back to article Steve Jobs talks Flash, 'lying S.O.B' devs, sex, and Gizmodocrime

Steve Jobs says that Flash has had its day, work on the iPad began before work on the iPhone, the Gizmodophone may have been "stolen out of [Apple engineer Gray Powell's] bag", at least one iPhone app developer is a "son of a bitch liar," and his sex life is "pretty good". These remarks — and many more — came in a wide-ranging …


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  1. SuperTim
    Jobs Horns

    Selective Amnesia?

    "We told Adobe to show us something better, and they never did. It wasn't until we shipped the iPad that Adobe started to raise a stink about it,"

    So Steve has forgotten the previous 3 years of iPhone flash denial has he. I seem to recall a lot of to-ing and fro-ing long before the iPad came out.

    I agree there is a lot of crap flash out there, Unfortunately there is the odd good bit of flash. I am tired of the restrictions Steve "big" Jobs puts on OUR hardware. (i say OUR because once we've bought it, it is OURS". Sure his software that we licence, but then again, no other OS manufacturer deliberately prevents legitimate code executing.)

    I don't think i will bother with an iPad, and unless the 4g/next gen iPhone is cheap, i wont bother with that either. Infact, sod it. I am not going to even eat apples anymore, Harumph...

    1. Sean Timarco Baggaley

      "I say OUR because once we've bought it, it is OURS"

      And MY washing machine is MINE! But it doesn't even come with an App Store! Gah! BASTARDS! How DARE Indesit make such a closed, walled-garden device! I can't wait until someone jailbreaks it!


      Tell you what: When you're researching, designing and manufacturing your *own* products, risking your own (and your shareholders') damned money, *then* you can come back and claim they're *yours*!

      Until then, fuck off. Seriously. Your whining is pitiful and pathetic. "Waah! Apple don't make a product exactly to my specifications! How DARE they ignore me? I am clearly representative of the entire market! Serve me! SERVE ME! DANCE! DANCE FOR ME!"

      It's self-centred, entitlement whores like you who've made Simon Cowell rich.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Morons ahoy

        "Tell you what: When you're researching, designing and manufacturing your *own* products, risking your own (and your shareholders') damned money, *then* you can come back and claim they're *yours*!"

        Tell you what: When you're researching, designing and manufacturing your *own* cars, risking your own (and your shareholders') damned money, *then* you can come back and claim they're *yours* and that you want to use any petrol you like in them.

        How dare people think that just because they handed cash over to Jobs that that in some way entitles them to OWN the product! The cheek!

        Seriously, you Apple groupies really need to get your heads out of Jobs' arse and try thinking for yourselves. Either that or just fuck off and live with him in some sort of commune or something. I'm sure he'd be glad to have a supply of livers handy.

        1. blackworx

          Re: Morons ahoy

          "I'm sure he'd be glad to have a supply of livers handy."

          I lol'd so much I had to wipe a tear from my eye.

      2. Neill Mitchell

        Washing machines a walled garden? Erm, no.

        An washing machine does not only let you wash clothes bought solely from the machine manufacturer.

        A washing machine does not force you to use a single brand of detergent.

        A washing machine isn't missing standard connections every other washing machine has.

        A washing machine does not reject clothes the manufacturer does not approve of.

        A washing machine manufacturer does not enjoy a 43% markup.

        A washing machine does not have an army of advocates who post pointless and meaningless analogies.

        The only thing washing machines and Apple have in common is spin ;)

      3. SuperTim

        @Sean Timarco Baggaley

        Ooooooh, Get You!

        The iPhone i bought is mine. If you steal it, you have stolen it from me, not steve jobs. If i decide to throw it with significant force into your face, then My iphone may break, it's not steve jobs's . He can't sue me for criminal damage to his phone. If you were to sue anyone it would be me not steve jobs. Not that any of this matters because its all very easy to be a gobshite via a forum. I agree that steve has the right to manufacture what he wants, but then i have the right to have a bitch about it and not buy any other of his products on the basis that they are NOT GOOD ENOUGH! The iphone and ipad are marketed as being web enabled, hell even Jobsy thinks it can be used to browse the net while watching TV, yet it cant play flash anything. Sad facebookians and flashgame fans will not be very impressed (and at over 500 million, some of them would certainly be in the market for an ipad).

        And i am not sure how i have made simon cowell rich, perhaps you could enlighten me.

        Now be a good lad and get back to your "freelance journalism" or whatever being unemployed is called these days.

