back to article US attacks Europe's perv-scanners

A US security official has criticised European use of perv-scanners at airports, saying the technology is better regulated in the US. The arches were rushed into use at some UK airports earlier this year, following a failed liquid bomb plot. The measure was criticised by Interpol, European Commissioner Viviane Reding and the …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I read it a bit quick and saw "rapescan" ... probably more apt.

    In all seriousness though, the only way these images can be in anyway 'erotic' for anyone is if they see the person before they go through the scanner and can then associate real person with the ghostly naked image then produced.

    If the person looking at images is sitting in a closed room and just sees the ghost pictures, I don't see how it can be a turn-on to even the biggest perv. Do it on on a computer isolated from the network and internet and wipe it at the end of each day, and I have no issue. Especially if it speeds up security.

    I'd much rather this than the collection of my thumb print and iris scan for all eternity by the US authorities.

    1. Oliver Mayes

      Never underestimate...

      ...the the perviness of the human race. You can almost guarantee that if something exists then someone, somewhere gets off on it. In fact a lot of people enjoy stuff that doesn't exist. A fetish for nude images of random anonymous people sounds pretty vanilla compared to some of the things I've heard about since joining the net back in the 90s.

      1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

        A corollary to Rule 34?

        "If it exists, there's pr0n of it" (rule 34) implies that someone must be getting off on it as well.

    2. Lionel Baden

      Xray Fapping ??


      i went through heathrow last week didnt even notice if there was a scanner :/

      To busy explaining what a midi controller and home built 8 channel relay box are doing in my hand luggage !!!

      i have to admit it did look suspect :D

      *Mines the one with the Xray glasses

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      RE: Rapiscan

      "I'd much rather this than the collection of my thumb print and iris scan for all eternity by the US authorities."

      I choose: NEITHER, they can fuck off.

      Besides, it's only a matter of time (if you believe the hype) before someone gets on a plane with explosives shoved up their arse - what then? I'll leave you to have a think about that one.

      Thumbs up because.... well, I'll leave you to think about that one too.

  2. ShaggyDoggy


    That's a bit rich coming from the country where all known scanner-perv-episodes have actually happened e.g. the one where they ridiculed the size of a mans todger until he went postal, or the one where the airport employee was babbling on about big norks .... hey ho

  3. Thomas 18

    The professionalism test

    Step 1, insert sock down pants

    Step 2, insert hidden cameras in surveillance booth

    Step 3, walk through sensor

    Step 4, fire employees for inappropriate smirking

  4. Anonymous Coward

    Child abuse images?

    Since when did taking a child on a long-haul flight constitute child abuse? It's more likely to abuse the eardrums of the rest of us having to endure the screaming brat for hours.

    1. The Cube
      Thumb Up

      Can't agree more - child free planes please

      If BA want their profits back what they need to do is guarantee one child free plane per day on each route for people to travel on without some squealing brat seeing how many eardrums it can damage and kicking the seat in front of it for 11 hours. Then all the children can scream at each other on the brat plane.

      And as for the people who drag their brat-buggy onto the quite carriage on the train so that everybody can hear it scream properly and it doesn't have to compete with conversation....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward


        I'd rather they were all fitted with batteries and an 'off' button.

      2. Anonymous Coward


        try earplugs sometime. You don't have a right to peace and quiet, if you want it you may have to make just the littlest bit of effort. They cost pennies or come free from huge buckets outside computer halls.

        1. Graham Marsden
          Thumb Down


          Are you one of those selfish people who think that signs saying "No Mobile Phones" and "No headphones" in the Quiet Carriages on trains don't apply to you? And then get all stroppy when somone points out that sign as if the person *complaining* about the selfish idiot is doing something wrong??

          It's just a shame that the Guards on these trains don't actually bother to "walk through the train" as they claim they'll be doing and do their job of telling selfish idiots to move or shut up.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Quiet Carriages etc.

            This is one circumstance where use of a Taser would be acceptable. Once was in such a coach with some young bint (sorry Ms Bee) yabbering away about god knows what. A brief pause then she said "Oooh, I am in the quiet coach. I always get in the quiet coach" and continues yabbering away. Tase the noisy fsckers.

