Primate-phobic Brit attacked by crab-eating Macaques A Peterborough woman's plan to confront her lifelong fear of primates went seriously titsup when she was set upon by a pack of crab-eating macaques, the Daily Mail reports. Dee Darwell, 56, had apparently taken a strong dislike to our cousins as a result of her dad raising a "positively evil" chimpanzee. In an attempt to the …
You have a genuine phobia of the sods so you go and find a semi-wild bunch of 'em on the other side of the world then complain when they attack you? FFS!
Why not go along to a local zoo or animal sanctuary in your area and get used to them in a nice gentle environment, where you can be assured they will be quite docile?!
"I wouldn't have got off that bloody boat if the tour guide would have said at all that there was any danger, any risk, even the slightest risk. I would not have gotten off that boat."
There speaks a woman who is planning to sue. Judging by the size of the bandage all she got was a couple of bites. Had she been savaged she wouldn't look so damned healthy in the photograph. But really, you visit an island that's actually named after its wild inhabitants and act all surprised when they act like wild animals? Fucktard.
IMHO she deserved all she got and more for using the word "gotten".
Also note the "would have said". The quotation appears not to be written in British English, despite allegedly coming from a "British woman".
Journalists do tend to invent quotations. I expect that quotation was invented by a US journalist.
Anyway, do I want to go on holiday there? Phuket!
and quite possibly rabies too said The Daily Mail today.
As the other people above have said, what was this woman thinking? Speaking from experience, wild monkeys are little sods and will attack anything if they think they can get food or if they feel threatened and have sufficient back-up.
So that's The Secret of Monkey Island - don't tease the monkeys.
Or possibly that's The Curse of Monkey Island.
I'm glad she managed to Escape From Monkey Island.
Maybe she could sign a book deal, called Tales of Monkey Island, perhaps?
Mines the one with the photo of a Three-Headed Monkey in the pocket.
The stupid bint is scared of monkeys, so goes to an island populated by monkeys. She is then bitten by, wait for it, monkeys! Holy shit, who'd have thunk it.
I laughed so hard at the beginning of the story, I nearly macaqued my underpants! Stories like this are a ba-boon to El Reg, I love 'em.
Aversion therapy does work but only in a controlled way, this is like throwing yourself a tall building to cure your fear of heights, which it will; permanently. But what is so special about crab-eating macaques are they in some way more horrifying than non-crab eating macaques. I think we should be told.
If she thought they were harmless, why was she scared? Can't have it both ways.
If she knew chimps could be "evil"* couldn't she extrapolate to monkeys being vicious?
*presumably it resided in her brother's wardrobe as is diaffected simians' wont.
Also, is it just me, or does Danni Minogue look like the navigator skull whenever she smiles?
She's scared of monkeys. I kinda get that, I don't have an issue with monkeys but that one on Friends seemed to be a bit creepy so I can see why people can be scared of them. Not to mention being like little pre-humans, giving all those nice religious people a serious Darwin moment.
But really... She lives in England. Hardly a place full of wild monkeys. Hardly a phobia that needs to be confronted. What was she doing taking her monkey phobia to an island full of wild friggin' monkeys? And, um... Thailand...? Right now? Was she wearing a red shirt?
I'm not keen on spiders and having a functioning brain I realise a holiday to Spider Island would certainly not help my fear.
Tame chimps like most animals can go very crazy being raised indoors by humans, and since a monkey is something most people rarely meet why on earth was she trying to cure her phobia ?
IT ISN'T A PHOBIA IF A MAD CHIMP USED TO ATTACK YOU ALL THE TIME ! She should have just tried hosting a tea party.
"I'm not keen on spiders and having a functioning brain I realise a holiday to Spider Island would certainly not help my fear."
Actually, it might - it's a technique called "flooding", basically the opposite of desensitisation. Rather than "Here's a piece of paper with the word spider on it, now here's a drawing of a spider, here's a photo of a spider, a small dead spider in a box, a live spider in a box, a live spider on my hand" it goes "Could you just take a seat in the next room? WHICH IS FULL OF SPIDERS!" See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flooding_(psychology)
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