        1. Trevor_Pott Gold badge


          "Now be a good lad and get back to your "freelance journalism" or whatever being unemployed is called these days."

          Wait...what? You are making freelance contribution to a journalistic entity sound like a bad thing.


      4. Rob Dobs

        Who's whining?

        Few other businesses are able to force such restriction on their users. If Apple wanted to stay in their walled garden and NOT bother everyone else that might be a lot more agreeable to the rest of us. When they are showing a M$ style tactic of trying to cut off large portions of the marketplace from being able to interact openly with the rest of the world, I see it as negative and a problem.

        Just because I am not forced to Join Scientology doesn't mean that I have to approve, or even accept them. Yes it's their decision to join the cult, but I doubt as many people would join if they are more informed. And their shitty behavior and ideas sometimes have negative effects on my little world. So I feel entitled to call BS when I see something shitty, I hardly think that is expecting a company to create products solely on my whim.

        If Apple did not stifle other competitive options with bogus IP rights, lawsuits and other anti-competitve behavior it might be easier for other people to innovate their own versions and not have to bother Apple, Apple is not having that though They have already used terrorist tactics of fear mongering by claiming they have patents they can use to attack other touch phones, and video codecs, they DONT WANT competition, and they don't see it as useful, Google M$ .etc are all the same.

        We all watched Sci-fi before, NONE of apples product are new and revolutionary to warrant preventing anyone else from making a similar product, but boy they keep patenting shit that we have already seen examples of, even if just fictional. Patents were NEVER meant to allow someone with deep pockets to get to new technology ideas first, and keep them as a tax on the masses. They should only get protection for something new and innovative, and even then they should only be protected for a few years, to give them a chance to develop a business before people like walmart can come in and undercut you on price. After a few years it is BETTER for the GENERAL PUBLIC to have this protection removed, so that price, rather than innovation becomes the purchasing factor. (Of course Walmart using slave labor is a whole other matter, price wars should not be won on the backs of the poor in the rest of the world.

        Why is it that you jump from someone not liking the way they do business (which makes sense to me) or force behavior on people who purchase their products, into a petty cry of some spoiled prince that expect the world on a silver platter, talk about hyperbole and gross exaggeration!

        I encourage you to research more on the term Fair Use and what it means to the general public.

        When you buy something it is generally understood that you can then do WHATEVER You want to do with it, and Apple consistently goes against this common public expectation.

        I guess you are the type of guy who leaves the radio in your car to the default settings, and leaves the pictures that come with the frame in. I on the other had like to be able to change my mind, and think for myself.

        I would certainly rather have a nation of self-centered entitled people, than a bunch of sheeple citizens who do what people tell them and have no independence. Of course, if we all were thoughtful, responsible independent thinks that would be even better, but we have to realistic don't we!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Well, precisely.

      You don't like it, don't buy it. It's not like Apple goes to any lengths to hide what their products don't do.

    3. PC1512

      3 years of iPhone flash denial

      Show me a phone that was doing flash at all *well* during those three years of "denial".

      Ask yourself why such a big deal is being made of the arrival of Flash 10.1 on the very latest Android phones. Has Android been "denying" flash previously?

      1. Naughtyhorse

        step away from the koolaid there fanboi

        wtf are you taking about?

        My car was designed by some dude in a drawing office somewhere (NOT on a mac btw :D), marketed by some suit in an office somewhere, built by a bloke with a spanner somewhere else.



        what is your major malfunction dude?

        1. Naughtyhorse

          and another thing...

          does your washing machine (un jailbroken) decide what detergent you use? or whether you can wash colours, whies or a mixture. or select the temperature of the water??

          if you pulled your head out of your arse (theres an app for that) for just a second you might inderstand the question.

        2. Anonymous Coward

          @Naughtymule's malfunctioning

          If you want to buy it, you can do whatever you want with it, include take it apart, put it in a blender, or even, get this, JAILBREAK it! Whatever you want to do, you can. Stop your infantile whining!

          1. Naughtyhorse


            and there goes the point...

            right over your head - id say as usual, but you are an anon cowherd

            quelle surprise


            1. Anonymous Coward


              As your opinions get more extreme, your English seems to regress amusingly. Still, at least you've stopped swearing about your car now- I assume you found the tissues?

        3. Anonymous Coward

          You seem to spend a lot of time ranting and swearing about your car..

          Compensating for something, are we?

      2. Tom Chiverton 1 Silver badge



  2. Anonymous Coward

    Steve Jobs

    Sometimes I just wish that Steve Jobs would STFU!

