Middle-aged sex is crap: Official

A study of 1,752 weary adults has shown that after the age of 45, it's downhill all the way when it comes to getting your end away. The rot actually sets in at 40, according to Kwai Garlic, which commissioned the survey. Three-quarters of those quizzed said that's the age at which sex started to become less of an earth-moving …

[Arnold Lieberman]

"down" to 22 minutes per week?

I must have missed something (or rather, am missing).

[Josco]

IT Angle?

Mathematically interesting, but the IT angle is....?

Well over 50 myself so found it difficult to even read the article.

Paris - because I have never used her before and never will again.

[Blake St. Claire]

Re:

The IT angle is -- of course -- that stronger glasses/spectacles are needed to see the bootnotes heading.

[Anonymous Coward]

Kwai Garlic?

You're not coming near me with your breath smelling like that!

[LuMan]

Is it so wrong..

....to request a Playmobil depiction of this?

[Havin_it]

Is it worth it?

It'd be either a couple of saggy Playmates (terminology?) in a bed just reading a book, or a darkened room. What's the point?

I'll get my dressing-gown...

[Anonymous Coward]

the ages of 29, 32 and 36

Why the dips in form at ages 30-31 and 33-35?

We need to know.

[Anonymous Coward]

maybe

30-31 Marriage

33-35 Kids

[Anonymous Coward]

a

I think you'll find that may be just for those who choose not to experiment. It's no surprise that most BDSM groups are full of middle ages folks, often who've divorced from boring partners.

Unhappy because more of us young people should be adventurous too.

[S Larti]

Another bloody survey labelled Official?

I'd say something but I probably haven't got the energy to drag my sagging body to the keyboard...

[Anonymous Coward]

Spookily truthful

Those buggers must've been reading my diaries!

[Eddy Ito]

The next questions

Is there a tie with the medications and obesity studies? Do the meds make us less randy and does pumping all that extra mass 'round the middle mean we tire quicker? Really, I need to know what to expect in the next all too few years.

[Lionel Baden]

there i fixed it :)

'round the middle mean we tyre quicker?

ok ok im going

[Lottie]

@ does pumping all that extra mass 'round the middle mean we tire quicker?

yes, we spare tyre quicker

I'll get me coat

[Anonymous Coward]

Shit

I'm 44, and that article was written by someone with a spycam in my house (a low light one, because the lights are off)

Bastards.

[censored]

Once a week?

I'll be lucky

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Once a week?

Obviously you're not a fan of the Carry On films otherwise you'd know that "Once a week is enough for any man."

Dr. Tinkle (Kenneth Williams): Matron, you may not realize it but I was once a weak man!

Matron (Hattie Jacques) : Doctor, once a week is enough for any man!

[amanfromMars 1]

Look on the Bright Side

When Sex is Bad is Love Missing and Passion AWOL?!.

[Anonymous Coward]

Mid Life Crisis??

That's why you see so many over 45's driving high powered sports cars with women half their age , an extension of their whatever.

Was only getting started at 45 having sired my second daughter around that age.

Mines is the one with the Canadian Pharmacy blue pills in the pocket.

[Anonymous Coward]

Pictures or it didn't happen

Oh, so that's why there are no piccies...

[Anonymous Coward]

Tai Chi

...is the way forward. It'll keep you fit and healthy and full o' beans. Made a *huge* difference to my sex life.

[Gil Grissum]

Still Randy at 46

It's absolutely no problem for me. I'm still quite Randy at 46 and quite able to perform. My lovely accountant girlfriend age 30 is giving me the workout of my life and helping me burn a ton of calories and shed the middle. Nutt'n but love. Get in shape and get back to the shaggin, I say.

[Sarah Bee]

Re: Still Randy at 46

"I am very virile and have a hot young girlfriend but I don't feel the need to boast about it to strangers on the internet."

[Anonymous Coward]

@Sarah Bee

When you're 46 you might have changed your mind.

[Anonymous Coward]

@Sarah Bee - Still Randy at 46

Hey Sarah, you seem sarcastic and regard that guy as boasting, but this IS a discussion on whether you can still be randy in middle age. Therefore his post is relevant and valid.

It's no different from (say) a discussion on a Dynocorp Eyeblaster video card where someone says it doesn't work with Linux versions after 2.4. Then someone else says his Eyeblaster video card works fine with v2.6.23 - and you chip in to accuse him of boasting!

To add to the statistics, I am well over 45 and don't have the problem either, although (to my knowledge) I have never tried it with an accountant. In fact if anything it has got better as I have grown calmer about it as I have got older.

