Getting shafted by Apple obviously isn't enough for them
UK smut accessorymonger LoveHoney (NSFW) has confirmed what the fanbois out there knew all along: when they're not polishing their iPads, worshippers at the altar of Jobs are likely to be lovingly fondling other toys, with explosive results. LoveHoney deployed Google Analytics to demonstrate that "iPad users have the highest …
...it appears that the Reg staff - or at least the esteemed Mr Haines - is not only very conversant with "smut accessorymonger(s)", but also smut accessories; at least in sufficient detail to select and propose specific items...
I knew the anti-Apple invective of the BallmerJugend would make them go blind/hair fall out (or at least stop being curly). or maybe their fingers will be permanently stuck to the keyboard...
Wifey and I usually spend well over £80 when we increase our collection of stuff. Neither of us own any iThingies (apart from an adult, non apple iToy!).
Could it be that we have the extra money to spend cos we have blown our load on an iTampon?
Mind you, guess it could just be us.
Mines the one with the fixings for a swing in the pocket
> Linux users rank in the sex toy league table
They have a whole swarm available.. All of them free. None of them documented. Installation requires a long courtship that involves arcane commands and rituals. They have user interfaces as ugly as T***e *h**y on a bad day and require constant maintenance. But worst of all, none of them do what people actually want. Since the authors could not decide what the things should do, (having exactly zero real-world experience between them) they dropped in every single possible option their hours spent watching movies gave them, but with no sensible defaults.
Finally they gave their toys cutesy but wholly uninformative names, that no business person could ever put on a purchase order without losing all their credibility, and which change with each new release (that is almost identical to the one before, but oddly incompatible with it) and then sat around wondering why nobody wanted to use them.
You "configure" "the machine" every time you feel you want to. At least you don't have some dozy bunch of twits in Redmond or Cupertino dictating to you how it must be done.
Getting it "right" isn't the point, sometimes.
What is "right" anyways?
Getting it exactly (or close to) the way you want it one day and finding out the next day you want it the other way and having the capability to change?
The journey is the reward. (Wow, I wonder who has a book with that title...)
So we know this AC is called Dave. Sarah, you're guilty of leaking information! Quick, phone the Data Protection Registrar.
I think we often forget that the moderators can see the real usernames (and mail addresses) of all of the contributors. So much power for blackmail.......
Damn, think I've just shot myself in the foot. Quick, what past comments have I made as an AC?
"LoveHoney director Richard Longhurst opined: 'Apple users might spend more than Windows users because they’re sexually more confident and are more adventurous in the bedroom.'"
Or perhaps, given the relative prices of Apple and non-Apple computers and devices, perhaps they have (on average) more disposable income. That theory seems far more defensible to me, what do you all think?
... made me laugh out loud. I almost had a little toilet moment.
There are so many replies bursting out of my head at the moment that I shall have to sit in a darkened room to collect my thoughts and then I may manage to post something of (dubious) value.
Anal ytics - gotta love 'em.
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As a Linux user, the bag of kink besides my bed is a testimony to the fact that open source software users neither feel the need to use brand name products or the need to spend vast amounts on equipment when there are many common (and uncommon) items that perform the same function as well as (or better than) the kind of gear that the lazy or unimaginative would resort to buying.
Perhaps it's because iPad and iPhone owners become very bored with their toys very quickly and are immediately looking to upgrade to the latest and greatest "new" thing out there.
Just remember iTunes will have trawlled your every move, and don't be surprised if iAd starts serving up some, err, (in)appropriate ads shortly :)
Before assigning a place for Linux, more info is needed on the exact type of sex toy each user is buying. Apple users I'm guessing buy something flashy that causes them to finish in seconds, Windows users buy something dull and routine in an attempt to liven things up but ultimately results in failure and I'm guessing Linux users are a bunch of freaking perverts.
The article links to a male sex toy (describe as the world's greatest male masturbator - I beg to differ) and implies that it's the men who are buying all the sex toys. But most of the sex toys I've ever seen advertised in magazines (New Scientist, The Radio Times, The Big Issue, etc.) are for women.
Now it's obvious why a woman would choose Apple products, they're so user friendly (the products, not the women). QED.
...as one can view Flash movies perfectly well on a Mac, and I suspect that a high percentage of iPhone/iPad users also own a Mac. Of course, if an iPad user wants to view their pr0n whilst out and about that's another matter, since the current generation of iPads appear not to list DVD playback among their capabilities..
People who spell 'naughty' as 'nortie' are now going to spend a good long time bragging about how them and 'wifey' spend loads on all sorts of nobbly things to spice up their depressing suburban sex lives. These are likely to be the same people who think their 'alternative' lifestyle is a good substitute for an interesting one.
It's not that I don't believe you, it's just that I don't care. If your sex life is so fantastic then why do you feel the need to tell everyone about it? One feels you protest too much.
I suspect most Linux users have never seen the point of allowing Google Analytics to save cookies, and that most have never NoScript whitelisted it.
I've bought plenty of stuff from Lovehoney, using Linux every time - unless they log user agents, I doubt they know which OS I'm on.
I am able to able to change my 'distro' - I've got the same old equipment I can just choose what I want to put on it (fortunately not too many problems with compatability) and stay with it until I want to experiment with another version. ( NO, NOT Mandriva).
No need to shell out on 'apps' - life's interesting enough.
And there's no way I'd let my todger anywhere near the 'one flap mastubator'.
Sorry.. I've been to busy having sex to take any notice of ta intaweb or any silly little gadgets that aren't gonna enhance my love life more.. I can barely keep up with it in this heat as it is. :)
Perhaps apple users have all that extra time on their hands to shop for such items because they're 'not' getting any... or perhaps they simply like to go fuck themselves... they already like getting fucked by apple anyway.
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