back to article Perv scanner todger quips provoke Miami airport assault

A perv scanner operator at Miami International Airport has been arrested for allegedly laying into a co-worker over quips about the size of his manhood, the Miami Herald reports. Rolando Negrin was exposed to fellow Transportation Security Administration (TSA) operatives' ridicule during training on the body scanners, when …


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  1. Ken 16 Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Too small, too big?

    When will the littlest bear wander into the scanner and get the approval of the other animals?

    Paris: wondering what that little thing is

  2. Anonymous Coward

    It's the Law!

    If you've nothing to hide then you've nothing to fear.

    If people slag you off for your small manhood, Negrin and bare it!

  3. HFoster

    Title, innit

    He took a year before battering one of them. One. Year. Compare that to the lazy so-and-so at Heathrow who took one reference to her chest as the get-out she was looking for to lead a life of sloth.

    OK, so her breasts would be in greater evidence than his penis, even without a perv-scanner, but I'm sure a lifetime of chest-directed attention would have greater effect than a single comment from a co-pervert; hence my opinion of her laziness.

    A year of todger jokes is another story. I'm not condoning his actions, just drawing a comparison. Pick on someone for a year about something that may already weigh heavily on their mind, and I'm sure they'll eventually crack.

    1. Professor Tinklepants
      Thumb Up

      "I'm not condoning his actions....."

      I bloody-well am! I'd have fed the bastard my baton (fnarr-fnarr) long before a year was up.

      Good work, that man!!

    2. unitron

      "...a lifetime of chest-directed attention..."

      Do you really think that was the first time in her life some jerk teased her about her breasts?

      Do you think that was the first time that particular jerk did so?

      1. HFoster


        Read my post again.

        I said, "... but I'm sure a lifetime of chest-directed attention would have greater effect than a single comment from a co-pervert; hence my opinion of her laziness."

        LIFETIME. That was the keyword there. Thanks for joining in.

    3. Ammaross Danan


      I give him credit for lasting a year before acting. However, Human Resources for workplace harrasment would have been the better option. Either make them fear you with the threat of HR, or get them fired so you don't have to work with the presumably childish behaving people any more. Of course, it IS is the USA, so a lawsuit for mental anguish and invasion of privacy for having been scanned in front of co-workers in the first place would have been the more common approach...

      1. No, I will not fix your computer
        Thumb Down

        Teasing about something non apparent...

        He gets a fail for not going to HR?

        Firstly HR in these big organisations are big faceless structures, the responsibility for these sort of things has shifted from management to discourage reporting.

        Secondly, is he going to go to HR and say "these people tease me about my small penis", the simili of a woman being teased over large (or small) breasts is not true as the evidence of such is apparent and no admission of large/small breasts is required (i.e. it's far less embarassing for a woman).

      2. Boring Bob


        "However, Human Resources for workplace harrasment would have been the better option" What??? Get real! Being a woman and going to HR to complain about people saying you have big tits is one thing. Being a bloke and making a public official complaint that "My colleagues are teasing me because I have a small willy" will condemn you to a life of ridicule throughout the airport. I think most blokes in this guy's situation would have done the same thing. Any decent jury should acquit this man.

  4. SW
    Paris Hilton

    Was the A/C set to COLD...!

    Could it not have been down to the A/C setting...?

    Paris, because it's never cold around her

  5. Skizz
    Thumb Down

    Zero Tolerance

    They might have "a zero tolerance policy for workplace violence" policy, but what about a "a zero tolerance policy for workplace bullying" which is pretty much what's been going on.

    1. MeRp

      Not just bullying...

      This would actually be classified as sexual harassment here in the US. In theory he should have reported the harasser instead of attacking him, but there is a strong culture of machismo here that prevents most guys from reporting any sort of harassment.

      In some cases, I think ti may well have been worth it; with a harassment case (unless the TSA is one of those zero tolerance for harassment places), usually the harasser will get off with a stern reprimand; which means he keeps his job. In this case the harassment obviously continued for a year, so maybe, just maybe, he'll lose his job.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Saw this coming....

    So much for the claims that no-one would be able to make out any details. It's obviously not the case...!

    1. Anonymous Coward

      A Title! A Title! My Kingdom For A Title!

      So, he gave you a demonstration then?

    2. Annihilator Silver badge

      re: saw this coming...

      Nope, the case in point here was that they *couldn't* see any details

      1. Rex Alfie Lee
        Thumb Down

        Prime example of sexual harrassment

        Innuendo is harassment & bcoz the nature of this case is voyeurism it immediately becomes sexual harassment. I'd hit you myself if I could reach. You are an A-hole of the lowest order & belong with the Cs that this poor bastard had to deal with for a year. It's a pity he didn't put the A-hole in a coma, then maybe he would have had some time to think about what he was doing by bullying the fellow.

