back to article Seagate squirts out rectal cleaning spray

If you go down to the Amazon woods today you can be sure of a big surprise: Seagate seems to have taken an unexpected product direction. The product contains borax, helonius, kreosotum and platina  and gets rid of certain kinds of irritations in a homeopathetic manner, allegedly. There are companion products which can be …


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  1. Disco-Legend-Zeke

    I See A Great Danger...

    ...if some poor sod mistakes the two Seagates and tries to remedy that annoying itch by anal application of a hard drive.

  2. iamapizza
    Thumb Up


    SATAsfaction guaranteed.

  3. The Other Steve
    Thumb Up

    I could squirt cold water up my ass

    Or I could just continue with my wildly successful and long running strategy of taking regular* showers.

    Tough choice.

    *Sometimes as often as once a day.

    <- Thumb. Work it out :0

    1. Anonymous Coward

      I shower once a month.

      Whether I need to or not.

  4. TeeCee Gold badge

    Ah, a homeopathic product?

    I'll be turning my arse to that then.....

  5. Loyal Commenter Silver badge


    I very nearly spat my tea out!

  6. Tigra 07
    Thumb Up

    I never knew swamp ass was real

    Is that image a close-up or is the nozzle actually 7 inches long?

    In which case a douche might just be a cheaper option and less invasive

  7. GettinSadda


    "The product contains borax, helonius, kreosotum and platina..."

    If this is "Homoeopathic" then it does not contain any of the above - just water. The listed items will have been involved in the early stages of production, but by the time you get to the finished product, none of them will remain.

    1. The Other Steve

      Borax ???

      For treating homoeopathic ass fleas ?

  8. Chris Hunt


    If it's a homeopathic remedy, it doesn't contain "borax, helonius, kreosotum and platina" at all (beyond the odd random molecule). It's made up entirely of water and bullshit.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      Chris Hunt: "If it's a homeopathic remedy, it doesn't contain "borax, helonius, kreosotum and platina" at all (beyond the odd random molecule). It's made up entirely of water and bullshit."

      Homeopaths are claiming that this in fact proves something about homeopathy, since (counter-intutively) it turns out that the more you dilute such "medicines", the more bullshit they appear to contain.

  9. Pavlov's obedient mutt
    Thumb Up

    this story stinks

    'nuff said

  10. Cunningly Linguistic

    Since Seagate bought Maxtor...

    ...they can ram them up their collective arses too!

  11. Patrick R

    They sold door stops last year.

    Now they'd sell you something to ease the brick through painlessly.

  12. Anonymous Coward


    How much does it costs?

    (I know someone who needs it - honest mister)

  13. LinkOfHyrule


    I've just taken delivery of a brand spanking new homoeopathic 1TB hard-drive. I think I was ripped off though as the box just contains water - apparently thought the water "has the memory" of being a hard drive so it will still work!

  14. Jon of Monkeys


    Worryingly, observing the packaging, it looks like an additional person might be required to apply the product. Perhaps this is for accuracy and to avoid unnecessary spraying of regular skin.

    You'd have to be incredibly close to have that kind of forgiving relationship.

    1. JP19

      Before or after?

      Were you observing the packaging before or after this article was published, I wonder.

  15. Anonymous Coward

    Only Olive

    Does anyone know if you can get it in strawberry and mint flavor..

    My wife isnt fond of Olive.

  16. Bucky 2

    Sounds Expensive

    Wow, olive flavored ass rinse? Sounds like a lot of expense.

    For anal itching, I'll just stick with a shaving mirror, water pic, and toenail clippers.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Homeopathic my arse

    These people don't know what they're talking about.

  18. This post has been deleted by its author

  19. asiaseen

    Not forgetting that

    what goes up, must come down.

    Incidentally, is not "kreosotum" a fancy way of spelling creosote?

  20. John H Woods Silver badge


    That is all.

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