    1. Scott Mckenzie


      So why in gods name would you read an article entitled 'Steve Jobs' then? I mean, there stands a pretty good chance it's going to be about him and therefore with your apparent dislike for the guy it seems a little daft to have clicked and indeed commented.

      But hey ho.

      1. peyton?


        Could be some people just can't resist checking in and finding out if Steve will reach a new plateau of hubris in his latest comments.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Thumb Down

        Re: Err..

        I said "sometimes". That implies I would have to read the article first. Yes, "err" is about the right title for your comment :))

    2. Code Monkey

      Carry on Steve

      I found that interview most entertaining. It's just a question of not taking him too seriously.

  3. Jimmy Floyd
    Jobs Horns

    <sniff sniff> Mmm, I smell BS

    "...acceptance of the iPad is proof..."

    What acceptance? What proof? The world's gimp-like fanbois lapping up Steve's dribble is hardly a new paradigm.

    "And then they run to the press and tell people about this oppression..."

    Which, funnily enough, doesn't happen on other platforms. Must be coincidence.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      returned ours...

      the lack of Flash on the iPad proved to be a significant blocker for our use-cases. It became clear in a couple of days that without Farmville et al it would quickly become a paperweight.

      Returned it (one of the best aspects of shopping in the US!) and bought a cheap netbook that feels more solid and doesn't have any restrictions.

      1. dylan 4

        without farmville the iPad is useless

        what a sad, sad life you must lead! news at 10: facebook tragics worldwide moan about apple products being a waste of their time. LOL.

  4. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    "95 per cent of all apps submitted (...) were approved within a week"

    Uh, Steve, it's not the apps that don't get approved that are the issue, it's the ones that get approved, then get yanked off x weeks later for whatever reason that is the problem.

    Well, it's not a problem for me, it's a problem for the "son-of-bitch" developers who continue to work for Jobs' platform despite the fact that His Jobsness is starting to sound more and more like a certain Zuckerberg. Or at least a bullying brat.

  5. blackworx

    Sex with Steve


  6. Mark McNeill

    Well, he is hard of hearing

    Steve's enigmatic last response:

    "Are you feeling betrayed?" != "Are you getting laid?"

  7. Dimitri

    From Trucks to iPads? Not sure it's that simple!

    "Jobs waxed metaphorically about how the rise of the iPad heralds the end of the PC era. "When we were an agrarian nation, all cars were trucks. But as people moved more towards urban centers, people started to get into cars. I think PCs are going to be like trucks. Less people will need them. And this is going to make some people uneasy.""

    All cars were trucks? Sure tell that to Henry Ford. And even if many people mostly in rural communities in the US went from trucks to cars, they then decided they missed trucks and all got into SUV's ;-)

    What's that mean?

    Maybe the future is a super powerful PC that has a tablet form factor? Maybe the tablet is just a mobile UI screen with all the heavy duty processing done by a PC in the basement or in the cloud? I'm not sure but I'm distinctly unconvinced that the future is Apple's iPad vision.

    Oh and hey, there's this other thing called the planet Earth where the other 96% of the human population lives. They also went from agrarian to urban societies but the trends about trucks and cars were not repeated.

    What's THAT mean?

    Means Steve talks a mean game of bullcr*p!

  8. Campbeltonian

    Worst car analogy ever.

    Cars were the playthings of people with more money than sense long before anyone actually found a use for them.

    1. PC1512
      Thumb Up


      And that's why they were such a commercial failure.

      Oh, wait...

  9. Disintegrationnotallowed


    I like my iPhone it was better than anything available 12 months ago, I prefer my Macbook to any other laptop I have had.

    But he still sounds at least partially mad, like a dog barking at parked cars.

    Flash is shit, I don't miss it at all, I mean ever, and the big deal being made about it makes me laugh.

    Will next time I buy the latest iPhone? dunno, depends what is available. Will I buy an iPad? No, I have seen one and they are nice, but for me personally no, however I would recommend them to non-techie relatives/friends, as I don't want calls all day and night about antivrus/malware/missing documents, blah blah.

    I do wish he would stfu at times though..

  10. Seanmon


    Steve Jobs. Sex life.

    Thanks for that little mental image there.

  11. John Carter 1

    yes and....

    What about the limitation on user experience, stability, automatic updates, security issues and proprietary software that Microsoft throw at us?

    1. dogged


      Your comment has none.