        Btw, I don't condone violence but if you say I do then I'll have to hit you...

  7. The Original Ash

    Who'd have thought

    that $10 an hour security personnel would be immature and childish, and completely unprofessional.

    These are the people we entrust out safety to, folks. Purile idiots with the power to say yes or no to your travel plans, just because you look awkward when you submit to having your body stared at by an idiot in a uniform.

    Remove the scanners.

  8. Scott 19
    Thumb Down

    And another...

    Great guberment idea causes more problems than it solves.

    I'd like to see the figures in a few years of how many people they caught with these compared to how many people have been adusing the system.

    1. DPWDC

      No no no no no!

      You miss the point, see by having the perv scanners, they put terrorists off trying to board a plane, so by NOT catching anyone at all they will prove that they work 100%...

      Equally, the cup I have on my desk has been adequate protection from Albatross attack. Not once have I been attacked by an Albatross while sat at my desk.

      Surelly you know the country is powered by spin?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well, that was enlightening.

    So much for our politicians' assurances about privacy. As if there was any doubt whatsoever. Why do we still bother to vote for their lies?

  10. Arkasha

    He should

    sue for sexual harrassment.

    1. Dave 64 Silver badge

      there may be a case for sexual harrassment...

      ...but will it stand up in court?

      1. Rex Alfie Lee

        And I wonder...

        if you could stand up with intelligence but I doubt it

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    All a bit stupid

    Presuming the chap with the allegedly small todger was not sporting an erection - in which case you could judge how big his todger is - if he was flacid then it being small is nothing to comment on. There is very little relationship between the size of a chap's flacid old-chap and a fully-stood-to-attention old-chap. A chap with a small flacid old-chap could produce an impressively sized erect old-chap, and a chap with a large-when-flacid old-chap might manage only a relatively small erect old chap.

    Obviously as a chap I am going to say mine is simply humungous under both conditions, but people with a small-when-flacid one ought not to get violent when goaded.

    1. Anonymous Coward


      People with small ones often say that... ;-)

    2. The Fuzzy Wotnot

      Old son...

      ...your obsessive knowledge scares me! A lot!

    3. Winkypop Silver badge

      The todger challenged.....

      ..often say this. (cough)

    4. Rex Alfie Lee

      You dick-

      -head! Your butt is full of what you speak.

  12. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    Should be more creative.

    Swipe enemy's car keys, put a couple of empty gas canisters in their trunk, drive the car to just where the CCTV can't see it, and leave it with the engine running. Back to your work station and wait for the controlled explosion.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Thumb Down

      Nah, way OTT.

      Try putting a couple of fresh mackerel* in the cabin air intake. For added fun, prepare the ground by spreading a rumour that your victim has a weird sexual thing for fish.

      Always good for a laugh.

      *Some cars don't have a convenient place in their intakes for fish. In such cases, pouring in half a pint of double cream often does the trick. Unfortunately the demise of paper tape and the widespread fitting of pollen filters has put paid to the hysterically funny** "instant snowglobe" trick.

      **Which is what you're *really* after. Everyone else to laugh themselves silly at the SOB and take the piss out of them rather than you.

      1. Phil 54


        run a wire from the brake cylinder to the horn. On older cars you can do it without even opening the hood/bonnet.

      2. Boring Bob
        Thumb Up


        I know someone who had a mackerel stuck in the air intake. Even after it was removed the smell never left the car. Emptying your ash tray in their air intake is a common and convenient one.

    2. Fluffykins Silver badge

      Controlled explosion my arse!

      Have you ever seen anyone with enough control to stop a "controlled explosion" halfway through?

  13. Scary

    Perv Scanners?

    I think they scan everyone with them, not just the perverts.

  14. A B 3

    It's not what your mother said last night

    He is obviously one of those quiet types, who keeps everything bottled up.

  15. irish donkey
    Thumb Up


    Sir it my job.

    Oi you looking at my tits?

    Sir it is my job

    Well thanks to everyone that voted Labour (including my soon to be ex-wife) there will be no change here. Well done!

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Divorce for voting Labour?

      I admire your principles, even if they may seen a little extreme to some...

    2. Rex Alfie Lee

      Hmmm - really thought that one out...

      Irish, absolutely, perhaps a mule instead.

  16. John Savard Silver badge

    Inappropriate Zero Tolerance

    What there should be zero tolerance for is indecent mortal insults. It is unfortunate that he lashed out violently, thus placing himself on trial, instead of doing what many women have done, suing his employer for millions of dollars for tolerating sexual harassment in the workplace.

