back to article Nigerian perv scanners lay Lagos ladies bare

Security officials at Nigerian airports are using perv scanners to ogle female passengers "for fun", according to a report from This Day. The 3D body imaging kit - installed in the wake of the Xmas Day Farouk AbdulMutallab (non-) exploding underpants outrage - protects the identity of the scanee by blurring the face. However …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Did they really think this wasn't going to happen!!!

    personally I would want to have a completion to spot the biggest moose or the dude with the larges wang!

    funnnar funaar

    of course in the country they are operated by Professionals.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Boffin

      At the very least

      The people looking at the perv scan screens should be in a building miles away from the airport. There's no legitimate reason they need to be physically anywhere near the actual passengers. Obviously, they can be in voice communication with the security personnel in the passenger screening area. Just disconnecting the perv scan viewing from the visible sight of the passengers would dampen this behavior.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Would mean having to pipe the video over...

        and would also save them having to pop in and out of the screen booth to see if the perv view was going to be worth it. Or their associates on the end of the voice communication could direct the good looking ones to the right scanner and tip the viewer off.

        They view this as a bit of fun with a new device, what ever is done, a way to use the perv scanner for perv viewing will be found, and anyway it was designed to be a perv scanner.

      2. Tigra 07 Silver badge
        Grenade

        RE: AC

        I liked that idea until i thought "what if that's the only thing stopping them from having a wank?"

        These people need to be watched and kept an eye on.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    at the very least they are honest about it ..

    .. they didn't give people a false sense of privacy.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Its fine

    as long as they don't store the images!

    Not.

    1. Version 1.0 Silver badge
      Happy

      What's the chance that ...

      ... these scanners have a hard drive in them? I'll be checking e-bay in a few years.

      Personally, I think that aircraft travel security could be considerably improved by simply making everyone fly naked. Obviously the religious folks would be allowed a small veil or yarmulke - but nothing else. Given that we wouldn't need scanners or "pat-downs" at all (a simple walk through metal detector would suffice for security) the costs of the whole security theater would be much lower.

      1. John H Woods Silver badge

        Bravo!

        I suggested this here once before and was downvoted - but I think you're right: with one caveat - absolutely no concessions should be made for religious folks whatsoever.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Joke

          I tried...

          They wouldn't let me through until I put some clothes on!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    well duh

    that's what the machines are for. Primarily they were designed for the profit and sole benefit of the people manufacturing them, as a solution to a problem that never really existed, justified by an "underwear bomber" who was allowed to board a plane without a passport or identification.

    And secondarily they are designed to force you into the submissive position of showing your genitals to complete strangers before you can be granted your basic freedom to enter or leave the country where you live.

    Certainly it is 100% fact that the people operating these machines DO save the images and are able to easily determine the identities of anyone scanned. And it is fairly obvious also that almost no effort was or has at any point been put into preventing this from happening.

  5. Stoneshop Silver badge
    Coat

    Perv scammers

    "then rush back in to admire her assets." - those assets (worth TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSANDS US DOLLARS ONLY) then being offered to a trustworthy party, with just a small bit of cash required to get them moving?

  6. ShaggyDoggy

    PICS

    or it didn't happen

  7. rahul
    Joke

    HELLO I AM DR EDMOND DANTES...

    MAY THE BLESSINGS OF THE GOOD GOD BE UPON YOU.

    I HAVE A CONFIRMED CONTRACT TO SUPPLY 40 (FORTY ONLY) FULL BODY SCANNERS TO NIGERIA AIRPORT, BUT SINCE REPORTS OF THEIR MISUSE, THE AIRPORT HAS SUSPENDED DELIVERY. I HAVE BEEN PAID AND THE ITEMS ARE NOW REPOSSESED AS PER CONFIRMED DELIVERY CONTACT TERMS.

    NOW, I OFFER YOU THESE MACHINES ARE VERY DISCOUNT PRICE TO SELL FOR YOUR AIRPORT. MY CONTACT WILL PURCHASE THE MACHINES FROM YOU AT 30 TIMES (THIRTY ONLY) THE PRICE YOU BUY IT FOR FROM ME.

    SINCE HE IS MY REGULAR CONTACT YOU NEED NOT WORRY FOR PROBLEMS AND AFTER SERVICE OF SALES.

    PLEASE SEND BY WESTERN UNION USD 40,000 FOR 40 NOS OF FULL BODY SCANNER.

    (For the clueless, this is a scam-format message. Do not send any money anywhere.)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Hello Dr Dantes

      Your message appears to have been corrupted as you did not provide a bank account for me to send the money to.

      Would you be able to provide a bank account?

      Thank you

      A Sucker

      P.S. Does "scam-format" mean that it is extra secure?

