back to article Megan Fox not world's sexiest woman: Official

It's official: Megan Fox is merely the second most sexy woman in the world, according to FHM's annual analysis of just who its readers consider the pick of international females. For the second year running, the Transformers "actress" must bow to Girls Aloud warbler Cheryl Cole, as must Victoria's Secret model Marisa Miller, …

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  1. M Gale
    Paris Hilton

    Paris

    Well, where is she?

    1. M Gale
      Badgers

      Oh come on

      Two downvotes? What makes my Paris jokes different from everyone else's?

      Bunch of humourless bastards. Bet you're just envious I was first. Grumblegrumble...

      1. Captain Save-a-ho

        Right our wrong

        You're right...we're completely jealous.

        You also happened to miss a down vote, so I helped you.

  2. Jelliphiish
    Paris Hilton

    butt

    you're asking fhm readers.. why does that qualify as a sufficient poll?

    I'm surprised some of them have sufficient manual dexterity to turn the pages for the perrdy picchewers..

    paris, she'd win a similar poll of reg readers hands..erm.. down..

    1. Ray0x6

      hands... erm... down...

      pants?

  3. screaminfakah
    WTF?

    BS

    Megan Fox is way better looking but I bet ya there is a bunch of people who hate them both! Ex-boyfriends/girlfriends maybe?

  4. cjmUK
    Paris Hilton

    IT Angle?

    I'm not really bothered, mind. Better than looking at pictures of Steve Ballmer...

    Paris - Because she's the number 1 skank for El Reg...

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Whoever said she was?

    When has dumb & talentless ever been sexy?

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Coat

      Re: Whoever said she was?

      Which one are you talking about?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      Gah, I just can't think when! ??

      Paris, because she'll do anything for a friend...

      1. Captain Save-a-ho
        Grenade

        Does it matter

        Type your comment here -- plain text only, no HTML.

    3. Brutus
      Paris Hilton

      Err

      When dumb & talentless is combined with hot and loose!

  6. madmattttt
    Happy

    Whats the difference...

    Whats the difference between the volcano in Iceland and Cheryl Cole?

    The volcano is still blowing ash

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I never thought Megan Fox was #1

    I wouldn't kick her out but I never thought Megan was #1 but Cole definitely is not in the top 100 for me.

    1. Alan W. Rateliff, II
      Paris Hilton

      US: Alyassa Milano, UK: Billie Piper

      Ugh, I gotta go along with the AC on this one. I would not throw out Megan Fox, mostly because she reminds me of Tea Leoni circa "Bad Boys." I did not know who Cheryl Cole was until this article, and I am still a bit meh on the issue.

      Now, throw me an Alyssa Milano or a Billie Piper, and I am all there. (Of course, I suspect my friends from the other side of The Pond will probably help me out if my BP fascination is unhealthy.)

      Paris, meh.

  8. Klaus
    WTF?

    Kristen Stewart???

    Sorry, but this entire poll must be called into question if Kristen Stewart was anywhere in the running.

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Kristen Stewart???

      Kristen Stewart was bound to be in there because all the Twilight fans co-ordinate to vote for her. That's how she got that best newcomer BAFTA too. She has the grace to be a bit embarrassed about it. I feel a bit bad for her.

      Anyway, she is kind of sexy in a stroppy smudge-eyed teenage sort of way. She always looks like she's just fallen out of a shooting gallery.

      1. Marcus Aurelius
        Alien

        You mean

        There are male Twilight fans?

        1. El
          Coat

          Twilight

          Male Twilight fans, yes. Straight male Twilight fans, no.

      2. Kevin Reader
        Paris Hilton

        Is this some sort of jargon...

        If the esteemed Moderatrix will excuse my (cough) innocence is: "She always looks like she's just fallen out of a shooting gallery." some sort of exotic, erotic or feminine jargon that I've missed out on. The mind boggles...

