back to article Apple to reveal musical something on September 1

Fanbois, mark your calendars: Apple has sent out invitations to a music-themed event to take place in San Francisco next Wednesday morning. With customary Cupertinian minimalism, the email message provides no information about what will be announced at the invitation-only event — just the 10:00am starting time and the venue, …

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  1. JaitcH
    Jobs Horns

    iPhans Standby! Your 'great' leader is making another Appearance

    This is Good News for iPhans as they can arrange to be positioned under, or near, a suitable AT&T mast, their multi-hued iLemons glued to their ears, holding their collective breaths for The Word.

    No doubt The Word will not include any news as to when Jobs will fix Lemon 4 defects, iOS defects, etc. as an earlier The Word declared they did not exist and iPhans always believe The Word from the lips of their Leader, Brother Job.

    1. Goat Jam
      Paris Hilton

      You sound a tad bitter Jaitch?

      Sand get in your panties again?

    2. Danington the Third
      Grenade

      I would be offended by this but...

      I was using macs since you were in yer dad's ballbag, so I tend not to classify myself into the greater mass of 'mac users'.

      I do like their stuff though, and it is fun to follow the anonouncements, see what's out and all that.

      1. Mark Aggleton

        Fun?

        To follow an announcement (of any sort in reality)? Nuff said.

      2. Mike Flugennock
        Thumb Up

        With you there, man...

        I, too, have been using Macs since forever (early '85) but have been anything but a Jobs "Fanboy". I still remember the sudden application memory bloat following the introduction of the IIcx, at a time when SIMMs cost not just an arm and a leg, but both arms and both legs. Greedy bastards.

        1. StooMonster
          Pint

          Nostalgia

          Loved my IIcx to pieces, until IIci with it's 32-bit "clean" ROM came along; although never liked IIci's integrated graphics with shared system memory (plus ca change) and ran it with a dedicated GPU anyway. Wanted a IIfx for the speed -- 40MHz, woot -- but it had a reputation for instability.

          System 6.0.7

          Happy days.

    3. Player_16

      You're probably right.

      No doubt The Word will not include any news on repairs that are needed... only upgrades like maybe iOS 4.0.3 -that's part of that RDF he projects.

    4. Pavlov's obedient mutt
      FAIL

      JaitcH, Honey..

      if you want to be the next Webster Freaky you have to be:

      a) original

      b) rabid

      c) entertaining

      d) slightly unhinged and detached from reality

      You just sound vaguely moronic and bitter

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Title

        It seems that Apple programming is so convoluted that it must have been designed by Xzibit.

        Yo dawg I heard you like announcements so I made an announcement about an announcement so you can iJerk while you iJobs.

        Seriously though, the childishness is annoying. An adult would make the announcement through a press release and be done with it. Stever J has to run around saying "GUESS WHAT, guess what, guess what, guess what, GUESS WHAT... haha I'm not telling until next week". It's like watching a group of five year olds.

    5. Frank Bough
      FAIL

      Did she turn you down AGAIN?

      poor sap.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      Every time

      Regular as clockwork, Webster's more boring and ill-informed little brother droning on, in any story even tangentially associated with Apple, or any of their competitors.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    waiting for the next gen iPod touch

    i also waiting for the next gen iPod touch. I love my apple tv, and have ripped dozens of seasons of tv shows and hundreds of movies by aneesoft video converter for instant streaming.

  3. Adrian Esdaile
    Coat

    Pretty clear to me...

    They've patented the 'stringed wooden box for production of music' ie, the Guitar, and it is now called the iGuitar. It works much better than the old ones, but it won't play G# for some weird reason.

    All your instrument are belong to Apple.

    OK, I going! I going!

    1. Wrenchy
      Linux

      re: Pretty clear to me...

      Won't play G#... ROFL!

      Good one.

  4. Eddy Ito
    Coat

    Judging from the pic

    It's an iCoustic guitar.

    The one with a igil in the pocket, thanks

  5. John Tserkezis

    Yawn.

    That is all.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    Could it be?

    Has Apple invented radio? Or perhaps cable television? There's no telling what they've invented this time!

    Oh boy oh boy oh boy - I can't wait!

    1. Ascylto
      Big Brother

      Don't be silly ...

      We all KNOW cable television and radio were invented by Microsoft in their Innovations Department!

      Oh no ... they scrapped them!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Nooo!

        They didn't scrap them, they just couldn't make them work

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Title

      Better yet! They've teamed up with Al Gore to invent the iNternet!

      Next year, iPants! iPants are designed like no pants ever before. They are new and magical. They have a pocket shaped like an iPad right in the front crotch area, which makes them a new and magical product, not a rip off of existing products.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      it's even better

      they invented the Jinnan Ton'ix which is water served at room temperature.

  7. Jeremy 2
    Heart

    Have you thought about...