            Note to Ms Bee. This was just a case study and is not mean to suggest that 'young bints' are solely the trouble. The offenders seem to be of all ages and both sexes. The sole consistent feature is that the individual is a suit.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward


          Presumably you'd be one of those hyper indulgent/selfish parenting types who smiles indulgently as their bored little Tarquin/Jemima kicks seven shades of shit out of the seat in front all the way from LHR-LAX, or perhaps runs Daddy's screwdriver down the side of the neighbours car because "kids will be kids, after all".

          Slippery slope that matey; next thing you know, anyone challenging your malevolent Little Angel's psychotic public behaviour is labelled a potential 'pedo', and before you know it you're writing serial letters to the Daily Fail demanding that we all "think of the children" in your own treacly indulgent terms before we criticise behaviour that impacts on others.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nothing to hide

    In this case if you are a man 'Nothing to Hide, everything to fear'...................

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    When I was coming back from Hawaii I was told I had to remove my shoes, belt and take my hands from my pockets...I tend to wear baggy jeans on plane journeys for comfort...My arse was on show for a good 2minutes as I waited in line to be padded down :) . So these scanners don't really worry me.

  7. P.Nutt


    So standing at security with what looks like a pensioners day out...The ONLY person who got asked at "random" for a scan was my blooming wife. Obviously the perv.....sorry security operative didn't fancy seeing a old lady to go through or a bloke for that matter. As long as there is a hairy arsed bloke who failed the McDonalds interview I am sure as hell not trusting these scanners and BAA's claims that my rights....maybe it should be women's rights will not be breached.

    Mine is the lead lined jacket.

  8. Youngdog
    Thumb Up

    Nut screws washer and bolts

    Great strapline Mr Oates!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Kind of funny...

    ...that they're not mentioning the fact that these scanners are completely incapable of detecting the things they are supposed to detect. So what are they actually there for?

    1. To try to discourage people from bringing terrorist materials onto planes.

    2. To convince passengers they are safe from those bringing bomb components onto planes.

    3. Perving.

    4. Scanning for something that they are not telling us about.

    Since 1 & 2 could have been satisfied with a dummy device, which wouldn't have cost millions of pounds of development it can't be that.

    I can't see why they'd spend milllions of pounds of public money just to allow pervs to perv. So it must be 4.

    Most anti terror laws seem to be used to prosecute people for less sinister crimes. For example, searches for the supposed purposes of preventing terror leading to people for possesion of drugs. So the scanners are probably really there to try to deal with smuggling, but they couldn't justify such massive public expenditure.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down

      They are there because...

      1 - someone lobbied to get them accepted

      2 - Security Service smiled on the idea

      3 - a third-party security company was hired to do the installation, and so for everyone these was...

      4 - profit!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Or because...

        In the beginning was the Brethren and their Project.

        And of this Project the profits to the Brethren were great and the benefits to the People few.

        And darkness was upon the faces of the People, who said to their Representatives, “This is a crock of shit, and it stinks.”

        And the Representatives went unto their Great House and said, “This is a pile of crap and none may abide the odour.”

        And those sitting to the rear of the Great House said unto those who sat at the Front, “This is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, and none may abide it.”

        And those at the Front, being many of them also Brethren, said to their Leaders, “This is fertilizer, of overwhelming strength.”

        And the Leaders spake among themselves, saying, “We are told this aids growth and it is very powerful.”

        And the whole of the Great House nodded wisely and agreed that the Plan was indeed Good.

  10. John Smith 19 Gold badge

    "Mary Ellen Callahan, head of data protection"

    Irony alert!

    This is the outfit that wants to hoover up the personal details (and credit card details) of *everyone* coming to the US.

    This is the outfit that wants to hoover up financial details from the EU in large chunks while requiring *named* searches for it's citizens.

    This is the outfit that allowed private contractors to set up "Accelerated" checkin services for frequent (top class) passengers and whose contractors then had their details (on an encrypted laptop) stolen from a secure area in an airport.

    That outfit.

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