back to article Jacqui Smith and Charles Clarke shown the door

Former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith heads the list of high profile Labour casualties this morning. Meanwhile current party top brass thought to be under threat, such as Ed Balls, have so far been returned by their constituents. Karen Lumley, Smith's Tory opponent in the Redditch constituency overturned a majority of 1,948 to …


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  1. Just Thinking

    Anti Tory

    If you add up the votes of all the other parties there is a strong anti-Tory majority of several seats. What clearer mandate could there be for Brown to continue the success story of the past 13 years, and press ahead with the ever popular ID card scheme?

    1. Gerard Krupa

      Re: Anti Tory

      Errr, how about if he'd got an actual majority? Or maybe if he got more votes than the parties that plan to abandon ID cards? Or if there wasn't a good chance he'll be replaced as Labour leader?

    2. Tony S

      @Just Thinking

      Be Afraid...

      Be very afraid....

      "Gordon Brown has already returned to 10 Downing Street, and has said it is his "duty to play his part" in securing a strong and stable government in the next few days.

      This has prompted speculation he will approach the Liberal Democrats to try and agree some form of coalition deal - a stance backed by some senior Labour figures. "

      You may yet get your wish....

    3. Anonymous Coward


      Problem is that being "not the Tories" is not a unitary platform. Lib Dems, SNP, Plaid Cymru etc are all "anti-Tory" but they're all also "anti-Labour". SNP and PC are to the left of Labour while Lib Dems are split between being to the left and being to the right.

      OOOHHHHHhhhhh, wait a minute, I've just reread your post and you're not serious. Bugger. Facepalm @ self, going AC for that reason now...

    4. seanj

      Account hijack...

      It would appear that Just thinking's account has been hijacked by the Snake Lord Mandelson...

    5. Grivas Bo Diddly Harm
      IT Angle

      @Just Thinking

      I've 'upvoted' (yuk) your posting on the basis that you meant for it to be in Lavender, in accordance with the proposals* from the Vulture Central Humour Comprehensibility Committee, under the iron rule of Lester (for it is he) but which, because they seem to spend most of their time quaffing cider down the Fighting Dog and Pikey, has not yet been implemented. Tsk.

      If you weren't being ironic, please remember that I voted after 1000pm on Thursday, and it therefore doesn't count.

      To the barricades, mon braves!


      IT icon because it can only be a matter of minutes before some idiot suggests a multi-million pound (about $10 at the current exchange rate) government IT project to address the procedural jobsworthian cock-up at some polling stations last night.

    6. N2 Silver badge

      'Success story' ?

      Jesus Christ, give me strength...

      If you consider the last 13 years a success, Id hate to see what you call failure

      1. Anonymous Coward


        The previous years under the other lot would be a fair guess. Bank deregualation (leading too...), selling off national companies for peanuts and of course two enconomic downturns that you couldn't blame on a bunch of jokers playing poker with other's money.

      2. Just Thinking

        Sorry for the confusion

        I hoped I had put enough into the original post to flag it as sarcasm. But listening to Labour today, I can understand why some people thought I was being serious.

        Still, 11 downvotes - result!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And bloody good riddance to the pair of them...

    Just a pity more NuLabour apparatchiks didn't go the same way.

    Not that anything is going to change much anytime soon, I fear, either way... Funny how major concerns like warfare and civil liberties have hardly had a mention recently by any of the parties.

  3. blackworx

    Not that it changes anything, but...

    It couldn't have happened to a nicer person. Bye Jacqui and thanks for all your help.



  4. Marcus Aurelius
    IT Angle

    What No IT

    As mentioned - where's the IT angle?

    Obviously which party gets in will decide how much gets spent, whether contractors can dump IR35 etc, but none of this is mentioned in the article.

    Even the Sun managed to get an angle by saying that your Bulgarian Funbag viewing would be compromised if you didn't vote Conservative. (There's even an IT angle in this as the Guardian claims it was photoshopped),

    In short, must try harder.

    1. Annihilator Silver badge

      I laughed at that too

      The Bulgarian Funbag viewing threat. "Yes, they've been fine with it for 13 years, but in the next 5 they plan to get rid of this fine institution"

  5. Dave Murray
    Thumb Up


    Eff off Jacqui, you won't be missed!

  6. David Adams

    Glad to see the back of her

    although that doesn't look any more attractive than the front.

    Good riddance anyway!

  7. Flugal
    Thumb Up

    Bye Jacqui

    Good riddance to total shit.

    And welcome to some new shit...but surely can't be quite as evil as Jacqui.

    1. Chika

      Be careful what you wish for...

      You might just get it!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    good riddance

    Good to see these authoritarian nut jobs out, shame Blunkett kept his seat.

  9. Anonymous Coward

    Bye bye wacqui Jacqui

    You'll not be missed.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Whatever happened to

    ... local parties (of whatever political colour) endorsing the candidate?

    I can't see any good reason for either of the deposed to have maintained their candidacy given controversies attached to time in office.