    2. harryhedgehog
      Big Brother

      @ John Carter 1

      "What about the limitation on user experience, stability, automatic updates, security issues and proprietary software that Microsoft throw at us?" hang on a mo'?

      "user experience" - Win 7 has a great UI and very good user experience - whole family loves it

      "stability" - lets see...since installing 4 months ago, not one issue.

      "automatic updates" (which can be disabled of course) - just whats needed to keep a pc up to date with the latest security issues and protection. After all tech moves on and so do criminals. Same cant be said for Apples lot...and yes their are security holes in Macs.

      "security issues" - 95% of the world is Windows so its inevitable that someone somewhere is going to try and break in. Just because no one can be arsed to weasel into Macs doesnt mean its secure. Far from it from what I have read...

      "proprietary software that Microsoft throw at us" - yep, nice to have some free sw thrown in, oh...and the option to use any other sw I choose instead of Microsofts (so not really proprietary) - same cant be said for Apple (EVERTHING is proprietary and controlled as tightly as a gnats chuff with Apple!!)

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    So now he's calling everyone liars

    He really did get bullied mercillessly at school, didn't he? If it were one or two developers then maybe, yes - he might be right. But it's becoming a steady stream of not just individuals but companies that are saying Jobs is a bit of a nob. Are they all liars? I think not.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down


      Grow some logic, your argument has none.

  13. Anonymous Coward

    The worlds most arrogant a^&%$&le:

    "My sex life is pretty good these days," he said to the 63-year-old Mossberg

    Not really surprising, since he is screwing pretty much every apple customer....

    1. Anonymous Coward


      How dare you judge *my* purchases, lest you want me to look in your closet or hand bag and start criticising your decisions. Get out of my life.

  14. Toastan Buttar


    Kojak in a turtle-neck sweater.

    1. Captain Thyratron

      You owe me a...

      That's not coffee on my keyboard.

      It is, however, The Register's closest analogue to a "your post made me chug backwards" icon.

  15. This post has been deleted by its author

  16. 46Bit


    "... You have a much more direct and intimate relationship with the internet and media and apps and your content. It's like some intermediate thing has been removed and stripped away. Like that Claritin commercial where they strip away the film. It's like that."

    Yeah, all those lovely lego bricks everywhere. Regardless of what the church of jobs preaches, the only advantage to me of an iPad would be it's very long battery life being perfect for Atlantic flights - and even then the Macbook range easily suffices when you bear in mind takeoff & landing.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Agrarian nation, trucks, cars? Pseud.

    Pretentious, isn't he?

    "When we were an agrarian nation." blah blah blah.

    Surely he meant: "iPads are for people who don't need the hassle of maintaining a PC because they don't need the flexibility of one. In the same way that someone who only needs a car shouldn't have to buy a truck."

    People who try to imbue their mundane observations with some kind of higher wisdom via spurious links to the development of mankind. Very pseud-ish.

  18. Eddy Ito

    Cart before horse?

    When the US was really an agrarian nation, people didn't have trucks or cars. They had these things called horses which pulled various carts, carriages and the occasional sleigh. It wasn't until this little thing called the industrial revolution was well underway, if not finished, when people really got cars or trucks. Besides, the whole truck fad in the US was due to government largess handed to the big three in the form of a 25% tariff on the foreign competition. Before that trucks were, by and large, spartan work vehicles with stiff suspensions but now they are fairly car like with plush interiors that you really don't want to get dirty much less clean with a hose the way we used to.

  19. Anonymous Coward


    To all those screaming bloody murder about it being your hardware. You are correct, you can do whatever you want with it and no one is stopping you. It's not illegal.

    Hack it and compile your own OS if you want but the iPhone OS is licensed and is illegal to crack etc etc.

    FYI, you own all rights to the hardware it's yours but not the software.

    1. Lou Gosselin


      "FYI, you own all rights to the hardware it's yours but not the software."

      Actually, that argument is misconceived, this debate has little to do with software owned by apple. The concern for developers is the right to run software which we own the rights to, not apple.

      There are numerous applications, open source and otherwise, which we would have the rights to compile and use on an ipad, except that apple's drm prevents us from doing so.

      Maybe I'm old fashioned and closed platforms are the way of the future, but I'll fight tooth and nail to protect the freedoms developers once had.

  20. Naughtyhorse


    I must say it's vey brave of Mr jobs to counjour up images of cars and trucks when in effect he's trying to flog the world a shiny new bike

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    HELP ME!!!

