back to article Pope makes central London no-go zone for BT engineers

Based in Central London? Broadband looking a little flaky this afternoon? You better look to heaven for help, as Openreach won't be doing any callouts in the centre of Capital for the foreseeable future due to Pope-related congestion. That apparently is the gospel according to telecoms provider 2Circles, which told customers …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Anonymous Coward

    It's not just the 'net

    Working in the region of Lambeth Palace, and we're getting no post out tonight because of security arrangements.

  2. Greg J Preece

    Missing the point!

    Forget all this holiness, religious debate and BT engineering. What I want to know is - is the old bugger paying the congestion charge?

    1. Test Man
      Thumb Up

      Apparently not

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward


        He seems to be causing more problems and congestion by his visit and he doesn't have to pay the CC ... WTF?! If anything he should have to pay MORE not get away with it

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      He must have some cash in that robe somewhere.

      1. Anonymous Coward

        Influential exemptions

        He must have a friend in high places, to get away with that one!

  3. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    As BT excuses go it's not bad

    Following in their legendary series of ..

    We would open up local ADSL to competitors but we don't have the address of our exchanges.

    We needa subsidy to install ADSL in a village 2mi from Cambridge science park because it wouldn't be commercially viable

    We didn't realise phorm invaded privacy.

    Now we just have - wrong sort of religious leader on the roads.

  4. Code Monkey

    Lazy Bastards

    Any excuse!

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh for Gods' sake.

    Jesus christ, these guys are useless.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      I must stop pontificating.

  6. Anonymous Coward


    As usual, them buggers block modern progress

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    papally approved ISP

    Had a look at that link out of curiosity and thought I'd stumbled onto an advert for a new Zombie flick.

    What with all that drinking my blood and eating my flesh business, all that was missing was BRAAIIIIIIINS.

    1. Tom 35

      You don't need Brains...

      They have a filter!

      The TOS seems to imply that the filter is not very good though...

  8. penguin slapper

    Pope in London for 2 days

    BT unable to perform for a week?

    BT - Bloody Typical

    1. David 45

      No go

      BT has been unable to perform for YEARS!

  9. Arbuthnot Darjeeling

    I rather think you'll find

    their expecting not to be needed - the Pope is quite experienced at wireless communication

  10. Rogerborg

    At least, a back-to-basics pope

    As though it wasn't enough that we're cutting science funding by 40% in honour of his visit, now he's casting us back to the dark (cable) ages wherever he goes. Truly a medieval icon.

  11. MinionZero

    Why I helped slow the Internet yesterday...

    I found it interesting the Internet was a bit flaky yesterday afternoon. In my case, I was helping slow the Internet by seeking any interesting news online that avoided having to watch the blanket sycophantic TV coverage! (That's apparently because I'm now considered a Nazi according to the hypocritical old fart on the news promoting his cult following two faced christian values of empathy, wide spread child abuse and understanding to all but any groups he doesn't like, including it seems us atheists who are now Nazis, after all he would know, seeing as he was once a Nazi!).

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    papal visit

    Somebody said "wrong sort of religious leader"....but why disrupt so many services and inconvenience so many people for any religious leader? We must not be biased in any way.

    Where do all the wars come from?

    At least the taxpayer isn't being asked to pay for this nonsense...are we?

  13. ian 22

    So the network outage...

    ... is an act of God?

    Mine's the one with the Rig-Veda in the pocket.

  14. Anonymous Coward

    Um, I might be a dumb European

    We don't stop traffic for politicians, stars, the wealthy , the poor..

    So why should we afford this old twat such a lot of reverence?

    > He doesn't speak for God - the bible states clearly that nobody on earth is receiving personal messages, in fact even the disciples didn't get to speak to JC after he ascended.

    > He openly approves of pedophilia - witness his inability to keep his own clergy away from the altar boys and runaways; reshuffling his 'misguided servants of God' to different areas when they're caught

    > He openly discriminates against women - witness the ease with which women are ordained to the ministry.

    > He openly glorifies himself above God - witness the pomp and ceremony that accompanies his every move

    > He openly makes himself 'part of this world, having earthly bindings and trappings'. Yes that's from the bible folks; witness the opulence he surrounds himself with

    > among many other points.

    So again, I ask.. why should he get such reverence??

    1. Willum08
      Thumb Up


      Well Said Sir - I was heartily sick of the whole bloated proceedings and total over-coverage on TV. At times, nearly 50% of every news program was devoted to this fiasco. Now he's gone back to his bunker in the vatican - good riddance...........

  15. hplasm

    Not so bad-

    Just pray your connection doesn't go down.