[Trevor_Pott]

Hear, hear

Best way to lose weight is good cardio. Sex fits the bill.

[David Simpson 1]

It's always all downhill when you're going down a hill....

So they measured how people contextualise sexual encounters and gave us some random statistics describing how people felt about their bodies at the exact time they were ticking the box.

So much of this can be culturally biased, Why does anyone pay for this sudo scientific nonsense?

[frank ly]

you got me

I tried typing 'sudo scientific nonsense' on a Linux command line and my computer froze up! What was that about?

[Blake St. Claire]

sudo intelligence

I tried it to, but got "sudo: scientific: command not found" instead of my computer freezing.

similar results for `sudo intelligence` and `sudo teach me to spell`.

Curiously , `sudo make me a sandwich` had a slightly different result.

[Anonymous Coward]

When you're going downhill, you pick up speed.

So why do I feel like I'm slowing down?

[Muth]

ROFL

Unbelievable piece of fiction, as clearly the only people who commented in the poll were the sex starved portion of the 45+ population. Sex is fabulous, with the right partner of course... ;)

[Blubster]

Rubbish!

I'm 55 and have sex nearly every night.

I nearly had it last night, and nearly had it the night before and so ad infinitum.

[Punit]

45 is "middle aged"?

Really?

[Jan 0]

45 is very middling!

0 - 30 young

30 - 60 middle

60 - * old

[Bucky 2]

Not really.

"Middle aged" would be life expectancy divided by two. So 45 would only be middle-aged if your life expectancy were 90 years old.

45 is therefore POST middle-aged, unfortunately.

[James Pickett]

@Sarah

Spot on, as usual :-)

(I'm 58 and I admit nothing)

[Jon Wilson]

Re: Still Randy at 46

Accountant you say? Phwoar!

[Anonymous Coward]

Ah! memories...

"while 64 per cent only make love with the lights off"

On our honeymoon, the wife wanted to make love with the lights on, so I left the car door open.

[Laurent_Z]

Hey, read it all...

It's a study on...married couples...

The counter study should be made in a place like Pattaya, where at 45 you are a young springy buck getting ready for the second threesome of the day...

Up, because the article is already full of downess

[Inachu]

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's more fun with a younger woman.

[Ken Hagan]

"completely shattered"

Is this a problem? Surely if you've any energy left at the end then you stopped too soon.

[Anonymous Coward]

For what it's worth...

THIS is not the way it is supposed to be. I am 62. But look to be in my 40's -early 50's. I am not a vegetarian, but eat more than my share of vegetables. I have been ( 4 yrs ago ) a huge steak / chops & ribs eater. I wondered WHAT IS HAPPENING to my libido?? FIX IT!!!! ... NOW it's salads. Poultry and Fish, ( baked ). Oatmeal. Fruit, and such. My blood-pressure is MUCH better. Proper Sleep aids memory. Taking Vitamin C crushed into powder later in the day, along with the Oatmeal for breakfast helps keeps arteries clear of plaque. This ALONE aids male potency. And confidence. The great thing is I am now sought after. Again Flabby, NO. Exhausted, NO. Running NO. NOT GOOD. Jogging better but not needed. Brisk walking? AHA. YES. 5x weekly. THIS is my LIFE! My BODY for LIFE! Take care of it. Your body is as one of my research associates says the FINEST machine on earth! Take care of it.

[George of the Jungle]

Bah

All fine pieces of machinery need some grease now and again. :)

[Anonymous Coward]

Rubbish!

I'm 44 and have sex most nights of the week. Sometimes for several hours at a time. The survey respondents must be making the mistake of having it with someone else.

[asiaseen]

In other words

the best orgasms are hand made.

[Puck]

What happened...

...to the innumerable surveys proclaiming sex got better with age?! I think I feel a bit heartbroken at reading this story. No more confirming difficulty of old age please. Jon

[Anonymous Coward]

Once a week?

At age 45+?

Riiiiight.

Once every 4-6 months I'd have believed.

[Anonymous Coward]

Only four years

and I'll be having my 22 minutes of sex a week. Can't wait!

Oh wait, is this not a statutory right?

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow

Physical capabilities decline with age shocker.

63% of retirees indicated that their monthly love-making attempt was accompanied by a somewhat off-putting creaking sound.

[Chemist]

Re : Wow

"63% of retirees indicated that their monthly love-making attempt was accompanied by a somewhat off-putting creaking sound."

They should get a new bed or whatever !

[Atilla the Hun (No relation)]

<smug mode>

That is all.