    ...turning up dressed as three Cardinals? They'll never expect it and the element of surprise might strike fear in their hearts help you sneak inside in a ruthlessly efficient manner.

    So, anyway, erm... Apple have announced an announcement. I can't wait.

    1. Frank Bough
      Dead Vulture

      No,

      Apple haven't announced an announcement, they've sent out invites to an event that may well be a product or service launch. It's the press (in this case the knicker-wetting denizens of Vulture central) that tuns this simple invite into the hype machine that they can then endlessly bemoan and speculate upon.

    2. Mike Flugennock
      Coat

      Fear, surprise...

      ...ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Jobs, and nice red uniforms -- d'ahh, shit.

  8. CmdrX3

    ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm sure whatever it is, it will be "magical and revolutionary" and yada yada yada, and it will sell millions because the same millions that buy all the other "magical and revolutionary" yada yada yada will go out and buy this as well. Then those same millions will once again attempt to look down on those who don't have one and the only reason they try to diss the latest "magical and revolutionary" yada yada yada is simply because they can't afford one.

    So as the title of my post says - ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Player_16

      And then...

      ...the Apple bashers will come along and spew the same old diatribe of 'over priced yada yada yada', not enough grunt, missing features, 'Hey, my ( ~ ) has been doin' that for years yada yada yada'. Then those same millions will once again attempt to look up to those who do have one and the only reason they try to applaud the latest "magical and revolutionary" yada yada yada is simply because they CAN afford one.

  9. jeffo

    Meanwhile from Microsoft....

    At least when you use Apple kit, you do occasionally get something announced. Oh wait, no, Microsoft have the *Kin phone, oh no, they scrapped it. But there's the Zune HD, oh no, never made it to Europe, scrapped as well.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Usable version of ios4 on iphone 3G

    ...would be nice

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Ooohhh....

    ...maybe it's a plectrum in the shape of an apple. Yours for $/£29.99. Come with free RSI due to it's aesthetical, but utterly impracticle design.

    It'll sell millions and be on the BBC website for weeks on how amazing it is.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Is it...

      ...called the iPluck?

  12. Nipsirc

    All this music stuff from Apple...

    ...isn't it sailing a bit close to the wind with regard to their deal with Apple Corp? I thought the deal was that Apple could use the word Apple as long as it had no connection with music (and I presume that Apple Corp didn't go into the designer computer market). Seems Apple are getting more and more embroiled in music - but I guess they did invent it, so fair's fair.

    1. Richard 116

      Maybe...

      ...they've solved that by buying Apple Corp? Beatles albums on iTunes?

    2. Colin Miller
      Jobs Horns

      Apple V. Apple

      Na, they're /buying/ Apple Corps. It's the only way to end the legal spat.

      1. Mike Hanna

        I...

        ...was gionna suggest the Beatles on iTunes thing. Yoko Ono is a dick though, so she's likely to announce it the day before on her blog :)

        I'm hoping for a new iPod touch, cos my son wants an iPhone for Christmas. He's stopped playing his DS and spends more time playing games on my phone, so that'd be a quick present sorted.

    3. Rolf Howarth

      Apple Corps

      Very old news. Apple have long since resolved their legal spat with the Beatles and bought all the trademark rights to "Apple" off them, for a large and undiscosed fee no doubt, to the extent that Apple Corps now has to license the name back off them! That's why Apple Computer Inc changed their name to plain Apple Inc.

  13. John Riddoch

    iPod

    Probably an iPod refresh - I'd been holding off on refreshing my iPod until the nanos came with enough storage for my music collection (i.e. my CD collection ripped to MP3) but they've been stuck at 16GB for ages.

    Now I've got a 32GB flash card in my phone I don't really need another MP3 player... :P

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Ilife 2010/2011

    The guitar could be the garageland symbolism...maybe a ilife refresh? ilife 09 is getting a bit stale now.

    Wish they'd stop shipping itunes with ilife too - it's a royal arse pain and completely unnecessary since it's a free download. Iweb especially needs a proper boot up the arse.

  15. Jon Press

    personae non grata

    That would be personae non gratae.

    El Reg and His Jobsworth may not agree but that's no excuse for the nouns and adjectives to fall out.

    1. VeganVegan
      Joke

      personae non gratin, perhaps?

      Yes, I am an ingrate (bites the hand and all that).

      1. Steven Knox
        Coat

        Personae non gratin?

        I prefer my personae au gratin, tyvm.

  16. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    I'm sure the Reg could sneak in

    Buy a few pints for one of the journos with an invite, then get them to open the toilet window, and climb on in. There, Robert's your father's brother.

    You might have to do some mucking about with paper and photos to knock up a convincing pass to dangle round your neck, but an organisation that can make a space-plane* out of paper ought to be able to manage that.

