back to article Burger van busted offering free takeaway porn

Police are pondering just what charges two East Yorkshire men will face after they were nabbed giving away free porn DVDs from a burger van in Driffield. The van, or more accurately a caravan as the snap here shows, was parked in a garden in an area of the Capital of the Wolds "popular with young revellers attending late-night …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    this

    This sounds like the best kebab van in the world, food, beer and, free porn?!

    It's also an example of why people hate the police.

    Porn hasn't killed anyone, unless you believe the police & friends in which case rape and murder are a direct result of porn. And the two things wouldn't exist if it weren't for porn. (I may be exagerating)

    1. Andy ORourke
      Joke

      Can I just say...........

      Carlsberg don't do kebab vans, but if they did...........

      1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

        Re: Can I just say...........

        *headdesk*

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The rules, they be broken

    Porn requires a licence now?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      Yup

      Proper porn does.

      As in Hardcore - R18. That's why you have to go to a sexshop and can't legitimately order hardcore DVDs online in the UK.

      Obviously if you use an overseas supplier, you'll probably get hardcore.

      The establishment requires a Sex License to sell R18 (I may be wrong on the name there, sounds to american)

      Anon cos I seem to know far too much about this.

      Paris.... obvious really

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      It most certainly does

      Selling porn (assuming we are talking about R18 rated here) most definitely DOES require a licence. It may only be sold from a licences premises and that licence must be renewed annually from the local council authority.

      The fact that they were giving the porn away is probably not a defence either, because it was given away with the burgers which WERE being paid for. So, it could be considered as part of the sale even though it was "free". A bit like going into Currys and buying a TV with a free DVD player. Even though the DVD player is "free", it is still covered by the sale of goods act and forms part of the overall purchase transaction.

      The fines that can be imposed for selling R18 stuff without the appropriate licence can be very considerable.

      1. Steve Foster

        Erm...

        Except that they weren't selling it - they were giving it away.

        1. Ben Tasker Silver badge

          Re: Erm....

          As said by an earlier poster;

          The fact it was free is irellevant. It is considered part of the sale.

          You had to buy something to receive it, therefore it's not truly 'free'. It's covered by the licensing laws and so they can be done for that.

          The funny thing is, as far as the booze/food goes;

          Any Tom, Dick or Harry can apply for a temporary event notice (TEN) from the council. It cost's nigh on f*ck all, and they would have been able to sell their food and beer. IIRC from my licensing exam, you don't even necessarily need the personal license under a TEN.

          Still points for the idea!

          As an afterthought: It doesn't actually say of what nature the porn was. If it was softcore, then you can sell without a license (although obviously not to kids!) so there's b*gger all the old bill could do about that aspect.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Pint

            TEN rules

            Here is a little helper,

            A Temporary Events Notice can be for sell of alcohol, entertainment, and/or late night refreshment for up to 96 hours, with a break of 24 hours per TEN.

            Non holder of personal licence: five TENs per calender year

            Holder of a personal licence: 50 TENs per calender year

            but

            a maximum of ten TENs per venue in a calender year

            The cost is £21 per TEN, made payable to the local council.

            AC: I know too much

    3. HFoster

      Pr0n license

      I reckon you need some sort of license to sell porn - as much as you need to sell any publications. Maybe it's a special form or variation of the aforementioned, maybe it isn't (IANAL), but I reckon you do need one. c.f. Sex shops.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Licensing Laws in brief

      In terms of licensing information, the burger van needed all three parts of a premises licence. That is, firstly, the late night refreshment licence for the selling of hot food between 2300 and 0500 (the burgers. Secondly, the alcohol licence for selling of the beer (plus an alcohol personal licence for the van owner) and as someone said earlier, a sex-shop licence for selling adult material, namely the porn DVDs. The licensing system was inducted back in 2003, under the Licensing Act 2003. This is something that the licensing department of both the local council and the local police force does.

      I am pretty sure that the licensing officer thought this was her lucky day as this covers all of her job.

      AC, as I know too much about this. :lol:

  3. Cameron Colley

    Oh, for fuck's sake.

    "Won't someone think of the children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" is turning this country into a nursery school.

    Who the hell is it harming that a these people are giving out porn DVDs to people who buy burgers after they've been clubbing? OK, so they should probably be shut down for selling alcohol without a license or something, but prosecuted? Give me a break.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "We won't tolerate this because youngsters could have been given the DVDs."

    oh puuuurrrleease

    I'd be more worried that my son or daughter was eating food from a frickin burger van to be quite frank.

