back to article Sozzled Oz bozos in reciprocal literal ass-cap-pop

Two 34-year-old Oz men ended up in hospital after drunkenly deciding it would be a wheeze to shoot each other in the arse with an air rifle. According to Sky News, a police spokesman explained: "The men were sharing a few beers on Sunday evening when they thought it would be interesting to see if they shot one another with an …


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  1. mmm mmm


    This is the sort of stuff that makes my day.

  2. irish donkey

    If they had blow their balls off..................

    they could have qualified for a Darwin Award.

    As it is epic fail!

    1. Tiny Iota

      Not quite...

      They were roughly three and a half thousand kilometres away from a Darwin award

  3. Daniel Wilkie


    You need a firearms license for an air rifle in Oz?

    I'd have thought anything upto flamethrowers would be available to all, to deal with the large numbers of freaky-ass spiders...

    Flames because, well, kill it with fire.

    1. George Nacht

      Article does not say...

      ..that they needed a licence to shoot an air gun. However, in this case I believe that a person, capable of shooting another person with pretty much anything that penetrates skin, just for fun, is not a person that should have a permit, period.

      It seems to be better than to wait, until they try the same stuff with 12 Gauge birdshots...

    2. Stone Fox

      re: wait

      You need a licence for an air rifle in the Uk... if the rifle in in question is over 12 lb/ft.

    3. Rogerborg


      "You need a firearms license for an air rifle in Oz?"

      In UKistan, you can and should have your firearms license(s) withdrawn for getting up to non-firearm related shenanigans. Shooting someone in the arse with an air rifle would seem to be a fine reason to take any bang-guns off of the chap in question.

  4. myhandle


    When I was younger, I had some cousiins that did something similar, but with 22 rifles. They didn't actually shoot each other, just played around shooting close to each other. My brother on the other hand had an air rifle and said "Run or I'll shoot". I didn't run and he shot. Hurt like hell. Another brother shot me with a home made crossbow. Luckily it was somewhat wimply but it didnt' happen to have a barbed nail on it. I found it was an accident at the time, years later he told me it was on purpose.

  5. hugo tyson

    Slug pellets

    Telegraph News reported they have slug pellets in their bums. Not slugs, or pellets, but slug pellets, which are IMO something else entirely.

  6. Thomas 18
    Thumb Up

    "something will hopefully form around them"

    So reassuring to hear doctors use words like "something" and "hopefully"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Good thing then

      that it wasn't the doctors that said so, but the policeman.

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. RichardB

    Siounded suprisingly reasonable until I got to

    the bit where it seemed to indicate that each had more than one pellet so deep they couldn't extract... I mean - 1 each sounds like science, more than one, well, that's got to be political.

  9. Hieronymus Coward

    Dingo stole my baby...

    Gotta love these kinda people - you can just hear the conversation...

    "Go on it won't hurt much. And then you can shoot me!"

    "Fuck it! Why bloody not! Just mind the face."

    I would be the one standing well back struggling to breath from laughing.

    If people want to do stupid/dangerous things to each other and they are in agreement and it doesn't directly hurt anyone else then it's all good.

    Title? Because there are two things that sum up Australia for me. Baby stealing Dingos and Steve 'little bugger bit me, jumped up, sunk his teeth right in!' Irwin (god rest his soul).

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    that's brightened myu work day

    Hahahahahahhaa, what a pair of arses.

  11. Morpho Devilpepper


    Reminds me of "A Christmas Story." Except it's "You'll shoot your brown eye out!".

  12. Graham Wilson

    Welcome to Bozo Land (formally Australia) where the IQ-forsaken reign supreme.

    Welcome to Bozo Land (formally Australia) where the IQ-forsaken reign supreme.

    In addition to shooting each other in the arse whilst drunk, we Bozo-Landers have achieved new heights in idiocy over the last 40 or so years, we're now the laughingstock of the world fit only for providing comic relief as in this El reg article.

    Here's just a few instances, there are many more:

    - We've closed down strategically important industries that are key to Australia's survival in the world of the 21st Century. Longstanding electronics and other high-tech industries have been allowed to fail in a high-tech policy vacuum.

    - We've closed down key defence and armaments manufacturing industries, we now assemble, kit fashion, weapons from a former enemy (another example of where the victors eventually end up the looser). We've even closed down the factories that were used to manufacture army uniforms and fatigues, now they are made offshore! (Heaven help us if we're ever involved in any future full-scale conflict a la scale of WWII.)

    - We've taken no steps to replace these failing high-tech industries with new ones. Countries with comparable cultures but with only half our population such as Sweden, Austria, Israel, Finland and Norway all have industrial infrastructures together with an industrial culture that by comparison make Australia--sorry Bozo Land--look like a joke.

