back to article 1 in 10 Americans prefer colonoscopies to PC security

A third of Americans see nothing wrong with being connected to the web while on honeymoon, but would balk at hooking up during a wedding, a security firm has claimed. The survey, sponsored by PCTools, also found that more than one in 10 Americans would rather get a colonoscopy that spend time cleaning up their computer. The …


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  1. Si 1

    Hmm, delete some files or shove a probe up my arse...

    I think I would have to go with reinstalling Windows and restoring stuff from backup. It might be a pain in the arse, but at least it's not a camera in the arse.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That 12%

    did they really pefer a colonoscopy or were they just the interviewer where to stick thier survey?

  3. Elmer Phud

    Well . . .

    This is the place where the phase 'Oh, you're so anal' originated.

    And 'Asswipe' and and and . . .

    'Hmm, let me see. Clean the screen or shove a scope up me bum? Simples! '

  4. TeeCee Gold badge

    3/4 of adults......

    ...can't be arsed to clean the registry?

    The most suprising thing here is that would imply that 25% of 'em know what the registry is........

    I suspect that the correct conclusion for this feedback is: "People given a question which they haven't got a fucking clue what it means are considerably more likely to answer 'No' than 'Yes'."

  5. Anonymous Coward

    Thanks a bunch you lot!

    "attitudes to marriage, the net and video-assisted anal intrusion"

    And the difference between these three would be?

    I now have to go down to the Support desk and ask for some screen and keyboard cleaner as they are now covered in my lunch!!!

    Brilliant stuff!!

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge


      If you can't tell the difference between marriage and video-assisted anal intrusion, you'd better tell your girlfriend now.

      Before she finds out the hard way.

  6. Anonymous Coward

    Colonoscopies aren't that bad...

    You usually get drugs.

    The prep you have to take the day before is the killer.

    1. Ian Stephenson

      Ah yes...

      Agent Picolax we have a mission for you!

      1. Anonymous Coward


        A reader?

        1. Ian Stephenson
          Thumb Up


          But it was linked from another forum =>

  7. Steve 26
    Thumb Up

    Hardly a surprise

    As anyone who's watched a few porn films will agree, we all know they prefer it up the ar$e.

    Mine's a thumbs up, obviously.

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Not surprising at all

      Anyone who's actually had a girlfriend and gotten to third base knows just how different a girlfriend and a pornstar are.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Horns

    lol wut

    "three quarters of adults would do almost anything else to avoid spending time cleaning up their system's registry"

    Don't you mean four quarters of adults? Seriously, who likes cleaning the Registry? It's like playing Operation, only instead of a buzzer going off when you touch the wrong bit, your computer deletes all of your files and refuses to turn on ever again. Not to mention you have to get balls-deep in a hierarchy of cryptic folder names longer than a garden hose before you can even find the bit that you have to change to break your computer in the first place. Pain in the ass.

  9. N2 Silver badge

    & I thought

    The Americns were anal about security

  10. Kubla Cant Silver badge

    The surprising thing...

    is that 90% of Americans know what a colonoscopy is.

    Or did the pollster explain it (with diagrams)?

  11. heyrick Silver badge

    43% would rather change a nappy

    ...can be done in a couple of minutes, double that if an icky mess. Now, cleaning up the rubbish from a neglected computer, on the other hand...

  12. Cameron Colley

    I never understood fear of hte registry.

    Back when I could be arsed messing with Windows systems I'd happily add, delete and modify registry values manually, have even done it on Windows Mobile without any ill effects.

    How do all these people manage to screw things up by changing the registry?

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      The you have never

      witnessed the beauty of the ini file.

  13. Thomas 18

    doctors and dentists

    They exist for a reason. It's reassuring to go to dentists or doctors and have an exam and get the all fine, even if you do have something at least it isn't going untreated. If they asked whether you'd rather have your spouse jam something up there for kicks then I bet the percentage would be lower... although...

  14. Anonymous Coward

    45% have something to be ashamed of their family finding,..

    Now now, its perfectly natural and northing to be ashamed about.

  15. Dave 142

    not a surprise

    at least a colonoscopy is over quickly, cleaning a Windows registry takes much much longer

  16. Paul Wells
    Thumb Down

    do you die if you don't have a secure PC?

    Having colon cancer is more serious than having a virus on a PC. Been there, done that, got the scars.

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      It is indeed

      Kudos to you for having beaten the odds.

  17. Anonymous Coward

    Not surprised

    That 90% of readers actually believe PC Tools idiotic drivel.

    Anyone else notice a huge increase in bullshit survey results lately?

    Seems there are more and more attention whores are posting more and more meaningless BS or common knowledge crap.

  18. Jean-Luc

    what's a registry???

    Mine are the not-M$ computers. Except for work, but those get cleaned by others.

  19. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    I don't want to...

    clean viruses and crap off my computer OR do the registry. And I don't run Windows so I don't have to.

    If I did have an Ubuntu install go to hell somehow, I can either tell Synaptic to reinstall all installed packages, or even back up the package list, do a reinstall from a LiveCD (so I know I have uncompromised packages) then tell it to reinstall the package list I saved. The use of packages really makes a full reinstall painless if worst comes to worst, compared to the usual way in Windows of reinstalling then having to reinstall all these apps one by one (I know that CAN be automated, either by setting up .MSIs for all the apps or ghosting, but most people do not do that.)

    I've always found this an odd contradicition, people who do not want to run anything but Windows, think Windows is great while SIMULTANEOUSLY complaining about how bad the maintenance is and how they either hate working on it, or hate paying someone else to do it.

  20. George 24

    Not surprising

    if you consider that over 50% of Americans voted for George W Bush....... TWICE...

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