  5. CASIOMS-8V
    Pint

    Would you like a shake with that?

    Beer & Burgers & Pron must mean a SOHO eatery idea for some enterprising filth monger . .

  6. Mr Brush
    Coat

    Didn't you hear me right..

    When I ordered a QUORN burger?

    Mine's the one with the tissues in the pocket.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Dirty coppers

    She concluded: "The operation went well and we are now looking at the evidence..."

    I bet you are darlin'!!!

  8. lansalot
    Go

    looking at the evidence ?

    As my civic duty, I feel I must offer to lend a hand...

    Don't require payment - not that tight-fisted.

    1. Test Man
      Stop

      Au contraire...

      ... I bet you ARE tight-fisted when it comes to porn! ;)

  9. Sim~

    its driff

    just a normal night out in driffield...

  10. Moz
    Coat

    Porn?

    No porn here officer. Just a DVD with a few hamburger shots...

  11. Sir Runcible Spoon
    Coat

    Sir

    I, for one, will sleep more soundly in my bed tonight.

    (after a good wank that is)

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Well....

    I ordered a large sausage firmly placed into a bun and all I got was this lousy DVD.

    Anonymous because I would rather eat sausage than watch porn.

    Oh the innuendo

  13. s. pam
    Flame

    They call her Hot Sauce, she's hot and spicy, oh boy that says it all!

    With respect to Mr. THomas Dolby -- the woman serving's name is now known ;-)

    "They call her Hot Sauce

    she's hot and spicy

    but twice as nicey

    although she burn me up

    they call her Hot Sauce

    she's hotter than pepper

    I would have kept her

    although she burn me up."

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Beer

    So they cared more about youngsters getting pr0n than beer?

    Won't somebody think of the children!

  15. HaplessPoet
    Thumb Up

    Carlsberg don't do Burger Vans

    But if they did.....................................

    Also I do love the:

    Police licensing officer PC Carolyn Grundy gasped: "It is unbelievable customers were being offered porn DVDs with their beer and burgers at an outlet that did not even have the necessary licences."

    So had they had the licence all would have been ok?

  16. frank ly

    What offences?

    "The operation went well and we are now looking at the evidence to see what offences have been committed."

    I thought they knew what offences were being committed. Isn't that why they arrested the two guys?

  17. Huntsman
    Happy

    Class

    I ordered the badly packed kebab, plus I got to see some on dvd.

    Two for the price of one!

  18. Jerome 0

    Undercover

    "Undercover officers made test purchases and found this to be true"

    They didn't twig when they saw the huge yellow sign on the side of the van saying "free porn" then?

  19. Nathan 13
    Black Helicopters

    Just the police

    Where were the wankers from FACT during this "crime of the century" in Driffield.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    Arrest first ...

    ask questions later ?

    Is it just me that is worried about a police force that feels it can go around arresting people *before* knowing if they have broken the law ????

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Yeuch!

    "were enjoying some pornographic entertainment on a TV inside their premises when cops busted them"

    extra mayo with that officer??

  22. Arkasha
    Coat

    Pity it wasn't a kebab van

    ... then there'd be a joke in there about badly packed kebabs...

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Pity it wasn't a kebab van

      Funny you should say that. In a manner of speaking. The manner being that it's not actually that funny.

      1. Dan 10

        Let me guess

        You were dreading modding the comments on this story, weren't you?!

      2. mmiied
        Paris Hilton

        re:Re: Pity it wasn't a kebab van

        are you this much of a killjoy on reallife or just on the internet?

        1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

          Re: re:Re: Pity it wasn't a kebab van

          Watch it, sunshine.

          I'm actually great fun and larks and japes etc in real life. It's just you lot that have sapped my sense of humour during work hours...

          1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

            Re: Re: re:Re: Pity it wasn't a kebab van

            I mean, there has to be joy for a killjoy to have anything to work with.

  23. Preacher
    Pint

    Carlsberg don't do Burger vans

    but if we did........

  24. Tom_

    big deal

    Our local ice cream van used to sell ecstasy and trainers.

    Sheffield was a bit more upmarket than Driffield, I suppose.

  25. PoonDog
    Happy

    If.....

    ....Carlsberg made burger vans.......they'd probably be the best burger vans in the world !

