F*ck you, thunders disgruntled Here's a poser for you: What's the difference between a fanboi and an informed Apple user? The answer? Well, here's the opinion of one Aaron, in response to our piece Apple in Brazilian iPad shocker, in which this hack evidently failed to distinguish between discerning technology aficionados and slavish worshippers at the …
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go,
The fanboi says, "well, I can't jump because the interface to the parachute system is way to ugly."
The luser says "I can't jump because it's an illegal operation."
The peguin jumps, but fails to survive because it couldn't decide which of its 13 parachute packages it wanted to use, while the plane itself crashes because nobody noticed that the plane manufacturer had linked the control systems to the penguin.
...my personal saviour Steve Jobs is due to announce a new iPhone that will be even more like a real phone and there will be new iPads and I think there is an app to cancel out that whistling sound and Steve Jobs wouldn't want me missing out on those since he is doing his best to make iStuff safe and secure and unable to do anything He wouldn't do and then I have to...
The penguin and the luser, both looking out of the planes hatch watch the fanboi disappear through the cloud layer. They look at each other.
"Jobs a good un" says the penguin.
"I guess we really do have things in common" says the Windows luser.
"have a family at home that loves me." The penguin and the Windows lUser respond with the same, and they all look at each other knowing that no one will volunteer.
The pilot comes out of the cockpit and checks to see if they have made a decision.
"No one wants to jump, sir." the penguin tells him. The pilot walks to the back of the plane and grabs the only parchute. He opens the door, and as the wind is rushing in they hear him yell to the fanboi, "F*ck you, Kevin Smith. Lose the weight!" and the pilot parachutes safely to the ground as the plane crashes into the mountainside.
The fanboi says, "I can't jump because ..." and then the penguin slaps him across the face, throws the Windows luser out the door because the luser has blue-screened already. Then the penguin says, "I'm already backed up on the Internet," and dives out. The pilot, realizing that there's only the fanboi back there, gives the plane a barrel roll and fanboi goes tumbling out through the open door.
This has been brought to you by zOS Airlines.
Although I'm not a Mac user myself, I'm also bothered by the excessive use of the term "fanboi" and similar expressions. They can be OK and funny if used sparingly but The Register has gone way overboard in this in my opinion.
I very much appreciate the critical viewpoints expressed here, but a cutback in name-calling and general rudeness would certainly serve this site well. If I ever stop coming back, it'll be most likely because of this.
Just my two cents.
Who is really, truly obsessed by Macs, iPads and iPhones, and can't talk about anything else? Regtards, of course.
I am surprised we don't see more "news" like:
"New botnet discovered -- by a AV researcher who, when asked, said the iPad is cool"
"Naomi chucks another phone at a servant... if it was as heavy as an iPhone it would really hurt"
"Watch out for the next Microsoft's Patch Tuesday -- iPhone upgrades not included"
"Obama says Nasa will go again to the moon... which is orbiting the Earth... which contains several million iPhones."
"Several UK voters used their iPhones before voting -- what does it mean?"
For a while now, El Reg has been referring to Apple users as fanbois, regardless of context. Apple users complain about a bug and the headline reads "Fanbois howl" - how is that an accurate use of the term? Real fanbois deny all failings of their beloved whatever. Insult them when they have it coming, not all the bloody time!
Blanket attacking a usergroup actually seems a lot like fanboi behaviour to me (and don't start on me - I've never owned anything apple).
and the pilot says, "We're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go".
The fanboi says, "Well, I can't jump because it's not supported. But Apple have got this brilliant other thing called LeapyBounceBounce which only costs $8.95 and does everything that jumping can do, but better. That said I think I need the next version of the iThingy to make it work".
The Linux pengiun says, "Well I can't jump because I can't decide which is the best way to do it. There's a package for it, but someone's done a module which needs some tweaking and it'll take twenty-five minutes to compile. Mind you I'll need to update libjump.so for this release. I might see if there's an emacs version while I wait."
