Airport screeners go for the groin US airline security staff have introduced a new pat-down technique that might be familiar to folks who request "extras" in a massage parlour. Punters — i.e., passengers and civil liberties groups — are far from ecstatic over these new moves, variously describing them as "horribly invasive" and "humiliating". Passengers who …
Then the solution is obvious. Opt for the pat down every time. And pretend like you enjoy it a little more than you should. Keep asking them to "now touch my crotch please". Don't give them the satisfaction of feeling dominant.
OR, don't travel to a country that actually pays people to molest you? Just a thought.
If you read the article a bit more carefully, you'll see that this is about people traveling inside the US -- so for instance from Chicago to Los Angeles, etc.
This has nothing to do with 'travel to a country blablabla'.
Most of the outrage is coming from US citizens, traveling inside the US. In the United States, this approach has become the standard -- go through a machine, or get patted down thoroughly by a human.
Although I'm a frequent flyer, i've gone through the full body scanner maybe two or three times in the last year. The other times is just the plain old metal detector.
Just make sure you don't hit the metal detector when you go through it, or it'll throw a hissy-fit (accompanied by much groaning from the biz travelers behind you).
I'm suspecting that only outside of the rush hour these machines are operational. When the business man / woman / individual needs to go through security in a hurry (monday mornings, thursday evenings anyone) at least at the airports I travel through don't have the full body scanners working.
And rebooting these new-fangled things is apparently a pain -- not a quick shutdown, it takes at least 10 mins, last time I saw it happen.
Past experiences have shown that nearly every major terrorist attack is carried out outside of rush hour times because this maximises the possibility of getting caught.
If these checks aren't in place in rush hour, you might as well just start packing everybody's arseholes with explosives now, since you haven't got a hope in hell of stopping a terrorist.
... the way to screw the whole system is to "hit" the metal detector? And then when they've got it up and running again, have someone else hit it? Hmmmmm - can we have more details as to what "hit" means in this context? Are we talking merely brushing against the sides, or something a bit more forceful?
The only reason that the Home Office does not plan to get more intimate with passengers is that they simply do not allow you to opt out from the Nude-O-Scope. If they want naked pictures of you, they will see you naked, simple as that. Sorry, no way out for you. Let the bidding start for the "security" pictures of your sons and daughters.
I had the full, hands on, "do you dress to the left sir", pat down at Heathrow, T5, a fortnight ago. Seems I bleeped going through the electronic arch. That got me a real going over with a wand, then the pat downm and THEN the nude-o-scan.
When I asked if the scan was optional as I had already had my privacy invaded once, I was told "Yes, as in its optional that you fly.".
All of this for a short haul flight to Germany. Or maybe they had "intelligence" that an overweight business man, aged 50, with white hair going to Hamburg was a credible threat. Well, by the time the security wombles had decided that neight I nor my privates were a bomb, I really was ready to explode.
Country has gone stark raving mad.
Paris, because if she had been doing the pat down, I just might have exploded.
This is where the lawsuits come in.. Personally, I would definitely considering a shorter version of the "When Harry met Sally" restaurant scene - just to see the guy go red.
You're forgetting that the volume of people going through these checks quickly allows for trends to be discovered. If there's a bit too much feeling around you will be very quickly get to a situation where the volume of evidence will nullify any attempt at discrediting it by blaming it on a disgruntled traveller.
You should never underestimate the power of volume - and neither should the TSA.
Given that female travellers will presumably only be groped by female security staff, and male travellers only by male security staff (unfortunately), we can expect the TSA will be employing a special unit of work-experience schoolchildren of various ages.
I am sure they will bring at least an equal amount of dedication, professionalism, and competence to their work as existing TSA staff do.
This pantomime will soon have an end put to it when the first few lawsuits kick off, as they surely must. Hopefully quite a few people, including politicians, will soon end up getting handed a very large unexpected bill.
Modern life is utterly beyond satire. Even Chris Morris's febrile imagination could not have come up with this sort of shit even just a few years back.
So, are all men created equal like it says, or are some more equal than others? I guess if your experience has been the later, there's no doubt it's time to tear those crusty old documents up and write some new ones for the 21st century. Ones that give authority to treat people this way.
By the way, Wwhat passenger age do you start touching crotches and chest areas? 18? 16?... 14 maybe? 12?! What happens if a 14 year old boy gets aroused by this in plain sight of his parents and other people, and is left utterly humiliated? Can he sue or will that be taken care of in the Constitution 2K10™?
Still... at least local women don't have to wear a head scarf, so it's all in a good cause at the end of the day.
I don't suppose anyone cares enough to make this an issue in the mid-terms?
The main airport I use (in USA) only received bomb scanners 2 years ago...
Since we (me and fam) are "International" Travellers starting at a small crappy airport we trigger the "security team" every time we go...
Escorted to gate, 100ml drinks for us are forbidden.. while some fatass is drinking his 880ml superduper gulp cola he got from the gas station before he arrived at the airport looks at us and wonders if we are gonna blow up his plane.
