back to article The Sun saves parasailing donkey's ass

There's some top quality news today for the animal lovers among you: the Sun has moved with lightning speed to save the Sea of Azov's very own flying donkey, Anapka, who recently found herself on the wrong end of an asinine promotional stunt: The Telegraph reports that the beast is none the worse for her ordeal, with a vet …

COMMENTS

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  1. Test Man
    WTF?

    **facepalm**

    Did The Sun pay for the donkey? If they did, they are idiots for letting the people who owned that donkey profit from it. FOOLS!

  2. Number6

    Job Offer

    No doubt the Sun will offer the donkey a job as a journalist or even a sub-editor, given that it's a proven high-flier.

  3. Anonymous John

    "What is clear, though, is that Anapka's flying days are over. "

    It's not clear to me. The Sun says only that “she will never be forced to parasail again”

    She may have got a taste for it.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    c-uke

    Fed cucumbers?! Eugh - what evil will it have to endure next eh

  5. Matthew Anderson

    Save?

    How did they save the donkey? Did they go over, collect said donkey, bring it to the UK and plonk it in a lovely green field with other saved donkeys?

    As far as I can see they simply confirmed the donkey was in good health.

    Am I missing something here?

    What an ass of a story from the Sun as always.

  6. The Nameless Mist
    Paris Hilton

    Assuredly the right Ass

    So the Sun goes out there and says "we want to pay you lots of Roubles for the Parasailling dongkey".

    Now .. call me a it sceptical, but don't you wonder if someone just dragged them along and went .. there .. thats the donkey .. pay up.

    {Paris .. because the Donkey is her Best Friend Forever ?}

  7. D@v3
    Coat

    im not surprised the Sun got involved.

    After all, how could they resist a photo of a Russian ass in the air at the beach

  8. No, I will not fix your computer
    Happy

    And the news is....

    ....today, not only don't we have any news, nor does anyone else.

  9. Craig 2
    Thumb Up

    Basically...

    Someone thought of that headine and spared no expense to be able to print it.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    They just made an ass of themselves

    Terrible... just terrible. I mean theres this donkey being forced to do an activity that us meer mortals have to shell out loads for. So damn right they should stop it from happening again.

    Let that mule pay for his own abseiling like the rest of us. Like the old saying goes, "No free rides. Pay with either gas, grass or ass". ;-)

    But on a serious note I think most are making this out to be too big a deal. The beast was not injured. Was it stupid on the owners behalf? Hell yea. Was he intentially trying to cause the animal disress or harm? No, I don't think he is that clever that he could pull something like that off. And if indeed he wanted to harm or disress the animal there would have been far easier ways to go about it.

    *Ducks and waits for the firestorm*

  11. g e

    Meanwhile in other news

    25,000 people die in a horrifying earthquake, buy, hey, the donkey's safe, OK?

    Mind you the mental state of most sun readers is 'unclear' at best.

  12. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Wallyb132
      Flame

      I am now dumber for having read this

      As the title suggests, i think i've lost a few IQ points after reading this mockery of the english language. I come from the land that has butchered the english language quite dramatically, and yet still reading your comment its become apparent to me that i now sit lower on the food chain for having read your babble...

      In an effort to help prevent all humanity from becoming dumber at the hands of your linguistic skills, might i suggest that you enlist in the services of an english tutor, purchase a copy of english for dummies, a dictionary, and a spell checker. Might i also suggest that you install and use firefox as your browser, it has a built in real time spell checker that checks your spelling as you type.

      Taking these simple steps will not only help prevent people from suffering the same fate i have, it'll make you a better person, or at least a more comprehensible person. Stop the madness, people in general are already dumb enough, they dont need to be dummied down any further at the hands of you.

      1. No, I will not fix your computer
        Grenade

        Yes, that is evident.

        You seem to have become dumber quite quickly;

        1. I should be always be capitalised (when used as a first person singular pronoun, at least five times plus an "I've")

        2. English has a capital E (four times)

        3. Firefox has a capital F (you're using it as a proper noun)

        4. You need to add an apostrophe in the word don't (it's known as a contraction)

        Taking these simple steps will not only help prevent people from suffering the same fate [that] I have, it will make you a less hypocritical person.