The Windows luser says, "I'll jump". "What?", exclaim the others, "You'll be killed!". "Yeah", he replies, "but for fuck's sake at least I'll have some peace and quiet".
Did el reg ever suggest that only fanboys use Apple products? I just figured that Apple users that aren't fanboys would assume the reg wasn't referring to them, and move on. I'm not offended by the term, and I have one of these fancy new unibody macbook pros that everyone seems to like.
Of course it's for work, and I didn't have any say in the purchasing decision. I personally find it to be heavy and somewhat annoying, but whatever floats (sinks) your boat, I guess.
Windows luser "i cant do it, we dont have the time or money to pay for the software i'd need to perform this most basic task, when trying out some 3rd party app's for this in the past i picked up a few viruses and for some reason my browsers home page is now Mr lawrence Balthasar's Friendly and honest bank in Ghana"
Linux Penguin says "Fuck it, i'll do it if means i dont have to listen to this shit anymore, he tries to step forwards to the hatch and end's up going backwards, then he tries to walk around the windows luser and moves in the opposite direction. Try as he might he cant repeat the same thing twice and eventually sit's back down with his head in his hands to wait for the next update
The Mac meanwhile has noticed none of this and is still absorbed by his image in the mirror.
Windows luse looks at Penguin, in the blink of an eye they both realise which of the three the world could live without, the corporations and slaves that have to use windows and the server market will be safe as they kosh the fanboi over the head and stuff him out the hatch.
. . . my iSlave EULA specifically states that I can only jump out of planes owned and operated by Apple, and that if the time comes for me to make the ultimate sacrifice, I will be personally notified by the Supreme Apple Being using approved H.264 video on my iDeviceOfChoice.
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says,
"well, I can't jump because I'll need permission from Steve first and he isn't answering my emails".
The penguin replies " well I cant jump because penguins cant fly".
The luser looks out of the window and sees the sea below and says "It's ok I'll jump, the sea reminds me of the BSOD"
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and...
...the three spread out, fingers poised above their holstered smartphones. The cabin lights beat down mercilessly, and somewhere in the distance a spanish guitar twangs as a harmonica strikes a discordant note.
Sweat beads, eyes flicker back and forth, and fingers twitch as the guitar quickens into a crescendo. And then -
The Windows luser draws first, stabbing frantically at his custom skin. The Linux penguin is only a split second behind, grasping at the strange chin on his Android phone...
...but too late. In a blur, the fanboi draws his iPhone, pairs with his rivals' phones, launches the "iTaser" app and sends a high-voltage pulse coursing through their bodies. As they convulse, he drags them towards the emergency exit.
First to go is the Windows luser, screaming into the darkness. Breathing raggedly, the Linux penguin clutches at the doorframe, and gasps "How... were you... so fast...?"
The fanboi holsters his iPhone, then gives the penguin a hearty shove. As the penguin drops into oblivion, the fanboi's last words ring in his ears... "Sequence shortened"
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because...
Who will save me?
Dont worry said the Penguin, I see a super hero.
Who they cried?
"Its Flash aaa aaaa saviour of the universe"
He cant save me cried the Fanboi
No one can they replied your doomed to the jobsian prison mwwwwha ha ha
'There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, 'well, I can't jump because that would be silly. I'd rather just walk. After all, the plane hasn't taken off yet.'
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because...
The penguin said he would jump after he updated his will. Being unable to decide between Emacs and VI he was parylzed.
The fanboi, lacking a crowd of lemmings to follow, was unable to find the exit.
The Windows user had his critical system files deleted by McAfee and was stuck at a grey screen.
As the plan neared the ground suddenly someone leaped to action. As the pilot left the plane he cursed the load of idiots so enamored with their toys that they forgot to live in the real world as the aircraft spiraled to the ground and burst into flame.
Good show. Readers are invited to provide the ending for another poser: There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because...
...... "then I'll be gone in a FLASH!".....
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I won't jump because...
I know enough to walk back into the terminal and to wait for a real plane. Same way I know how to buy a real computer.
