Middle-aged sex: The X-rated photo guide

Our recent sobering piece on middle-aged sex, indicating that after 45 it's downhill all the way between the sheets, prompted some of you to request, nay demand, the traditional El Reg guide. Naturally, we're happy to oblige. Those of you who are already spiralling uncontrollably towards old timerdom will probably greet what …

[Sekundra]

Thank Vulture it's Friday :)

NMTS (Nothing more to say)

[Boris the Cockroach]

DIsgusting

Young children might be able to see this filth and what of the poor people taking part???

I demand you tranfer your address to the new .sex domain where your perversions will never have to be seen again by decent people.

Except when they want to crack one off

[M 6]

wahey

this brightened my day :)

[Anonymous Coward]

Saturday-night 22 minutes of hot luuurv action

According to the this mornings Telegraph 10 minutes is ideal, more than 13 excessive and 3-7 acceptable. They also have an article that claims yawning is a sign of sexual attraction. In one day I've turned into a super stud pussy magnet.

[John G Imrie]

Re: Saturday-night 22 minutes of hot luuurv action

Yeah, but just how old is the editor of the Telegraph?

[Anonymous Coward]

13 minutes excessive!

I'm finding it takes longer and longer as time goes by (certainly more than 13 minutes!) Not that the missus seems to mind. I do worry about my cardiac health, however.

[Disco-Legend-Zeke]

Viagra...

...was developed as a treatment for congestive heart failure. Those annoying erections are merely a side effect.

[Anonymous Coward]

Class

Pure class.

[Pete 2]

Autobiographical?

If Lester is writing from personal experience, all I can do is offer my sympathies and a reference to Wired Magazine's article from some years back entitled "Hard Drugs" (geddit?). As an <ahem> 50-year old myself I can say that my perfect partner is someone my own age, or failing that: 2 * 25 year olds.

[Uncle Slacky]

Bravo!

Excellent stuff!

[frank ly]

Wonderful!

Thank you! :)

[Juan Inamillion]

Superb!

One of the best - EVAR!

[Graham Marsden]

I just had to give this article...

... one up!

(That's one upward rating...!)

[James Thomas]

Wow

I didn't know Lego make 'Perv Scanner' sets!

[oldredlion]

Quality!

'nuff said.

[Code Monkey]

Superb

Where's the standing ovation icon?

[Captain TickTock]

Don't you mean...

standing ovulation icon?

Yeah I know...

[Anonymous John]

Yay!

It's Friday!

[S Larti]

Brilliant

Made my day!

Which shows what a dull, sagging middle ages Friday I'm having...

[Anonymous Coward]

One question,...

where's the Moderatrix's dog while all this is going on?

[Anonymous Coward]

Dog

You really, really, don't want to know.

[Anonymous Coward]

slow news day...

Obviously

[Bob Sanders]

Great way to end the week

In the future the Pervinator P3000 will come back to the past and make sure this article never happens.

[Fred Mbogo]

@AC 12:00

Most likely savaging the intern that they assigned to write further BOFH episodes...while she whacks him in the head with her steely ruler. We really need a Moderatrix icon :D

[Martin 49]

One for the guys

Ever wondered why she prefers it with the lights off?

Put a mirror on the floor and assume the missionary

(press-up) position with your face over the mirror...

....you handsome dog you...

[Cunningly Linguistic]

The Lifestyle

Hmm, if this were the case then how come my local swinger's club is stocked full of carnally interested middle-agers?

Looks like the survey only covered long-time married middle-class middle-agers.

Long live the 50-something horn dog!!

[Mr Grumblefish]

Pure Brilliance

that last pic!

[Peter Gathercole]

Best Playmobile re-enactment yet!

What, you can't put a blank comment in, even though the title says it all!

[Graham Bartlett]

@CL

And you know this for why...?

[Cunningly Linguistic]

Shrug

<placeholder mode="lascivious grin">NWWBCS (Now What Would Bill Clinton Say?)</placeholder>

[Anonymous Coward]

I've still got it.

As a > 40 man, I take exception to the tone of this article. Furthermore... um, what was I talking about? zzz....zzz...zzz...zzz...

[Anonymous Coward]

Where is Optimus?

Thought Optimus would have got involved in on the action...

[LuMan]

What The FUDGE!!

WTF is that dog doing on the second pic on page 3??? Are we looking at the bestiality with two backs here???

[heyrick]

Great photos

I liked the illustrative photos. Oh, the magic of Playmobil...

[Jeremy 2]

Lovely

Second time I've used that title on an El Reg comment in the space of a week, I think...

[Anonymous Coward]

Surely one of the best

And yet, not a single brewski offered for such fine work. I'm impressed.

[Trevor_Pott]

HELL

YES.

It's friday. Go El Reg!

[Anonymous Coward]

A work of art

Centuries from now, people will still admire the genuis that inspired these incredible and powerful playmobl images. Unfortunately, we'll be dead by then and unable to explain how funny it all was at the time.

Great stuff!! Whoo hoo

[Anonymous Coward]

That was really good

Clever, Funny and technically brilliant.

Kudos to the artist.

[Solomon Grundy]

Favorite

This is my favorite Playmobile reenactment yet!

[Pirate Dave]

Greatest

use of Playmobil equipment ever. Genius. It's Genius I tell you.