...they'd all just fuck off. I mean really fuck right off. Bloody Daily Fail.
The Daily Mail has worked itself up into a right tizz over last Friday's episode of ITV1 soap Emmerdale, in which a chalked shopping list was seen to contain the items "jam rags" and "pile cream". The offending shopping list as seen in Emmerdale PA explains that the outrage was "visible during Friday's episode as a drunk …
...almost all the highest rated commentards are along the lines of "get over it, it's actually quite funny"
I never thought I'd EVER write a title like that and mean it. Must lie down and think about puppies and flowers for a bit. Yeah, that'll help.
Erm... why can't the parents just say "I don't know" or "they just write anything on those lists" or make something up - I can't imagine the kids are ever likely to remember? Or, shock-horror, just tell them the truth and tell them it's not appropriate to say it in general use?
I thought dealing with "difficult" questions was part of being a parent?...
Who writes on chalkboards any more? Surely they're so frickin tech savvy in the woolpack now they're all making notes about the jam rags on their iPads?
It's the lack of _reality_ I really find offensive. I mean, honestly, it's supposed to be a soap, reflective of the real world, where real aircraft crash into small villages and wipe out half the population because things are getting boring and nobody's watching... <grumbles>
"I was stunned when my son, who is only seven, turned around and asked me what a jam rag was."
As stunned as she was when her 7 year old started asking about infidelity, same-sex relationships, domestic violence or any other adult-themed staples of the genre?
"Jam Rag" can be explained away as a cloth for cleaning up spilled preserves. She should be proud her son could read.
""Jam Rag" can be explained away as a cloth for cleaning up spilled preserves"
But I rather think a better response would be to explain that it's a colloquial and slightly derogatory term for a sanitary towel. Lying to children just to avoid a bit of short-term embarrassment is a) setting quite a bad precedent, and b) rather pointless, as you will always be found out, especially in these days of easy access to Google, which has now replaced the school playground as the fount of all seven-year-old knowledge.
Your kiddo will effortlessly pick up on your sudden flinch and hesitant, semi-coherent explanation, and then google for the actual meaning (and find far worse stuff all around, using that keyword!). So the truth is the simplest way out...
It's the same as it used to be, I could tell when my mom was lying --- but then there was no google (nor altavista), and running to your friends got you an even less probable (but more colourful) explanation.
Is it just me, or are those unrelated quotes suspiciously similar?
"I couldn't believe my eyes" / "I was stunned"
"it's not the kind of language" / "It's not the kind of thing"
"my young son" / "my son, who is only seven"
"one of our oldest soaps" / "a programme like Emmerdale"
No, I'm sure it's just me.
...who had managed to sneak those on there, I'd buy them a pint. I'm prepared to bet that there were high-fives all round when that went to air.
As for the poor shrinking violets who are getting their knickers in such a twist over it, well, what can one say? FFS? Get a life? Aw, diddums, did da nasty man make rudey words in your poor ikkle eyesies?
There really are just too many human beings on this planet. I suggest that anyone who gets themselves into such a state of high dudgeon over "jam rags" (or, indeed, "pile cream" or anything similarly mild and inoffensive) should be assigned to the first batch to be culled when the fossil fuels and food really do start running out.
It's not beyond the bounds of possibility that a similar shopping list in the home of a DM reporter might end with essential items "KY" and "Rent Boy".
Sadly, were such a list to be broadcast, it would likely go right over the heads of the Blue Rinse brigade.
Daily Mail readers read the Daily Mail to get good and angry at whatever contrived injustice/moral transgression the Daily Mail chooses to feed them. Makes them feel superior.
I, on the other hand, sometimes read the Daily Mail to get good and angry at whatever Daily Mail readers are getting good and angry about. Makes me feel superior.
Well it might have been marmalade actually, if I recall... Anyway it was for the next WI jumble sale, to go with my coconut macaroons. And I spilled some on the worktop. I was just popping to the shops to get some rich tea biccies anyway, so I jotted down a quick list to remind me to get some jam rags to wipe up the spilled marmalade with.
What, did you think I meant something else? Why you have a filthy mind young lady! You should be ashamed of yourself!
Oh, and if you haven't tried a strawberry-pile cream-cake you haven't lived. The recipe? Well you need a pound of fresh strawberries, piled on top of about 2 dozen butter scones, and a some whipped double cream to top it all off. Delicious!
...to the people commenting on the Daily Fail website, many of them seem to be seeing this as the fun and frolicsome thing that it undoubtedly is.
More importantly, someone on there has pointed out that the first letters of the first four items on the list spell out a naughty word.
I then noticed that the fifth item on the list was "Biscuits". Which follows on beautifully from the afore-mentioned naughty acrostic.
