back to article For sale: Dr No's Scottish bunker complex

Aspiring Bond villains looking for a "truly unique property" with space for the usual world domination paraphernalia, such as big models of Fort Knox, spacecraft-eating rocket ships and so forth, should check out this Aberdeenshire des res: The Guard House surface building Nice gaff, but the real interest lies beneath the …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Nice grow room

    Just need a way to funnel vast amounts of fuel to some diesel generators.

    ...

    3. Profit!

    1. Stone Fox
      Go

      Damnit!

      Beat me to it! Given that it's in Scotland, solar power is out but maybe wind turbines backed up by diesel genys? Using LEDs rather than HIDs would save power.

      With any luck there's a nice underground river within easy tunneling distance, that way you get water and hydroelectric power!

      1. Steve Roper
        Stop

        Not such a good grow room guys

        With all this advertising, I'd say the cover's kind of blown. It's a pretty safe bet that the local constabulary are very aware of its existence. Should unusually large amounts of whacky-backy suddenly start appearing on the peaceful streets of Aberdeen, there's no cigar (or joint) for guessing the first place the cops are going to look!

        Secret underground bunkers are only useful when they are, you know, kind of secret.

        1. Stone Fox
          Coat

          Stop raining on my parade!

          There's no need to give up on a perfectly good plan just because it doesn't work...

          (besides, you obviously wouldn't shift it in the local area...)

  2. Chimpofdoom!

    Ha!

    I was at the "Secret bunker" in Fife on Sunday. Very interesting place, fairly cold (temperature stays at a constant 65 deg F (18.33 deg C), the heating system underground costs about £200 an hour to run.

    There's also another bunker in Edinburgh on Costorphine hill, unfort. this one was burnt out when a bunch of yobs backed a truck down the tunnel, loaded tyres into the place and set it alight.. the fire burned for 6 days!

    1. Ian Michael Gumby
      Thumb Up

      Hmmmm

      A constant 65F / 18.33C?

      Sounds like a perfect place to put up a data center if you think about it. Then your only worry is how to generate electricity in a cost efficient manner and getting a good internet connectivity.

      It looks to be 25-30km from Aberdeen so it would be expensive getting a large data pipe brought in...

      Maybe be better as an off site storage for hard drives and tape as part of a DR plan.

      Also note that the price says >$250 (That should be British Pounds)

  3. TeeCee Gold badge

    Come on, answer the important questions!

    Does it have a shark pool?

  4. Stewart Cunningham
    Unhappy

    I think i bought the wrong house

    Within a few hundred yards and I never knew it was there. It's cheap too!

  5. Thomas 4
    Boffin

    Important questions

    * Does it have space for a shark tank?

    * Does it have a series of cells with locks that can be defeated by a suitably obscure gadget?

    * What are the connections like to the National Grid for powering industrial, spy carving lasers or doomsday devices?

    * Seriously, does it have space for a shark tank?

    1. Nathan Price
      Go

      Yes.

      It has a substantial sewage treatment facility that could easily be repurposed as a shark tank.. You might have to, you know, hold it in then, though.

  6. blackworx
    Pint

    That's one hell of a party flat

    Well, it is Friday.

  7. Sir Runcible Spoon

    Sir

    Underground paintball location - Tiberius 8 pistols only - with the James Bond theme playing in the background.

  8. Mystic Megabyte
    Happy

    tick-tock

    In the bottom-right image does that sign say "Do not affix time bombs here!"

    And why is it movie bombs always have flashing LEDs?

    Surely the stuffed rat type bomb from "The Guns of Navarone" would be better.

  9. Nathan Price
    Happy

    Viewed it

    Been there, viewed it. It's awesome. Going back in a week and a bit for better site survey. Considering it seriously as a place to live and a business proposition.

    Hands off!

    1. Freddie
      Joke

      Don't you mean...

      Been there, viewed it. It's rubbish. Going back in a week and a bit for better site survey, but not because it's good or anything, you'd hate it.

  10. Nathan Price
    Happy

    Incidentally

    Anyone wishing to take this on for business purposes and needing someone to be a live-in caretaker / sysadmin should get in touch....

  11. Fr. Ted Crilly
    Black Helicopters

    B.J Blaskowitz needed

    Is it me or, is it the model for 'underground bunkers' in return to castle wolfenstein.