  11. JasonH



    Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    (Stop making me laugh, it's starting to hurt..)


    Oops - I think I've wet myself.

  12. Huey

    Go on now, go walk out the door, just turn around now .....

    Mind the door doesn't hit you on the way out Jackie (let's spell it properly shall we)

    Oh and take those %^&&$%$ ID cards with you and can we have our 116k back please (you can keep the porn)


  13. Eponymous Cowherd
    Thumb Up

    Wacqui Whacked

    Good riddance.

    Shame that Ed "so what" Balls managed to cling on.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Regardless of the outcome overall

    Thank fuck the most dangerous woman ever to grace the political arena has been given her marching orders.

    I call on the nation to boycott any company that tries to add her to its board or gives her a tasty directorship now that she has lost her grip on power.

    Paris - will she pay to watch the movie now we dont have to?

    1. Anonymous Coward


      Before her it was Mrs. T

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Obvious around here (Worcestershire)

    In 1997 it was all Foster & Smith posters, now in the same areas it is Walker & Lumsden posters, with the usual Luffs in between.

    I live in one ex Labour area, commute through a Conservative area, into south end of Reddich Constiutency. We are now all blue on the map.

    Anonomous as it is too obvious to who I am. And I am at work!!!!

  16. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    When sensible humane people are made Home Secretary they appear to turn evil and stupid and vicious.

    Either a radiation dose to the right side of the brain, or something they put in the tea, is my two best guesses. I mean, I don't like to think that these people were ******s all along and we just didn't notice. You turn into a ****** when you get the job. And after you lose the job, you stay as a ******. I think I'd turn the job down. Or bring a Thermos flask and a tinfoil hat. Maybe not the professional image...

    I've wondered whether the job somehow involves talking like a ****** - "prison works" et cetera - when it isn't what you really believe, but then why do they go on being ******s when there's been a reshuffle and the job has been given to some other ******?

    Now Foreign Secretary is different. Every country in the world has the same foreign policy, and that is "******** You". So Hillary Clinton is a ****** these days but I believe it's only a professional posture. When President Obama, whom I admire, deals with foreign affairs, he too is a ******, most of the time. A tip of the hat for his efforts in nuclear disarmament. British Foreign Secretaries are also ******s, but not on the inside. The job is to be a ******. They don't take it home with them.

    I haven't heard what happened to the new Speaker. Now he had a right ****** standing agtinst him. But, troublingly, the sort of ****** that a lot of ******s will vote for.

  17. serviceWithASmile

    hey jakey

    fuck off you crazed bitch.

    oh, she did


  18. Eponymous Cowherd
    Big Brother

    Mad Meg

    I see that the results for Hackney South and Shoreditch still aren't in at 12:00. I suppose that its too much to hope that Mad Meg Hillier might be given the boot considering her massive majority.

    Still, you never know.

    Big Brother. Hopefully we will see less of him, now.

    1. Mike Richards Silver badge

      oooh I'd forgotten about Meg...

      Meg Hillier (yep, I had to keep checking the name) actually INCREASED her share of the vote! Worse still, an actual majority of voters put their crosses next to her name.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    1 down, sadly it looks like

    ...there are far too many ignorrant retards that are still allowed to not only breed but also vote and we look like having more of the communist party known as nu labour in power.

    My MP is still the money grabbing swindler who spent 153000 on expenses last year.

    Still at least 'Jack-Boot Smith' is gone.

    1. Chika


      I'd take issue with that. Equating a money-grubbing group such as nuLabour with communism is a bit like saying that Microsoft are a genial open-source company. Both scenarios need o be taken with several large pinches of salt.

    2. Lamont Cranston


      New Labour (nuLabour? Ugh.) can hardly be classed as Communists - they're not even Socialists any more.

      My money-grabbing, Labour MP has been "ill" and is no longer an MP, so small mercy, I suppose.

      1. Eponymous Cowherd
        Thumb Down

        No, not communist....

        Although their authoritarian style is certainly moving in the Stalinist direction.

  20. Jimmy Floyd

    Jacqui's departure made me so very happy this morning

    But I do take issue with your sub-line: "Being Home Secretary proves unpopular."

    Surely being an evil, arrogant, self-serving, evil (again), pompous, Stasi-wannabe witch had more to do with it? :-)

  21. The Fuzzy Wotnot


    However, she will now start milking her "fame" on the talk circuit, creaming in more money for hubby to blow his stack on bongo flicks!

  22. ColonelClaw
    Thumb Up

    Don't let the door hit your (massive) arse on the way out

    /tar Jacqui


  23. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Big Brother

    The Doomday scenario

    Broon declares that he can best "Serve the country" by invoking emergency powers and instituting direct rule by the cabinet as a "temporary" measure.

    You just *know* he's not going to leave the No 10 bunker without a fight.

    On a happier note.

    It was never really likely Blunkett and Johnson would be dumped as well. A truly *clean* sweep was too much to hope for. Dumping Johnson (and 1 or 2 of his junior henchpersons) might have thrown another spanner in the ID card works however. As it stands they sound like the leads in really bad 70s cop show.