    "My sex life is pretty good these days," he said to the 63-year-old Mossberg


  22. Basic

    Anyone remember

    Anyone remember how Keith Entegrul lost the plot towards the end, with more and more outlandish claims that Phorm was being mis-represented in the press and nobody "got it".

    Jobs' words remind me of that - So I may just sit back and grab some popcorn, this could be interesting :)

  23. Piro Silver badge
    Jobs Horns

    He's flat out delusional

    No matter how well he thinks his overpriced, form over function gadgets sell, Windows has a vast majority market share.

    No, PCs aren't going anywhere.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      More is better?

      So if you buy a product that sells more, you've bought the better product? Does that make *you* better then others by extension?

      Or are you getting wrapped up in some stupid and pointless tribalism that has nothing to do with a person's worth. And why would someone declare one product to be better than the other due to quantity sold?

      I'd just claim the one that sold more is the one that is more common and less unique, but that's about as far as you can go.

      One last question - why do products win, and the people who buy them can't just be happy with their purchases?

    2. Anonymous Coward

      Form over function...

      Rubbish.Overpriced? Apple do have a higher than average mark-up see and the many other comments on that particular forum about pricing. Form over function? How can a flat, minimally designed device with a simple touch interface be form over function?! That is simply not cogent! I haven't got a problem with you not liking the "design" or the interface or even the functionality, but it's clear that you and the other individuals that choose to cite Louis Sullivan's philosophical minimalist design ideal *against* a company that is famed for its minimalist design language really haven't got a clue what you are talking about! How can minimalist design sensibilities be form over function? I see this trotted out time and again. Over simplistic or uncomfortably minimalist would perhaps be a better criticism. As for market share; irrelevant. Always has been--especially now Apple are in fact a bigger, wealthier business. I know who's shoes I'd rather be in at the moment, and they ain't Ballmers!

      "No, PCs aren't going anywhere." I think that that is a very naive position to take. Computing has changed drastically in the last few years--it's become more portable. While Jobs may be a bit premature with his predictions, I think he'll be proved right eventually. Again. That said, his previous predictions weren't exactly hard to call either! The death of the floppy and the adoption of a universal serial bus for example were hardly akin to solving relativity!

      1. Naughtyhorse


        How can minimalist design sensibilities be form over function?

        real easy. look at and piece of iCrap very pretty not great technically.

        The thing is made so bois want it purely on it's looks, on the cache they asscociate with the design cues irresepctive of how it or jobs behaves.

        hence form over function (i.e. the form of the thing if of greater importance than it's function)


        oh anf BTW relativity is not a problem requiring a solution. Its a theory requiring proof or repudiation.

        now Fermats last theorem....

        lost :D

  24. Rob Daglish


    Hmm. Why do people always go with the car analogies - yes, it is YOUR car, but try running your own software on the ECU - if you do, it usually voids your warranty, generally knackers your car if you haven't got it exactly right and there's a good chance it'll run like s*@t even if you do.

    Yes, the policies need to be quite explicit about what is and isn't allowable, but I can see why they're trying to stop you from doing this, in the same way that any car manufacturer 'restricts' what you can run on their car...

    1. SuperTim


      Installing new throttle bodies, injectors, a ported head on your engine to get the most performance out of your car usually REQUIRES a remapped ECU. As for warranty, then you have changed the manufacturers spec so of course it invalidates it, but then that's no reason to not do something is it?

      besides, if the car was advertised as having an engine suitable for racing, but having a clause in the warranty that says you can't race, then that is a more appropriate analogy. The iPad allows you to surf the web, but not how the site designer intended, as Jobsy intended.

      1. Anonymous Coward

        "...not how the site designer intended, as Jobsy intended."

        That's a bit of a stretch, even for you! Let's be absolutely clear about this (in CAPS for clarity) THE INTERNET != FLASH. Flash has it's place, don't get me wrong, but how many sites use it unnecessarily? I'd argue that a large percentage do. A lot of video sites can now use an alternative video delivery mechanism, but all still support Flash and will continue to do so for reasons of legacy. It's other main use is for ads or games, both of which can and are delivered with alternative methods. For simple interaction, valid semantic HTML, CSS and JavaScript are now more than capable, and for more complex interaction there are many different and open server-side frameworks. So, what am I trying to say? Access to content is down to the developer/designer of the particular site in question, not the platform vendor, even if the platform vendor chooses not to support certain runtimes, especially when it is being delivered as a website. From an accessibility and inclusion standpoint, Flash presents far more important problems that the exclusion of iDevice users, who ultimately don't account for much traffic as things stand. Jobs isn't ultimately dictating what site you can view; he's saying if you want to use the devices that he sells/supports then that is without Flash as he believes that that is better for the device and if you disagree you are welcome to use another device from a different vendor! I know. It isn't as exciting as the absolute fantasy and conspiracy that you like to immerse yourself in, sorry.

