
If only he'd been attacked by one of them vampire robbing gangs
he would have got away without injury, on account of his lightning-quick bling-flinging reflexes
The British rap star DJ Ironik was in hospital last night after being stabbed in the left buttock by robbers who had tracked him by Twitter. DJ Ironik was mugged outside his home in North London at 3am Saturday as he returned from a gig in Southend. He was with his manager but, outnumbered, threw a diamond cross and jewellery …
So, if he advertised his gig in The Times it'd be the paper's fault? Or was he walking down the High St tweeting 'I is on da High Street'. What nob-cockery. Verging on Darwinian to be fair.
Still, least he now down wid the homies in da hood. He jus' needin' ta be shot now, bro, to be fully made up. Styli. Innit.
Word.
"The fact that he made it out of Southend alive on a Saturday night, a small matter like a mugging with violence must have been a walk in the park!"
[1] he was attacked on his own doorstep in North London
[2] had he been attacked in Southend, he would likely not have survived; impersonating a musician is very poorly tolerated in these parts