back to article Robobeachcop demands licence from Poole snapper

If you go down to the beach in Poole, make sure that in addition to the sun cream you're also carrying a licence for that dangerous piece of photographic kit. The latest news from the costa geriatrica - aka Branksome Chine in Poole – is that snappers should expect to be stopped and quizzed on their photographic activity, all …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Anonymous Coward

    The real crime.... claiming that Poole has beaches worth photographing...

    Otherwise, perhaps a 'meeting on the sands' is in order for all local snappers.

  2. Disco-Legend-Zeke

    Another Reason To...

    ...use high end compact cameras.

    As I mentioned in a comment on

    I recommended the 8010 for his upcoming trip to China.

    His other buddies laughed at him for taking such underpowered kit and talked him into buying a top DSLR. He took both.

    Every time he whipped out the Big Camera, he was told to stop, but he brought back hundreds of excellent photos taken with the Olympus.

    1. 0laf Silver badge

      I thought you wrote..

      "High impact cameras".

      And you were going to beat the beach Taliban to a pulp with it before taking some tasteful snaps.

  3. Anonymous Coward

    We should all...

    bombard our new government with articles about events like this.

    After all they are asking us for places to make cuts and savings, a few less bloody jobsworths would make the country a much nicer place.

    Plods may get told to do their jobs and not be a pain in the a*** as well when they winge about their budget cuts............

    Oh damn I just woke up.

    Mines the one with the old Canon F1, they were pretty solid to, in the pocket.

  4. Matt 21

    Police state

    I haven't lived in the UK for a while. Could someone tell me if a law was enacted which allows beach patrols to enforce laws? I thought only the police could do that.

    1. C Yates

      Kinda reminds me of the film 'Mall Cop'

      Someone taking their duty way too seriously =)

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Problem, with beaches is that you might be on one largely naked but not particularly keen on that image of you being blown up 50 times in some ad campaign for slimming products.

    Maybe there should be a permit for beaches?

    1. PerfectBlue

      Already a law for this

      There's already a law for that. You're image can't be used commercially without your consent if you're the subject of that image.

      if you're a face in a crowd of 150 obese people they can, but if they target you in any realistic way amongst the crowd, then they can't.

      1. Anonymous Coward

        @Already a law for this

        You must be thinking of the USA, because there's no such law/right in the UK.

    2. Rob

      Being largely naked...

      ... in a public open space like a beach is more or less declaring to the world that your not bothered if perfect strangers see your bits, although I agree with the point about an ad campaign as permission should definately be sought for an image that is the sole focus of generating a revenue.

    3. The BigYin

      I agree 100%

      It's time these perverts and other disgusting creatures who intrude on the right-minded majority in public were brought to heel. They swan about complaining about their "rights". Well, sod them. What about their responsibilities? It's all rights, rights, rights these days. No one cares about responsibilities. We live in a time of unprecedented freedom and these arses carry on taking the piss.

      No "Speedos" without a license! Who's with me?

      1. Ted Treen
        Thumb Up


        I'm with you. And I've upvoted your comment.

  6. Paul 25

    Ownership of beaches

    I thought the land between low and high tide was actually all a funny kind of common land and not technically owned by anyone (other than the crown)?

    Or is that a legal urban myth?

  7. Sarah Davis


    ... that people are this stupid. Stuart Terry, and 'Beech 8' should have themselves put down on the grounds that they're too anal to live.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Red tape gone mad

    What you need to do in this situation is to challange the person to detail the EXACT regulation. Any official who cannot name a regulation should be actively challanged if they try to enforce it.

    If an offical cannot produce a copy of the regulations, or even tell you the name/article number of the regulations, then you should tell them that they are mistaken, and that you are going about your lawful business in accordance with the European Convention on Human Rights, and the 1998 Human Rights Act (you cannot be stopped under a law that does not exist). Demand their full name and (if they have one) their number, too, and ask for the name/telephone number of their supervisor. It helps if you demand that they give you their phone to make the call (also means that they don't get your phone number).

    1. Anonymous Coward

      re: red tape gone mad

      No. Why on earth should I engage with these people *at all* ?

      What gives the council the right to appoint people that can question members of the public in a public place.

      In brief; ignore them. Don't grant them an authority they don't deserve by entering into a conversation.

  9. TeeCee Gold badge

    You want to make this problem go away?

    Slash the council budget.

    Then the army of shitwitted tinpot nazi wannabees who serve no purpose other than to make the organisation employing them look like a bunch of twunts will start to look like an unaffordable luxury.

    All we need is a government committed to wielding the axe. By happy coincidence we seem to have aquired one of those so:

    "Come in number 8, your time is up!"

    1. Ted Treen
      Big Brother

      Upon reflection,

      I think it would be better to slash the council...

      with a broadsword...

      or a machete...

      or a samurai sword...

      or all three (for efficiency, you understand).

    2. Andus McCoatover

      "Come in number 8, your time is up!"

      er, pause...

      "Number infinity, are you having difficulties?"

  10. ShaggyDoggy


    1. Hattie Miles was on the promenade not the beach

    2. The beach from the spring tide mark seawards is property of the Queen

    3. Where do I get a photography licence

    4. Surely Mr Beach 8 would be better occupied preventing people from drowning etc

    Oh wait, you said Poole .......