What's worse is that they dump (literally) our bags out every year, swab them all, and then shovel the gear back in.. They sit on top of the baggage to get it re-sealed... I ask them every year (can you perhaps unpack it neatly and put it all back in correclty only to be met with the responce of a TSA advisory card that says for my safety they accept no responsibilty in screwing up my luggage, it's contents, delays in contents, or for giving the general population of that airport the view that I am a terrorist..
I think the airport has something like 10 carrier flights a day, and there's at least 18 TSA staff on duty at any given time.......
Since they have no body scanners, I can see that we'll be in line for feel-ups for the next 30 years.
... those people are likely to start showing signs of anxiety whilst in the line, so the profilers are going to take them to one side for "intensive screening". Bad on a personal level for those affected, and bad for security - lots and lots of false negatives!
These f****rs just don't think things through.
Perhaps one of the survivors will then have the courage to hire hotshot lawyer to sue the arses of the government and put an end to this pathetic state of affairs.
I love all this shite. "We will not bow down to terrorists! We will no cow-tow! They will not win!"
Sorry, but by the state of the world I see today, they buggers have already won. They didn't even have to do very much, except put the willies up a load of easily frightened and paranoid politicians and security nuts.
Face it, the terrorists have won, we stand by and watch the last vestiges of our liberty drift into the wind like so much smoke.
Next step is underpants bombs on younglings. Once the "Land of satan" has heard of this they will have to be more thorough on the younglings. This will bring us much gold through our pet laywers and the "land of satan" will have rightly have jihad brought to it by the "Protect the Children brigade"
and we will have their gold mwhahahahaa!!!
What? Their preists allready feel up the younglings?!?
No Gold!!!! The Chinese own it all???
Well fsck that! What a waste of a good plan!
Getting felt up by the TSA has nothing to do with the recent printer cartridge bombs. That was something that has been in the works since before last Christmas' attempted underwear bomber. Only now it is actually being rolled out where you have to go through the machines or submit to an intimate pat-down.
The toner cartridge bomb has now supposedly caused a cessation of toner cartridge shipments via air freight in the U.S. (I think I saw a news story on that yesterday looking at CNN.com or something like that ). So I guess if your printer runs out of toner you will not be able to overnight in a new cartridge.
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I assumed this was standard practice - I had it done back in March this year at Barcelona (BCN) - metal detector went off, so I got a full rub-down by a bloke who didn't appear to like his job.
Ironically, he didn't find the thing which set off the metal detector, which was a 1cent coin lodged in the corner of my pocket, which I didn't find for another 2 weeks!
I would really like to invest in some US long distance rail companies right now.
There will come a point where all the short to medium distance travel is just less hassel and cheaper than flying and aircraft will just be used for the really long distance time sensitive travel like the coast to coast runs.
i can't speak for the rest of you, but i'm not exactly going to do photo shoots for vogue.
imagine how the staff feel when they have to deal with a load of travelers:-
1. going to/from a generic game/film/tv show geek convention
2. Saga coach tour load of old folks. (ooooh young man!)
3. hen parties / stag dos..
4. ... various highly vocal religious groups...?
while there is the usual think of the children. i can't think the staff would be too up for it either. i can imagine the CV. Heathrow 'Sweaty Ball' Bag Handler. Staff attrition is going to be interesting.
i dunno. appologies for the above mind dump. just trying to see it from all sides...
i think i'll take the car. when is that atlantic bridge going to be ready?
There is a third option.
DON'T FLY!
Everyone knows you need to pass through security before you get on the plane, and you have the option of other methods of transport.
100(ish) years ago, NOBODY flew. Trains were the order of the day, or horse drawn carriages. People travelled where they could afford the time and money. Nobody is forcing you to go through security - you can get on a Greyhound or Amtrak (or local equivalent) without any security checks (and risk another 7/7).
I do think the current security controls are excessive, however in order to get re-elected politicians need to appear to be doing something, and controlling the possibility of blowing up planes is somehow seen to be key. Perhaps the alternative is to be issued with a skin tight rubber suit before flying, then everyone can see you aren't concealing anything.
Don't Fly is the answer but not for the reasons you give. It will put pressure on those implementing these scams to stop doing it.
However taking away the wonderful things the 20th century provided us may well be a major part of the evil plan.
1. Restrict air travel
2. Get everybody complaint with security protocols
Obviously not many people are actually worried that they really will be blown up by an ink cartridge but everyone wants to seem sensible and responsible so they can understand why it's taken seriously.
Why are they doing it? Because they believe in technology --not the first time they've pushed for that, it's why their HUMINT in the middle east was all but nonexistent back when-- and because they don't believe they'll get away with just stopping with the pat-downs and force everyone to go through a perv scanner. Obvious, no?
Oh, and perhaps because they think cranking up the humiliating is fun, too. TSA goons are that sort of people. Apparently they think they'll get away with it. Then again, if every single traveler says "no" to both and whole aeroplanes end up flying empty or not at all because no passenger was allowed through security, then at some point even the dimmest dimwits must realise that the theatre has gone too far.
For me, I'm hoping for a swift end of the TSA in its entirety, and the fancy machinery to go with it, but that's probably too much to ask for at this point in time.