Then you get to the jam rags and pile cream.
Whoever came up with that shopping list is just going up and up in my estimation with each passing moment.
As for "I can't believe a woman wrote that", well let me tell you that it was my wife* that introduced me to the term many years ago.
She nearly shat herself laughing when she saw what they were getting in a tizz about. Mind like s sewer my wife :)
*Yes, I'm married, even though I'm techie enough to post on El Reg. Go figure.
Not being acquainted with the colloquialism myself, I did what any sane individual with access to the net would do - look it up on Urban Dictionary.
Right, so it's a box of tampons. Excuse me, Daily Wail, but I would think that's a perfectly reasonable item for a female to put on their shopping list - and pretty much every post-pubescent female would know what they are (if listed under their proper name), and probably have used such devices themselves, regardless of their attitudes to sexual relationships.
I assume "tampons" would have generated similar outrage, as would the related product "Sanitary Towels" (unless they wrote a term also used for a certain electronic device...)
The "soaps" are so full of mindless cack already, hardly think seeing a few rude terms written at the back of the set would offend.
Why are Daily Fail readers watching Emmerdale, so they can feel superior about the "little people" living out in the sticks?
Oil spewing into gorgeous beaches, dead wildlife, domestic violence, homophobia, happy-slappers killing OAPs and getting 6 months for murder and these mindless twatf**ks that read the DM complain about a few silly words? Christ on a bike!
Get a sense of perspective FFS!
>> "I couldn't believe my eyes when it appeared on screen - it's not the kind of language you expect to appear in one of our oldest soaps. I had to cover my young son's eyes because I didn't want to have to explain that kind of crass language to him at such a young age.
Do kids ask their parents these awkward questions anymore? I would have imagined they would just google it?
I'd seen this article on another site, and thought the fuss was about about Arse Biscuits, seems they'd photoshopped out the last two items on the shopping list.
Oh! well at least Sharon Kennedy's son will now find out what a jam rag is, I'm sure everyone at school will have told him by now! LOL and now the little fella will sorry he asked when he'll be sent off to the pharamcy to get some jam rags for her every month!
Being an ex- twit southerner, I had to go Google to find out what that expression meant. That's actually quite funny. About as funny as trying to imagine how many of those fuming self-righteous people actually watch the programme.
Reminds me of that weather forecast where they carefully picked names of towns which were... a little bit dubious.
Fair enough - we're all a bit laddish in here. But just suppose it had been something especially offensive to the left wing, and The Guardian had kicked up a noise. Just suppose it had been some racist slogan. Would we be hearing the "Daily Fail, Daily Fail" stuff here? I don't think so. Fine. Be consistent. Some things offend people, so don't be hypocritical.
If we laugh at yet another over reaction by the daily mail, we can't then take offence at genuinely offensive stuff.. Don't know about anybody else, but I see a slight flaw in the logic here.
Daily fail standard practice seems to be outraged at the slightest thing. As it seems is the default settings of many of the morality watchdogs.
It's a perfectly natural bodily function. If anything the nonsensical level of taboo is the thing to be embarrassed about.
....the indignation I mean. I find it very hard to believe that this got more than a very few very sad sosial retards upset. I am old enough to remember the term being used in the playground at my junior school in the sixties for crying out loud. Yes, thats right, it was not exactly unheard of that eight year olds were perfectly familiar with that term 50 flaming years ago!
I have to thank Adrian for giving me an extra laugh on this one. Jam Rag was good enough, the added bonus being the outrage of the moronic, sappy nanny types that complained.
To add such a delicious helping of aforementioned **** biscuits has made my morning. Ta very much.
I love it when folks that support censorship are provoked towards a stroke...
Yes, yes we would be slagging of the Graun if their complaint had been equally whiney and pathetic.
I think your correlation of a non-profane colloqial term for a very common and arguably necessary product that (as already mentionsed) is itself sold in the breaks during the programme to racist slogans is a little, well, Daily Mail, really.
Jam rag is a term you'll only ever hear coming from the mouths of children. It's a juvenile term invented by kids so if a kid knows what it means they won't be offended by it. OTOH if a kid doesn't know what it means they won't be offended.
Secondly Emmerdale does not specifically deal with "adult" themes, but it's still not a programme for children. Children of an age that could possibly be offended (however unlikely) shouldn't really be watching it. Actually I'm amazed that any children would want to watch any soap dross, when I was a kid I always did my best to avoid almost all the stuff my parents watched. From what little I've seen of soaps over the years anybody would have to be brain dead (Daily Fail reader?) to watch it.
Like as not and 'appen as maybe, but not on these licensed premises Mister Wilkes.