  16. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

    Don't blame BT

    I can't believe I'm saying thing, but don't blame BT.

    If you want to blame anyone, blame the police & the spooks who are trying to keep their jobs by perpetuating the myth that there's a terrorist cell living and plotting in every street in the UK.

    There's no need to force BT, etc to not work in an area for a week. Sure, close the roads for the day the guy is in town, but stopping people working a week before hand ? It's just scaremongering.

    1. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      At Last!!!

      "...blame the police & the spooks who are trying to keep their jobs by perpetuating the myth that there's a terrorist cell living and plotting in every street in the UK...."

      Someone who has accurately seen the reason for this post-cold-war mess....

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Hahaha - You know nothing

      It's far worse than that.

      We were visited by Prince Pip at work;

      Secure MOD Facility - Miles from the edge of a camp patrolled by armed soldiers

      A week before, the toilets were thoroughly cleaned and searched, then locked up.

      If I needed the bog, I had to travel a fair distance.

      Not to mention the other (some more sensible) security arrangements.

      I'd imagine the Government is probably a little paranoid about being 'the ones wot let the pope be murdered'!

      Sad thing is, once in a while, the 'paranoid' security arrangements do make a difference. Not often AFAIK but it does happen.

  17. Andy Taylor

    Manhole covers?

    I'd imagine part of the issue will be that all the manholes, I mean access covers in the area will have been inspected and sealed by the bomb squad. No one will be allowed to open them until after his holiness has boarded the plane home.

    1. Alexander Vollmer

      Thats the unreasonable reason

      Same procedure on every official visit of the Pope, the US President or G8/G20 meetings. But terrorists knew about this and use RC vehicles to access the ducts and hide their mobile explosion devices deep inside until the seal is placed, so they knew they can move it back and its safe cause no one would break the seal. Like a terrorist with a TSA pass key can place a bomb in every luggage without notice, cause he can open it without damage.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    1. 2 Circles are telling the truth and BT are making pathetic excuses.

    2. 2 Circles have had a falling out with BT who are refusing to do any work for them and 2 Circles are lying.

    3. Both 2 Circles and BT are telling the truth and those lovely blokes in the anti-terror police have told BT they're not allowed to do any work in the capital for a week. I wouldn't put it past them. After all haven't they spent much of the last twenty-four hours arresting Algerian street cleaners and searching in vein for the massive weapons cache that these "terrorists" intended to use against the pope. Of course they were acting on information from a reliable source.

  19. Anonymous Coward


    Openreach... 2 Circles... BT...

    Once upon a time it was the GPO and a Postmaster General was in charge.

    Now Nu-Nu-Labour-Conservatives+Liberals are planning to sell off the last remaining fragment

    1. NX1977


      BT hasn't been state owned for over 25 years.

      I think you mean royal mail ;)

  20. JaitcH

    This guy isn't even a head of a real state: I rhought Henry 8th booted them out?

    What's with this special treatment for this paedophile condoning old reprobate?

    The Vatican, on a 10 acre patch of downtown Rome, came about because Mussolini, who was an avowed atheist, wanted to become dictator, which would not be possible without the assistance of the powerful fascists who were Catholic. Pius XI was in a good position to prevent the fascists seizing he commanded that priests not support the Catholic Party in an election. In effect this pope repudiated the Catholic Party.

    Mussolini formed a government on October 28, 1922. A deal was cut. The Catholic Church would support the Fascist Party. In return Mussolini would restore the ancient privileges of the Catholic Church. On February 21, 1923, a cardinal said Mussolini "had been chosen to save the nation and restore her fortune."

    Mussolini signed the Lateran Treaty in 1929 which made Vatican City a separate, independent state, recognized Catholicism as the state-sponsored religion, and gave the Church 750 million lire in compensation for the Vatican's loss of sovereignty.

    A UN judge argues that the Catholic Church is the only religion permitted under international law to claim the privileges of statehood and its leaders immunity from civil or criminal action. See: < >.

    This interruption to London's life is like Tesco's putting on a parade for Waitrose given that official church is the C of E. Britain is kowtowing to a Fascist creation against whose principle Britain lost thousands of lives fighting.

    And whose gong to pick up the costs of £1.5 million for thousands of Plods to protect this guy who is riding around in a armoured car because he is so popular!

    I think Britain's priorities are a little mixed up. It's bad enough losing InterNet, what happens if the electricity goes down, a gas or water pipe leaks? Wait seven days?

  21. Glenn Charles

    Pope's no-go zone

    Just figure it's Purgatory.


  22. Nathan 13

    Bugger it

    If my net connection goes down how will I get my fix of young boys... says the pope

  23. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Stay behind after class

      McMahon, see me afterwards.