  26. soddit112
    Heart

    i love my town :D

    i come from Driffield, where this van was situated, never actually saw it but heard lots about it XD

    heard it had been towed away a few days ago, didnt know it was going up on such serious charges though :O i hope the police see sense and drop them, im sure theyd rather have these kids running a successful business than getting shit-faced like the rest of our townsfolk, and i do not just mean teenagers either :P

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    K-O-D

    Must be Kids On Drugs to act this dumb?

  28. envmod

    the switcheroo

    i'm gonna open up a porn van giving away free beer and burgers with every porn DVD over £5.

  29. Anonymous Bastard
    WTF?

    Not a likely complaint

    "We received complaints that free porn DVDs were being offered to everyone who spent £5 or more on beer and burgers."

    And did the complaint end with "...but a burger 'n' large chips only comes to £4.50"?

    Seriously, what sort of young, drunk clubber EVER complains about free porn at 3am?

  30. demat
    Big Brother

    Getting its cut

    "It is unbelievable customers were being offered porn DVDs with their beer and burgers at an outlet that did not even have the necessary licences."

    Presumably if the governement had been getting its cut, all would have been well.

  31. Velv
    Pint

    If Carlsberg did Burger van's

    Was Carlsberg the beer of choice ?

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    If it was in a car park.....

    It must have been a hot dogging van

  33. TkH11

    What law is violated?

    I'm trying to understand what the offence committed is..other than the operating a burger van without a license. That'd be down to environmental health to prosecute over.

    But, if someone's giving away porn, and if it happened to be videos of the guy's wife, then there's no copyright issues - which is usually what the coppers get them on. It's also not being sold..so does that constitute "trading without a license"? Street traders need a license.

    If someone offers you something for free, it's up to you whether you accept it or not.

    Can't see any crime being committed there.

    And, as for giving it to children, they'd have to prove that it was given to them..you can't prosecute someone for a crime in case they might commit the crime, you can only prosecute them when that crime has been committed.

    I suspect, they'll find some weird law to do them under, and it might be: making and distributing home videos without a British Board of Film Classification certificate being applied.

    It's well known the coppers and the judiicary are the worst culprits of visiting dominatrixes....(probably 'cos the judges are the only ones that can afford £150 per hour session!)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Answers

      The offense is 'trading without a license'.

      Licenses cover a veriety of things, but in the case of booze and porn it's 'Sale by retail'.

      Now you don't actually have to charge for it to need the license. The Porn was a 'free gift' received on the condition you spent £5. As far as the law is concerned, the porn was not free. It's counted as part of the transaction (on the fairly fair assumption that you are recovering the cost through profit from the other goods).

      So they need a Sex license for the porn (if it's R18), and two alcohol licenses (premises and personal) or a Temporary Event Notice for the booze.

      The food and drink also requires a late night entertainment license.

      As far as whether it was given to children, this gets a little more complicated;

      The License exists as a means of trying to ensure the underage don't obtain the item.

      By failing to have a license, there's a presumption that you are not too scrupulous

      You get shafted

      It's true that it'd be hard to prove they gave it to children, but they probably wont even bother to try (either that, or one of their 'test' purchasers was a minor)

      When it comes to Licensing, the Police/Local Authority will take every step they can to try and catch you out. If they manage you get a fine of £80 minimum, and could do 6 months hard time (for alcohol, not sure of the punishments for sex)

      Anon, cos I wouldn't want to lose MY license!

  34. Shane8
    Joke

    Mmmmm

    Carlsberg dont do burger vans....but if they did they would probably be the best burger vans in the world!

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Killer pr0n?

    Are you still enslaved by your Victorian past?

    History is a nightmare from which Britain is trying to awake.

    Mine's the one with a copy of Ulysses in the pocket.

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Driffield? Late night bars and clubs?

    Firstly Driffield has late night bars and clubs?

    Secondly was the reason the DVD's were so popular down to the fact that they depicted the unusual sight (for Driffield) of people who aren't blood relatives indulging in sexual congress?

    And finally was the lookout a bald bloke with a banjo?

  37. LPF
    Paris Hilton

    @lansalot

    "As my civic duty, I feel I must offer to lend a hand...

