back to article Gov rolls out 'dedicated area of the internet' for digi-ware tests

The government quango in charge of techbiz development, the Technology Strategy Board, has unveiled new schemes today aimed at greasing the progress of Blighty's general knowledge-wealthiness. In particular, the TSB has brought out a sort of digital playground in which companies can try out new netty stuff with government- …

COMMENTS

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    title goes here

    vacuous waste of money; get rid of it.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    oooh look - a playground for Kent

    That's all.

    I won't mention Phorm or Webwise

    Oh bugger

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A check mark for each and every buzzword

    But now in small words so that this techie can understand it too, please.

    What is that thing, really?

  4. Real Ale is Best
    Dead Vulture

    I read this article twice.

    It still doesn't make any sense!

  5. zedenne
    WTF?

    sorry, but have to agree with @hohoho

    "With over £1 billion to invest over 3 years we have the opportunity to start to make a difference in changing the innovation environment in the UK."

    splutter splutter splutter...

    £1Billion?

    is it me or do government types simply not understand how much £1B pounds is?

    the last 4 startups i've been involved with had combined initial funding of about £4M. one of them went on to be sold for $1B. the current one has run quite happily for 3 years on an initial investment of 1.3M and now makes a profit.

    biotech may need this sort of help. please stay away from the internet startup scene.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Suggestion: Subsidize Ticket To STR, MUC and FRA

    German industry has an urgent need for people with real skills. Give them a ticket from ryanair and point them to

    http://jobboerse.arbeitsagentur.de/vamJB/stellenangeboteFinden.html?execution=e1s1

    Many companies are already doing very well again here, as the BRIC countries like our machines and cars and that "socialist" Airbus thing.

    This is Europe and you can move anywhere and simply start at the 1st of coming month; no permits required whatsoever. Just register yourself with the Mayor's House, rent an apartment, go to work.

    Lots of Italian, Chinese, Greek, Turkish and other food if you don't like Schnitzel every day.

    Kids know english and you will discover that your own language and the French and German languages are very, very closely related.

    Hand==Hand

    Baer==Bär

    Finger==Finger

    Hound==Hund

    Mice==Mäuse

    Auge == Eye

    Ok, there's also

    Government==Regierung

    Sprache == langue ==language

    Window == Fenster == Fenestra == Wind-Auge (!)

    GO - to the airport.

    but you will manage.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      And while you're at it

      Learn to understand

      "Ihre Papiere, bitte." or "Ihr Ausweis, bitte", which means the plod or whoever in charge wants to see your ID. In case of being in a car, your driver's licence required too.

      Also learn that way more money is taken off your monthly wage for all sorts of insurances and tax.

      Many places don't understand the concept of flex time (my experience and that of friends at least).

      if you're sick, you don't phone or mail in to let some one know, but you also have to visit a GP and get a note from the GP verifying that you have a cold etc. and a date when you can return to your job.

      It's not all fine and dandy over there.

      Things seem to be, mostly, more relaxed here (UK) than in Germany.

      Says me, a German in UK.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Also don't admit

        that you're catholic or protestant, for the state taxes you for that and then presumably pushes the monies on to whichever church you said you belonged to.

        And make sure you get letters of reference for bloody everything. Without that and copies of diplomas and things you're SOL. Though you sometimes can get N years worked turned into another experience certificate.

        And while at it make sure you document everything you do with things like landlords and especially the government, even more especially the taxman. I had a sack of nonexistent income invented for taxing purposes. Retain someone, perhaps a lawyer, who can write proper formal German letters, and who still has a fax machine.

        Beyond that, IME almost all Euro countries are growing more oppressive every day, each in their own very special way. CCTVs here, ID cards there, excessive paper trail and data retention demands next to that, you name it, at least some countries got it, others to follow. Best not to run away into euroland, but to somewhere outside that (and us+ca as well). Switzerland looked attractive a while back, a bit less so now. Well, where else, suggestions?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          FAIL

          The German High Court

          ..just dismissed the half-year telecom data retention laws as unconstitutional. Britain is much close to Big Brother than Germany.

          In the UK, there is even a flourishing industry of Private Communications Intelligence. Go figure.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Grenade

          WTF ?

          "that you're catholic or protestant, for the state taxes you for that and then presumably pushes the monies on to whichever church you said you belonged to."

          You just walk up to the Mayor's house, state "I am no longer member of Church XX", sign it. Done. No more religious taxes from that point on.

          The trouble you might get with the priest is entirely an affair between you and your ("no-longer") Church.

          Plus, we have all sorts of moronic and/or apocalyptic american churches here and you are free to join. They normally collect the money via psycho terror. Fell free to attempt resignation from those churches in a civilized way.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Yes? So?

            How does that contradict the comment, except that I forgot to mention to do it on the right official form? For if you don't, they'll send you another one to fill out. I mean, the German tax man does act as a fee collector for at least the catholic and protestant churches. Not so?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Stop

        @And while you're at it

        ""Ihre Papiere, bitte." or "Ihr Ausweis, bitte", which means the plod or whoever in charge wants to see your ID. In case of being in a car, your driver's licence required too."

        Oh, and you can drive a car in the UK w/o driving license ? Sure. If you have no ID in Germany, it is normally quite sufficient to tell Name, birthdate, birthplace, get checked against a "wanted" database and that's it. If you have some kind of financial ID or company ID with you, that will be perfectly sufficient. It is no crime to walk w/o an ID card.

