back to article Possibly the world's most pointless review

Each week we receive dozens of link-to-article requests from tech websites. Much as we want to oblige, we rarely have time to read the articles, let alone link to them. Sumo Lounge Couple Sway Bean Bag with one person, a young woman, sitting on it We make an exception for this, from BigBruin.com and its review of the Sumo …

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  1. Rob
    Go

    Should have...

    ... reviewed the model sitting on the chair, she looks a lot more interesting :)

  2. Hollerith 1

    Not pointless

    A bit gushy and sounds as if it was written by the manufacturer's marketing team, but it tells you that the fabric is indeed soft (corduroy is often hard, because it's hard-wearing) and that the cover can be taken off and washed. The manufacturer might say so, but a true customer (if this indeed from a customer) might contradict i.e. 'they say it's machine washable but i ended up taking it to a dry-cleaner and even THEY couldn't shift Fluffy's fur from it'. So what's the problem?

    Most pointless review would have been 'Good chair.'

    1. jake Silver badge

      @Hollerith 1

      "'they say it's machine washable but i ended up taking it to a dry-cleaner and even THEY couldn't shift Fluffy's fur from it'"

      Next time save your dry cleaning money & add a quarter cup of white vinegar to the rinse water. Trust me, try it. Here at Chez jake, damn near everything sheds ... even the chairs ;-)

      1. Hollerith 1
        Thumb Up

        Noted, Jake!

        This article already generating practical results.

  3. Caff

    chair war

    That chair war is astonishing is its absurdity but to be expected I suppose.

    1. 2FishInATank
      FAIL

      Chair war censored?

      Interesting to note that the 'eruption' link (http://wosblog.podgamer.com/2010/07/21/benchmark-reviews-busted-more-like/) now leads to an 'Account Suspended' page....

      I suspect, from the timing and recent comments from a Benchmark Reviews writer then the following reply from the author, that Benchmark Reviews have really got their knickers in a twist about this.

      The long and the short of it was that BR have published a fawning review of a $1200 chair which seems to be mainly copied from a press release, yet claimed to be independently authored and a critical review. The WoS article called them on this and pointed out that comments on the BR page which asked about this had been deleted, then his IP blocked.

      http://benchmarkreviews.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=562&Itemid=58

      Make your own mind up, but there are lots of phrases which are never used by human beings - only ever in press releases.

      1. 2FishInATank

        Further news from the chair war trenches

        As mentioned by AC 16:55, Benchmark Reviews have issued a DMCA takedown notice against the page linked to in the article.

        However, as is traditional there's a nascent Streisand effect on the rise....

        The original critic's homepage is at www.worldofstu.co.uk where one can find a forum which has a thread about this whole palava here: http://s2.zetaboards.com/worldofstuart/topic/5093413/1/

        The long and the short of it is that the original page is on the way to being restored, and http://wosblog.wordpress.com/ is currently up and running.

        There's also a metafilter article about it here:http://www.metafilter.com/93993/Corruption-in-the-chair-world

        Apologies to our dear moderatrix for the many links to other sites, but it is interesting* to see what lengths Benchmark Reviews are going to in an attempt to silence and remove from the interwibble someone who is making a criticism of their 'review'.

        * - for specific values of 'interesting'....

      2. 2FishInATank

        More frontline reports....

        Apparently the original author of the criticism isn't universally loved: http://worldofstuart.com/

  4. Sweep

    pointless (but fun) reviews

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000JTOYLS/ref=sr_1_5_cm_cr_acr_pop_hist_all?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&qid=1279887464&sr=8-5

    1. Mitch Kent
      Coat

      Not the review I thought

      I saw the amazon link and assumed it was for this...

      http://www.amazon.co.uk/Whole-World-Katie-Price-Peter/dp/B000JU8FXK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1279895156&sr=8-1

  5. Stephane Mabille
    FAIL

    "I"PCC review maybe

    Why not try to review UK police accountability? That will be pointless and quick....

  6. Andy 3
    Happy

    This is great fun!

    I love writing pointless reviews. It's almost impossible to buy anything now without being asked to submit a review on it so I usually like to go a bit mental if the item's really mundane.

    I think the most mundane item I was aksed to review was a plastic petrol where I waxed lyrical about how amazing it was but the review seems to have gone now :(

  7. Flugal

    Chairs

    Having worked for an online furniture retailer I can attest to how dull it is to write reviews of chairs. I have seen many more pointless reviews than this...simply writing "modern classic" is easy but not very helpful. This review did at least give details on the feel and washability of the fabric etc...that will be relevant to a lot of people.

    Re. the link to the gaming chair you reviewed a couple of years ago, I created a cheaper solution with a couple of Nissan Micra seats: http://tinyurl.com/2wmyfzo (a setup now long defunct)

  8. JohnBoy
    FAIL

    Short of news?

    Short of news?

  9. peter 45
    Coffee/keyboard

    Pointless review - you win

    I do remember a tech review about a USB hard drive that went into gush detail about the one feature tha set it aside from all the other USB hard drives.

    It had a knob.....that you could turn......to contol the intensity.........of the activity light.

    Wow

    1. PC Paul
      Flame

      @peter 45 - an LED brightness control is not so pointless!

      I have several bits of kit with ridiculously bright LEDs (usually blue) where I would love to be able to turn them down, especially on the Freeview box in the bedroom.

      Until the day everything has a super sensible brightness knob, a small square of duct tape does the job quite nicely...

  10. TeeCee Gold badge
    WTF?

    300 washers for a bean-bag?

    Soft, washable covering?

    I'd like to think it's made of individual strands of Unicorn hair with each one hand inserted into an Unobtanium mesh backing by Tibetan nuns at that bloody price.

  11. Peet McKimmie
    WTF?

    In *your* chair review...

    ...Is an "Alan key" anything like an "allen key"?

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      Maybe ..

      It doesn't change the meaning quite as much as removing one specific "r" from "Repetitive Strain Injury", but maybe it's not "L" shaped so they took one "L" out of the name :-)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Thumb Up

        Thank your lucky stars.

        Thank your lucky stars he didn't put Anal Key

  12. paulf
    Thumb Down

    Hmmm

    Reads more like an "advertorial" than a review really.

    Looks nice, but I'm sure its special feature is "only comfortable for five minutes then push into a corner and hope no one notices my horrible purchasing mistake"

  13. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge
    Stop

    @ PC Paul...

    Duct, or Duck?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Benchmark Reviews chair war

    Benchmark Review's very mature response to the accusations that they had published a PR puff piece was to issue a DMCA takedown notice against that blog.

    That'll prove your innocence!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Witless reviewer?

    "Just to drive this point home of how large the packaging is, we actually had to take the door off of its hinges to get it inside. It probably wouldn't have been the case if we'd bothered to take it out of the box, but we weren't sure what to expect so we left it in"

    Lemme think, beanbag, soft and floppy. Doorframe not. Obviously written by marketing people.

  16. ratfox
    Pint

    Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz

    121 pages of reviews on Amazon so far.

    1. Anonymous John

      Damn you!

      That's my whole afternoon gone unnoticed.

      http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B003O3I1S8/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

      Nothing to do with me. Honestly.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Exciting Benchmark Reviews chair war update

    http://wostest.wordpress.com/2010/07/24/exciting-benchmark-reviews-update-4-2/

    Olin Coles is desperately trying to suppress the evidence of his PR-written review.

  18. Trevor_Pott Gold badge

    Sumo Chairs!

    I loves them!

    Also, if you want the best folding chairs for campfires and such, look up the Maxx Daddy ones. Yay for chairs bought on the internets!

    I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...

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