago suburb of Gurnee, was accused of leaving an unpaid bill for dinner and wine at Joe's Crab Shack in the town earlier …
"clear, rigid feminine pleasure device"
I didn't know they came in clear. I am clearly behind the times. Here silly me I presumed they were all flourescent pink or something. Shall immediately proceed to the appropriate local business establishment for Remedial Sex-Toys 101 class to remedy this situation.
It's perfectly possible to conceive of a device, member or extremity which is intrinsically or under certain circumstances rigid, but flexibly attached to a handle, body, arm or control device, which makes it act in a wobblesome manner, particularly when waved.
Paris. Do I need to draw pictures?
..........a very old headline from a (I believe) Hollywood newspaper from many decades ago?
"Hix pix nix in stix".
Which apparently meant that films set in rural America did not go down very well amongst audiences in rural America. Other than that I can only say that if that is the worst that the officer faces in the course of his career, he is clearly on a winner.
Hmm... This leaves me pondering the possibilities for weaponization of such things. We've already seen the helicockter, of course ( http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/20/cock_copter_shocker/ ). But this makes me want to build something along the lines of a Nerf missile launcher. Or perhaps one of those compressed air guns they use to launch t-shirts and such at sporting events...
Any other ideas?
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