        Experienced police officers (as opposed to Burger-eating jerks) will figure whether your story is legit or not. If you look like a drug pusher and have a strange story you have to follow them to the police station, indeed for a check against the image database. It never happened to me or my friends though.

        I once got arrested for alleged rape and that was not a completely nice experience. But what would happen in Britain ? Exactly the same:

        Some tough questioning along the lines of "let out the truth, it will relieve you", checking Alibis, DNA test and then being driven home three hours later. Not beating, no waterboarding, no Army dogs, just tough questions.

        "Also learn that way more money is taken off your monthly wage for all sorts of insurances and tax."

        And you get it back if you have worked for two or more years and then you are laid off. 2/3rd of last net income for one year. Then healthcare, apartment and 350 Euros/month. Not too bad, compared to Britain.

        "if you're sick, you don't phone or mail in to let some one know, but you also have to visit a GP and get a note from the GP verifying that you have a cold etc. and a date when you can return to your job."

        Untrue. Only if your sickness lasts longer than three days.

        "It's not all fine and dandy over there."

        Oh my fscking GOD ! Germany is not a paradise ? They don't get free roasted birds flying directly into their teeth ???? Seriously ??

        "Things seem to be, mostly, more relaxed here (UK) than in Germany.

        Says me, a German in UK."

        Yeah, we have quite a few retards who could either be called "Anglophiles" or "self-haters" who will list every advantage of Britain and the US and then conveniently forget the downsides. German politicians are all sooo stupid, everything is sooo over-regulated. No way to rape the state&public financially ! Germany is indeed a tyranny of bureaucrats who stifle the Good Work Of Bankers !

        Rationally, every place has upsides and downsides and that includes places like Zurich, Hongkong and Stuttgart. But if you are out of a job in Leeds and can get one in Stuttgart, it might cheer you up. The competent police officer asking you for ID once in five years won't change that, in my opinion. And they ddin't practice waterboarding recently, by the way.

        Now, AC, tell me where you can find the Gestapo heritage in the Kriminalpolizei or something. I am sure your tea leaves will display something.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          and while we're at it

          """Ihre Papiere, bitte." or "Ihr Ausweis, bitte", which means the plod or whoever in charge wants to see your ID. In case of being in a car, your driver's licence required too."

          Oh, and you can drive a car in the UK w/o driving license ? Sure. If you have no ID in Germany, it is normally quite sufficient to tell Name, birthdate, birthplace, get checked against a "wanted" database and that's it. If you have some kind of financial ID or company ID with you, that will be perfectly sufficient. It is no crime to walk w/o an ID card."

          I just simply added some translations, same as you, no big deal and nothing to get upset about.

          ""if you're sick, you don't phone or mail in to let some one know, but you also have to visit a GP and get a note from the GP verifying that you have a cold etc. and a date when you can return to your job."

          Untrue. Only if your sickness lasts longer than three days."

          That's new to me only for 3days+, but then the one time I needed it I was out for >5 days anyway.

          ""It's not all fine and dandy over there."

          Oh my fscking GOD ! Germany is not a paradise ? They don't get free roasted birds flying directly into their teeth ???? Seriously ??"

          Indeed it isn't, get over it.

          Never have I said that UK is a paradise either, which it absolutely isn't.

          "German politicians are all sooo stupid, everything is sooo over-regulated. No way to rape the state&public financially ! Germany is indeed a tyranny of bureaucrats who stifle the Good Work Of Bankers !"

          Yes, they are. Just look at the circus that is the CDU/CSU, FDP and SPD and the rest of that bunch. The only one raping the state and public financially are exactly them politicians.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    There's an English Mode of the Arbeitsagentur Job Search Engine

    http://jobboerse.arbeitsagentur.de/vamJB/stellenangeboteFinden.html?execution=e1s3&d_6827794_p=1#a358706291

  8. nichomach
    FAIL

    Ah. This would be the...

    ....new flavour together-in-the-national-interest a-fresh-start-for-Britain anti-pointless-quango government, would it? That didn't take long.

  9. Oli 1

    confused.com

    If you type google... into google... i have it on good authourity that you could break the internet!

    Can someone pop over and explain how the internet works please?

  10. Jacqui
    Thumb Down

    kill the quango's

    Magic - now .gov.uk are on a quango hunt and suddenly the "do nothing but lunch" quangos are now coming out of the woodwork with anything they can quickly put together to provide an excuse for continued existence.

    I would certainly be very very worried about presenting a new (HCI model/interface) to testers without having knowledge of who they are/work for etc.

    After all .gov.uk, .mil.uk and .police.uk have a proven track record of filtching technology rather than paying for it. I suspect this is aimed at the SMB market and is ran by the large providers as a way to gather intel on emerging HCI and apps. You dont believe the big four *.uk suppliers actually waste money innovating when the SMB's will provide new ideas they can filtch?

  11. The Other Steve
    FAIL

    Tech Fertiliser

    It most certainly is. I thought we were going to stop spunking taxpayer cash at pointless quangos.

    1. frank ly

      Wrong Image

      I was thinking of a different kind of fertiliser; the back end of a bull stuff.

  12. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    @Tech Fertiliser

    No, the last government wasted billions on pointless quangos run by management consultants. The current government intends to invest billions in independant bodies who use the best skills of the market place.

    Completely different words, same outcome, but completely different words

  13. dephormation.org.uk
    Badgers

    IC Tomorrow, BT Yesterday?

    You're referring to BT's network aren't you?

    A playground where illegal and stupid ideas are tested on unsuspecting internet users without any regard for complications like the law, consent, ethics, or industrial espionage.

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