back to article The Cameregg plan: Who got what?

The people have spoken – and party leaders Nick Clegg and David Cameron, henceforth to be known as Dick Clameron, have filled in the details. A document released this afternoon reveals what Lib Dems and Tories have been talking about for the last four days, and what our new coalition overlords have in store for us over the …


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  1. Anonymous Coward

    Same old Tories

    Not even in office for 24 hours and they've already made one Scottish family jobless and homeless.

    1. Cynical Observer


      Mr Darling is gone as well

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge

        @Cynical Observer

        "Mr Darling is gone as well"

        And this is a bad thing because?

    2. Code Monkey


      I bet the Tories' single, solitary Scottish MP is livid after missing out on the Scottish Secretary position.

      1. martin burns

        David Mundell

        Appointing a LibDem to the job has 2 advantages:

        1) It's a huge poison chalice if there are tough choices to be made in Scotland - the person fronting them will be a LD

        2) It saves Cameron from explaining (in short words) to David Mundell why he's not good enough on a short list of one.

      2. David Adams

        Scottish tory

        I believe he has been made deputy to the Scottish Secretary however.

    3. Graham Marsden

      Made a Scottish family homeless:

      If they get into massive debt and can't pay it off, is it any wonder that the People (who actually own the property) decide to evict them....?

  2. Anonymous Coward

    Not quite the same

    The new party should henceforth be called ConDem

    1. breakfast
      Thumb Up


      And we shall be the ConDem Nation.

      1. Law


        *stands up dramatically* and we shall adopt *Condemnation as our national anthem!!

        When you think of the lyrics they are sorta poetic:

        "Accusations, Lies,

        Hand me my sentence,

        I'll show no repentance,

        I'll suffer with pride"


  3. frank ly
    Thumb Up

    I'd pay to watch that

    "...henceforth to be known as Dick Clameron..."

    When will the splicing operation happen, and will it be up in You Tube?

    1. Someone Else Silver badge
      Thumb Up


      We here in the Colonies couldn't possibly understand how this would work without graphics...

  4. John Tuffen
    Thumb Up

    Civil liberties

    Civil liberties stuff looks good to me.

    Can't really offer an opinion on the financial stuff (you're going to pay tax _somewhere_), and the education elements don't look too horrendous for my kids either.

    1. Graham Marsden
      Thumb Up

      Civil Liberties +1

      I agree, the list looks like a very good attempt to roll back many of the repressive laws that Labour brought in.

      I just hope that they don't start weaselling and saying "well, we'd like to get rid of this law, but it's so useful..."

  5. Jimmy Floyd
    Thumb Up


    Excellent. If they do nothing else in government they'll have, via this Great Repeal, dealt with at least half of why I took enormous pleasure in voting out NuLabour at this election.

    1. Number6


      Even if they screw up the economy (assuming we're not already on the endstop for that one), repealing all the police/nanny state laws will vastly improve the country.

  6. Anonymous Coward

    Same old Tories?

    Not sure it is, you know. Cameron apparently isn't, though whether he can deliver the party when push comes to shove remains to be seen.

    There's a fair amount of stuff in there that Blair/Brown could and should have done (or committed to doing) if they hadn't been scared witless of "the markets" and of losing their cushy post-governmental appointments.

    The banking tax, to name but one. The devil is of course in the detail, but El Gordo could have committed to the principle of a banking tax.

    El Gordon didn't, and considering that and a shedload of other missed opportunities (and broken promises going back as far as 1997) he lost a lot of votes (mine, for one).

    The Two New Etonians have even decommitted to extra runways at Thiefrow and Stansted. Why couldn't Labour have said they'd do that?

    There is a slight flaw in the ointment though: just look at the reality of any local council that's had a LibCon alliance in control (e.g. Birmingham) in recent years. It won't be pretty.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      Mid Sussex have been using their reserves to keep council tax low to appease the voters. Now, however, the cupboard is bare ... the chief exec has left the building ... the brown substance with the pungent odour has come in to violent contact with the rapid air movement device ... only a cash injection from teh Cond'em central office will save us now ... either that or the local residents will be reeling from a council tax hike and wondering just why they voted Soames back in despite his record.

    2. Chris Harden


      What happened in Birmingham? I used to go to Uni there and I've been told they have done alot of good re-structuring of the town center and really improved the place. What did I miss?

    3. veti Silver badge

      Labour voters don't live in Heathrow/Stansted flight paths

      ... Tory and LibDem voters do.

      The decision to build new runways is an example of old-fashioned class warfare. Labour was trying to piss off ConDem voters; now the ConDem regime is taking care of its own. Simple as that.

  7. breakfast

    Dick Clameron

    I thought we were referring to them as Campo and Clegg?

  8. phuzz Silver badge


    I for one welcome our new Conservacrat overlords!

    Well, if the do actually deliver what they say anyway.

    But what of the Digital Economy Bill? Forgotten already?

  9. Neil Stansbury
    Thumb Up


    I'm feeling a bit light headed. Perhaps I'm dreaming?

    There seem to be an awful lot of perfectly reasonable, pretty well balanced, common sense policies there. To use those words in conjunction with Government and Politics.... well.... I think I might need to sit down for a bit.

    Lets hope they can actually implement them.

  10. Alex Osmond

    Theresa May

    "Cameron satisfies the case for bringing women forward: by giving her as well the portfolio for Women and Equalities, he makes her a true heavy-hitter in Cabinet."

    Equality? She has an appalling voting record on gay rights which is a bit worrying.

    But good news on civil liberties, can't come too soon.

  11. Anonymous Coward

    Dick Clameron

    I prefer "The Cleggeron"...