... Steve Jobs will sue you if I die, it's in my EULA. And brother, when Steve Jobs sues you, he sues you good.
And then the Windows luser says "Hang on, Steve Ballmer is lawyers just as big as Steve Jobs, that means I can't jump either!"
And then the Linux penguin says "If I die, all SCO's lawyers won't have anything to do and they'll turn on the hand that feeds them... you boys better watch out!"
So none of them jumped and the plane crashed.
He would say:
Because "Jump" is a song recorded by the rock group Van Halen. It is the only single the group released in their career to reach number one on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. It was released in 1984 as the second track on the album 1984. The song breaks the mold of earlier Van Halen songs, mainly in its rolling synth line (played on an Oberheim OB-Xa), although the song contains the standard Eddie Van Halen guitar solo, which Eddie claims as his favorite solo he never wrote. This refers to the fact that the producer spliced parts of two different takes to create the one heard in the song....
Then the other two jump off the plane.
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go,
The fanboi says, "well, I can't jump because i'm really the Windows luser trapped in boot camp which means i'm destined to crash"
The Penguin looks at the Apple Fanboi/Windows Luser and simply says "Screw you I can't jump because that violates one of Microsofts unknown patents that I have been taken to court for in the past" then just dumps all his packages that he doesn't need except for GIMP so he can doodle how much he hates the Mac/Windows Fanboi for installing the Full Adobe Creative Suite in both Windows & Mac OS
fanboi (fangrrl): Someone who takes personal exception to anyone criticizing their OS/platform of choice. For the most part, comments from these people can be safely ignored. Seriously, fankids, the OS and hardware don't give a rats ass about you, personally, nor does the billion-dollar multinational corporation whose shareholders you keep happy with your disposable income ... Why are you so emotionally attached to your kit? Seek help.
user: Someone who just uses their OS/platform of choice. May or may not be technically inclined. The cognizant reader can usually separate the wheat from the chaff when users comment. Most have a preferred OS/platform, but aren't emotionally attached to it.
admin: Someone who knows that all hardware sucks, all software[1] sucks, all OSes suck, all fanbois/grrls suck, but occasionally a user can become enlightened. Comments from admins usually walk the blurry line between trolling and cold, hard reality.
[1] There is no such thing as software. Software is merely the current state of the hardware.
"The doors are locked and Steve says I'll be safe in a locked down environment."
The Linux penguin flapped his flippers indicating that, as usual, he didn't have the the ability to do standard tasks like opening doors.
The windows user put on his paracute, opened the door and jumped... crashes are a fact of life.
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because...
The apple fanboi says that Steve Jobs didn't approve the iChute application cause it implies that apples might be prone to crashes.
The luser then states that his own parachute was never updated to run on windows 7.
The Penguin then then takes luser's parachute and straps it on his back using wine, jumps out the plane only to fall to his death after wine crashes due the parachute not to not being fully tested on wine.
Both Fanboi and Luser look out the window to watch penguin fall to his death, Luser says "Do you want to be the one to tell the other penguins about this? Or shall I?" Fanboi says "I'll do it, I have an app for that", then looks at his phone and abruptly states, "I'll do it first thing when I get a steady wireless signal"
In my few years as IT support have seen a stream of mac users who know zilch about using what is otherwise a great piece of kit. All Mac users I have seen seem only to know how to use the interface /keyboard/mouse and not have a slightest idea of how to use mac (eg ask any mac use about cmd+tab to cycle thru open applications or even expose ) .
For goodness sake if you profess to be a fanboi of something pretend to know a bit more about the product not just the apple spin.
Disclaimer : I am a apple developer with absolute respect for Microsoft windows in which i dabble a lot. And this is typed on a macbook.
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because...
The world wants me to innovate more and resell the same crap re-badged over and over again, cause that's what innovation is, hey what's xerox doing?
Windows luser gets all frenetic and says "But I'm the standard! I should be deciding who will jump! and how high! and then they should pay me royalties for it!"
The Linux penguin looks at both of them and jumps from the plane in a fit of suicidal despair, lest he become as detached from reality as his two companions.
