Front End / Client Side Web Developer

The position has now been filled and applications are now closed. Situation Publishing, owner of The Register and Reg Hardware, is looking for a full time developer to primarily work on HTML(5), CSS, JavaScript/jQuery and template engines such as XSLT and Perl’s Template Toolkit. You’ll work in our Edinburgh office and will be …

[James 127]

That all sounds very interesting,......

No, sorry, I don't know any of that but I make a dam fine coffee ;)

[Anonymous Coward]

Damn fine coffee...

Walking to Costas and back doesn't count as 'Making' it.

[Anonymous Coward]

I can write a post on the reg forums.

So........ When can i start.

[jake]

::eeww::

After reading that, I feel unclean ... Shirley it should be labeled NSFW?

[Witty username]

i can use frontpage

and i expect 80k +

when do i start? :D

[tardigrade]

i can use f********

Please don't use the 'f' word.

[Pete 2]

Taken

Oh all right, I'll do it. Just send over the stuff and a large box of money and I'll see what I can do.

I have one question though:

> Cat-like curiosity ... do I have to be able to lick my own (or someone else's) bum, too?

[Shane8]

perl?

why perl, i found it alot more confusing than php when making sites....

[Juillen 1]

PERL because..

You can do a lot more with it?

[Anonymous Coward]

Best troll...

...evar!

[adnim]

Encyclopedic understanding of ... ?

I'm just grateful for my ability to quickly isolate pertinent information from thousands of pages of meaningless irrelevancy in the blink of any eye, oh and Scroogle.

Agreed this kind of knowledge retrieval does incur a time penalty when compared to human memory recall.

At this point I feel I must express grateful thanks to my autonomous nervous system, without which I would forget to breathe.

[Anonymous Coward]

Cat-like curiosity

My cat has spent all morning sitting in the corner staring at the wall*

If I can display similar skills can I have the job?

*I suspect she's plotting something

[Anonymous Coward]

Sounds fairly close to ideal...

...but a bit much of a commute for me :(

[Anonymous Coward]

Mmmmmm

Well, I know how to make the border change colour on a ZX Speccy, and I can totally hack Kevin Toms Football Manager to give my team a zillion quid.

I'm sure with suitable training I would be able to work out how PLOT, DRAW, CIRCLE and POINT work too.

[Z80]

I'm ignoring the requirement for a title in the hope that it goes away.

I can do spinning logos or flaming logos. That good enough?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LkQrtCIFA4

[hi_robb]

Hmmm shouldn't it be

"We rely heavily on Git(s)"

Or in Scotland Gets

D

[Pawel 1]

HTML5 on El Reg??

Where exactly, Sir?

All your pages start with "DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN" "

[Mike Flex]

...JavaScript/jQuery

Shurely any self-respecting Regtard will be running NoScript.

[Anonymous Coward]

I know HTML5 and all that, but ...

most important question of all: Will I get to sit next to Ms. Bee?

[A handle is required]

Clever

Love the "job posting" in the Register homepage source code:

<!-- *****************************************************

IF YOU ARE READING THIS, THEN READ THIS http://reg.cx/1KxC

****************************************************** -->

[Ken Hagan]

That missing sixth requirement...

You'll be thicker skinned than a rhino in armour.

...since you'll get the blame for every aspect of El Reg's web-site and if you're reading the advert on the site itself then you surely already know what you're letting yourself in for.

Oh, and by the way, the fixed width page design still sucks. My desktop monitor hasn't got any narrower and my netbook hasn't got any wider.