      BT Retail do the broadband that the customer sees

      BT Wholesale allegedly do the broadband service delivery infrastructure from exchange to Internerd.

      BT Openreach do the copper between exchange and punter (and, occasionally, fibre too).

      BT Internet haven''t existed for years.

    2. Christopher W

      Not quite

      BT Openreach = physical network, "final mile". LLU ISPs pay regular access charges for SMPF and MPF access.

      BT Wholesale = provide the actual backhaul and broadband services (their IPStream products and, for aggregate access, Central and Central Plus services, are used by ISPs)

      BT Internet = the donuts to whom you pay your £25 per month for dismal quality service.

      You're welcome.

      Mine's the one with the LLU BE Broadband + telephone service bill in the pocket

  24. skeptical i

    I thought I heard $12 million earlier today ...

    ... as the cost of security and whatnot for Pinata Hat's visit, half to be paid by the vatican and the rest to be paid by, ahhh, that'd be you good folks.

    And no, it appears to be much worse.

    Such a bigot, such a waste, such a shame.

  25. JohnG

    Is this what is meant by ...... Act of God?

  26. Anonymous Coward

    "Manhole covers" - confirmed

    I can confirm that when His Holiness, Lord "Two Resignations" Mandelson (or some equally pointless diginitary, I forget) visited my former place of work a year or two ago, the manhole covers were sealed well in advance with fragile blue goo, so that any tampering would be obvious and could be investigated.

  27. O

    Another popularity boost for Catholicism

    Maybe someone should start printing t-shirts like this. Or, even better, The Reg could add it to their collection of post pictures.

  28. Anonymous Coward

    Made me late home...

    I work near Westminster and like to walk home across town. I could tell my wife something not heard since the time of Henry VIII. "Sorry darling, there's a Pope in my way..."

  29. Matt_W

    Everytime I read...

    ... Two Circles - I think .. "two chances"

  30. Winkypop Silver badge


    Papal Presence Protocol ?

  31. MalcontentUK

    BT or not BT?

    He's only in town for a day and a half FFS, and he isn't travelling down every street in Central London - three small areas of the centre only ( ). Why can't they provide service to the rest of the city that's not affected? Or did they give everyone the day off too so they can stand around gawping? An advantage to hiring atheists then - they don't need days off for religious holidays, apocalypses and 2nd comings; work 'em round the clock all year long. Or maybe the pope mobile will be accompanied by a procession of 100 BT Vans?

    I was in Central London this morning; got completely lost but had no trouble driving up and down all sorts of random streets all around the areas within the security zone. If I can do it, why can't BT send its engineers out to get lost all over London too?

  32. Smudge@mcr

    Going underground

    This is not news. 48 hours before ANY major event the Anti terror police seal all manholes, Post Boxes, PCP cabinets, bins etc and no one is allowed to open them. Same thing happens at all the party conferences, TUC, CBI etc

    This has been the case since Brighton years ago.

  33. Anonymous Coward

    Searching in vein...

    > "After all haven't they spent much of the last twenty-four hours arresting Algerian street cleaners and searching in vein for the massive weapons cache that these "terrorists" intended to use against the pope. "

    The clots must have had a bloody small weapons cache, then, probably hidden in an artery of the Thames...

  34. Tigra 07


    "while the Swiss Guards try to stop Peter Tatchell from arresting the pontiff"


    Someone has to though!

    It was brilliant when he tried to arrest Mugabe in London, such a shame noone else helped while the bodyguards beat him off.

    There's another joke in there somewhere about Homophobic Mugabe's guards beating Tatchell off ;-]

  35. Smudge@mcr
    Gates Horns


    The Popes Visit £12,000,000

    Aid to Pakistan £80,000,000

    U.K. VAT to increase to 20% after Chrismas


    1. Tigra 07

      Where did you get that figure?

      No way will the pope's visit cost only £12 million

      It cost more than that last time and i've already heard it mentioned that it's close to £100 million this time

      1. Smudge@mcr


        The British Taxpayer will fund £12,000,000 out of the total cost.

        Its our way of saying thank-you

        1. Tigra 07

          RE: Smudge@mcr

          Seems very unfair that i just paid for a man to take a holiday here, who shelters paedophiles from justice, said people like me are evil and have an evil agenda, and made out laws that stop gays/lesbians being fired and kicked out of their homes for being who they are are limiting the rights of christians.

          That is my 2 cents on why this disgraceful old man should have been arrested on entering the country

          1. Smudge@mcr

            I agree

            I was being sarcastic. (sorry)

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like