back to article Strange, blobaceous 'alien pod' lifeform found in Virginian lake

Baffled passers-by have discovered a large, bizarre, blob-like lifeform floating in an artificial lake in Virginia. As there appeared no way in which the slow-moving, four-foot "mysterious blob" could have got into the lake naturally, the thing's discoverers - theorising that it must have come from above - have dubbed it the " …

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  1. Tom 7 Silver badge

    Dont you hate it when

    people who know what they are talking about get involved in UFO discussions.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If it weighs the same as a ufo...

      "As there appeared no way in which the slow-moving, four-foot "mysterious blob" could have got into the lake naturally, the thing's discoverers - theorising that it must have come from above"

      Therefore, it must be... a witch!

      God save us from people who have to invent an explanation because they can't find the real one.

  2. Hollerith 1

    Perhaps the boffins would care to step around...

    ..to my modest flat. i came back from holiday to find a forgotten litre of milk with something very similar floating on top. Is this a first for the UK?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Definitely something alien there!

      You've got a blob that's 4 feet in diameter inside a milk bottle?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Alien Pod"

    Oh dear... here comes another Apple copyright suit...

  4. hplasm
    Joke

    Virginia Lake?

    I always though she was prettier than that...

  5. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge
    IT Angle

    Obviously....

    been caused by Climate Change (aka Global Warming, until the Earth started getting colder)....

    Turn off your standbys, and pay vast electricity bills, and these things will go away...

  6. TeeCee Gold badge
    WTF?

    Did they really say that?

    "“actually a good thing to have around......<waffle>.......it will be smelly if it’s removed from the water.”

    So, an accurate summation of that little lot would be: "It's Ok.......but it smells a bit."?

    As plain English goes that'll be Heart of Gold atmospheric analyser 1, Boffins 0 then.

    1. Pablo
      Thumb Down

      Perhaps

      They meant if removed from the water, it will DIE and then smell?

  7. Mike Brown

    untitled

    they touched it? have they never seen the numerous documentaries.....sorry films regarding this subject? last thing you want to do is touch it, more dangerous are discussing your plans to marry a local lass, or reveal your a virgin. pppffftt amatuers

    1. Graham Marsden
      Thumb Up

      Don't forget...

      ... being just a few days away from retirement if you're a law enforcement official

      1. Muscleguy Silver badge
        Alien

        Live Long and Prosper

        Or be wearing a red shirt and come from the Starship Enterprise.

    2. Raumkraut

      No touching!

      They claim to have "prodded" it, which does not necessarily involve skin-to-blob contact. They probably made use of a tree branch, or a passing hobo.

      1. Richard 81

        Ick

        That didn't help the first victim of The Blob. He picked it up with a stick and it still ate him.

  8. Winkypop Silver badge
    Alien

    I don't know what it is or how to explain it...

    ....ergo, it MUST be a higher power, a deity, space-aliens, etc.

    You know the drill.

  9. semprance

    "the texture appears to be that of a rock with algae spots"

    Is it at all possible that they've discovered a rock with algae spots?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      WTF?

      Floating?

      That is all.

  10. Gerrit Hoekstra
    Coat

    Just nuke the f*cker!

    It ain't American!

    (mine's the coat with the Greenpeace logo)

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Troll

    forgive my irrelevant post

    but I do find that line to be very strange: "discovered by office worker Tracy Collier while out walking her boss's dog"

    is it normal in America to have one of your employees walk your dog for you? Or is this _employee_ just someone hired to walk the dog but the boss decided that she should be in the company payroll?

    in my company, I wouldn't even dream of ordering one of the employees to do some private work for me during working hours. The best I can get away with is asking for a favor from my co-workers.

    P.S. IMHO, the mere fact that the boss would bring his/her dog to the office is disturbing, actually telling someone in the office to walk the dog is more so.

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: forgive my irrelevant post

      Good grief.

      1. Ted Treen
        Thumb Up

        Good Grief??

        You are Charlie Brown and I claim my prize.

