back to article Loud sex ASBO woman spared jail again

The Tyne and Wear woman who simply cannot put a sock in it while making the beast with two backs has been spared jail for a second time. Caroline Cartwright, 49, was slapped with an ASBO back in April 2009, ordering her to refrain from "making excessive noise, knocking, shouting, screaming or vocalisation that can be heard in …


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  1. lansalot

    worthy of a re-run ?

    "Didn't the Police just ask her to come quietly?"


  2. LuMan

    Playmobil recreation required...

    ...along with soundtrack!

    1. Rafael 1


      There are still many vuvuzelas on the loose, El Reg may be tempted to use some on the soundtrack.

      Also, the lady in question is 49. Nothing against the age and the sex, but that isn't something I'd want to see.

  3. Matthew 17

    Can't they just move?

    Whinging neighbours are a PITA.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      <insert title here>

      well that's probably because you are an inconsiderate PITA.

      if you own your own home, then moving isn't usually an option

      if you don't own your own home, then you can usually piss off sharpish and it never makes the news

      and finally of course,

      if you live with your parents, then you should have no opinion on the matter unless you are the one causing the neighbours grief.

      guess which one I think you are?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      title required

      Perhaps its the defendant's husband that's a PITA..

  4. Rumcajz


    Sound recordings or it didn't happen*.

    And may I with all due respect suggest that a Playmobile re-enactment would be in order at some point, complete with audio component...

    Shouty icon to emphasize the recording level needed.

    * Please, no pictures...

    1. dogged


      No pictures.

      This is enough to guarantee that:

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward


        Bastard, I've just seen the photo and can only conclude that the noise wasn't her moaing but him lugging his mountaineering gear just so he could get on top of her. And the only reason he'd want to do that is in those famous words of Mallory, because it's there.

  5. Nathan 13

    The solution

    Stop her benefits. I GUARANTEE she would be a quiet as a mouse the second they did that.

    1. Marvin the Martian
      IT Angle

      Benefit stop?

      As in, stopping that gold-plated dole of 63quid/month?

      Alternatively, start building houses that are brick-cavity-brick (instead of halfbrick-cavity-brick) in thickness. Might save a lot on other structural problems and heating costs.

  6. lglethal Silver badge

    Hmm i thought the last time was the final chance?

    maybe ive missed something in the law, but usually when your given a suspended sentence it means if you break the law again in the period of time set then its a "Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200" type moment.

    It seems to me the neighbours let them get away with the rumpy pumpy, but then had to put up with excessively loud music. For me this just shows she has absolutely no regard for the neighbours and maybe a spell in chokey will convince her to show some respect. Instead i expect to read about her breaking the ASBO again in another 2 months...

    1. chr0m4t1c

      Yes, you missed something

      The previous sentence was suspended for 12 months from April 2009, so expired in April 2010, which is why she didn't go directly to jail.

      Also, the nature of the second offence would normally be taken into account by the courts. In this case she would probably have ended up in jail as it's the same offence, but if (for example) she had been caught speeding it's unlikely she would have been carted away as speeding does not normally lead to a custodial sentence.

      1. Boring Bob


        The ASBO was given in April 2009, the suspended sentence was given in January 2010

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    So what's the point of ASBOs and suspended sentences?

    Not just for this, but for everything. It's the same pattern whether it's middle aged women making noise in bed or teenage thugs pulling the windscreen wipers off cars.

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  9. Lionel Baden

    WTH !!!

    why the hell was she pulled up for loud music the following day

    The music item has fuck all (excuse the pun) to do with her loud lovemaking ....

    Not trying to defend her to much cause i wouldnt want her as my neighbour !!!

  10. JimC

    I predict plenty more suspended sentences

    Because no magistrate will want to be the one who actually sends her to gaol... The trouble is that should someone actually bite the bullet there will be about 5 years of suspended sentences to activate, and the more ridiculous the list of suspended sentences get the more reluctant anyone will be to be in the local headlines as "magistrate sent woman to jail for 5 years for..."

    Starting with the Asco was silly really, using a hammer to cut cake.

  11. TeeCee Gold badge

    "You have been given one last chance...."

    No point complaining then.

    She's just going to have to suck it up..........

  12. beardman

    I for one...

    I'm happy they STILL can make sex at this age. Despite the recent reports (and playmobil recreation) about it after 45-ies...

  13. James 139

    3 strikes

    Just need to start implementing a "3 strikes and youre out" policy, just not involving executions like the US.

    I believe a giant catapult facing out into the north sea should do the job, if you survive and make it back to land, youre let off.

  14. screaminfakah


    Dont Euros have the opportunity to buy their own house if they want privacy?? Here in the US you cant disturb your neighbors either when living in a crowed no privacy apartment.

    I had a girl like that once and thank goodness I have a mortgage and some freedom!

  15. Gordon is not a Moron


    "The Tyne and Wear woman who simply cannot put a sock in it while making the beast with two backs has been spared jail for a second time."

    If she's putting a sock in it, then she's doing it wrong....

  16. Version 1.0 Silver badge

    Get a web site

    and put her on it and inside of a month she'll have more than enough money to move somewhere else .... people pay good money for this sort of stuff!

    (not me of course - I know where to find it for free).

  17. Captain TickTock
    Paris Hilton

    This court is giving you one...

    fnarrh, fnarrh

    and welcome they are to it too.

    Paris, for obvious reasons

  18. Anonymous Coward

    Double Bagger.

    I'm amazed she 'gets it' frequently enough to be such a problem. Have you seen her? What a bush pig!!

    That being said; Good on her, I guess. Even fat ugly birds are entitled to a seeing to every now and then.

    1. No, I will not fix your computer

      I suspect....

      .... that it's him making all the screaming noises, he looks like her bitch and that expression on his face, that's from sitting down without his special pillow (strapon anyone?).

  19. DryBones

    Doing It Wrong

    Two words: Ball gag.

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