  12. Richard Jukes


    Im amazed. The best bits of the Torys and the best bits of the Lib Dems. This is exactly what I wanted - the newness and uncorupted dreams of the Lib Dems and the Tory's doing the budget. Its like I have died and gone to heaven. Seriously, Im chuffed. And for the first time in my life Im actually happy with whom and what the government are.

    Now to bankrupt the dole dossing chavs!

  13. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Thumb Up

    Pretty good.

    I'd bet dumping the "Interception Modernization Programme" would save cash on the sort of scale needed to make some real differences.

    I predict a fair number of civil servants will become "Surplus to requirements."

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    As an observer from across the pond...

    It makes me quite happy to see the UK government step back from the really disturbing cliff-edge it had been charging for.

    If this goes the way it looks like, (and the police stop hassling photographers) I may have to reconsider my putting the UK on my "no-fly" list...

    Plus, if the conservatives and liberals in the UK can work together, maybe we can use this as a clue-by-four for our domestic political trolls. Here's to hoping.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I have to laugh

    that you're believing anything that comes out of a politicians mouth.

    I also hope Mr Clegg makes the most of his thirty pieces of silver while they last.

    And yes, I voted Lib-Dem, AC because well...

  16. Anonymous Coward

    What happened in Birmingham ... from memory from a resident.

    What's happened in Birmingham, amongst other things, is that there has been a huge focus on the city centre business areas while the areas where people live (and indeed where they work, or used to work, outside the centre) have largely been neglected (exceptions apply, as always). Some of the changes are positive, many less so.

    A large programme of redundancies at the City Council is in progress, and although some staff cuts may indeed be needed, in the bits I'm aware of the process can be politely described as "brutal" and "ill managed". Lots of Council services have been poorly delivered (zero stars for social services???) and city assets such as much of Leisure Services properties are lined up for being sold off ("selling the family silver to pay for the Sky subscription").

    The level of borrowing is such that it is alleged that 25% of revenue (total revenue? poll tax? these are very different sums) next year will go on paying interest on debt. I am not 100% confident in this, but it has an element of plausibility.

    Even the famous Kings Heath Gardeners Festival was threatened with closure to avoid risking a few thousand pounds, but it has had a (temporary?) reprieve.

    I don't believe everything I read in the Birmingham Meaning Evil, but I have reliable independent sources for this and much much more.

    Les Dawson would have summarised it as "fur coat and no knickers".

    Doubtless other versions of this story are available.

  17. Anonymous Coward


    Legislation against unnecessary legislation eh? I just hope it's really necessary!

  18. D 13
    Thumb Up

    Not a bad start

    to be fair.

  19. Steve Roper

    I'll believe it...

    ...when I see it.

    In the elections in Australia a couple of years ago we were over the moon that Howard and the Liberals were finally ousted from power. 12 years of Liberal rule saw our country devolve into a nanny police state with few if any freedoms left. Labor had always been the working-man's party, and we expected a new era of freedom and prosperity. The $900 cash handout from KRudd's Labour government was a shining start.

    Then it just turned and continued down the same despotic slope. Internet censorship, tightening of anti-free speech laws, tightening of anti-terror laws, all the trappings of the police state continued even faster than before.

    Sorry to bruise your apples, guys, but the politicians and those behind them insist on a world police state and they will continue to get it. This lot will throw you a few sops but the likes of CEOP and their ilk will continue to erode your civil liberties in the name of protecting children and fighting terrorists. The nanny state will continue apace, despite the best promises the pollies can make.

  20. Tony Paulazzo

    The best of too few options

    Another thumbs up from here, hopefully the lib dems (my choice), will reduce the tory evil gene, and if they both keep out the evil sith lord mandelson the world may yet be filled with happiness, hope and spontaneous out breaks of singing and dancing in the streets.

    Or, you know, SSDD - same shit, different day.

  21. Semihere

    "The Cameregg plan: Who got what?"

    ...we all got shafted, that's what!

    Same old Tories - first rumour is that VAT is to go up, thus neutering the LibDem 10k Tax threshold's easing effects for the worst off.

    Flames, because that's what we'll probably get on our streets like in the 80s!

    1. tardigrade


      Do you really seriously believe that had Labour stayed in power they would not have raised VAT after the election anyway? It's been on the cards no matter who got in for months.

      At least we have got the LibDem 10k threshold. Try and think back and remember what Gordo did to the 10% tax rate as well, before being forced to bodge a fix for that. Nice.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Darth Cable"

    Doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?

    1. Elmer Phud

      Poor Vince

      Vince Cable has already been shaftedqand sidelined - the one person that pulled Cleggy in to the limelight, the only person we had heard about from the LibDems until Clegg jumped on for the ride.

      It has already become apparent that Clegg has been puuling pubes from his teeth.

  23. Jon Massey

    The Aussie Liberal Party are no Liberals!

    @Steve Roper - the Liberal Party down your way is nothing like what any sane man would call Liberal in any other part of the world

    1. Steve Roper

      You got that right mate

      Liberals here are indeed Conservatives. But Labor are super-conservatives. And Family First are super-super-conservatives. We don't actually have a "liberal" party here; but then, this country WAS founded as a prison, remember?

  24. Chris 2

    "Cameregg"? Rubbish

    You missed the far better "CamelEgg" possibility. Booo

  25. Annihilator Silver badge


    "cheaper delivery options following a review of costs"

    Option to bring back the V-Bombers then? Wooo!

    Alternatively, I hear that Parcelforce are quite reasonable. Wrap it securely in brown paper, put Osama's address on it and simply pay the correct postage. Expect delivery in 2-3 business working days. Does this count as second-strike capability?

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