        I thought this poster summed up the whole twilight situation in a different light: http://verydemotivational.com/2010/04/16/demotivational-posters-twilight-2/

        As to Ms Cole nee Tweedy I've often thought that she manages to be very pretty in a very not-sexy way. Its more like looking at a very attractive relative, than someone oozing sexuality, or even showing it. (Oh dear did I write that out loud). Rather like Rachel Stevens has always been and who's also in the 100.

        Ms Hilton for several very obvious reasons.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          re: Is this some sort of jargon...

          Shooting gallery = place to shoot up ie. needles/drugs.

      3. I didn't do IT.
        Happy

        Ah, Bless, Sarah

        Truly you will always be #1 in our... um... hearts.

      4. Richard 120

        Why were you not on the list then?

        I watched that Twilight film, I don't really get it.

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Hehe...

        ...Sarah Bee thinks Kristen Stewart is sexy.

        On an unrelated note, don't know if you've tried searching for "Sarah Bee" in Google image search, but is that second pic actually of _your_ tattoos?

        1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

          Re: Hehe...

          Haha. No, those are not my rather lame emo wrist tattoos.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      Kristen Stewart????

      Cheryl "Anorexic Skank" Cole won the poll and you think it's the presence of Kirsten Stewart that calls it into question?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    @ AC

    When has dumb & talentless ever been sexy

    Errrr Since Adam met Eve?

  10. James 6

    Do they pay people to vote for them?

    "Twilight star Kristen Stewart"

    Since when does looking like a ghost (even when not starring in spooky movies) count as sexy? If I saw her walking down the street she wouldn't even register as pretty in my head, never mind sexy.

    Exhibit A - http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2427557632/nm0829576

    6th Sexist celebrity? Really!?

  11. ThaRobster
    Thumb Down

    So...

    What, were they polling the people in Ann Summers buying ball-gags?

    Seriously, she's ok, right up to the point where she starts talking.

    1. John G Imrie

      Taste?

      What, were they polling the people in Ann Summers buying ball-gags?

      No they have taste. Mainly the taste of rubber I'll grant you, but it's still taste.

  12. The_Police!
    Welcome

    I for one

    welcome Megan Fox as my overlord!

  13. Andrew Bush

    Cole is okay, but...

    ...I can't understand a word she says.

    Even the L'Oreal shampoo advert rapidly voiced over most of her 'vocal talent' in their advert with a more easy to understand bloke. Perhaps subtitles would have been an option?

    I think I prefer Megan Fox too. Plus, if my car ever breaks down she can fix it for me.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cheryl Cole?

    Cheryl Cole? As in the foul-mouthed racist Cheryl Cole?

    Hooray! What excellent taste folk have.

  15. solarian
    Stop

    WTF?

    The FHM staff have clearly gone blind, for some reason.

  16. Dr Insanity
    Coat

    IT Angle?

    because 2nd or otherwise, I'd still put IT in at any angle

  17. Arkasha
    Thumb Up

    Well Cheryl did say

    that she likes chubby blokes so that gets my vote!

    1. Captain Save-a-ho
      Coat

      There, I fixed it.

      "Well Cheryl did say that she likes bloke chubbies so that gets my vote!"

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    May I suggest a better metric.

    How about that none of these femmes are "sexy" until we've seen them *completely* naked?

    I nominate Paris.

  19. richard 69
    Go

    for dinner i would like...

    a keeley and kelly sandwich...

    that is all.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    My vote...

    ...goes to Charlize Theron. Class.

  21. Dante

    Post your own message

    I hope Sarah Teather is in this list.

  22. Richard Scratcher
    Jobs Halo

    She could never be number 1, not with that ghastly font.

    Now if she'd had her tasteful tattoos done in Lucida Grande or maybe even Zapfino, then she'd be poetry in motion.

  23. Annihilator Silver badge
    WTF?

    I bet..

    That Megan Fox will be crying herself to sleep tonight at the loss, and lovely Cheryl Cole will be celebrating but will still be crying after all the emotion of the X-Factor finals.