The plane crashes because it's still overloaded.
It turns out that the parachute app was translated from flash and the app store pulled it. It wouldn't help if I jumped said the penguin I'm too damn small to make a difference. Fuck it then i'll go said the luser, I've had more experience of crashes than you two bastards put together anyway
...and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because the landing will spoil my beautiful face. The penguin says I can't jump because it'll take too long to change into my jumping-out-of-an-aeroplane skin. The luser says I'll jump - you land, drop off the penguin and the fanboi and swing back round for me. I won't have progressed from where I was when you left me behind, the gas and bloat will keep me up and I cam amuse myself flipping through this spreadsheet or colouring up a flow-chart.
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There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because... The fanboi is suddenly obscured by a large rotating beach-ball, the penguin and luser seize their opportunity and hurl the pratt earthward.
the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because...
I am so full of hot air I am actually reducing the weight of the plane. I've ssh'ed into the plane's systems, downloaded the engine management systems byte code into my jailbroken iPad and I am modifying it to increase the thrust, get more lift from the wings and save us all.
The Penguin's eye glazed over has he had heard all this before, many many times, and new it would take several attempts to never quite reach the utopia the fanboi was presenting, complete with animated transitions, in his keynote.
Luser too committed to deliver all this and more, next Tuesday, and set about asking all his fellow passengers for an extra $249 to upgrade to the Ultimate package where he promised airplanes would never crash again.
That was when DoJ and FTC jumped up from their seats at the back of the plane, helped themselves to a nice chunk of the money Luser was about pocket, laughed openly at the penguin knowing he would never convince anyone of his abilities and unceremoniously shutdown the fanboi, grabbed him by the scruff of his black turtleneck sweater and threw him out the door.
...I haven't photoshopped my final moments yet.
...you didn't tell me to in Objective-C.
...I would need to lance my ego to fit through the door.
...I like watching penguins fumble with windows.
...the door doesn't respond to pinching or squeezing.
...I still have 23 months to go on my AT&T contract.
There's a Linux penguin, a Fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the Fanboi says, "well, I can't jump because...
...I'm filled with shit, my shoes are filled with semen, my iParachute looks great but isnt designed to open, and besides, the UK version of the Jump app wont be out for another year and is ten times more than I can afford.
The bloated Windows luser waddles over to the viewing screen and looks out at the blue, freezes for 30 minutes for no apparent reason, then says "I cant jump because you wouldnt just be killing me, youd be killing the hundreds of thousands of parasites that live inside me.. and besides, my russian control centre wouldnt allow it."
The Linux penguin shakes its head and says "I love the open, and Im flexible enough to land from here without crashing", and jumps out...
...but despite the exceptionally light weight of the penguin, it's community made Wings arent actually robust enough to fly in a real environment. It crashes to the ground, and looks up at the plane overhead, thinking "after all these years of waiting for my ticket, Ive gotten absolutely nowhere once again".
Windows luser and Fanboi mop up the gravy on the inflight meal, chuckling, as the plane flies off into the distance... but what neither of them have realised, is that the pilot isnt a human at all...
...the one in the driving seat is an Android.
...i have a feeling it won't end well... its on the tip of my tongue... somethin 2 do with my message pad and a dude called isaac... in any case, that flag of yours would make a good parachute... and YOU've got wings for job's sake! AND... this is all new to me... surely you 2 must b used 2 crashing by now...?
<shove...>
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The Penguin looks up from his bottle of vodka and says 'apt-get moo'... http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/pint_32.png
The Apple user just clicks 'Time Machine' and goes back to a state before they took off..... http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/happy_32.png
...The windows user, feeling rather confused about the blue outside the Open Windows, takes a Dump...... http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/alert_32.png
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because...
I don't have a parachute. iChute was not approved because it was created using a third party interface as c# strings where not strong enough. Anyway there are always far more apps on Windows the luser must have something he can use.
