back to article Cashpoint mugger flashes distractionary chesticles

Two Eastern European women last Saturday relieved a Parisian of €300 by using a cunning jub-based attack on their hapless victim. The man was intercepted at a bank in Paris's 6th arrondissement by the pair of female ne'er-do-wells, one of whom demanded cash and tried to distract him using a newspaper as he extracted wonga from …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    title! title! title!

    wut? no it angle? I'm returning my register membership and never coming back. innit so?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      IT Angle

      @Anonymous Coward

      I hear a popular smartphone was involved in calling the cops. The call ended prematurely, much like him..

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      The IT angle is obvious

      T[he]IT angle is obvious to anyone!

  2. cyborg
    IT Angle

    The IT angle

    ATM warning message to be upgraded: "breasts operate in this area, always protect your PIN"

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    You know what we want..

    Playmobil, or it indeed never happened!

    To be honest if i had my choice of mugging scenarios this would be number one on the list.

  4. Anomalous Cowturd

    Were they, perchance, Bulgarian?

    Inquisitive minds need to know.

    Cover yourself up with this, love.

  5. Anonymous Coward

    Political Correctness

    Looking at the referenced newspaper article I notice that, in French, a victim is always feminine (La victime). Must be terribly difficult for the PC brigade in France mustn't it? Having an implied gender for every noun. The article itself seemed more intent upon not making a big deal out of the fact that the women were "from eastern lands". An intention that was not reflected by the commenters though. Most of whom wanted to let said ladies know that they'd be using their local cashpoints at lunchtime.

    I, for one, welcome our dusky eastern maiden crotch grabbing cash extracting overladies...

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Political Correctness

      So all male victims of crime also get emasculated. Poor bastards. What's French for "insult to injury"?

      1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

        Add insult to injury

        In French that would be

        "ajouter l'insulte à l'injure"

    2. Smallbrainfield

      Re: Eastern Lands


    3. Chris Miller
      Thumb Up

      Rectitude politique ?

      Nous avons entendu parler de cette !

    4. CT

      Grammatical gender ≠ sex

      As per title.

    5. Daggersedge

      You're not the only one who reads French

      I read French, too. While most of those making comments were only interested in joking around, two were interested in the women's origin. One wrote of the problem caused by open borders and the other pointed out that the women were no doubt gypsies.

      And indeed, the gypsies, or Roms as they call them here in France, are causing quite a bit of trouble, especially as of late. At least the government here is talking about doing something about them. The UK government, no doubt, would be talking about giving them hugs or something equally politically correct.

  6. beardman
    Paris Hilton

    Paris, ...

    ..learn this!

    1. Paris Hilton
      Paris Hilton


      Not for €300.

  7. Anonymous Coward

    I guess that's what they call

    an unhappy finish

  8. Pumpkinpositive

    Imagine at the police station...

    Having to pick the pair out of the police line-up...!

  9. Anonymous Coward

    Guess what?

    I'll bet he felt a right tit.

    1. Marky W


      You win the award for 'Most Inappropriate Use of an Icon'.

      Well done.

  10. Erroneous Howard

    Re:You know what we want..

    Seconded......on both counts!

  11. James 93


    man good luck like that never happens to me!

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I know, it's cost me a packet

    Even getting out 10 euros at a time, it still adds up.

    Off to the bank again.

    1. Anonymous John

      I know what you mean.

      I've fallen for it five times this week. so far.

  13. Spot the Cat


    Can I be the 493rd person to say Playmobil or it didn't happen?

    Beer? It's Friday. No more need be said.

    1. heyrick Silver badge

      The last time I played with Playmobil...

      ...(a while ago) the male and females were distinguished mostly by their hair, with the females all being spectactularly flat-chested. Might need some augmentation with a lighter, toothpick, and an old polystyrene cup in order to make this story work in Playmobil!

  14. bluesxman

    The Real Story

    Man spunks €300 (if you'll forgive the popular vernacular) at a lap-dancing bar and dreams up cunning ruse to explain it away to the wife. It's even based in truth, what with the exposed boobage and crotch based fondling, so the lie is easier to maintain.

    1. Sergie Kaponitovicz
      Thumb Up

      You're a devious bugger .....

      .... and I like your thinking!

      1. Rob

        RE: You're a devious bugger

        I agree, noted for future use should I go to a strip club.

  15. Hollerith 1

    Modesty Blaise, wert thou living at this hour

    This reminds me of a cheap version of Blaise's famous Nailer.

    Didn't think it would work in these benighted and more sophisticated times, so I am cheerful that breasts can still freeze essential parts of the brain! Very sweet.

    {Well, they do for me...}

  16. Timo
    Thumb Up

    May have actually gotten a deal

    You'd spend more than 300 Euros in a strip club and not get felt up. Sounds like a bargain to me.

  17. Anonymous Coward

    pics of it didn't happen

    Seriously, don't all those machines take pics? The inquiring mind wants to know.

  18. Anonymous Coward

    Is "EAOE" another of these wretched American initialisms?

    For the correct British usage is "E&OE".

    (I've forgotten what the article was about, by the way...

  19. Brian 39


    According to Babel fish:

    "One d' she discovers her chest and puts her hand on l' crotch of the man while the second benefits from it to withdraw 300 euros."

    SAY NO MORE!!!!!!!

  20. This post has been deleted by its author

  21. Alan Bourke

    This exact same thing

    happened to my friend John when we were on a stag in Madrid about 8 years ago.

  22. This post has been deleted by its author

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I blame it on a modern education deficient in the classics...

    After all, the bloke would have been just fine had he heeded the warnings in the works of Lewis Carroll: "Beware the Jub-Jub Bird, and shun the frumious Bandersnatch!"

  24. Chris Miller

    Perpetrator has been nabbed

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    But think of the kids.

    I wanted to post this to the latest article, about the hooligans being young'uns so will go for "they should be protected cause they're soo young". But the thread was closed. Thanks Miss Bee :-( I guess you are thinking of the kids.

    Around here the young f-wits, think they can do anything, cause all will be forgiven. Its bad when a kid bludgeons his ex into a vegtable state, with a tomahawk, and then claims she asked to die.

    I think a bit more common sense is required in the justice system. Cause around here at least, it's not working...

    Anon.. Cause Im thinking of the kids.

  26. Anonymous Coward

    pics/CCTV footage or it didnt happen

    playmobil re-enactment or it didn't happen.

    I'm up in Glasgow and there are a fair number of Roma/Gypsies up here.

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