  13. Mystic Megabyte
    Flame

    Cruel!

    I find it totally cruel that the donkey was not issued with a regulation straw hat with two holes in it, anything could have happened!

  14. Shady
    FAIL

    Lets face it.....

    ....when all the fuss dies down, it's gonna be petfood anyway.

  15. This post has been deleted by its author

  16. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Dear Deidre

    MY SICK BOSS DEMANDS PARAGLIDING OR THE ASS GETS IT

    Dear Deidre,

    I fear I have made a bit of an ass of myself.

    My boss keeps trying to get me to have sex with him. I'm worried he'll find a reason to sack me unless I give in, or go parasailing above a beach. I'm a Donkey and it's taken me over a year to land myself a new job after being made redundant (previous attempts at Zorbing were fruitless.) I was over the moon that at last I could get back into work and start saving up so me and my boyfriend can move in together eventually (I'm a gay donkey.)

    Every day he finds excuses to get me to parasail, or stay after the others have gone home so we can be on our own whilst he fondles my parasailing strappage.

    I love my boyfriend very much and I wouldn't dream of being unfaithful. I've told my boss how I feel about my boyfriend and that we've been together for over two years. He just laughs and says I can do better and then boots me up the ass (literally) over a beach in Russia.

    What's really worrying me now is whether he'll find a reason to sack me unless I do what he wants. He's said as much in the past, and hence all the parasailing shennigans.

    I really can't afford to lose this job. There aren't many around where I live, and it would be so unfair as I know I do my work really well.

    YOURS,

    DONKEY.

    Deidre Says,

    Well if I were you I'd just use a condom before parasailing. Also I would observe the unrealistically sexy looking people in the photograph which we like to make out are the average couple but really we know the average couple look like they've got faces like smacked asses.

  17. Niall 1

    The Sun does shine

    out of their ass

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I must think

    ...of something vaguely cruel and newsworthy to do to a donkey for next summer's donkey-rescuing season. Money to be made there.

  19. DI_Wyman
    Go

    Has anyone got..

    Rupert Murdoch's phone number? I have got a pig that can fly and cow that jump over the moon. I must be able to make a few quid out of those two..

  20. Joe User

    Note to self

    Keep your ass on the ground.

  21. Skizz

    Dear Sun,

    Please learn about grammar. Your headline makes no sense, unless the ass in question was owned by a woman. It should be: "We've Saved an Ass" or "We've Saved Anapka the Ass".

  22. Anonymous John

    ParASSailing

    How did we miss this one?

  23. Captain TickTock
    Coat

    Your ass is mine!

    Hee haw.

  24. This post has been deleted by its author

  25. Paul Webb
    Coat

    Are you sure that donkey isn't...

    Lord (Jeffrey) Archer of Weston-super-Mare? Plenty of donkeys but only one real ass.

    I'll get my (straw) hat...

  26. gimbal
    Joke

    Asses aweigh, my friends...

    Assinine, indeed. Will the Sun pony-up again, if we launch a BP exec up there, instead?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Finally!

    Finally we get to use the immortal line "Drop the dead donkey".

    Oh, it's not dead yet... Errr... Um... How embarrassing... What I meant to say was, I'm sure it'll be pining for the Fjords soon; if the Currant Bun's looking after it ;)

  28. Adrian Esdaile
    Flame

    Annnd... is it horseracing & steeplechase next?

    So, the Snu is now the premier champion on animals rights? Good on them!

    Next up, they will be calling for bans of the horrifically cruel sports of horseracing, steeplechase and greyhound racing, not to mention fox hunting.

    Right?

    Right?

    Right?

    Thought not, back to your regularly scheduled program, switch off your brain, believe everything the media tells you.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Flying donkeys

    Now the Sun is associated with flying donkeys, not just the donkeys that read it!

  30. Captain TickTock
    Coat

    Donkey Found On The Moon

    As the Sunday Sport would have it.

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