The luser says I can't jump because although there are a lot of app, iChute was not released so we have nothing to copy. I will be able to jump in another 5 years when Windows 8 has it built right into the OS but I prefer to wait another year or so until SP2 comes out.
The penguin sees that a parachute is required but that current a parachute does not exist. Using freely available tools he creates his own. He (or she) then offers them free to everyone else. The pilot takes one as he can recognise a good thing when he sees it. after all if the plane was OK a few minutes ago but now will not support all of them there is a good chance it's not going to make it.
The fanboi doesn't like the look of t as it is not officially endorsed and is sure that his Steviness will not let him down.
The luser doesn't take one as he is sure that if he doesn't have to pay for it, it must be a trick. After all they are going to die here who in their right mind would not extort him for all he was worth.
The Penguin and the Pilot jump and although the parachute is a bit crap at first, by the time they reach the ground many modifications have been added by many other Penguins and their lives are saved (as are the lives of other Pilots and Penguins in later Planes-too-heavy jokes).
The fanboi and the luser plummet to their deaths with their eyes closed and their fingers in their ears shouting 'Ha ha, stupid Penguin trusts his life to home made crap. Our superiors told us everything will be OK if just do as we are told, they will never lets us down.'
The pilot comes into the passengers cabin with a parachut on his back and tells the pengiun, the fanboi and the luser the following "The planes about to crash. Unluckily there are only 2 parachutes left. You have to decide who gets them" and jumps out of the plane.
The pengiun, the fanboi and the luser look at each other shocked.
Before the others can say or do anything the fanboi says "I´m too inteligent, sexy and rich to die. I need to live to spread my genes!" grabs a parachute and jumps.
The pengiun looks at the luser and says "Well, i have allways been good. If there is anything like an afterlife it will probably be plesant. You take the chute."
The luser looks at the penguin and says "No need to choose. The inteligent, sexy and rich guy just jumped with my fancy looking rucksack."
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows user in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because... a fanboi may not install or launch himself by any means, including without limitation through the use of a plug-in architecture, calling other frameworks, other APIs or otherwise.
So Stevie-Poo, Tuxie-Boo and Ole Ballsmer aren't even ON the plane yet. They approach the Security Screening Image Scanner as a group.
So which of the three is imaged in "Test-Mode" and their Anatomical Details sold for Easy Cash over the IntarTubes by the TSA perv-on-duty, and why? ;)
"There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because..."
....the other two, having been stuck in a room for a while with the fanboi, have already jumped.
... it looks like the parachute will fit the penguin also and I will only wear a personally tailored one! I know it sounds silly, but if I wear it I might not land safely. It's ok though, I'm happy to go without a parachute in the mean time. But next time the plane is about to crash, I should have my parachute made just to my specifications and I'll be able to save the day then. But in the mean time, let's all pretend that no one acutally wants the parachute and this whole problem will go away.
I can jump but it'd be pointless as i'll just keep going and going.. I never crash... NEVER.. NEVER!
*jumps*
Weee.. lalalaaaa...
Hmm, the ground is getting close..
*KERNAL PANIC*
The Windows User: "Theres a quick work around for that and a patch will come on Tuesday"
The Penguin: "Choose another distro if this one isn't right for you"
"Look", says Windows, "there's a shiny new iThingy in that field".
The fanboi is gone.
"Look", says Windows, "that shiny new iThingy with a fanboi splattered next to it can apparently be hacked to get telnetd running and then, if you can find the sources, create a build system, do six impossible things before breakfast, it can be re-flashed to run Ubuntu Netbook Edition".
The open source fanboi is gone.
"and it can run Chrome", says Windows.
A third, previously unseen, fanboi dashes from the toilet and dives from the plane.
"Look!", shouts Windows, "clouds!"
A dozen stowaway fanbois exit.
As the plane returns to horizontal flight the pilot announces, "business as usual".
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows User in a plane, and the pilot says, "we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go!"
Apple Fanboi - "being an Apple Fanboi, I am educational sub normal (retarded), so I am incapable of legally making a decision for myself! So Windows User you have to go!"