    Meanwhile, back on planet earth where there's a spewing oil well, an economic meltdown in Greece and an election..

  24. Ad Fundum
    Joke

    The Olsen twins, Hermione Granger and an odd question ...

    I stopped reading FHM when the Olsen twins and that Hermione bod from Harry Potter started appearing in the charts.

    And here's my question: how exactly is dust 'sexy', as in "coughing in her sexy dust"? Are the readers confused as to whether they were voting for world's sexiest woman or world's sexiest dust? Or is it just the talentless hacks churning out cliche after cliche at FHM?

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    look deeper, america...

    looks like no one in the US is aware of her whole "smacking the toilet attendant lady and making racist jibes" incident.....

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/3207822.stm

    she is hot though.

    1. Oz
      Joke

      Re: Look deeper, America

      Aye, she is hot, and she is a bit feisty. I fancy that! ;-)

      1. Paul 4

        What has America got to do with it?

        I don't get it.

  26. El
    Paris Hilton

    In the world?

    Cheryl who? Serious, has anybody outside of the UK even heard of Girls Aloud? I suspect their sample space is a bit skewed.

  27. TBx

    Tech News?

    Am I missing the part of this story that is Technology related? There have been some items on here that end with some explanation of the tenuous Tech link. No attempt made in this story.

    1. Colin Guthrie
      Joke

      You must be....

      You must be new here.

    2. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Tech link is Megan Fox

      'cause she looks like she can open tin cans with her nose.

  28. M Gale

    I just realised..

    ..I've never seen a picture of the sharp-tongued moderatrix. Surely she must be in the top ten.

    Okay, okay, top 5. Just don't zap me.

    1. mccp
      Thumb Up

      Here is our delightful mederatrix in her boudoir...

      http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/16/moderatrix_boudoir/

    2. Annihilator Silver badge
      Go

      re: I just realised

      You've never looked hard enough...

      http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/04/18/el_reg_birthday/

      Whether this makes it onto the boards, who knows...

  29. Steve 114
    Thumb Down

    Tat's

    - are a turnoff. And think what they'll be like when you're 70, girls.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down

      My sentiments exactly Steve

      The female body is a work of art, and putting a tattoo on it is like spray painting a moustache on the Mona Lisa.

    2. Hollerith 1

      Memories...

      At 70, the girls will have a memento to the times when they were hot stuff.

      Better to look at the tats and have fond memories than look at the wrinkly old guy they married...

  30. Dodo

    WTF

    Kirsten Stewart > Adriana Lima?????? WTF!

  31. jake Silver badge

    Never hear of any of 'em, except one, kinda ...

    The only name in that list that even vaguely rings a bell is Jessica Alba, and I couldn't tell you for the life of me what she's supposedly famous for. I can't be arsed to look, but I'll bet a plugged nickle she's the oldest of the bunch and has entered my lizard hind brain thru' staying power alone ... Maybe they should fire their publicists?

    Or maybe I'm the wrong demographic ... 50ish, married, have a life of my own, etc.

  32. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Rumcajz
      Big Brother

      El Reg top ten

      My vote goes to Ms. Bee...

  33. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    They must be blind

    I just had a look at the top ten. Who on earth thinks Cheryl Cole is sexy?????? She is right ugly. Victoria Coren is probably the best, closely followed by Rachel Riley (Countdown). Even Natalie Cassidy is a sex goddess compared to Cheryl Cole. What about the bird from Bang Goes the Theory? She is lovely. There are more that are not in the top 50 that are more beautiful than Cheryl Cole. I have seen women in the street that are more beautiful than Cheryl Cole.

    1. Eddie Edwards
      Thumb Up

      Thumbs up

      Indeed, Rachel Riley is hotness incarnate. It's a shame really because I never look at the letters now until the clock has already started, so it's really affected my game.

      And let us not forget Amy Pond, I mean, er, <googles> Karen Gillan.

