back to article 'Holland wins World Cup' declares CBSNews

It seems that some US media outlets are still getting to grips with the finer points of football, declaring that it was the Orange-clad, yellow-carded Dutch who won last night. CBSNews/AP declared, in the early hours, that "The Netherlands Wins First World Cup and Ends 22-Year Streak Without a Title of Any Kind". CBSNews …


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  1. Pete 2 Silver badge


    Well, they did get the continent correct. Maybe this has more to do with their view of world geography than a (lack of) interest in football

    1. Anonymous Coward


      Has nothing to do with geography and everything to do with the lack of interest in soccer.

  2. Number6


    Perhaps the reported confused yellow cards and goals? If so, the Dutch won by a mile.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    Same old same old. The US news outlets also declared that George W Bush won the election against Al Gore. Except in this case FIFA aren't going to change the result to match the reports.

    1. Apocalypse Later

      Bush did win (Liberal mythology not withstanding)

      Many recounts using many different ways of biasing the count were performed after the result was settled, and Bush won them all. Incidentally, the courts did not "award" the election to Bush, they merely stopped the incessant recounting. Bush had the votes all the way.

      1. Flybert

        well that's because we don't have a democracy in USA

        Gore won the most votes, by about 500,000 .. but Gore did not win Florida, nor the Electoral College .. which is what counts

        anyway, we have a Republic here, not a democracy on the Federal level ..

        I happen to think that's a good thing , BTW

        just too bad that whether Republican or Democat .. vast majority are bought out whores

  4. Red Bren


    I'm surprised they provided any coverage once the US were knocked out.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Still there

    Well as of 14:00 Spanish time, it's still there, complete with a load of comments about how great it is! You would've thought that they would have pulled it by now!

    When you come to think about it, history can be anything you want it to be...

    Black helicoptor for Team America - World Historians Yeah!

  6. Elmer Phud


    The worse bit of news is underneath the world cup screw-up.

    Sugar Minott's dead.

    1. lpopman

      titular agreement

      That's just what I was thinking.....sad news

  7. Desk Jockey

    Common practice

    Nope, all this shows is that the US are catching up with the UK sports journos who write 90% of the match before it has even started! They add a couple of tweaks as the game progresses and then just add the final score just as the final whiste blows. They lodge the article back in the head office (presumably by using WiFi or 3G) and then dash off to the pub. Sports journos have notoriously lazy habits!

    At least the UK ones know to post the article AFTER the match has finished rather than before so the US guys have a bit of catching up to do and will not be among the first into the pub for long while their editors abuse them over the phone for lodging the wrong result!

    1. alwarming
      Paris Hilton

      Re : Common practice

      Agreed.. this looks like forewriting the game. The screen shot says "SCORE to SCORE" - suggesting that followed by premature copyjaculation before the writer could actually plug-in the real scores. Or, he had two copies on his iphone and uploaded the worng'un.

      Paris, coz she did SCORE during the world cup.

  8. Dennis
    Black Helicopters

    Beauty is truth

    Remeber, truth is beauty and beauty is truth.

    Real life isn't beautiful and threfore cannot be true.

    So if The Netherlands winning is a more beautiful result it must be true.

    Anyway, the American's aren't known for maintaining historical accuracy. C.f. the film U-571. If the American's want to believe that The Netherlands won, then it must be true. Just like Saddam and his weapons of mass destruction.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If I take the article to William Hill...

    Do you think they'll honour the £5 i put on Holland to win?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    From reading the article, it was obviously a SCORE-draw.*

    *If you are playing the Pools, a good thing.

  11. Lottie


    Epic fail, but I'm more concerned by the smaller headline. Sugar Minott went and died. Bummer.

  12. Yorkshirepudding

    own goal

    touchdown lolz

    1. Zimmer

      nice 'try' ...

      but that would be a 'Safety' (2pts)

      (puns intended)

      1. lpopman

        titular extension

        Followed by a conversion, no doubt...

  13. JaitcH

    The danger of templates!

    When our company prepares data templates we always fill variables with a code that prevents posting.

    Until an form/posting is edited with the code substituted the posting programs prevent transmission.

    How many obits have been published before the subject actually died?

    1. alwarming

      Re: The danger of templates!

      Instead of SCORE they should say FUCKING SCORE. That should surely disallow CBS filters from posting it! :-)

      we do (-1 == i) to avoid accidentally compiling (i=1). :-|

    2. A J Stiles

      Yes indeed

      How hard is it to do something like

      die "Unresolved placeholder $1" if $content =~ /(\$[a-z][a-z0-9_-]*)/i;


  14. Andy 21


    It sounds like they have been taking lessons and listening to Arson Wenger's press conferences, as the amount of things he "does not see" is probably on par with this CBS Reporter.

  15. Keris
    Paris Hilton


    "by a score of SCORE to SCORE" implies that this was copy set up just in case (there was probably a similar of in case the other side won), intended to have the actual scores filled in, which got accidentally released (possibly instead of the actual edited file, a simple matter of finger trouble).