      P.P.S Note that I will only send your money to your bank account once you provide the bank details. I'm not going to send the money "anywhere" - someone might steal it!

    2. Tigra 07 Silver badge
      Troll

      I have a problem Mr Dantes

      Mr Dantes, i saw 5 other Mr E Dantes in the phone book

      Which one is you?

      Obviously i don't want to ask them because they may lie and steal my money when i post it.

      Is it also ok to post it in cash in a clear sandwich bag with a first class stamp stuck on?

    3. frankgobbo
      FAIL

      Buying perv scanner

      @rahul:

      I have sent the sum of $40,000 UNITED STATES DOLLARS to your western union contact, however have yet to hear back a scheduled delivery date nor a tracking number.

      Can you please advise when I will be receiving my items?

      Thanks!

      1. rahul
        Pint

        Unfortunately...

        I CANNOT SEND THE SCANNERS AS ONE PISE DUE TO EXPORT REGULATIONS FROM THE MINISTRY OF SENSITIVE ITEMS RE-EXPORT RESTRICTION RULES. SO WE HAVE DIS-ASSEMBLED THE ITEMS INTO VARIOUS COMPONENT BOXES AND HAVE KEPT IT READY FOR SHIPMENT. PLEASE SEE http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/12/01/article-1090853-02A74237000005DC-206_468x707.jpg FOR THE PICTURE OF DISASSEMBLED SCANNERS.

        NOW MY FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD BARRISTER MR ROGER GLOSSY POLISH FROM NAJI REGION WILL CONTACT YOU BY EMAIL TO SEND YOU THE PAPER THAT YOU HAVE TO SIGN IN WHICH IT STATES THAT YOU ARE RECEIVING REFRIGERATOR SPARE PARTS AND NOT SENSITEVE CKD (COMPLETELY KNOCKED DOWN) ITEM OF SCANNING FOR FULLY BODY USE. YOU PLEASE DO EVERYTHING HE SAYS IS A VERY MEANING MAN AND NOBODY CAN DO BETTER THAN HIM TO SAY TO THE GOVERNMENT...

        oh what the hell. Lost patience. And don't want to delete so much typed stuff. I laugh, you laugh and we all go and peek at 419eater.com. Time better spent.

        Cheers.

  8. Michael 28
    Boffin

    Deja -vu

    wasn't this covered in the "x-rayted" calendar article??

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/06/23/medical_calendar/

  9. Anonymous John
    Unhappy

    Title

    When they aren't scamming you, they're scanning you.

  10. Winkypop Silver badge
    Stop

    Next...

    Nigerian scan porn?

  11. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Pirate

    How to avoid the Nigerian issue....

    In the old days you simply paid a bribe to skip right through the whole imigration process if you were late for your flight. I can't see Lagos having become miraculously virtuous in the last few years, so I assume there will be some official at the head of the queue saying "Dash me!" - that is the person to hand your pasport with the US$100 bill in, and I'm sure you'll be guided to the non-perv queue or even just waved through to the gate.

  12. jake Silver badge

    The real question is ...

    Would these things have actually caught the totally-pants bomber in the first place? Methinks the security staff are looking for anything other than inflammable knickers ...

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They breed tham smart there

    "simply nip outside the scanner monitoring room to clock the passenger queueing to enter the machine, then rush back in to admire her assets"

    Never would have thought of something so revolutionary myself...

  14. The BigYin

    We are not...

    ...surprised in the least. And you can be sure it happens elsewhere too.

  15. spiny norman
    Black Helicopters

    Alcan

    Would wearing tin foil underwear foil the scanners?

  16. JaitcH
    Pint

    Time for that embroidered underwear

    Metallic thread embroidered strategically on to under wear prevents governments checking out your assets. I use the Canadian Maple-leaf as there are many high coverage areas. The Union Jack has more see-through areas.

    When the skin-radar first came out I bought a jock strap and lined the outside of the 'cup' with thin lead film. It caused a few extra questions but I was never required to remove them for inspection. The metallic thread works just as well and is more comfortable to wear.

    You could even post appropriate messages to the perverts made from this thread on the wider parts of the underwear.

    1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
      Stop

      RE: Time for that embroidered underwear

      Sorry to burst your bubble, but the article states they are perving at good looking females. I'm pretty sure you'd get a wave through.

  17. JaitcH
    Pint

    Time for that underwear embroidered with metallic thread

    Metallic thread embroidered strategically on to under wear prevents governments checking out your assets. I use the Canadian Maple-leaf as there are many high coverage areas. The Union Jack has more see-through areas.

    When the skin-radar first came out I bought a jock strap and lined the outside of the 'cup' with thin lead film. It caused a few extra questions but I was never required to remove them for inspection. The metallic thread works just as well and is more comfortable to wear.