  24. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Clint Sharp

      Not at all...

      It's called democracy, just a shame we didn't throw it further IMHO

  25. Anonymous Coward

    Oh dear....

    ..maybe those 3000 houses on green belt land that your goverment is pushing for in Redditch (well for supposidly for Redditch but built on Conservate held Bromsgrove land) won't get through.

    Looks like you'll have to get a proper job.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    What ever 'x' is I think I could live with that. Especially now the witch is dead.

  27. tony2heads
    Thumb Up


    Ding, dong the witch is dead

  28. Someone Else Silver badge

    For those of us in the colonies...

    Could you please explain the phrase: "overturning a majority".

    In American English, that phrase just doesn't parse....

    1. Anonymous Coward

      It's easy

      In the previous election the incumbant candidate had more votes than the nearest opponent. The number of votes was the "size of the majority".

      In this election, the voters changed their collective minds and voted for someone else and thus removed the incumbent,. The phrase "overturning the majority" describes this process.

      Smilely face: because the bitch of Reddich has been Jack booted out.

    2. Anonymous Coward

      In American English (sic) nothing parses

      The travesty of spelling and grammar that is American English should be washed down the sewer where it belongs as soon as possible. As a small point, majority, as a noun, is perfectly happy to be overturned.

      Along with the ridiculous weights and measures that all of 3 countries in the world use, Liberia, Burma and the USA for those wanting to identify the third world correctly.

      And finally, football is short for association football, and around 5.7bn in the world understand that it means the sport where you spend most of the game kicking a ball with your feet. Not American Football which only around 300mn in the world call football.

      1. asdf

        wonder what its like

        I wonder what its like to be the greatest empire in history only to watch yourself slide into near irrelevancy while a former colony dwarfs you in every sense of the word. Guess you are still sore about the UK and Blair being our lap dog and doing exactly what we ordered in Iraq (misery loves company I suppose). Yes the US has lots of problems these days but the UK is not looking a lot better according to the article and comments (brothers in massive debt as well, but then we don't have to defend the EU thank God). Still chew on this fact as far as advancing the knowledge of humanity.

        Nobel prize winners:

        UK - 116 (not bad)

        US - 320 (unmatched)

        Israel - 9 (not bad for only 6 million people and only existing 60 years)

        Iran - 2 (literature and peace but still positive number is good)

        Iraq and Afghanistan combined - 0 (pretty much sums up their contribution to humanity in the last century, dumb friggin republicans with their industrial complex dogs of war

  29. John Savard Silver badge


    While it is unfortunate that your country will be plagued by the problems attendant upon having a minority government for the next few years or months, at least George Galloway has lost his seat, I hear.

  30. Graham Marsden
    Thumb Up

    Ding dong...

    ... the Wicked Witch is Dead!

  31. Anonymous Coward


    Nice to see people who fabricate scientific information and run "save the children" campaigns get kicked out even if the beeb refused to mention that side of it.

    Blunkett couldn't see who was winning! he guessed

  32. Anonymous Coward

    @Someone else

    re: "In American English, that phrase just doesn't parse...."

    In English, your phrase doesn't parse ... however:

    Overturning a majority is usually when the previous candidate had a significantly higher number of votes than any challenger, and that has ceased to be the case to the extent that a challenger now has more votes than the previous incumbent.

    It is not related in any way to whether the previous incumbent invoiced the taxpayer for the costs incurred by her husband's porn viewing. Given that it is incredible that anyone would do that, and incredible that a prime minister who has just lost an election would not stand up and follow his moral compass towards the nearest sword, looking to his second to say "please hold this sword while I fall onto it", it's entirely understandable things may seem confusing.

  33. Anonymous Coward

    Jaqui > /dev/null

    Pity the hubby, she's going to be around the house a lot more, no more grumble flicks. It's back to shagging with your eyes closed for you matey.

  34. Anomalous Cowturd

    Here's your coat love...

    I've emptied the pockets.

    Now fuck off!

  35. Anonymous Coward

    Typo in article & Wacky Jackie - good riddance

    Shouldn't Charles Clarke have been an MP since 1997, not 2007.

    But the end of Wacky Jacky - hurrah

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wacqui Jacqui Booted


    Shame they didn't do the same for the Salford Leprechaun.

    Paris, we've got another week at least of this bullshit and I will need her to keep me occupied.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Shame We Can't Get Rid Of Mandy

    Let's see if Cleggy makes it a condition of alliance that the house of lords has to be elected.

    Nice result on the woman who's husband likes to watch porn thanks to the taxpayer - made my day and felt almost as good as when Portaloo got the boot by twiggy

  38. ElFatbob
    Thumb Up

    good riddance to bad shite

    pity there weren't more joining them.

  39. Charley 1

    Sheffield returned Blunkett?

    Obviously just blind loyalty.

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just goes to prove

    Too many five-knuckle shuffles really are bad for you (or at least your other half).

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