Pilot - "Steve Jobs just called me and asked you to JUMP fanboi!"
Faboi -"Sorry, did you say Steve Jobs said I should jump?"
Pilot - "Yes!, you will also get 72 Virgin Ipads to sleep with in Fanboi Heaven!"
Faboi - "Ok, Geronimo!"
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because...
...my god is still alive and wont be waiting for me when I die. Several seconds pass before the penguin and windows user throw him out of the plane. The windows user says to the pilot "We've thrown out the fanboi, will that save enough weight to save us?" - "Oh I think we're going to be juuuust fine." said the pilot, Captain Adobe.
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because...
Jumping is not a feature that I see as appealing to the mass market. Sure, walking is useful, everyone does the Walk. The Running is useful also, there are times when we need to run, so I have Running fully implemented. Jumping is only used by about 1 out of 100 people on a daily basis, so I don't do that.
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows user in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because I tried downloading the iRelease app for my iParachute using the plane's on board WiFi and my 3GS(ear) burned my hands. The penguin says "well I can't jump because I haven't finished recompiling my kernel for the 1,265th time". The Windows user realises he can use pretty much anything he can get his hands on, grabs the nearest parachute and leaps out the door...
"Do you wish to scan and fix PARACHUTE?
=> Scan and fix (recommended)
=> Continue without scanning"
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows user in a plane, and the pilot says, "we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go", and the fanboi says, "well, I can't jump because it's against the terms of the Apple Developer License Agreement... Anyway, its that fucking Windows user that has all the bloatware - get him to jump!"
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows user in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go..
The Linux penguin says "I can't go - Ubuntu is just about ready for the mainstream. I have to be around to see the desktop revolution!"
The Apple fanboi says "I can't go - the iPad is a genre-changing leap forward in tactile computing. A bidirectional sense-interface can only be around the corner!"
The Windows user shuffles his feet and says "Those things are all pretty cool. I don't know that I can compete with those right now. But I can't jump either!"
"Why not?" ask the penguin and the fanboi.
"I don't know how, unless you guys show me the way..."
Post script: The pilot, listening in over the intercom listens to each story of hope and aspiration and feels pity for the three. He thinks of his own life - successful, fruitful, and all goals complete. He thinks of his kids, now full grown and out on their own. He thinks of his wife, independent and successful in her own right. He thinks of his career, once brilliant but now in its autumn ebb. He thinks of all these things, and then of the three hopefuls. He is suddenly steeled by resolve. He unbuckles his seatbelt and pulls himself out of his seat. He strides to the nearby external door and, with a great effort, flings it open. The wind and cold batters him as he struggles into the doorway. With one last glance astern, he flings himself into the gale...
...taking the only parachute on the plane.
"Ive worked too damned hard to let my wife and kids live in a world run by those sad freaks!" he thinks as he floats gently down to earth...
If the pilot were a real hero, he'd let the plane crash and extinguish 3 OS bigots in one go.
(says the chap who runs OSX on netbook & imac, android on iPhone & hero, IOS on GNS3 & routers and has IOS, OSX, XP, Solaris and occasional Linux all running at home. I've bought 2 versions of BeOS and liked OS2. You can't accuse me of bias.)
... and is cut off brusquely by the Windows user, who says: Nobody is going to jump unless I say so. This whole carrying excess weight thing was MY IDEA and I happen to think it's a damn good one. Besides, the vast majority of planes around the world are carrying excess weight so it MUST be a good idea.
There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows user in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because...
... I send other UNIX boxes to /dev/null **push**
** That's an old Mac OS X PowerBook ad slogan in case you were underground in the early noughties!
"There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows user in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because..."
because I'm a Linux/Winblows fanboi - there are only two of us here now, does that solve the problem?
... then yes, you are emotionally tied enough to a benign topic that you qualify as a fanboi. Those less insane about their jobs and the tools they use to do them, simply ignore those who spend more time complaining about not being able to get the same work done. Whatever OS or hardware you pick, in the end it just has to keep YOU as productive as needed.
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