  17. Eddy Ito

    That's what happens

    When people don't read. Had our little fellow been a reader he might have known how to subvert his rival. That said, he should start with "The Prince" and who knows, he could be POTUS one day.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Is carrying wood through an airport an offence?

    TSA spokesmember said 'He should have picked on someone his own size', whilst sniggering.

    Now back to cutting 'BOO*' out of lead sheet to sew into my underpants.

  19. mafoo

    At least...

    At least he had a big truncheon to whip out...

  20. captain veg


    "He faces an aggravated battery rap."

    Ouch. I wouldn't want to be rapped with an aggravated battery.


  21. aelfheld

    Nice work if you can get it

    "The actions of a few individuals in no way reflect on the outstanding job our more than 49,000 security officers do every day to ensure the safety of the traveling public."

    49,000 security officers doing an outstanding job of harassing grannies daily.

    Terrorists being searched for by the FBI? Let ICE take care of them - can't distract those TSA workers looking at children's naughty bits.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Point Proved Then

    When people initially complained about these things they were told that the people using them, were creafully picked, well trained, sensible, responsible, adults so nobody had anything to fear. This case and another previous case show that the operators are clearly not carefully chosen, well trained, sensible or responsible. They appear to be a bunch of cocks (big and small) who would more normally be emplyed hanging off scaffolding and whistling at passing women.

    If this sort of thing happens when their colleagues step into the perv scanner what sort of fun do they have day to day with images of Joe & Jo public.

    The best bit is that the authorities tell us that we can refuse to step into the perv scanner and be manually searched instead. Rock and a hard place. Which would you rather allow; one of these pervs ogling your naked body; or one of these pervs fondling your clothed body and then putting on the rubber glove?

  23. Anonymous Coward


    I've searched iTunes for the aggravated battery rap, but I can't find it.

    Friday. 4pm. Beer.


  24. Maty

    but of course ...

    As we and our families go through these screens, none of the airport staff will be keeping up a running commentary on any physical defects - or attributes - they see.

    No sir, they will all be too busy stopping terrorists.

    Or is having to parade your 16-year-old daughter's body in front of this sniggering gang part of the price of going on a foreign holiday?

  25. Is it me?

    Grown up people

    Get tiered of looking at body parts, and leave that to Sun readers. Grown up people also know there is no correlation between normal and excited and that average is not 12", to most woman's relief.

    Still we are all different, thank god.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I await...

    ...the complaint to the police for voyeurism.

    Obviously the "security boys" are not professionals, just average perverts with a penchant for genital watching.

  27. Allan George Dyer Silver badge

    "TSA has a zero tolerance policy for workplace violence."

    So what are their instructions when faced with violent terrorists? And why do they issue them with batons?

    OK, OK, I'm leaving... Have you checked the pockets on that yet?

  28. Rune Moberg Silver badge

    I, for one, welcome our new perv overlords...

    I find the current arrangement to be one of convenience. I've started driving my car more and am willing to spend days on the road as long as I don't have to be near any pervport (oh, that is "airport" to you).

    You see, back in the day, pervs where everywhere as well as those hungry with power abusing their authority at every turn. These days they're all employed by pervports, so we normal people do not have to interact with them on a daily basis.

    I'm currently waiting for the 2011 Saab 9-5, and once it arrives I'll be an even happier camper.

  29. salada2k

    Operated by humans = FAIL

    You know, I can see the sense in having these perv scanners, but not operated by human beings. Software has long been around that is capable of scanning a digital image, and looking for 'things of interest', so why is this job performed by humans? I think it's safe to say that's the main issue anyone has with these scanners, the people operating them are just glorified perverts. Remove the human factor.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He had a short fuse

    At school there was a guy we usually called "Fusebox". For the benefit of El Reg's international readership I should perhaps explain that this was an allusion to the sort of fuse that goes in a UK plug: BS 1362, length 1 inch, diameter 0.25 inches as the spec seems to predate metrication. Fortunately, however, he didn't have a short fuse in the sense of having an anger management problem as he put up with this moniker for about five years and only occasionally attacked us with a sharp implement. Sometimes we called him "Dumbo" because he also had ears that stuck out. In his last year at school he had his ears pinned back. "Nice ears", we told him. "It's a shame you still have a tiny cock." What bastards we were. Anyway, if "Fusebox" can take it for five years, Negrin should be able to take it for a year without overreacting!

  31. David McMahon


    Drive! no scanners for me!

    Get a comfy car!

  32. DI_Wyman


    doesn't really matter. It's how you use it what keps them coming back for more!


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