  12. This post has been deleted by its author

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ping-pong

    That would be a pretty sweet place to put a ping-pong table. I just hope it's not still listed on a missile targeting database somewhere.

  14. yoinkster
    Thumb Up

    for 250k

    that is an absolute bargain and something I would consider purchasing if I wasn't already being assraped for all my money.

  15. sazoo
    Black Helicopters

    Hmmmm

    The "want" factor is high...

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    been close to there

    ..its quite remarkable how well such small facilities 'disappear' into the background when looking at maps of the area...and we're such a small island...makes you wonder what can and does lurk around elsewhere..

    ..anyway, been quite close to this place - Stonehaven is just up the road...a lovely proper castle

    (whats left of it!) :-)

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I want it!

    That is all.

    1. neb
      Black Helicopters

      me too

      arm wrestle you for it?

  18. Michael H.F. Wilkinson
    Pint

    Intriguing?

    "It is intriguing to consider what private use in this day and age such a vast underground facility could be utilised for."

    Wine cellar!!

  19. CharlieBoY
    Thumb Up

    Déjà vu

    Hmmm if anyone watches the series Breaking Bad, this looks almost identical to the crystal meth lab they use (well minus the equipment). This place would be perfect for those aspiring drug manufacturers!

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    meth lab/hydro farm

    anything else would be inappropriate

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Paintball anyone?

    There was a HUGE version of one of these went up for sale in America some years ago. No idea if anyone actually bought it. Like that one, this would make a brilliant game location - a paintball or laser-gun type thing.

    Of course, it would take a lot fo cash and they all tend to be rather remote places, which sort of makes it difficult

  22. Kevin Johnston

    Uses...

    Hmmm, can you say paintball extreme?

  23. David Cook
    Black Helicopters

    Aerial Perspective

    For anyone interested here is the aerial view:

    http://www.bing.com/maps/?v=2&cp=56.85189355543685~-2.265845015645027&lvl=17&sty=h&eo=0

    Amazing the things you get distracted by when you should be doing something else :-)

  24. Anonymous Hero
    Black Helicopters

    There's one in Fife

    There's one almost identical to this in Fife operated as a visitor attraction:

    http://www.secretbunker.co.uk/explore_the_bunker.asp

    It's worth a visit.

    1. Chimpofdoom!

      there's more...

      One in Edinburgh too! Check out the 28 days later website for Edinburgh bunker

    2. Ian Yates
      Grenade

      And Kelveden Hatch

      Used to have annual LAN parties down there.

      Hearing "nuclear launch detected" from StarCraft in an actual ex-WW2 war room full of computers was always worth a laugh.

      Plus, they didn't use to close it to visitors, so you'd have a group of tourists listening to audio guides while we implemented world domination.

      Fun times

  25. Andrew Newstead

    Pool?

    For the sharks - obviously

  26. Yorkshirepudding
    Pint

    perfect!

    throw in some sharks with laser beams and im sold!

    TGIF!

  27. Filippo

    machinery

    What's the machinery in the bottom right picture?

    1. Captain TickTock
      Boffin

      Probably

      diesel generator

    2. Nathan Price
      Black Helicopters

      Plant room

      That's the big old vintage air con plant and generators - I don' think they're 50s vintage but pretty old. All redundant too, there's two of every system down there.

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Boffin

        @Nathan Price

        "All redundant too, there's two of every system down there."

        Given its intended purpose I don't think you'd want you life to hang on a breakdown in the aircon or the gennie.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Freakin' lasers

    From the Secretscotland site: ...."The site is private and very secure, with two mean and hungry Alsatian dogs patrolling the grounds (24/7). The owner has made it clear he wouldn't welcome visitors..."

    What...? No freakin' lasers on the Alsatians...????

    1. JEDIDIAH
      Grenade

      Lasers, Meh!

      Big dogs don't need no steenking lasers.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Can I convince my wife to let me move?

    If this is of interest check this site out: -

    http://www.subbrit.org.uk/rsg/index.shtml

    Duff

  30. Guido Esperanto

    What F'in title

    "Again because of the layout of the property no 3rd party insurance liability cover is in place"

    Whoa, is that in case of you tripping a death ray security system or the like?

    I'm interested now simply because viewing could be considered a danger to your health...lol

  31. Rob Beard
    Thumb Up

    But what sort of broadband speeds do they get?

