back to article US government recruits Paris Hilton

In what is evidently an attempt to mitigate the damage caused by Koran-burning pastors, the US government will attempt to dissuade outraged citizens of the Middle East from joining al-Qaeda by beaming Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears across the Voice of America's airwaves. According to Press Gazette, Splash News …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fighting stupidity with stupidity?

    You can't really win this sort of thing. Burning books is proof of evilness and denouncing it because it might offend the faraway natives would be, what? Hah, weakness! See? The evil western pig-dogs are ALL kinds of bad!

    But maybe celebutardiness will prove effective. As such, it might even turn out to be a smart move. Who knows? If "hearts and minds" won't work....

  2. Nigel Brown

    No title

    On reflection, I think I'd rather don a suicide vest than listen to half an hour of one of these vacuous tarts.

  3. Thomas 18


    Hard to think of a more sinister name than "Voice of America". I'd suggest switching to a more credible title like:

    Propaganda FM

    Re-education Radio

    Uncle sam's super funtime radio show

  4. Graham Bartlett
    Jobs Horns

    Lindsay Lohan illegal?

    And there was me thinking there was nothing good about the Taliban.

    Devil Steve, because I'm sure he could get a horn with the help of that lot.

  5. Anonymous Coward

    Hearts and minds?

    Two to the heart, one to the mind.

    Grenade as no 7.62mm NATO icon

    (Bring back the SLR!)

  6. Anonymous Coward

    Paris Hilton

    Yes, that's the perfect person to use as a representative to cultures who view seeing a woman's face outside of marriage as a religious affront!

  7. Anonymous John

    I thought I was reading the Daily Mash at first.

    I only realised my mistake because of the absence of Professor Henry Brubaker and Helen Archer.

  8. hplasm

    Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears ??!!

    Are they trying to start a war?!!?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton


      ...Battle of the Tit-ans

  9. Ancient Oracle funkie
    Paris Hilton

    Well ...

    ... who'd have thought that fundamental islamists could be persuaded by blonde airheads!

    Paris - well, if she's good enough for them she's good enough for me

    1. El
      Paris Hilton

      Not all airheads are blond

      Kim Kardashian is living proof that brunettes can be airheads too!

  10. Anonymous Coward

    Hang on.

    Is voice of America like a parody, or a comedy radio thing? You can't seriously think that playing talentless and useless airheads to islamic minorities will in anyway give good thoughts on the US. It will only make them realise that hollywood needs a good dose of Anthrax. Twice, to make sure.

    I mean a blonde air head with no use to humanity, someone famous for having big norks and being a reality star with a has been pop strumpet that lived the dream and then buried it with three kids and a shaved head is not going to engender feelings of warmth to anyone.

    1. alwarming

      WAIT.. I think I cracked it!

      I think the underlying reasoing is that it would be hard for anyone to beleive that these "representatives" have the IQ to lie or be manipulative.

  11. JaitcH

    Very inappropriate choice

    Even Paris' grandfather disowned some of her antics and said he was going to re-write his Will.

    Guess the U.S. government is impervious to yet further embarrassment after killing Reuters reporters, imprisoning people without trial for years and extra-judicial kidnapping. This is addition to illegally tapping American's communications without warrant and using presidential orders to kill American citizens without trial.

    Come to think of it, the government and Hilton are perfect bedmates.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    1 girls is having a hissy, so all women are evil?

    "....the US government will attempt to dissuade outraged citizens of the Middle East from joining al-Qaeda..."

    If those "outraged citizens" are stupid enough to join al-Qaeda just because 1 american is having his hissy fit, why sould the sane bother with them. Clearly this is just another nutter banging on.

    I wont be joining the IRA because the tories wish to ruin the country.

    I can see that they are clearly mentally unstable, and I will have to wait till the fickle English realise just how dumb they are, just as happened in the 1990's.

    The 'Islamic' need to realise that extreme actions such as joining al-Qaeda only hurts their cause.

    1. Ian Stephenson
      Big Brother

      ...I wont be joining the IRA because the tories wish to ruin the country.

      Bit late for the Tories to ruin the country.

      Broon's scorched earth policies of the previous 3 years pretty much did that already.

      Now present you ID card and report for nu-liebour re-re-re-education.

  13. David Kelly 2

    Sad Representation

    Its sad that someone thinks the likes of Paris Hilton is a desirable representation of America. This sounds more like a case of sabotage where VoA is attempting to prove America's worst critics are correct.