        1. SuperTim


          That was the long way to prove my point. If you want to view a site, it will not view properly unless it is constructed using Jobs' spec. Like i said, Flash isnt great for the most part, but the wife likes playing flash games on facebook, which means that the iPad is useless. It's one of the reasons we are not getting one. Doesnt stop me being annoyed with Stevie Jobs though. There is more than enough capacity for flash on the iPad. People who think it's a processor hog are right, but then you are only on a website, not rendering vast raytraced hi def scenes for the next hollywood block buster. Flash plays on my crappy old laptop just fine, but not a £700 iPad?

          No, Jobs' choice is not about the end user, it is about leveraging the internet industry. To deliberately withold the ability to run legitmate executable code could be considered to be an illegal practice. Hell, Microsoft are under investigation because of the order in which the browser choice menu shows their competitors' products, even though anyone can get any browser from anywhere and install it. Stopping an entire product range for no reason seems a lot dodgier (and i can see no reason, not even performance).

          And I KNOW THE INTERNET DOES NOT EQUAL FLASH, but it IS AN INTEGRAL PART OF SOME SITES, whether you like them or not.

          1. Anonymous Coward

            I KNOW!

            I NEVER SAID FLASH WASN'T! In fact I believe I said; "Flash has it's place..." Yep, I did! My point was that your missive, in claiming as you still are, that Apple and Jobs were trying to control what you see and by extension, the internet as a whole, is misguided at best. Yes, they have an interest in web video, but ultimately that will be decided by the content creators and consumers. " will not view properly unless it is constructed using Jobs' spec" That's what I take exception to. It's utterly blinkered fanboi/hater bollocks. You know it. I know it. Hell, *everybody* knows it. HTML is a free, open and largely backwards compatible spec that 100% of all web browsers from the last 10 years can render. CSS (with very minor hacks) can be rendered reasonably accurately too, and let's not forget JavaScript either. HTML and CSS are administered by working groups under the W3C, JavaScript by Ecma International. Apple are a member of some of the groups, so to are Adobe. Jobs and Apple are pinning their proverbial flag to HTML/CSS and JavaScript and saying "Flash sucks on our other platform and we don't want the same suckiness on our new one. We think the technological and therefore our future lies down this path and we are prepared to stake our business on it". It is *that* simple.

            "To deliberately withold the ability to run legitmate executable code could be considered to be an illegal practice" Two issues. First; using your rationale, what you are essentially saying is that all platform developers must support all software developers. Ok. All software developers must support all platforms too. I demand TextMate be released for Linux. I want Visio on my Mac. Apple must release Final Cut Pro and Logic for Windows immediately! By withholding the ability to run legitimate code on my platform of choice, MacroMates/Microsoft are acting in a way that could be considered an illegal practice. Why not? It *as* ridiculous as your notion, but that's not how free markets work, and neither should they. Take off your blinkers and look at things *rationally*. Second; unnecessarily using Flash for a website excludes users with special and specific needs, contravening the Disabled Discrimination Act. Using semantically marked-up HTML and CSS would make sites, like the Adobe store for instance, fully accessible to these users.

            "Microsoft are under investigation because of the order in which the browser choice menu shows their competitors' products," I wasn't aware of this, and if they are, that's fucking stupid! Internet Explorer was <strike>tied</strike> integrated too tightly to Windows, the punishment should've better fitted the crime--simply demanding that Microsoft made it easy to completely remove IE would have sufficed. Beside's the whole Internet Explorer affair is totally different. Not allowing Flash onto a new platform isn't fundamentally undermining Adobe's business in the same way that Microsoft totally undermined Netscape's. For a start, without Flash Adobe still have a rather abusive monopoly on 2D graphics creation software. Also, despite your frankly ridiculous tin-hat conspiracy theories, Apple aren't restricting Flash to own the market; if they were they wouldn't be espousing the use of open standards like HTML and JavaScript! Hey, if you know ActionScript, JavaScript and its myriad frameworks are extremely similar, and it's not as if HTML and CSS are hard to code with either! You can completely bypass the app store. Online games? There are better native apps for that, some of them free to boot! The only area where a lack of Flash really is a 'problem' is video, where it is actually a pretty good delivery wrapper. So far Adobe have failed to prove that Flash is a viable platform for app development on 'smart' devices. No, the version of Flash on other mobile devices is an older 'lite' version that isn't fully compatible with the current version. The beta is slow and unstable and consumes too much power. If Adobe fix these issues, and fundamentally change their lazy development practices, then things may change.

