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back to article Shuttle Discovery to bring back PLAGUE RODENTS from SPACE

Worryingly, plans have been announced to expose a horde of rodents to bizarre, poorly understood space plagues and bring them back to Earth for experiments. "The space environment incorporates many factors that we know affect the immune system — microgravity, radiation, even different nutritional standards — all acting in a …

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  1. Anonymous John

    Title

    Has the Playmonaut been quarantined?

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  2. Chrome
    Thumb Up

    URL

    Genius!

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  3. Stone Fox
    Coffee/keyboard

    space-plague murines!

    New keyboard please! :D

    (nurgle mice)

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  4. Anonymous Coward
    Heart

    Title

    Bless you, Lewis Page.

    that is all.

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  5. VinceH

    Letters, Digits.

    "It seems that the hazards of spacegoing tend to make humans and animals less resistant to diseases. Not only do they become less resistant to regular infections such as flu or colds,"

    Hmmm. Over the last few years I've noticed that I seem to suffer cold and flu bugs more than I used to. Obviously, what must have happened is that a few years ago I was abducted by aliens. That's the only possible explanation. Now, who do I see about compensation?

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  6. Watashi

    28 Orbits Later

    Time to start stockpiling weapons and tins of Spam. Where's the Zombie Apocalypse icon?

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      You don't understand

      ...these mice are infected.

      Infected with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!1!!!11!!!ELEVEN

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  7. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    What could possibly go wrong?!

    I think that returning rodents infected with a mutant space virus is how the zombie invasion is going to start.....

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  8. Disco-Legend-Zeke
    FAIL

    Just When...

    ...the west coast is blanketed by "lung infection"s.

    Nice timing, NASA.

    I even checked my calendar to be sure it was not friday.

    *koff* *koff*

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  9. harryb

    Lost the plot...

    The plot actually goes something like this...

    Male and female astronauts looking for solitude end up errm crashing against the mouse pods in the throes of passion. Plague mice escape into the shuttle and hide. Mice breed and mutate into super plague mice. Mice having nothing to eat so chewing cables in the space station. Space station starts to behave erratically and is in danger of breaking up. Emergency rescue mission planned to rescue astronauts from space station. In the chaos of the rescue the by now very deadly plague mice escape into the rescue craft. Then... cue black helicopters etc.

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    1. Jonathan Richards 1 Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Thumb Up

      It appears I am the first to say

      ...nuke it from^W IN orbit. It's the only way.

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  10. AlistairJ
    Boffin

    Easyjet

    This has been tried on human subjects for years. Your regular charter jet is an airborne breeding ground for virulent strains of mutant virus, and usually packed full of meaty test subjects with compromised immune systems to boot.

    Ever wondered why you always get at least a cold and usually worse after returning from your holidays? Now you know.

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