    ______________

    *Hyperbole for comic effect is acceptable under advertising law, paper planes can go down as well as up, the PARIS product is 'test-pending', we make no guarantee of technical competence from beer-sodden journalists, your home may be at risk if you do not keep up the repayments.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Might just be a new iteration of Logic

    It's about the right time of year, and the guitar would make sense. I'd be mildly surprised as they don't really seem to bother with launch events for their 'pro' apps, but you never know.

    1. pete23
      Jobs Halo

      Or GarageBand

      Or something.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    More Abort / Retry / Fail

    Nice to see the Wintards getting stuck in before anything has actually been released - by the company they seem to despise but are always drawn to.

    Envy is a terrible thing but I'm told theres a sale at PC world next week - See you there!!!!

    1. Mad Dave
      Linux

      Of course

      Every PC has to run a copy of windows ...

    2. Greg J Preece

      That'd be the PC World...

      ..that now sells an awful lot of Macs to its customers, then?

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Have you considered.....

    .... having a staff member create a "tech site" , perhaps one where you can run stories/articles you wont do here?

    If no connection was made between that site and reg, then perhaps whomever you have running it may get an invite and they can turn over all notes to you??

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    New range of iRollneck?

    All in black with a "kick me hard" label already attached to the back. Only available in anorexic size.

  21. Marc 25
    Thumb Down

    no new(ish) software released for a while...

    garageband overhaul or garageband on ios4.

    boring.com

  22. Doug Glass
    Go

    Dashboard Ornament

    A singing bobble-headed plastic Jobs for the dashboard of your car.

    "I don't care if it rains or freezes

    'Long as I got my plastic Stevies

    Riding on the dashboard of my car.

    Through my trials and tribulations

    And my travels through the nations

    With my plastic Stevies I'll go far."

    1. ThomH Silver badge

      Would be more useful than the OS X Dashboard

      That being a feature to file alongside the transparent menu bar under keynote material that added no value to anything. And is it because I have so many Apple devices that I can see what a usability joke CoverFlow is?

      Anyway, I'm hoping for something interesting in the realm of the Apple TV as it strikes me that if Apple hadn't done something interesting with the tablet computer and with the mobile phone then probably nobody else was going to.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Jobs to announce life on other worlds maybe?

    Obama was no1 but due to Jobian popularity, now he is. And they already have ipods.. iUfo to travel between worlds maybe. Playing his apple guitar?

    Sorry I digress.....

    Anything else will be boring and on the news websites for years (yawns) to come.....

  24. Witty username
    Thumb Up

    Perhaps

    www.orangeamps.com

    they are going to compete with them?

    "the new apple iAmplifer". Only plays indie and starbucks rock. Or it soley does high gain metal. "the iMosh. Circle pits made simple!"

  25. Katt

    Are you ready to be told the next thing you simply must have

    My bet is on iClothes... obviously you can only see them if your cool enough. Can you see them apple sheep? You can!? Fantastic, that'll be $300 please..

  26. richard 69
    FAIL

    and cue the....

    'beatles on itunes' stories in 10, 9, 8....

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmmm

    If Samsung made a similar anouncment, without any details, would anyone but some bored tech journalist turn up?

    If I had to guess I'd go for them anouncing that they had invented a subsciption music service for IPhone and IPod Touch. Download all you want for $400 a year type of thing, totally ignoring the likes of Spotify or Nokia's 'Comes with music'.

  28. OrsonX

    Whatever it is....

    ..... I'm sure it'll be MAGICAL!*

    *if held correctly

  29. Mike Flugennock

    My guess...?

    A special-edition custom-cut Martin Dreadnought with an Apple Logo-shaped sound hole.

  30. Herby

    Please let it be a good thing!

    I've got Apple stock, and has been floundering recently (at least it is up for the year). Since I need to sell a bunch of it before taxes go up next year, I'm hoping that it really will be a nice thing that everyone wants.

    Now where was that flight manifest for British Airways on Aug 31, LHR to SFO. I thought I saw something on it.....

  31. Richard Scratcher
    Coat

    Obvious really...

    Apple is going to announce a revolutionary kind of musical instrument that will change the whole recording and performance industry.

    They'll combine their wonderful technologies such as: accelerometers, gyroscopes, multitouch interface, aluminium unibody, lithium polymer battery, etc. and create an instrument with a novel and never before seen human interface.

    iMaracas!

    ch ch ch, ch ch ch-ch...

  32. Mike Flugennock
    Coat

    What about Opera?

    Sorry, just realized...

  33. richard 69
    FAIL

    please...

    make sure that you hold that guitar correctly.....

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    iFactor

    As long as this musical offering doesn't involve Syco I don't care what it is.

  35. DigiTime
    Alert

    It will be a revolutionary MP3 player...

    With a battery that lasts longer than a day, comes with noise-canceling head-phones, cusomisable EQ and works no matter how you hold it or which pocket it's in... Oh no, wait - that would be every OTHER MP3 player available on the market today... nevermind!

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