back to article Apple support-drone scripts leaked

Apple won't be appeasing anyone with a free bump case - a "leaked" script shows the apparent aim is to blame the customer, as long as the customer is at fault. Tech blog Boy Genius Report has laid its hands on the script that Apple support are allegedly using for those who call up with antenna problems. This explains how the …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. petur

    option #3

    buy a phone that actually works

    1. /\/\j17

      So much for "I buy Apple stuff because..."

      " just works".

  2. Code Monkey


    Apple really are a bit bobbins aren't they?

  3. Chris Hatfield

    A scandal

    How embarrasing for Apple. The LEAST they can do is give free bumpers for this very real problems. £29 is absurd for a piece of rubber that doesn't even protect it from being damaged when dropped.

    C'mon Apple, STOP BEING SO TIGHT, you make millions in profit. Give EVERYONE a bumper case. Now.

    1. Andy ORourke

      Read your own post!

      "C'mon Apple, STOP BEING SO TIGHT, you make millions in profit."

      You dont think they make millions in profit by giving stuff away for free do you?

      1. Neill Mitchell


        They make millions by enjoying a 43% mark up and then boasting about it.

    2. Marvin the Martian


      So can you or ElReg explain what's wrong with an aim "to blame the customer, as long as the customer is at fault"?

      Seems right to me to treat customers as adults instead of spoiled brats whose tantrums must be avoided in public at the cost of giving away presents for no reason.

  4. adnim


    of Apple products is generally very good. So good in fact that I presume they perform a pretty high level of QA testing of devices before releasing to retail.

    I would hazard a guess that this reception issue was most certainly discovered. Rightly or wrongly so, I have come to the conclusion that they just don't care. In fact I would go as far as to say they likely saw this flaw as a bonus when they realised that they could separate their customers from even more cash for a rubber band.

    1. John Browne

      quality me arse..

      "Quality of Apple products is generally very good. So good in fact that I presume they perform a pretty high level of QA testing of devices before releasing to retail."

      hahahahahahahahahahahaha... I nearly fell off my chair when I read this.

      Apple have a buy quantity buy cheap philosophy when it comes to part procurement. Quality seems to be a secondary concern

      1. Anonymous Coward


        Yeah, that's why their products retain a resale value that is the envy of most in the IT world.

        1. g e


          Super Mario Galaxy from Nintendo for the Wii, of course...

          And that has even cheaper components....

          1. Neill Mitchell

            Oh no!

            Does Mario drop calls as well making it not fit for purpose?

  5. Version 1.0 Silver badge

    Not a big deal

    I don't see this as a big deal - all you have to do is tape a coat-hanger to the right side of the iPhone and the signal strength goes way up.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge

      Re: Not a big deal

      Ah, the iPhone. Channelling the design spirit of the Austin Allegro.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I've got an iPhone 3GS and was interested to read above that this issue also supposedly affects the 3GS but on the lower right-hand corner, rather than the left, as on the iPhone 4.

    I've never noticed it, but decided to test it out anyway.

    Starting with a full signal, if I cup my hand and fingers around the lower right front & back corner of the phone, within about 10-15 seconds, the signal has dropped to just 1 bar.

    Then, if I remove my hand completely, within about 10-15 seconds, the signal returns to a full 5 bars again.

    The most surprising thing about this to me, is that in almost a years 3GS usage, I'd never even seen it before or ever been noticeably affected by it - yet clearly the issue (not a problem in my case) does exist.

    Also interesting, is that Nokia's phone manuals mention this issue for many of their phones too:

    1. Oliver Mayes


      My 3GS is the same, I never noticed that before. 5 bars drops to 1 when i hold it then goes right back to 5 as soon as i let go. How did I never notice this before?

  7. DrXym

    All phones suffer from the same problem?

    Bollocks do they. Most phones sensibly don't put the antenna in a place where handling the device in a normal way causes signal degration. This is a design flaw pure and simple.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down


      Normal, hmmm, a bit of a minefield going with that argument.

      What I would say is that all phones will suffer reception problems if you cover their signal in some way. And that is not a design flaw.

      1. DrXym

        Not saying other phones are perfect

        Lots of phones have faults of one kind or another and I'm sure some have issues caused by sensitivity to interference or whatnot. But Apple is implying that every other phone suffers severe signal degration through handling so therefore their severe signal degradation isn't their fault.

        Most other phones sensibly pack their antenna inside the case for starters (for good reason) so it's typically not going to matter how you hold it unless your jewellry / watch interfered in some way. So Apple's claim is bollocks.

      2. TeeCee Gold badge


        Hardly, my non-Apple device does it too. The thing is, it only does it if I hold it upside-down, 'cos the antenna's at the top!

        Putting the antenna in a place where the user's hand covers it when it's being used normally? You're right, you probably can't call that a "design flaw", as a "legendarily fuckwitted piece of monumental incompetance" is far more appropriate.

    2. Adam Salisbury

      Here, here

      I tried this for laugh on my SE Satio (quiet day in the office!) and only with much patience manged to drop 2 bars maximum and losing 2 bars while 'obscuring' the antenna is understandable, dropping signal altogether is a sign of a rushed release of an unfinished product after a leak that undermined a meticulously planned marketing offensive.

      Simples, as the painfully annoying meerkat would say...

  8. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    Or you could embrace your piratical* side and get yourself a hook instead...

    Excellent idea! You review a SIM-cutter in another article, to turn your existing SIM into a microSIM.