    - To wit, almost every good Australian invention has been sold off to overseas buyers at rock-bottom prices; they then develop and market them with enormous profits them, not us!

    - We've killed off or debased most trades--metal, woodworking etc.--to the extent that getting a professional job done in these industries is nigh on impossible, or it's prohibitively expensive or that the skills have to be imported from overseas. The average Bozo-Lander has the view that making something useful and practical or crafting things with one's hands is debasing--much better to be a banker who can create credit out of nothing then screw into the ground the poor unfortunates who cannot repay the morally questionable usury within the allotted time frame.

    - Skilled tradesmen are in such a decline that a recent 'Green' initiative by the Federal Labor Government to thermally insulate homes has resulted in one of the great debacles of recent times. So shoddy and haphazard the workmanship of the unskilled workers, that there are many instances where electrically-conductive foiled insulation has been stapled to roofs through power cables. Workers have been electrocuted and houses have burned down. Forty or more years ago, such unprofessional workmanship would never have been tolerated. In that milieu well established trades based training schemes instilled a culture of pride in one's work and a do-it-once-do-it-well attitude across the workforce which would have seen the current perpetrators ostracised to the extent they wouldn’t be game to frequent the local pub not to mention the beating they'd have received from regulators. Overseas readers not familiar with this debacle ought to Google 'Australia home insulation scheme' or go here: Not only is this a Monty Python like saga without the laughs, it's a fucking tragedy caused by incompetent fuckwits.

    - We've stuffed our education system, filled it with dross, fairy floss and degenerate post-modernist ideas. Where facts are no longer facts; where right and wrong mishmash into possible maybes; where rigorous science has turned into 'ooh ah--look at that pretty effect'; where mathematics stops at compound interest--for that's all banker's really need to be successful; where spelling need be only good enough for phone texting; where grammar is so bad that its, it's and its' all mean the same or are fully interchangeable with each other. And where kids rule the teachers instead of the other way around.

    - Oh, BTW, thanks to the failed education system, chemistry is now so little understood that Bozo Land is full of tragics who are terrified all chemicals, irrespective of properties, benign or otherwise. Ignorance of even the most basic facts about chemistry allows the scaremongers, zealot Greenies, irresponsible news media and that leech on society--the expensive, overpriced and inefficient safety industry--to whip up a frightening frenzy in the community the instant the word 'chemical' is mentioned.

    - We Bozo-Landers have an addictive penchant for fighting in other people's wars, moreover we've been at it headlong since at least the Boer War (1899-1902)--WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan for example. We're forever trying to prove to the world that we've got what it takes; it's tragic for those involved and in the wash-up we look like the irrelevant idiots that we really are. [IMHO, the only 'legitimate' war we've been in was WWII when there was an imminent possibility of the nation being invaded, the rest were, are and will remain tragic follies.]

    - We've killed off free university education--the once envy of the world we've turned into one of the most expensive university education systems anywhere on the planet.

    - We've turned our universities from education into profit centres that are good at milking rich overseas students of their money. Our universities 'sell' degrees to the plagiarised-prone. Between Wiki--the key source for the plagiariser--and the dollar, these overseas students walk away with dubious qualifications and they do so at the expense of the existing population, many of who cannot afford the outrageous fees.

    - We've allowed governments to abrogate responsibly for providing just the opportunity for ongoing lifelong education; or for failing to retrain or reskill the workforce in instances where industries have been closed down or 'sold off' to other countries (usually with the blessing of the incumbent Government).

    - We've close to zero technical people in parliament. Lawyers, accountants, bankers and dilettantes who are not good enough to make it in the outside world govern Bozo Land. Bozo-Landers are too blind to see what a deleterious effect this is having on just about every aspect of the nation. These parliamentary Bozos who wouldn’t know one end of a screwdriver from another are left unfettered to make decisions about sophisticated technical issues which confront our society--witness the 'Home Insulation Scheme (above). A raucous, irresponsible and equally dumb media/press aid and abet them in keeping Bozo Land free of rigorous or intellectual discussion and debate, what there is exists only in tiny enclaves that are too small for mainstream Bozo-Landers to bother killing off.

    - It is no wonder Lee Kuan Yew, Prime Minister Singapore (1959 to 1990), succinctly summed us up when he once called us 'The poor white trash of Asia'.

    I've had to truncate this for exceeding the maximum post length. Perhaps I'll post the missing section later.

    1. asiaseen

      Apart from that

      you like the place?

      1. Graham Wilson

        @asiaseen - The physical country's great but the system sucks.