      Mind you, favouring a Countdown girl and a Dr Who assistant *might* just mark me out as a nerd.

  34. Craig 28

    Re:gone blind

    I'm (genuinely) blind, using computer through synthetic speech output, and I wouldn't touch Cole with a barge pole. I heard her voice along with the rest of Girls Aloud on one of Chris Moyles' shows and none of their speaking voices appeal to me in the least. I'm not gay but from voices I'd sooner snog Allid or Scott Mills than any of that bunch.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Wot no pics?

    do we have to go look for them ourselves?

  36. Tiff69
    Thumb Up

    Megan and...

    What's the latest between Megan and Neil Fifer? They should go public!

  37. Rattus Rattus

    They're all...

    ...too skinny, too annoying, too tanned and most of 'em are too blonde. Why was Christina Hendricks not in this list?

  38. Martin Howe
    FAIL

    Shark Jumping at it's Finest

    I stopped taking the FHM 100 seriously when SMG was elected back in the early 2000s. Buffy girl? Black leather corset? Trying to be "sexy"? ROTFLMAO!!! Pretty, maybe, but world #1? NO WAY!

    Anyway Cheryl Cole is a convicted thug and for me average looking at best. If we're talking girl bands - Sarah Harding (yummy for a blonde) or Frankie Sandford. Page 3 girls - Peta Todd or Vikki Blows. Actors - Caroline Catz or Clare Holman. Even Megan Fox if I really must. But Cheryl need not apply.

    1. El Richard Thomas
      WTF?

      Stop the press!

      There's actually a Page 3 Stunna(TM) called Vikki Blows? I know the Sun has never been subtle, but FFS that is ridiculous!

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    I'm not a High Court Judge...

    ...but I still have absolutely no idea who these people are.

    @AC: Victoria Coren may be acceptably lacking in overt ugliness but the first-hand stories I have of her behaviour while a coked-up champagne-swilling Student Oafette would make your hair stand on end. Unfortunately I cannot afford the legal fees to repeat them in public.

  40. David Adams
    Coffee/keyboard

    So where's...

    ... Karen Gillan?

    Already replaced Billie Piper in my dreams.

  41. Nigel Brown
    Unhappy

    If they had an award for least sexy voice.....

    Then surely it would go to Jennifer Ellison. She has the face and body of an angel but as soon as the vocal chords kick in its like fingernails on a blackboard. To be fair to her though, the same can be said of any 'Liver Bird'.

    (For the Merkins thats pronounced Lye-ver and not Liv-er.)

    1. Witty username
      Thumb Down

      eh?

      Lyverpool? am i missing something? AFAIK its Liverpool. or "Liverpewl" as they prounounce it.

  42. alyn
    Heart

    Anna Friel

    Anna Friel does it for me (in my dreams at least).

  43. DT1984
    Thumb Down

    Paris Hilton????

    Paris Hilton - is that some sort of joke. Never even heard of her, and after a quick bing, wish i still hadn't... a complete swamp donkey!!! Wouldn't do 'er with a borrowed 'un...

    Cheryl Cole is pretty tasty though, but i don't know about her beating Megan Fox and Kelly Brook...

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Paris Hilton????

      You hadn't heard of Paris Hilton, you use 'bing' as a verb, and you use Bing. I don't think you've really earned the right to call anyone a 'swamp donkey', frankly.

      1. David Adams
        Troll

        bing?

        I think it's a metaphor.

  44. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  45. The Original Ash
    Heart

    Hottest newcomer should have been...

    Christina Hendricks (Joan from Mad Men).

    She's a good 15 years my senior, but oh sweet baby jeebus...

  46. John Goodwin 4
    Coat

    Cheryl Tweedy

    I'd drink her bath water.

    I'll get me coat, pet.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      The one from Chicken Run?

      I always think of Chicken Run anytime I hear the name Cheryl Tweedy.

  47. DT1984
    FAIL

    Judging people by what search engine they use...

    ... then your are, frankly, an idiot.

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