    You could even post appropriate messages to the perverts made from this thread on the wider parts of the underwear.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    I bet he will

    "A "shocked" Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria official told the paper: “It is a breach of privacy. I will deal with it immediately I return to Lagos.”"

    To check out the action for himself

  19. Christoph

    Not the only risk

    If you go for an X-ray for medical reasons, there's a big sign asking you to tell the operator beforehand if there's any chance you might be pregnant.

    If you go for an X-ray so a perv can ogle you, tough luck.

    1. Eddie Edwards
      Thumb Down

      X-ray

      Perv scanner is not an x-ray machine; perv rays are bounced from skin hence the perv aspect. X-rays penetrate the womb.

  20. VinceH
    Joke

    Letters, Digits.

    Good evening Dragons.

    I am willing to sell a 20% stake in my business for £50,000. The idea is an incredibly simple one - and the name should speak for itself: Airport PPV.

  21. LinkOfHyrule
    Big Brother

    Remember Folks!

    Perv scanners will not store images. They do not even have the required hardware to do so!

    Perv scanners will not be abused by their operatives. You do not need to worry about airport staff looking at your love plumbing.

    Perv scanners are safe. They will not cause you harm and have of course been stringently tested to ensure your personal safety.

    Perv scanners prevent all known forms of terrorism. It's true!

    If you disagree with two or less of the above statements then you are clearly either a terrorist or a paedophile.

    If you disagree with two or more of the above statements then you are clearly both a terrorist and a paedophile!

    Firm and Harsh Regards,

    Your Governmentz.

  22. John Savard Silver badge

    Only One Solution

    The women need to go to one scanner, the men another - and the women's scanner is monitored only by women, the men's scanner only by men. Blurring the face is hardly enough.

    And appropriate criminal penalties, like, say, blinding and lobotomy, should be considered.

    1. PsYcHoTiC_MaDmAn

      but what if their gay......

      if the objection is that someone might be sexually aroused by the images, your solution means feck all.

      however IMO these are completely redundant, they see through to th skin, thats all, if your going to blow yourself up, having the bomb surgically implanted is hardly an issue. and would undoubtedly be undetectable by "bomb sniffers" as well

    2. jg007
      Grenade

      @John Savard

      this of course assumes that no reason for the men to want to check men out or women to want to check women out #fail

      who gives a frag, 3-4 sad bored people checking somebody out is hardly the end of the world, I mean come on people just because your doctor is a doctor does that mean that he wont enjoy himself sometimes , this kind of crap article just fuels those anoying dail mail / reg readers who like to foam at the mouth and get all excited when they talk about conspiracies or government invasion of privacy.

    3. Argus Tuft

      only problem is

      most of the men I know who are anything to do with airlines would be safer monitoring the womens queue....

    4. bennett_1357
      Paris Hilton

      @John Savard

      You would think that's how it should work, indeed that's how I thought it did work until last week. Travelling through Amsterdam Schiphol to Bangkok - one queue for women one for men.

      Female queue: perv scanner not in operation - usual x-ray scanning of hand luggage and metal detectors for the women. Pat-downs by female security staff.

      Male queue: metal detector NOT in operation, perv scanner in operation and images being viewed by a FEMALE staff member.

      Couldn't quite believe it, not that I was particularly bothered, but imagine the shit storm if this situation had been reversed.

      Paris - because she knows a thing or two about perv scanners......

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

    'Security officials at Nigerian airports are using perv scanners to ogle female passengers "for fun"'

    "for fun" ? Could there be any better (or even slightly plausible) reason ?

    I didn't get where I am today by not err hmm hrrmphh . . .

  24. Chizo Ejindu
    Paris Hilton

    Nigerian officals are famed for their honesty...

    When i was a youngster I went through Lagos airport with my father so i'm well aware of how seriously they take following the rules to the letter :P That particular time my father spent about 10 mins jovially chatting with the immigration official before handing him a saville row tailored shirt. We were swiftly ushered through with no regards to paperwork or anything silly like that. And on the way back he managed to "convince" them to allow him to carry the best part of a gallon of highly flammable palm oil as hand luggage for the flight home :P

    So when the "outraged" offical says he'll go and deal with it what he actually means is he's pissed he didn't think of the idea first, now he's got to go and blackmail the security guards to both extort money and get preferential access to the nudie scans.

    Paris, because you don't need a $100k perv scanner.

  25. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Scanners

    Are the least of anybody's worries when one is in the Lagos airport.

    And the ogling operatives? They will soon grow tired of it.

  26. AgeingBabyBoomer

    Scan proof skids

    http://www.rockyflatsgear.com/

    At least somebody forresaw this...

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