        The physical country's great but the system sucks. As a square peg in a round hole, I wish I could get out but my passport says this is home.

    2. Paul 129

      Too true

      Google the quote "The lucky country".

      1. Graham Wilson

        The irony of 'The Lucky Country' hurts.

        It's ironic that Donald Horne made his comments about 'The Lucky Country' when I was at school.

        He was correct when he made the statement in 1964 and he still is. The intervening 46 years have shown us that Australia's longstanding and continuing attitude of 'all's well in manana land' has led us further into deep water.

        Pessimistically, I'm of the opinion that Australia will have to near drown and experience a near-death experience before attitudes change significantly. As we've seen, Horne's warning is nearly a half century old and nothing's changed except for the worse.

    3. Magani

      Is 'Sir' a title?

      It is with great regret that I have to agree.

      I note we've just rearranged the deckchairs on the HMAS Canberra this morning. 1st Mate Julia is now at the helm of the great ship of state having seen off Capt Kevin07.

      Think it'll make any difference? I don't. :-(

      Grenade, cos that's wot needs to be shoved up the fundamental orifice of half (all?) the pollies.


      1. Graham Wilson
        Thumb Up

        @ Magani - Re 'Think it'll make any difference? I don't.'

        'Think it'll make any difference? I don't.'

        ...Nor do I.

        As I say in my reply to Ratus Ratus, we've lost an ethos and attitudes over a long time. Reckon it'll take more time than 1st Mate Julia has to fix it (assuming she could or would).

        The fix will be long process and I'm unsure Australia has the will to bother.

    4. Anonymous Coward

      Jeez mate, lighten up!

      Some countries have real problems, including war, famine, etc.

      Yes, our leaders are fuckwits. We are not uniquely burdened with that handicap.

      Nor is it unique that our education systems are perpetually criticised.

      True, we are not good at manufacturing. We don't need to be.

      Regardless of how you feel about it, we have always derived the bulk of our national income from primary resources, and that will most likely continue for at least the next 100 years.

      Other countries are much better at manufacturing, because if they weren't, they wouldn't survive.

      Oh, BTW, our average IQ is (not surprisingly) average in comparison with the rest of the world.

      The glass is not half empty, it is damn near full.

      1. Graham Wilson

        I understand your optimistic perspective even if I disagree with it.

        I understand your optimistic perspective even if I disagree with it.

        In a newer post further on I mention that a substantive reason for my comments is my experience working in non-English speaking countries where attitudes are very different and most of the points I've mentioned are non-issues.

        Anyway, you're lucky, optimists in general have a happier life.

    5. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      My oh my

      A bit sour there, no ?

    6. Graham Wilson

      Reading one's own posts is often embarrassing.

      Reading one's own posts is often embarrassing and I'm experiencing the cringes. In the very paragraph where I whinge about today's education being so bad that it can't even teach the use of apostrophe I commit a similar grammatical sin myself.

      It might have been 4am but that's no excuse. One consolation: I was educated in a system that taught me to recognise the error.


  13. Rattus Rattus

    As a fellow Australian

    I really, really wish I could disagree with you on even one of your above remarks. It is with great sadness I find I cannot.

    1. Graham Wilson
      Thumb Up

      I too wish that I could disagree with my comments.

      When I entered high school years ago, attitudes were very different. The education system was far from being perfect but it was strongly based on core values and rational thinking processes that have a long and successful lineage way back to the Renaissance and the Enlightenment. Since then, we in Australia have unwittingly or otherwise disposed with much of that type of thinking and replaced it with some of the worst aspects of postmodernism*. The same has also happened in most of the English-speaking world but Australia's culture, being younger and more fragile, stands to be in a more perilous position when things go wrong, which I believe they have.

      When I was being educated, I don't believe that I would have mentioned any of these issues except perhaps for my reference to politicians. As with the frog in warming water, we don't realise these effects until it's too late.

      What really awoke me to the seriousness of these issues was my experience working in non-English speaking industrialised countries both in Asia and in Europe. In many ways, these countries are running to the traditional paradigm as we once were and unsurprisingly many of the points that I've raised are essentially non-issues there.

      A summary of my long-winded whinge is that we've lost an ethos and attitudes that worked reasonably well and we've replaced them without sufficient questioning. Essentially, we in Australia have chucked out the intellectual underpinnings of the Enlightenment which we inherited from and which were hard won by Britain over hundreds of years (and to a lesser extent of the USA's enlightened period--that of Jefferson, Franklin et al).

      Thus, in the highly anti-intellectual climate of Australia where little serious debate takes place, it's unsurprising that much has gone wrong.


      * Not all aspects of postmodernism are bad; in fact, I believe some are positive for society.

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