  11. dracnoc
    Big Brother

    I live in Poole...

    ... and I quite agree with AC. Poole is a dump, it's beaches lack anything resembling golden sands. I suspect the beach bods are trying to stop people from taking pictures just in case that people notice that Poole is bloody ugly.

    People should take pictures of these so-called officials, so that people visiting the area will know who to avoid.

    Welcome to the Photography Class of 1984...

  12. Robajob

    Nikon F series

    I've got an old Nikon F2 - it's weighty enough to bring down an elephant in the right hands!

    1. Peter Storm


      I've got an old Slik tripod that's built like the Forth rail bridge.

      Perhaps we could put them together and make a fighting machine!

      1. Ted Treen
        Big Brother

        Me too

        I use a Slik tripod, and I've got two F4's. I'm almost willing to risk sacrificing one in order to inflict drastic cranial modification upon this defective defector from commonsense, No. 8.

        I really do think a rebellion (every free man's right - sometimes his duty) is in order, followed by an exhaustive cull of jobsworths, councillors and other inadequates whose sole raison d'etre is to thoroughly piss off the rest of us.

        They've succeeded.

        I'm pissed off.

        Homicidally* pissed off.

        *I suppose that should be more accurately stated as "Pesticidally"'

    2. Ivan Headache

      Now where

      are you going to get an elephant in the right hands?

      1. g e


        Still better than an elephant in the wrong hands ;o)

    3. Petrea Mitchell
      IT Angle

      I believe it

      I've used a Nikkormat from 1973, which wasn't too bad on its own, but add the zoom lens containing 5 lbs of metal and glass and you had a serious blunt object.

  13. Dan 63


    Absolutely: salad dogders should require special permission to be 'largely naked' in a public place.

  14. Haku

    Spy video sunglasses

    It's amazing what you can cram into the frames of sunglasses nowadays...

    Or if you prefer to make your own:

  15. David Lawrence

    Beach 8's psychological profile

    I can picture him now. Bullied at school (or perhaps was the bully). Failed his GCSEs and was unable to get into the police or armed forces either because he was scared of seeing REAL action or was just too stupid. Still lives with parents (possibly just Mum, having never known his natural father). Works out at the gym. Drinks with 'friends' who will tolerate him. Has 183 'friends' on Facebook. Spends a lot of time sending and receiving inane and pointless texts on his iPhone. Thinks his 'McJob' is important and that he is making a difference. Invents his own rules and laws based on pathetic excuses about 'Health and Safety' and gets away with pushing meek people around. It all collapses when his 'laws' come under scrutiny.

    I agree with TeeCee - slash the budget and put the twat out of our misery.

  16. Rogerborg

    Laugher is the best medicine

    Which I've employed to great effect on Glasgow's "Community Enforcement Officers". Understand that they are clowns wearing a hi-vis *costume*, not a uniform. Feel free to take as many pictures of them as you like, and remember: regardless of any powers that they may (or more likely not) enjoy under byelaws, none of them have any more powers of arrest than you do.

    If they get too annoying or pushy, do free free to summon a real warranted Constable, and ask them to uphold the peace by getting the clown out of your face. It's always better to get your retaliation in first; the magic words are that you feel "threatened, alarmed, harassed and distressed" and "fear the imminent use of unlawful violence". "Ah, sections 4 and 5 of the Public Order Act 1986!" thinks Plod, "That's an easy Caution, and a bonus jammy dodger with my tea!"

  17. This post has been deleted by its author

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Stick it to the man !

    Yo Be-ach 8! Step off outa ma face dawg!

    Dohne mess wid me o' ah unload a shutter on yo ass!

    Cameron's cuts just can't come soon enough can they?

  19. David Neil

    @ Rogerborg

    Or even better, stand with your cameraphone and point it at the cctv van they setup in George Square.

    You then get to have a circular argument about how they have a camera pointing at you, so why cant you take a picture of a camera.

    Passes a few minutes if you're bored ;)

  20. peter 45

    how about out-ranking the tosser

    Next time, wear a hi-vis vest, carry a clipboard and wear an ID badge around your neck with an impressive sounding title (Senior Assessor, By-law Compliance Department etc). Bet the smarmy little git would be swarming around you like bees round honey and he would let you take as many photos as you like

  21. Head


    I think a good old "Fuck off" should work well here.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Misguided beach wardens

    if a film company takes over, for instance, a pier, and in doing so excludes the owner ( that is the council tax payer) from using that which they pay for,then clearly they need to compensate said tax payer.

    If however the film company or photographer are impeding no one and do not require exclusive use of the facility I see no reason that they should be challenged.

    All civil servants work for the tax payer,they need to remember that.

  23. Anonymous Coward

    Go Dave!

    Of all the cuts that are coming, those applied to local government are the ones I'm going to enjoy most.

    And this is just one example of why.

  24. Chris Hunt
    Black Helicopters

    You're missing an important clue

    "a council official said he was not allowed to take pictures on Sandbanks"

    Sandbanks is home to some of the richest people in the country - it has the fourth highest land value in the world (admittedly that's just according to ickypedia at ). I'm sure those folks don't want anyone pointing a camera at them, and have more than enough wonga to persuade a few councillors that "public safety issues" demand a photo ban.

This topic is closed for new posts.