            And I never said I didn't *like* Flash, your knee-jerking put that in your mind. It's actually pretty irrelevant; I *like* smoking, I don't do it though, it's not very good for me!

    2. Naughtyhorse

      whoosh mk 2

      The point is that ther maker of my car ADVISES me on best practice. eg recommends bridgestone xyz tyres. should I choose to run it on goodyear ABC's that is up to me. the rims are all standard sizes so I can do that. (apple rims are all non standard - policy from day 1) and if I get less mpg and complain they may well point this out to me. I seriously doubt they would void my warranty.

      apple is telling you who can ride shotgun! you plum

      U could hack the ECU it's called chipping, and quite popular and - no they dont run like shit, they run like shit off a shovel (dont think nissan ever made a 1200 horse skyline, but they do exist), and yes it needs to be done right (thats kinda the point you are failing to get). Sure if the engine went bang I'd be on my own. but if I chipped it and the door hinges rusted through and the door fell off. I rather think my friendly dealeship would take a different view. if they ever wanted to see the colour of my beer vouchers again they had better.

      This is the thing you bois dont get. Us competent folk don't mind rolling up our sleeves occasionally, getting in amongst the noughts and ones, or cogs and bearings for that matter. We dont like it when big brother or god or whatever imaginary friend you like makes all these choices for us. especially when said big brother or god or whatever imaginary friend is clearly a meglomaniacal asshole, with an at best a tenuous grip on reality.

      The fact you are afraid of tech, and just want its (limited) functions to work when you are trying to impress other bois and are prepared to forego any and all control/ responsibility for it. speak volumes about you and says sfa about the tech.

      Hardware, OS and software are all different things (i appreciate you dont get this - but believe me they are)

      When I but a car I take it as read i determine the route, driving style and what colour fluffy dice I hang on the mirror. Okay the type of fuel it uses and the number of gears are down to someone else

      When i buy tech i determine the harware make, OS type and software that I run. the kind of display drivers and processor are down to someone else. but software??

      _I_ choose! and Bill Gates, steve jobs, hell even John von Neumann and Alan Turing himself can go fuck themselves.

  25. Rubyatwork
    Big Brother

    Steve's sex life

    Steve's sex life is good because he's getting f*cked good and proper by Google.

    1. Trevor 7

      It was an answer, not a dodge

      His answer sounded more like he was commenting on how he felt about the betrayal then a dodge. He feels he got f*#!d.

  26. Anonymous Coward

    Where are they all then?

    I find Herr Jobs' frequent references to how many gazillion iPads he's selling this week amusing. How come then that here in the East Bay, where the density of twats with iToys approaches saturation levels, I've yet to see ONE iPad in the wild? Discuss.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I've seen two

      A photographer using it at gigs to review, upload and show his snaps. Someone in the office who stays in a hotel during the week. Finds it more comfortable than laptop to watch movies and simple web browsing propped up on knees/pillow on hotel bed. Says it is "good enough" as basic laptop replacement for evening personal admin/entertainment use. Has proper kit in office and home.

      Neither are twats to the best of my knowledge. (I don't doubt twats will buy them, though).

      My guess is iPads will stay in homes for sofa surfing in front of the telly. iPhones for run of the mill out and about. And then every now and then you'll see them on trains (entertainment) or cafes (ebook reader / notebook replacement attempt.)

      Sorry to not be more negative. Until recently I was around and about White City every day and feel sure my twat-with-ipad count would be higher there.

      1. Anonymous Coward


        He's seen two! Hail the coming of the Moses Pad!!!

    2. Anonymous Coward

      Re: where are they all then?

      What? This situation doesn't fit in your small minded, label infested simplistic view of the world? Hmmmm. I think it's time to adjust your labels to fit this situation, so your world will once again be neat and tidy, with you at the centre of "good", and everything and everyone else outside in "bad". Grow up.


    3. Anonymous Coward

      Let's not and say we did

      Our devs have had a couple for a month or so, they look quite nice playing video. However, I understand that we're not in "East Bay", wherever the fuck that may be- presumably in the centre of the universe.

