back to article BOFH: Lock shock

“No, I’m pretty sure you don’t work for the company,” the PFY says, tapping away furiously on his keyboard. “What’s up?” I ask, as the PFY mutes the phone while the bloke on the other end has some form of protracted verbal seizure. “That idiot from accounts who wanted us to pick up the bill for his home broadband has got a …


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  1. MJI Silver badge
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    I liked this one

  2. The Gopher
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    Revenge - best served Chilled..

    Hmm got to love it, PFY and BOFH in full flow, the erm sorry who did they say they were again the boss, can't be, I'd see it come up on the system. I guess not.. Security we have people in the building claiming to be the Boss and various IT people, they aren't in the HR database or in the system anywhere could you kindly deal with them.. You are authorised to use any means required..

  3. B4PJS
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    Awesome as ever :)

  4. DI_Wyman
    Pint see how the dogs react...”

    Crackin' idea Gromit!

  5. deadlockvictim Silver badge

    A DBA dreams...

    Moral of the story: home broadband can be bad for your health.

    1. vyzar

      @A DBA dreams...

      "Moral of the story: home broadband can be bad for your health."

      Shouldn't that be bad for your wealth??

  6. LINCARD1000


    ...that is all.

    The sobering thing is that in many large organisations you probably could do something like this relatively easily.

  7. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
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    "the Boss’ minus touch"

    Magic :)

  8. Fractured Cell

    Initiating Mobile Phone Tracer...

    Gold. Pure Gold.

    Keep up the work, or I will hunt you down, and turn you into a christmas-themed hat made from simon-skin...

  9. Isendel Steel

    When will they learn....?

    back to form - an interlude during the war with the security droid makers...

  10. bugalugs


    “So you told him to get stuffed, right?”

    “Sure did. So then he got his boss on the phone...”

    “And you told him to get stuffed too, right?”

    “Yep, and then he got his boss on the phone...”

    “And you told him to get stuffed as well, right?”

    “You bet. And then he got our boss on the phone...”

    “And you definitely told him to get stuffed, right?”

    “I did....

    Of course this is a mere skirmish in a small battle

    in a campaign the script for which

    the PFY is still furiously entering !

    10 on the guffometer !

  11. Anonymous Coward

    Amazing, gives

    me ideas as I have just got a pair of GSD and the food bills are quite horrendous.

    Nice one!

  12. Dave 62

    i lulzed

    a return to form me thinks.

  13. Speeder
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    Good old days :P

    Yeah this reminds me of the good old days of BOFH when deleted students and stuff :)

  14. Michael H.F. Wilkinson

    Nice one

    And hot on the heels of the previous one too.

    No withdrawal symptoms at all.

  15. Tom7
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    Well, that was quick

    Even for these two megalomaniacs, that was escalation on a grand scale. At this rate, how long would the company survive?

    1. nichomach
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      ...longer and more efficiently than if they hadn't?

  16. Bob Foster
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    Back to his roots

    Nice to see the BOFH go back to basics, nothing like a nice bit of account/file deletion

  17. 4a$$Monkey

    OMG Best BOFH in ages

    Nice one!

  18. Mark Rosher
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    Belly laugh out loud!

    Shirley there's the plot of a decent comedy film in that somewhere...

  19. Ian Ferguson
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    Hacking people is always more fun than hacking computers ;)

  20. Russ Tarbox
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    Finally back to proper IT!

    A welcome return.

  21. Charlie van Becelaere
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    What about the robots, man? What about the robots?!

  22. Anonymous Coward
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    2 Weeks in a row!!!

    Of course I check every Friday specifically to see if there is a new BOFH. And what to my wondering eyes should appear? But a shiny new BOFH! And an excellent one at that!

    Thanks for getting my Friday off to a great start!!!

    (AC - At work)

  23. D. M
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    So true on the pay day

    Many places won't be able to pay you if you don't have all the details couple of days before pay day, let alone none existing staff. The HR process would take at least a week or two.

    But lusers never learn. It is not good idea to wage war with BOFH.

    The company would do better without few of those clueless managers for sure.

  24. Kurgan
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    Very nice indeed.

  25. Anonymous Coward
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    Good times...

    The company's probably better off for the massive churn.

  26. maclovinz

    F--- Yes

    Release the dogs...

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ~~~~~~wavy lines~~~~~~~

    Excellent, gave me the warm fuzzies for the old days when the BOFH was tormenting students and faculty staff.

    "Huh?... I'd used 4 Meg already, How could I have 4 Meg Available?"

    I say nothing. It'll come to him.

    Enquiring minds need to know though, do the BOFH and PFY contract? I know a company that could use their talents

  28. mittfh

    The robots?

    They'll be escorting the intruders out of the building, of course. Although it might be useful to re-equip one to clear up the resulting mess of blood and gore...

  29. Anonymous Coward

    Sad, really

    I was hoping the boss would get zapped by a mains short in the door systems....

    1. Martin Penny

      Re: Sad, really

      I'm sure that's part of Simon's "Standard Operating Procedure" ...

    2. Daniel B.
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      I'm pretty sure that the 'security' guards are armed with dubious Eastern European carbon rod-wielding shockers...

  30. Adrian Esdaile


    The BOFH is in his office; all's clickety-boo with the world!

    Wife! Another Double Chocolate Stout please!

  31. Deadly_NZ

    Release the Houndzzzzzzzz

    Maybe they are robotic dogs??

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    @"What about the robots?!"

    ... plugged into some undisclosed home broadband connection. Awaiting orders.

  33. RyokuMas Silver badge
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    Classic BOFH is back...

    Ah, this is like BOFH was a good few years back when your could take care of everything with a quick *clickety*... good job

  34. tony trolle

    I was hoping for more Robot wars


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