    Reminds me of the tale where the former USSR actually bought a license to the entire Three Stooges works. The story claims the intent was to claim the Three Stooges represented typical life in America.

    1. El
      IT Angle

      Average Americans

      "The story claims the intent was to claim the Three Stooges represented typical life in America."

      Wait... they don't?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Paris Hilton?

    I came into Paris via Jumbo jets.

    1. El
      Paris Hilton

      Word problem

      Which has had more men in it, Paris Hilton or the Hilton in Paris?

  15. Colin Millar
    Paris Hilton

    I see what they're up to

    As the general said

    "If you grab 'em by the balls their hearts and minds will soon follow"

    Paris was made for this job.

  16. Joe User

    Why they were chosen

    Because Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, and Britney Spears are about as brainless as the audience that Voice of America is trying to reach.

  17. asiaseen


    has obviously realised that you get the best pictures on the wireless (or radio for those under pensionable age).

  18. John Savard Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Not Everyone

    Young, adolescent men in the Islamic world are the most abundant of the targets that al-Qaeda recruiters are looking for. But many of them aren't particularly devout Muslims. So part of the recruiting process is to exploit the frustrations they have with their lives, and get them to withdraw into intense religiosity... and then, afterwards, remind them that the only sure way into Paradise is martyrdom. So, tempting them with the sins of the flesh so that they don't take the first step on this path is actually quite an obvious thing to do.

  19. sredisch

    VOA's side

    According to its Charter, VOA is directed to “present a balanced and comprehensive projection of significant American thought and institutions.” Hollywood, its celebrities and American media are among the United States’ largest institutions and exports. VOA has an obligation to report on it, explain it and give context to it. In the past, VOA has acquired various celebrity, music and Hollywood news programs. Independent research and feedback from our audiences around the world indicate an large interest in American pop culture. The program was viewed and approved by representatives of VOA’s language program services --- people who come from the regions VOA broadcasts are directed. VOA exercises its editorial judgment and production values on each segment and program to be ensure standards are maintained.

    Steve Redisch

    VOA Executive Editor

  20. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    Shouldn't be on at all

    I really don't understand why Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are on the news at all. I don't know anything about Kardashian. Having them on VOA seems pretty inappropriate, as I think they really do show the worst of US culture. And, it does particularly seem bad to air stuff about them to parts of the world where they're not all as liberal about womens rights (to be airheads..) as they are here.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    They got the medium wrong...

    These women are meant to be seen, and most definitely not heard.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Holy Meme-bots, Batman!

    Perhaps Ms. Paris Hilton embodies meme-ness more effectively than anyone. Heck, her very name speaks of memetics - as in memetics comprising a brand new pseudocience of marketing, in an uber-stylish, uber-smart generation of technical supergenii, or simply a revision on long-standing marketing tactics.

    I have no opinion about the decision, itself.

  23. Player_16

    I guess the term 'falling on deaf ears' is a misnomer.

    They don't quite understand english but I pity the translators that have to translate this back.

    It would be like the Monty Python killer joke.

  24. Rhiakath Flanders
    Paris Hilton

    Is dumbness contagious?

    Well, there is hope... If they put all these "celebrities" talking to the middle-east, maybe they'll vegetate in front of tv's, or radio's, or whatever.... I heard dumbness is contagious...

    On the other hand, if they DON'T become vegetables, paris hilton is going to become the prime target for terrorists. They'll stop at nothing to raise the average IQ of the planet. And, you've got to admit, It would raise a lot....

  25. Rhiakath Flanders

    Oh, and one more thing

    Will those celebrities appear wearing burka's? Imagine them watching Paris Hilton with those little pieces of clothing on her.... Appearing in their TV's... are the US just saying "yes, we are a country of sin, please terminate us" ?

    AND, take care of the suicide bombers. I'm sure there are a lot of them still in middle east, happilly walking on the street with their favourite suicide jacket, but there must be a lot of them in the US.

    When they hear what those celebrities have to say, they will assume they have been assigned capital punishment... They will not be able to bear any longer. They will desire HEAVILY to press the button. And so they will... And finally, no more... Death is way better (for them, at least)...

    So, beware when those "commercials" first appear. Stay off the streets

    The US is starting WW3, and is sending their elite platoon ahead.... Make them stupid, and then sell them burgers....

    Grenade for the obvious reasons

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