</smug mode>

[Davey Bee]

@ for what it's worth: 22 June 21:25

"I am 62. But look to be in my 40's -early 50's".

You self-deluded, conceited pillock. No you don't. And anyway, how could you know that? Oh sorry, I forgot - you probably continually ask people how old they think you are. And maybe they're nice to you. God help us all (and especially our daughters) from creeps that think they look young.

[crowley]

reality not congruent with your patronising

That's not impossible.

At 29, I got ID'd buying alcohol.

At 34, in a pub with a mate, got talking to some random and was asked what PhD I was doing... 'how old do you think I am?' I asked, the answer - 'err, 23 maybe?'.

My girlfriend is 30, and gets ID'd quite regularly.

Some of us just seem to grow old slower than others - get over it.

[jake]

Around here (Sonoma, California)

The saying is "50 is the new 30". Sometimes "60 is the new 30".

I'm fiftyish, and in far better shape than I was in my mid-20s. Proper nutrition & decent exercise are the key.

[jake]

@Mike Flex

Well, they do say girls are good at figures ...

(I'd apologize if I were sorry, Sarah ... I seem to be channeling Vivian Stanshall these days ;-)

[Doug Glass]

"It6's Been A Hard Day's Night"

I'm 64 and I still love it. The problem is finding a partner (female) that can stay interested long enough. "Oh yes honey I .... Oh Look, a squirrel!"

[Doug Glass]

The Worst Sex I Ever Had ...

... was wonderful.

[Anonymous Coward]

It all depends..

... On what kind of relationship you're in. I was getting it daily well into my 50s, often more than once, from an exceptionally enthusiastic younger woman whom I considered the best fcuk in the universe. Then one day things kind of fell off a cliff and it's never been the same since. That would have been ... hmm ... shortly after we got married.

AC because, well, I don't want to hear this read out in court one day.

[Rattus Rattus]

Nonsense

I have sex every night!

...wait, did they mean with someone else?

[Dodgy Geezer]

And the obligatory...

"I'm ninety-five, you know......"

.

.

.

.

"What was the question again?....."

[Anonymous Coward]

while 64 per cent only make love with the lights off

That's because if they turn the lights on the young woman over the road will see them.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re. "Six in ten confessed they are "always ready for a nap straight after sex""

I thought that was normal for the five in ten of us known as men anyway?!?

[Anonymous Coward]

Sissies

> one in 20 who now fear cardiac arrest if they attempt to relive past sexual glories

But what a way to go! 15 scantily clad bunnies, a waterfall of champagne, full brass band, the works!

Oh. You didn't have that? I pity you.

[qwarty]

middle aged sex is the best

At least thats how I read it, so long as you look after your health and avoid obesity. Apparently around 25% reckoned best sex after 40 - sounds about right to me.

The morality skew. Long term relationships, marriage, lots of positive to be said for it. But I've never personally heard anyone honestly claim a great sex life after 10-20 years as a couple. Just doesn't happen tho many pretend it does. Wonder how many in the survey would change their opinion if met someone new.

In otherwords interpreting survey as crap sex for under is 20s or whatever is just ageist twaddle.

[John Sanders]

In my case at least...

Frequency is less, but quality is much improved. My partner and I agree we're more satisfied than before. So in my case yes, it got better quality with age (much better than when on my 20+)

Children (specially little ones with tendency to sneak into your room at midnight) are a heavy sex deterrent.

[TeeCee]

Sometimes.

I just have to feel some sympathy for those less fortunate in life than me.

This, on the other hand, is one of those times when I get to take the piss, wear a silly grin and feel very smug.

[CaptainBlue]

Your Mileage May Vary

I shall join the smug mode: I left my wife when I was 47 and for the past year or so, having met and moved in with a woman who models part-time, I can honestly say my sex life is incredible.

[BondGirl007]

Age is irrelevant

Your partner and your state of mind are the winning factors. I am 48 (f) and my partner is 51 (m). Sex has never been better and is sometimes not only every day but multiple times a day. When I was in my mid-twenties to mid-thirties, my partner was an awful person. The sex was just as awful and extremely infrequent.

I won't be trading my partner in anytime soon.

Not smug, just very, very happy.

[Colin 4]

69

Ironically, thats how many comments there were when i posted this .... I'm guessing there's not much of that going on either ....

[In Bed]

Too damn tired to finish?

If you Brits are too out-of-shape to finish sex, I can't even bear to imagine what the survey results would be like for my fellow fat-ass Americans. Yikes!

jill

In Bed With Married Women

http://inbedwithmarriedwomen.blogspot.com