Put the toilet seat down after being sprayed?
German boffins say they have developed a miracle nasal spray which can make men into big girls' blouses. Dr René Hurlemann of Bonn Uni's Klinik für Psychiatrie, working with colleagues in Germany, Arizona and Blighty, has just announced successful tests of the new girlification spray - whose active ingredient is the hormone …
German men are pussy whipped - they are not allowed to have the toilet seat up and stand whilst peeing - they are supposed to sit. Hence signs like this:
I kid you not. I found a sign like this over the toilet in the house I bought in Germany.
"The boffins consider that their oxytocin spray might be handy as "medication for diseases such as schizophrenia, which are frequently associated with reduced social approachability and social withdrawal"."
So, in short, finally a way to treat what ails most El Reg regulars...
Pint, because that's the ENGLISH way to treat social withdrawal...and it's Friday!
I bet the testees (*snigger*) suffered from some pretty strong side-effects that have been hushed up.
Completely mis-interpreting an innnocent remark and having a hissy fit for the rest of the day
Constantly asking whether the lab coat made them look fat
Mysterisouly all needing the toilet at the same time
Paris because she also likes putting stuff up her nose. Allegedly.
Did the subjects also start to crave chocolate, soap operas, Josh Gronin, Jeremy Kyle, shoes, handbags and Hello magazine, while talking endlessly about absolutely nothing in their 3rd bubble bath of the day before taking 6 hours to get dressed and totally losing their ability to drive a motor vehicle?
Introducing a large dose of a particular hormone into a relatively balanced system will create a severe hormonal imbalance, resulting in a subsequent inability to mediate emotional responses. They're screwing with these guys brain chemistry and creating an emotional imbalance.
Showing more emotion doesn't equate to increased empathy any more than lacking visible emotion equates to less empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and identify with others and most people (yes, this includes both sexes) are more than capable of demonstrating high empathy without showing highly visible emotions. The fact that women tend to show more visible emotion when they're empathising is just a quirk of nature. Each behaviour is desirable within its own setting, but the idea that you can turn men into more empathetic creatures by disturbing the chemical balance of their brain strikes me as a little disturbing as it assumes the female way of showing emotion is the better way in all situations. It isn't.
but this is old news. Oxytocin is also known as "the trust drug." People (men AND women) when subjected to it tend to trust and love everybody. (I know, some imbibers react like this, but others get nasty, morose or just fall asleep.) This would be dangerous stuff for someone with bad intent to have!
......even in jest.
There's a Sanrio store in Milan. It's like a sort of insane version of John Lewis, with every single sodding item in there pink and Hello Kitty branded. Since they had a 50cc scooter, a washing machine, a suite of bedroom furniture and a 50" LCD telly in the window, I wouldn't mind taking a punt that there was an airconditioning unit squirrelled away in there somewhere.
To put some tech back into this... if we used this on ladies, do you think they would somehow experience an emotional signed integer overflow and switch over to being able to read maps* and play computer games?
(Yes, I'm jumping on the stereotype bandwagon while the going is still good)
Why waterboard? Give your "Guest" a shot of this and then threaten to put a sack of kittens in the drink if they don't tell us everything we want to know.
Other bonuses, leaves no marks, and if the video gets out, it will create a whole new meme on YouTube - blubbing terrorists
There are two species of voles: one that is polygamous (like most male mammals), the other is monogamous (!). The difference is that the latter has higher levels of oxytocin. Injecting the polygamous ones with oxytocin makes them monogamous.
Will human males, who are naturally inclined to be polygamous, react the same way? Is this the actual intended use of the nasal spray?
men will be "On the Drip"? "On the Spray"? "On the Darkside"?
Don't suppose this becomes the foundation for OTR-based data centers, where the apps are able to freely move between infrastructure components based on how they feel? Maybe this is the next evolution of SOA? We'd have to call it Feeling-OTR-Oriented-Base-Architecture-Reporting (FOOBAR).
Oxytocin spray has been on the market for longer than I've been working at the manufacturer, over 30 years, and all the information in the article is well-summarised in wikipedia. What has grown over that time is a general interest on how medicines affect personality. It is rather nice to discuss one that doesn't push you towards depression or suicide.
In another relevant side-effect, it also causes erections in men.
It is available on prescription only. I can imagine that persuading a psychiatrist to prescribe it because you are a cold-hearted, unloving so-and-so will be a hard sell.
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