    2. nickrw
      Go

      Re: forgive my irrelevant post

      My boss has brought his dog in to work before, I've got a picture of it chewing on my chair somewhere. Colleagues took it out for walks in order to use it (as a puppy) as a 'babe magnet'*, so... perhaps she was out cruising by the lake?

      * Disclaimer: puppies are indiscriminate and will attract a wide cross-section of the general public regardless of attractiveness or sexual preference.

    3. Shades
      Happy

      @AC: It may be irrelevant but...

      ...I can bring it back to an IT angle! May I present to you Jay Miner (RIP), "Father" of the Amiga:

      "Jay always took his dog "Mitchy" (a cockapoo) with him wherever he went. While he worked at Atari, Mitchy even had her own ID-badge, and Mitchy's paw print is visible on the inside of the Amiga 1000 top cover."

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      or...

      maybe "walking the boss's dog" is some new transatlantic euphemism?

  12. iamapizza

    Obligatory

    I, for one, would like to welcome our large, bizarre, blob-like lifeform overlord as it floats in an artificial lake in Virginia.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Welcome

    I for one..

    ...welcome our gelatenous, water-resident, borg-collective-minded blob overlords.

    1. multipharious
      Thumb Up

      I actually came snooping about in this forum...

      ...looking for this post.

    2. Ted Treen
      Terminator

      So THAT'S where...

      Mandelson's gone...

  14. The Fuzzy Wotnot
    Pint

    Looks like a dead and bloated croc carcass to me!

    The day aliens land in Hyde Park on a Tuesday afternoon and hold a proper press conference, and not appear to some inbred, brain-dead hicks in the back of beyond, I will give alien life some credence, until that day, UFO nuts STFU and get a life!

  15. Havin_it
    Coffee/keyboard

    Isn't anyone else troubled

    by the pic credit to "Mr Charles Schmuck"?

    /checks calendar, long way off April

    1. Jolyon

      Chuck Schmuck

      Is referenced in the article text too.

      I'd like to buy his parents a beer.

      1. Ted Treen
        Thumb Down

        And...

        being a 'Merkin, he's known as "Chuck Schmuck"?

        FFS

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Pass me mah prodding stick

    Imma do me some xenobiology

  17. Charlie Schmuck

    Calrification

    I am the aforementioned Charlie Schmuck. The guy who took the photo, and contacted VIMS. So, let's clear some things up.....

    Yes, most people call me Chuck. It happens that how 'Merkans are.

    My mother doesn't drink, but if you are ever in the Seattle area, my dad would love a free beer.

    We aren't 'ordered' to walk the dog. She is our office mascot, and we do it because we love the dog. Also, it helps pass time on smoke breaks.

    We didn't actually touch the blob, it was about 6 feet (2 meters) from the shore. We used a 1" x 1" piece of wood we had in our shop.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Oh! Found!

    Here's the apparent dog that was being walked.

    http://soundapproach.com/mascot.php

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    Who needs aliens?

    We've got some really frackin' weird creatures here already, stranger than most sci-fi writers can come up with. The platypus and slime molds, of course. Starfish that regenerate and inject their stomachs into bivalves to digest them in the shell. Colossal squid. Parasites whose larvae eat the brains of their host/victim. Spiders that eat their mates after/during copulation (may be considered extreme porn). The reproductive organs of ducks, particularly Muscovies (same). Moray eels, with their extensible secondary jaws. Etc.

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Who needs aliens?

      Yes, nature is bonkers. Have you seen those parasites that turn the antennae of snails into PULSATING DISCO LIGHTS meant to look like maggots, and get the snails to go out in the open and get eaten by birds? The horror!

      Also, the parasite cats carry that most of the world is now infected with, which changes your behaviour. This explains a lot.

  20. edw987

    Seed Pods on Raritan River

    I saw a mysterious swimming black thing on the Raritan River in New Jersey, USA a few weeks ago. The Rutgers University sculling team was out in drill. I was standing right at the canal entrance. Then I saw this thing floating against the tide in the middle of the river. It could very well have been one of the seed pods.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Alternative Theory

    An alternative theory is that it is exactly what it looks like, namely, a carpet remnant that someone illegally dumped into the pond.

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