    Don't require payment - not that tight-fisted."

    well if you are too tight , it would chaff lol

  38. Ru
    Troll

    Re: Outrage

    The porn is just a side-show. They were selling booze without a license, that's probably enough to convict them. Selling food without a license isn't going to help either. Copyright violation and distributing porn to minors is almost entirely irrelevant after that; enough with the outrage and 'won't someone think about the people who are thinking about the children?' hysteria.

  39. ElNumbre
    Paris Hilton

    Lowering Crime Stats

    If it causes the UFE of today to go home, combat brewers droop and fall asleep, then surely that must be better than roaming the streets looking for a fight or an easy target...

    As the old saying goes, a w@nk a day keeps the rapist tendecies away.

  40. James 127
    Thumb Up

    driffield

    ....is just 2 minutes away from me and dam I never heard about this :)

  41. Alexander McCallister
    WTF?

    No sex please, we're British

    I thought i was in a movie remake for a moment there.

  42. Phil Rigby
    Pint

    Pics...

    Playmobil or it didn't happen ;-)

  43. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Big Brother

    "Burgers will be served behind this curtain"

    "It is unbelievable customers were being offered porn DVDs with their beer and burgers at an outlet that did not even have the necessary licences."

    I wonder what part of "free market" is hard to grok here?

  44. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    Beer may be more the social problem...

    ...particularly from unlicensed premises.

    In Ireland it was quite the money-spinner for the terrorists, I've heard. (Both sides? Not sure.)

    Video licensing I'm not sure about, apparently there are some hot videos sold with magazines in those newsagents that don't choose not to sell them, if you see what I mean.

    Supplying either booze or porn to under agers is illegal, and ithe booze licensing system is part of the mechanism for ensuring that that trade, at least, is conducted by apparently responsible people who won't do that.

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Shame!

    She concluded: "The operation went well and we are now looking at the evidence to see what offences have been committed."

    Waste of Police time?

    Harrassing hard working local businessmen?

  46. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
    Joke

    Burger Me!

    That is all.

  47. Andrew Norton

    porn to kids?

    " We won't tolerate this because youngsters could have been given the DVDs."

    Was it automated? Did they have a history of giving porn to minors? if not, I think this is a bit far-fetched scaremongering by Mary Whitehouse's descendants

  48. Linker3000
    WTF?

    Protip

    Don't ask for the special sauce

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Troll

    what is so wrong about it

    Can somebody explain me why porn is so wrong in this country?

    I am sure there wouldn't be any complaints if lets say the dvd was a violent gangster movie.

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Driffield.

    Ha! Born and grew up there!

    Only a tiny town so no surprise this is headline news ;) All very local.. just how they like it.

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Trainers?

    I must ask our local ice cream van what else he sells other than dodgy cigs...

  52. Andrew Taylor 1
    Grenade

    Referred to ERYC Trading Standards

    What a joke, their only interest is protecting the big retailers not the consumers, as I know from personal experience, one joker even tried to scare me out of repeating the T & C's on companies website by using references to the McLibel case. Now this is an organisation ready for cutting under the new plans to reduce the Public Sector, ERYC Tradings Standards are 2nd only to Humberside Police in the list of most useless organisations in the country

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    re:humberside police

    As a resident of humberside I can vouch for this, for the south bank anyway.

    AC in case plod is reading this.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      Re : re:humberside police

      Are you seriously suggesting that Humberside police employ officers who can read!!!!!!!!!

  54. John Tserkezis
    Thumb Up

    What they meant to say:

    What they said:

    "Undercover officers made test purchases and found this to be true before Saturday night's operation when the caravan was seized. We won't tolerate this because youngsters could have been given the DVDs."

    What they meant:

    And youngsters are notoriously difficult to get porn back from.

  55. veti Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Where did they get the DVDs?

    Quite apart from the beer, food and porn licensing issues, did they have the copyright holder's authorisation to be distributing the DVDs?

    If they were giving them away free, that makes me suspect they were just ripped from somewhere, so they should be on the hook for video piracy, as well as unlicensed trading in food and beer.

  56. justkyle
    Go

    I, for one

    demand PlayMobil re-enactment! Or, it didn't happen.

    Also cheers all around, everybody else in the thread got the best jokes.

    I'd thumbs up everybody, but the thumbs-upping at theregister is vastly more difficult and time consuming than regretsy.

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did the woman giving out hamburgers...

    ...have nice buns?

  58. william henderson 1

    "We won't tolerate this because youngsters could have been given the DVDs."

    when police officers are more deserving

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