Aaahh what a great lift idea, why didnt i think of that??
now has anyone seen my tool kit?
Paris - because she likes riding up and down for and hour and 15 minutes too
"I... uh..." the Boss says, wandering into Mission Control aimlessly, searching for the right words to bring up whatever's on his mind. "Yes?" I ask, letting him off the hook. "The lifts" he says cryptically.. "The lifts?" I repeat.. "The buttons on the lifts" he says. "They have buttons - yes - well spotted," I say. " …
(Sigh!) If only there were a way to install a "go straight to hell and suffer for all eternity" button, I could think of one purchaser I'd persuade to press it. "Press doors-open AND doors-close AND 6 three times and it'll take you to a place where they think it really *is* a good idea to modify an expert sysadmin's order to your criteria".
Sorry, but I feel better now.
I read over that two or three times to make sure it wasn't me reading it wrong. But why wouldn't you want to see the hot woman for 30 minutes instead of just stopping at her floor, maybe she would come over because the elevator got stuck on the floor and she might need to use it, then you get to say, I think its broken, lets take the stairs.
All I've ever wanted to do with he lifts at the office is to go to the basement and fiddle with the 'up' button, turning it upside down, and adding some red lights in the shaft(possibly together with a smoke machine) which is to activate as the elevator arrives...
Couple of things:
1) In a galaxy far far away, a long time ago (over 40 years), while I was in the 3rd form, the elevators in the school house were reserved for "non students" (how cruel!). They were a bit more primitive than today in that they had swing doors. Said doors had contacts that confirmed that they were closed (how safe). I found it "compensating" to apply a piece of scotch tape over said contacts after moving the elevator car to the highest floor. Got my BOFH training early in life (over 40 years ago!). It was mentioned in "morning reports" the second time I did it. It seems that they didn't like calling the elevator repair service out for a $$$$ bill.
2) A few years later we equipped the elevator in the building I worked in with a complete remote control (sadly before microprocessors were common). It was a wonderful wired umbilical we put on the top of the car. We included a com line for the "emergency telephone", and an override for the "emergency stop" button.
I haven't found a building in the US that actually has a floor labeled "13"- they all skip it, deemed unlucky.
For some reason I really enjoy asking someone to "hit 13 for me" in one of these elevators, usually in a hotel or something where someone isn't familiar with the place.
It's starting to irk my wife a bit though.
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