    Nicely embarassing for the people who did it, though, hence Paris.

  16. Anonymous Coward


    It's not uncommon for sports writers to finish recaps before the event has finished to meet deadlines. Obviously it's not supposed to be posted. This is just like news websites accidentally posting place holder obits for famous people who aren’t dead.

  17. Mark Eccleston

    Be prepared: Write two stories

    ...then post the wrong one after the game finishes.


  18. Doug Glass

    So? What's Your Point?

    It's CBS ... Can't Believe Shit.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    personality disorder

    I also get confused when a country is often referred to as holland/the netherlands/the dutch in sometimes the same conversation.

    Glad they lost cos they tarnished the bootiful game but sorry for 'iron robin' he deserved better.

    1. Apocalypse Later


      "I also get confused when a country is often referred to as holland/the netherlands/the dutch in sometimes the same conversation."

      Do you ever think they must mean Spain?

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What's the score?

    "A score of score to score"?

    Excelent. When people talk football all I hear is what Charlie Brown hears; blah blah blah. So this line fits right in.

    Purlease. 120 minutes and only one goal scored? What a fucking tedious sport. The reason people get so het up about the minutiae of the game is that nothing big ever happens.


    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @What's the score?

      I was confused when I tuned in expecting a big soccer, sorry, futbol match and what I really got to witness was a first rate diving competition! I must admit though, a couple of those guys did actually get "touched".

  21. Mike Smith
    Thumb Up


    "premature copy ejaculation" - love it!

  22. richard 69

    looks like...

    a framley examiner article.....ha!

  23. Tsu Dho Nimh

    Wrong Can Opened

    What you see here is one of two stories that CBS had "in the can", already written except for the final score, ready to have the score thrown into the first paragraph where you see the variables SCORE to SCORE.

    One was written in the event of Spain winning, the other in the event of the Netherlands winning. Someone pushed the wrong button. oopsie!

    It's standard newspaper practice to have stories with only a couple of possible outcomes written ahead of time. They are kept ready for the insertion of a few details to bring it up to date: Pop Tart wins/loses custody battle, Evil Criminal innocent/guilty of heinous murder, Famous Person dies suddenly ... the obituary has been kept up to date by some flunky so only the date and cause of death has to be written.

    (contrary to Desk Jockey's statement, the USA has been doing it at least since the Spanish-American War)

    1. Desk Jockey

      Contrary indeed

      I will not argue they have been doing it for a long time. However, this is a new phenomenon for them in regards to football (soccer for the benefit of US readers). Given their historial general lack of understanding (or even interest) of soccer rules, they probably got some other hack to write the articles for them. Or did copy and paste jobs.

      This represents a significant change for them as they have got someone to actually follow the world cup and try to update the news as it happens. Such honour is only reserved for 'proper' sports that most Americans would actually be interested in!

      I think you may find that pre-written templates for the Spanish-American war probably fall into the 'propaganda' territory rather than being newspaper screw-ups! Otherwise, a priceless article about how the good ole US boys won the battle with a sprinkling of casualties and a fine bayonet charge against those dastardly redcoats (Ed - Mexicans you moron, that war was years ago! What colour do they wear anyway?) would be a rather funny article to read, if a tad obvious!

  24. iRadiate

    New Post Post is just as bad

    They declared

    'US Wins 1-1 against England'

    1. Apocalypse Later


      Which is ironic as the USA usually only does steely or brassy.

    2. J 3


      Nothing wrong with that line, actually...

  25. aThingOrTwo

    It happens over here

    The Daily Mail reported Tony Martin won the Tour De France Prologue in Rotterdam as the writer filed their copy before actual winner Fabian Cancellara crossed the finish line.

    Funny thing is, they still haven't corrected it over a week later:

  26. Anonymous Coward

    Dewey defeats Truman!

    We get that a lot over here.

  27. James R Curry
    Thumb Up


    Won by a margin of SCORE to SCORE.

    Excellent! My bookie owes me AMOUNT.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    Paris ... just because ... it crossed my mind

  29. Eddy Ito

    Needs more cowbell

    America will start paying attention when Wally World, Budswater and the other mass marketers get on board as sponsors willing to shell out sufficient dollars to TV people for coverage. Of course this will require a large tournament to be held at a time when it doesn't have to compete with the other sports for viewers. Oh the "Super !Bowl" or "World !Series" pretty much has to be US focused since international sports are considered an offshoot or mere training for the Olympics.

    It also means getting schools on board so the chitlin' can fool themselves into aspiring to be one of the rich players with lots of bling. Unfortunately, hoops has the city locked up and american football owns the corn states. That leaves competing for kids who can't make the cut on the baseball teams in the suburbs. Granted, we all joke about "soccer moms" driving ability but most of the kids are really off playing lacrosse, hockey or something with bats. Perhaps it is even the term 'soccer mom' that suppresses acceptance.

    Also, note the catch 22 is a bit circular as nobody wants to spend money on something with a small fan base and the fan base is unlikely to grow until big money is involved on advertising. Until then, it's meh of the same that helps insulates us from the outside world.

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