If we were all to do that then it would work. However we are sheep and sensibly don't stray far from the flock. The flock can see when one or two of the sheep are being a bit risky and so won't join in. However if the scanner were to fry someone right in front of everyones eyes....
We like to believe that if we do everything we're told we'll be perfectly safe. That's why the whole security circus is so popular. And to keep that industry going it behooves the flock to be kept scared. It's just us techies that immediately spot the fallacies and do the teeny bit of math required to show the silver bullets cannot possibly ever work.
And even if you stunningly visually *show* them what's what, their eyes'll glaze over and they'll vote for the nearest politician who promises to do something dramatic and gratuitous. Or for whoever their great-grandfather voted for, depending on temperament. We lack that mythical "better educated voter" the USoAian founding fathers held out for. But we can create them.
We do have our very own secret weapon: Information and the means to disseminate it. That alone is not going to be enough. All that you get from various social and communication networks is "weak ties" where you need "strong ties" to find the moral support to affect serious change.* But once we realise that just the weak ties aren't enough, you can start to milk them for all they're worth to pass the word around and get communities to team up and start forming those strong ties. It'll take longer, it'll be lots of work, but it can be done.
Thus, the beer: I give you the mythical "better educated voter".
* http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/10/04/101004fa_fact_gladwell?printable=true
This has passed psychopathy, since they increased the security after 9/11 they caught maybe 2 people trying to do the same thing, and billions had to have their balls tugged by a guy with a gun.
Last time I flew from Berlin, everybody had their genitals petted. He accidentally grabbed one of my balls I got angry and protested and got a naked search
And for the record I am white and served as soldier and worked as cop.
I'm going to rub my mighty manbeard and growl "I identify myself as a female lady, so get that hot piece of ass over there to feel me up. Also, I'm a lesbian, so my woman-cock will probably swell up."
Alternatively, I'll just tut and get in line for the perv scanners like absolutely everyone else, including all the keyboard warriors here.
Next time, I'll make sure I pick the line with the cutest male attendant, and opt for the full grope-search.
If they think that's gonna embarass me, then they are in for a shock - I will enjoy every second of being felt up by a cutie AND I'll make sure they know it too.
THEN we'll see who feels the more humiliated - the gay getting felt up by a cutie, of the TSA drone having to molest a gay guy.
Might as well get SOME enjoyment out of being screwed by the authorities and their bogus WarrenTerror.
In case anyone is misled into believing that passengers are only patted down if they refuse to go through the body scanner, that is not the case.
Travelling last week, I went through three airports - Dallas, Houston and Washington - where body scanners either did not exist or were not turned on. In each airport I was given the "feel-up pat-down' when I set off the metal detector (I have a hip implant).
I thought it was a nice, friendly thing to do.
As has previously been mentioned, the only way to put an end to this is to vote with our feet. Don't fly. This is a no-lose scenario; either
When the airlines will put political pressure on the government because they are faced with insolvency, then either
a) Security checks will be changed,
or
b) The airlines go out of business.
In scenario a) we win, in scenario b) the climate wins.
Is it really that much of an inconvenience? You don't even have to stop flying completely, just ask yourself if that journey is really necessary. For business meetings, even a comparatively expensive telepresence setup (Think 'holodeck with Cisco branding') can pay for itself within a year, and that's just on travel costs. Factor in carbon footprint, travel time as lost working hours, and video-conferencing as a replacement for many long-distance business flights becomes a real alternative.
On the private side, think about having a "staycation"; holiday in your own country or state rather than travelling abroad.
This slow escalation of humiliation will continue until pressure is put in the right place; on the wallets of businesses, and the ballot papers of politicians, not the groins of the public.
Like I said, you don't have to stop flying completely. Obviously if your job requires you to fly - for example, you are an airline pilot, crop duster, RAF helicopter rescue crew or superhero (the last two are practically the same) - then yes, that could be seen as a career-limiting move. For many other careers, promoting the use of remote conferencing as the green, cheaper option - where this is practical - can still have a big effect.
Pie (not) in the sky? Not with a little forethought and pragmatism, it isn't.
So they are attempting to get people to walk through the radiation machines (which don't work) by threatening them with what most people would consider sexual assault, and getting them to 'consent' to the sexual assault by saying they won't be allowed to fly if they don't.
I prefer not to fly.
...at least according to our resident conspiracy theorist in the canteen today:
We have become addicted to flying.
With Peak Oil looming / already passed, how do we discourage people from flying?
More and more inconvenient/degrading security theatre.
Probably easier to raise the ticket price, though. And tax airline fuel.
Does anyone remember the studies that show the terahertz waves can tear apart your DNA?
(e.g. http://medgadget.com/archives/2010/01/study_looks_into_potential_side_effects_of_terahertz_full_body_scanner_technology.html)
"Opps, sorry about that. Have a nice flight."
It's easy for the TSA to put you through the machine, they aren't the ones getting nuked!
Remember Shoe-fitting fluoroscopes? There people who got their feet xrayed once a year did not suffer nearly as much radiation as the person who operated the machine day in and day out.
It could be that those biggest hit with the radiation are those who get prolonged exposure, even if they're not in the direct beam, being the TSA goons themselves.
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