      Maybe it's some crazy Coriolis force, making all good things fly out from the centre of the universe ("East Bay"), to these unregarded backwaters, where the twat density appears to be lower.

      No need to bother discussing. Maybe go and argue with someone on a WinMo forum, or something.

    4. Chad H.


      Well, considering that saying that he'd sold "Two Million" when he hadn't sold that many would be Misleading the market (and therefore a crime), I'm happy to believe him.

  27. Stevie


    How come the iPad doesn't come with a clip to fasten it to the handlebars of your Segway?

    1. Doshu


      It will be sold separately -- more profit that way.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      Woz obviously wasn't consulted!

  28. Al Jones

    Get a Tivo, Steve!

    Or better yet, a Windows 7 Media Center with a Ceton InfiniTV and a couple of XBoxes as extenders, and you won't have to watch those Claritin commercials any more!

  29. Daniel 44
    Jobs Horns

    Mr Jobs

    is going to have to be removed one day. With his rather absurd and totalitarian view on things he is eventually going to become and all-out PR embarrassment for Apple. Steve is spouting off about how nothing is free and open and wants to lock down everyone and everything to Steve's way, meanwhile Google offers a lot of free and open source products and even encourages development on their mobile platform. Guess who comes off looking better.....

    1. Anonymous Coward

      @Denial 44

      Yeah, PR embarassment all the way to the bank and second highest market cap company. Yeah, I'm sure the board and shareholders are eager to throw him out. It's people who want him to be evil who wear filters and hear things he didn't say.

      Totalitarian. Oh that old chestnut. Next you're going to say he's all about censorship. Use a real argument will you please?!

      Yes, Google is encouraging developers to develop for its big brother platform, which watches everything you do, sends it back to Google who then sells your privacy on to other companies. You and I see good and evil completely opposite.

  30. Deadly_NZ
    Jobs Horns

    I What ever

    Never had one

    Never wanted one

    Never will want one


  31. Thomas 18
    Dead Vulture


    "Different pieces of tech go in cycles," he said. "They have summer and then they go to the grave."

    Isn't the defining aspect of cycles that they go round in a circle, maybe Jobs is showing his subliminal fears of a revitalised flash emerging from its metaphorical grave as a metaphorical zombie waving its arms and moaning Aaaapplllee (Metaphorical zombies are vegetarian).

    1. Anonymous Coward

      The main push for Quicktime

      Apple pushes Quicktime because the updater is basically spyware that benefits Apple, as opposed to Flash whose updater is also spyware but benefits Adobe. It really is that simple.

      1. Anonymous Coward

        Quicktime is broken Flash is broken

        Apple breaks Quicktime in realtime trying to secure it, it's updater a threat to productivity, it's "working application version" a threat to your OS. can't use the "spyware updater" and fix it without losing work. As opposed to Flash which has long time secunia threat / exploit, and god knows what else, always making it a threat to productivity, while we juggle with Js J F SL -I-mages and CSS threats, using little homemade gui buttons and text network blacklists of futile insanity waiting to get hit by the next iframe from hell. The problem being we all need both to work properly and be secure. Quicktime when it works it kicks ass, Flash when it works kicks ass.

        Burger King 2012, "yes i'll have a cup of oil, two fries and a path to the cloud please" "Excuse me you gave me coffee again", Oh I'm sorry here's your oil. "Um, which way to the cloud again?" Sorry, that way sir. "That way?" yes that way sir. "Is there any other way?" None unless you have patches already, Sir you'll need to follow with everyone else "that way" to the cloud", and today's pretty clear so you might want to hurry. "I wonder where my download patches are?"

        Oh nooooooooooo......

        It really is that simple.

  32. Anonymous Coward

    Cypress Hill wrote a song about Steve Jobs...

    I think it was called "Insane in the membrane"

  33. Anonymous Coward

    Location location locaton

    I'd like some reporter to ask Jobs what he thinks about the iPad user's survey that showed that the most common location for iPad use was in the bathroom.

  34. Ben Rosenthal
    Jobs Horns

    "You don't like it, don't buy it."

    okay, but please stop acting like I've just slapped and spat in your grandmothers face over it.

  35. Anonymous Coward

    Man Up, Stevie

    You know how embarrassing it must be for Apple that they are not competent to build an OS that can isolate a badly behaved app like Flash and protect itself? They've been working on it since 1984 for crying out loud. Apple -- and Jobs in particular -- diminish the experience of the web for all of us poor souls who have bought their products.

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