back to article Naked woman demands cab ride to Michigan

A 29-year-old woman who was refused a cab ride from Louisiana to Michigan responded by whipping off her kit on the back seat and then stealing the taxi, the Times-Picayune reports. Police mugshot of Jennifer Gille, Photo: Covington Police Department Jennifer Gille, 29, (pictured) caught a cab from a motel in Covington at …

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  1. Anomalous Cowturd
    WTF?

    He did WHAT???

    > The cab driver whisked the naked refusenik to Covington police station, but made the mistake of popping inside to get assistance, at which point she stole his cab.

    Presumably because the prick left the keys in the ignition. WTF???

    Nice looking girl too! Perhaps he should have done what any sensible bloke would have done and applied the "Ride for a ride" principle. Petrol (gas) is cheap in the United States of Terrorist Botherers.

    Might take a bit of explaining to the Missus as to why he's been away for three days mind!

    1. Blake St. Claire

      Gas (petrol) may be cheap

      But 1000 miles works out to about $200 in gas -- each way. That's assuming that the cab is the typical Ford Victoria, former police cruiser, that probably gets 15 miles per USGallon on the highway.

      I don't have first hand experience with this, but $400 for a roll in the hay seems a bit steep if you were to ask me.

      (And I'm disappointed that Lester didn't work any double entendrés in that Ms. Bee could explain for us.)

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Jaruzel
        FAIL

        The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

        You mean Billy Connolly's wife, the clinical psychologist, and writer of his biography?

    3. G-HAM 2000
      Stop

      Re: He did WHAT???

      Shouldn't "sensible bloke" have said "desperate old sicko" in that post? Driving 1000 miles and back, potentially losing your job and/or wife/girlfriend, as well as getting an STD and/or being stabbed by some deranged drunken woman doesn't sound like a particularly sensible idea.

      1. Anomalous Cowturd
        Joke

        @G-HAM 2000

        I take it you don't know any taxi drivers...

        Perhaps I should have used this icon, to make it easier for you!

        No "Ironic" icon... Sarah!!!

      2. perlcat
        Pint

        Not to mention...

        She may have been drunk at the moment, but eventually she would sober up and realize that either she had to "pay" for the "ride" OR scream rape/kidnap.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    of all the stories on the net..

    I know it's bootnotes, but I would have more expected the story of a vulture crashing into a helicopter here, then a random 'nude-cab-ride' story.

    especially without pictures.

    or playmobil re-enactment.

  3. Titus Technophobe

    Age old problem

    It's the age old story, woman flashes her Bulgarians in an honest attempt to get a lift home, has her pitiful advances spurned and gets dumped off with the local constabulary. Just the sort of thing you see night after night round here in the towns and cities.

    You can only feel sorry for her really, I blame Gordon Brown.

    1. Code Monkey

      "I blame Gordon Brown"

      Impressive Brown-loathery there, Titus.

  4. Tom_

    Something doesn't add up

    He left her in the back seat of his cab and went into the police station.

    She stole his cab.

    They found her in the cab 'still in the back seat'.

    Hmmm.

    1. Piezor
      Coat

      Are you implying......

      ......that the lady in question got into his taxi demanding a ride to Michigan (obviously a result of the alcohol consumption) and that this gentleman, seeing this as a golden opportunity, stripped her starkers and (possibly) smashed the granny out of her.

      He then runs off to the bobby shop down the road and makes the whole taxi stealing thing up?

      "She's crazy guv....she just got naked and nicked my taxi.....and look, she's spilled mayonnaise on the back seat. Someone's going to have to pay for that."

      Surely not.

      1. Lush At The Bar
        Coffee/keyboard

        "smashed the granny out of her"

        You Sir.............

      2. Anomalous Cowturd
        Boffin

        Smashed the granny out of her?

        Is this a new euphemism that I should now commit to memory, or some sort of sick incestuous old people's S&M thing?

        Inquisitive minds etc. etc.

    2. mamsey

      She was inebriated...

      I cannot tell a lie, I stole the car and drove her round the corner for a laugh!

  5. J-Wick
    Happy

    I've had worse...

    Leaving a motel, too? Classy - just how I like 'em...

  6. Rogerborg

    Correction in the charge: "movable vehicle"

    Although now I'm intrigued what they'd charge you with if you stole an immovable vehicle.

    1. F111F
      Stop

      Grand Theft, Auto...

      And I'd like my car back, please.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Boffin

      If it was immovable

      ...how would you steal it?

    3. adrianww

      Charges for immovable vehicle?

      Loitering or possibly some variant of obstructing the highway. Illegal parking perhaps?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Badgers

    Post the Pics!!!

    from the Police Car video...

    or it didnt happen...

    any chance of a Lego rendition of the event ????

  8. Harry
    Happy

    in the cab 'still in the back seat'.

    Must be a back seat driver then ... ?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    I think

    she wanted him to 'take her to Michigan' is a euphemism for er some sexual er activity

    1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

      You have never been to Michigan then?

      No high points there.

      California is another matter

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      narrow escape?

      Is that why the taxi driver drove off when I said, "Take me up the Old Kent Road"... ?

  10. justkyle
    Coat

    In other news...

    Officials have noticed an uptick in the applications for taxi licenses in Louisiana!

    I'll get me coat...

  11. Mark 62

    surprised it hasn't been said...

    And the cabby said, "Got anything smaller?"

  12. Rattus Rattus

    Captain West noted Gille "appeared to be intoxicated"

    Really? I wonder what gave it away?

  13. Graham Bartlett

    @Rattus Rattus

    Yeah, I thought that too.

    One thing I found in the States though. Your average civvie doesn't get irony, so just don't bother. But everyone I met who'd been in the US military, OTOH, did straight-faced irony to a degree which makes us Brits look like Jim Carrey in comparison. This means you really have to know the guy to figure out whether he's subtly taking the piss or whether he actually means it.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Pics...

    ...Or it didn't happen.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    take me to michigan

    would make a very good euphemism for being in a completely f*#ked state

    in which case i suppose the answer should have been "sorry luv, you're already there"

    for alternatives how about " I got completely Detroit'd last night" or perhaps the UK equivalent

    " i was totally Bransholmed out of my skull"

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