    That's the question I'd be asking... I mean surely world domination requires more than basic dialup nowadays.

    Rob

  32. Captain TickTock
    Joke

    Surely they should be asking...

    (...raises pinky to corner of smirking gob...)

    One million dollars!

    Come on people, somebody throw me a frickkin' bone here.

  33. Inachu

    THIS IS AWSOME!

    I would use it either as a military art gallery or a dance club or modify it in some way to make it an underground pool resort.

    Lots of paint and some digging and wall removal and such.

    Would be great for a large company to movie their stuff into.

    If it was me I would put the entire EA(Electronic Arts) employees there.

    Great place for game programming.

    1. Rattus Rattus

      "would put the entire EA(Electronic Arts) employees there"

      And then fill the entrance with concrete?

      1. Shakje

        And leave them with nothing

        but a copy of ISS.

  34. MrT
    Black Helicopters

    It's within my budget...

    ... but the commute's a bit of a hurdle.

    Finally, somewhere to turn the amps up to 11 without annoying the neighbours.

  35. Gordon861

    Police Stop

    I want it.

    I would love to see the cops on SKY trying to raid that place using their puny enforcer.

  36. Neil Greatorex
    Pint

    There's one in Lincolnshire

    http://www.smartbunker.com/virtual-tour

    :-)

  37. Bob Foster
    Happy

    Spooky

    Reminds me very much of that old FPS game Far Cry (at least the underground bits,), too bad when you get outside it's Scotland and not a tropical island!

  38. Havin_it
    FAIL

    One drawback...

    "...The access is adjacent to the lodge..."

    So when the birds are in the air and doom imminent, you've got to trudge across the lane, in your pyjamas, stepping in cowshit, to get to your "safe room"? No thanks!

    Still, it is a cheap deal. With the money saved, pull down the lodge and put it back up on top of the access ramp. With a rotating bookcase in front of the entry, natch ;)

  39. Gordon861

    Eek Broadband

    Availability for the DD10 0TA area on the Inverbervie exchange

    Exchange Your local BT Exchange (Inverbervie) is ADSL broadband enabled

    Line Your line should be capable of supporting download speeds up to 512kbps (around 10 times faster than dial-up)

    Your line will be fully tested when you place a broadband order

    Postcode-only checks are not 100% accurate

    Oh well that scuppers that idea then.

  40. AndrewG

    Naaaah

    Needs a moat for Fang, my cybernetically enhanced watchshark

  41. Morpho Devilpepper
    IT Angle

    Where's my checkbook??

    Think of the parties I could host there! Now if only I had some friends...

  42. David 45

    Popcorn, anybody?

    Looks like it would make a great home cinema.

  43. Martin Howe

    Data centre's been done

    RAF Ash, Kent was one of these, now a company stores secure servers and such in it

    Their website is: http://www.thebunker.net/

  44. This post has been deleted by its author

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    Underground high voltage research lab?

    Hmm.. sounds like an ideal location to duplicate some of Tesla's more exotic research..

    Wonder how much three phase would cost :-)

    AC, not DC...

    (BTW can we *please* have a lightning bolt icon, El Reg?)

  46. Mips
    Jobs Halo

    Well yes!

    This looks ever so ever so familiar. There are quite a few dotted about the country and they are all pretty much the same generally used as military communications sites, some were converted as emergency regional seats of government.

    They have all been out of use since the 1990s, not that they had much use before that. They will have been left to rot, if they have generators they will be stuffed, all in all a expensive prospect to put back into working order.

    As it happens I know of one only 3 miles from the centre of London and has it's own football field and helicopter landing pad, good views over Wembley stadium as well, I have been waiting for a Russian oligarch to buy it. Would you be interested?

    Notice the innocent head; no jokes today.

  47. Bilby

    Not such a strange anomaly...

    From the Secret Scotland site... "one very strange anomaly; both the male and female toilets have a urinal."

    Given the facility was built in the '50s, it seems likely that they didn't put in a female toilet at all. There would have been two toilets; one for the officers, the other for the lesser ranks.

    It is plausible that, at a later date, the two facilities may have been re-badged as male and female, but no-one bothered re-plumbing.

    Lots of military facilities have two or even three male toilets (officers, NCOs, other ranks), plus one, two or three female, depending on the space available and the number of each sex expected to be stationed at the place.

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