    Why can't we have an arm-cutter, to slice your hand off and install a hook in one (relatively) pain-free and easy step. No waste, no mess, no hassle!

    ...runs off to trademark and patent the new iHook...

    * I originally read this as your practical, rather than piratical, side. I'm not sure what that says about me.

  9. Anonymous Coward

    Fit for purpose?

    This seems to me like a cut and dry issue for trading standards. Clearly the product is not "fit for purpose" and as such falls foul of the Sale Of Goods act.

    The product is being used in the way that one would expect to, and it is failing to perform the function for which is was sold. Simple. Saying "it's not designed to be held like that" is like saying "sorry - your washing machine is not designed to wash socks". I simple don't see the argument in favour of Apple's stance here.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down

      @AC re: some juvenile argument

      Then take it back for a refund, and stop trying to whip everyone into a class action suit.

      1. g e


        Nothing would upset Jobs more than having to give refunds now instead of a coupla million after a protracted class action suit.

        Do it.

      2. Adam Salisbury

        So you're an iTw@ then?

        To me that looks, sounds anad smells like an enitrely reasonable and logical arguement, your aversion to which makes me think you're a bitter fanboi and new owner of Jobs revolutionary and magical lump of pyrite.

  10. Anonymous Coward

    BBC Radio 4 You and Yours Consumer Advisor says:

    That if Apple stores are giving away bump cases for free to some customers (such as the guy on the program) then all customers are entitled to them. However if you accept a case as a resolution you may not be entitled to your money back, or a free fix upgrade when the issue is resolved.

    UK consumer laws says that a device must be fit for purpose, if not then you can demand rectification or get your money back/ void any contracts. No case has been tested yet to see if the signal fail deems it unfit for purpose, however it could be considered likely.

    Lawyers, on your marks...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      But don't forget!

      Your complaint is with the retailer not the manufacturer.

      If you bought it from an Apple store that's convenient to have the two of them together.

      If you bought it from eg CPW then that's where you "should" go to complain. and they can't tell you its Apple's problem. You bought it from them, its their problem to sort out. Though you might have better luck dealing with Apple.

      Bought it on a credit card, you can get the card issuer involved if you reject the phone by getting the refund out of them if shop isn't playing nicely.

  11. vincent himpe

    lefties and righties

    the real reason they swapped the position is so that they can visually spot who has a 3GS and who has a 4 .

    just put your pinky in the air. That'll act as antenna then.

  12. Joe Ragosta

    Real world results

    Read Anand's article on the subject. They determined that even with the 'flaw', reception on the iPHone 4 surpasses the iPhone 3GS or other phones. THAT is what really matters, not the number of bars.

    That coincides with my experience. If I go out of my way to do something I wouldn't normally do, I can make the number of bars drop. If I use the phone normally, I get a LOT fewer dropped calls than I got with the iPhone 3 (actually, I haven't had a single dropped call with the iPhone 4 yet) and call quality is better.

    Look at the geometry. If you want to hold the phone with the lower left corner cupped in your palm while making a phone call, you have to twist your arm so that your elbow is in the middle of your chest - not the most comfortable way to make a call. If I simply hold it normally for making a call, my fingers are no where near the black stripe.

    Giving away bumpers is not a cost issue. It's simply a matter of Apple not wanting to do something stupid. Bumpers won't solve the problem and most people don't have a problem, anyway. So why should they tell 2 M customers that there's a problem and here's a free bumper to fix the problem when only a tiny fraction actually experience the problem in real life? That would be terrible PR.

    It's a great phone. If you don't like it, feel free to return it for a refund.

    1. david bates

      What other phones...?

      My Nexus has never dropped a call in 3 months of ownership. As far as I can remember neither did the N73 the preceded it, or the V cheap Moto I have as a spare.

      I have had phones in the past that dropped calls, but I dont think anything in the last five years or so...

      If I had a phone that dropped calls regularly enough for it to be commented upon it would be finding itself back at the shop PDQ.

    2. Anonymous Coward


      I'd like you to meet my friend - it's called a little finger. It tends to be somewhere near the bottom of a phone when I hold it.

  13. bruceld
    Jobs Halo

    Jobs' Bitches

    For all fanbois, and you are used to this by now:

    - Everything Steve Jobs says is of biblical proportion, must be obeyed, and must never be questioned.

    - You must defend him and his products at all costs.

    - You must believe all marketing word(s) that Steve Jobs uses such as, magical, revolutionary, incredible, awesome, amazing, really great, etc. You must instantly believe those descriptions and you must always use those same words to describe it to everyone that you see using a non-Apple product.

    - You must forward your money for his next product release whether or not you need it.

    - You must praise every product whether or not it works.

    - You must never under an circumstance consider buying or ever use any competing Apple product. If you find someone using a non-Apple product you must instantly sing the praises of Apple and encourage everyone to buy Apple.

    - If your Apple product does not work as promised you must still call it magical, revolutionary, incredible, awesome, amazing, really great, etc. You also must be sure to sing the praises of Apple and defend your defective product to everyone at all costs. In addition you must tell everyone that any flaws that Apple has is actually a magical, revolutionary, incredible, awesome, amazing and really great intentional design, and that others that have issues with their Apple product are simply not using it right.

    - You are an Apple cult member - a technological 'Scientologist'; but of course you must deny this to everyone.

  14. Jeremy 2
    Jobs Horns

    A fiver...

    ...on Apple deeming the support script to be a "trade secret" and firing a takedown notice at the blogger who posted it.

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like