back to article Jesus descends to Google Earth

Long-term readers will be aware that the Son of God chooses some pretty offbeat places to manifest his supreme being, including Peruvian sand dunes, Ugandan mobile phone masts, Mount Sinai and Romanian wardrobe doors. Well, it appears he's not about to change his simulacrumtastic ways, and here's the latest spot from …


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  1. BongoJoe

    To be Frank

    that looks more like the late great Mr. Zappa to me.

    Besides, given that no contemporary pictures were made of Jesus then no-one really knows what he looks like. So, he may be walking around us for decades now and on his fifth or sixth Coming and still no-one takes a blind bit of difference.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Given the level of evidence believers require, I daresay this will reinforce their exisiting belief in fairytales-for-adults.

    I might go for a shit that looks like Mary now.

  3. Neil 13

    Not Jesus

    ...just a long haired Adolf Hitler.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      my thoughts exactly

      Complete with mullet (fittingly, pretty Germanic after all). Do you think Nick Griffin will grow one if he sees this pic? Hope so, then he'll look even more ridiculous, the proto-fascist buffoon!

      Ein Volk! Ein Mullet!

  4. Richard IV

    While we're playing at apophenia

    The field to the right has an image of a chap in a soviet-esque winter coat and hat looking towards the more, erm miraculous image, while a large cross shimmers as if in heat haze even further to the right.

    How's Golden Palace going to transport this one once the inevitable eBay listing happens?

  5. zenith


    Hitler with long hair... Hippy Hitler. Hipler.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Or here:,21.113126&spn=0.010992,0.02738&z=16

    Hmm aligned Top to North also!

    1. Anonymous Coward


      I was hoping for such a link

  7. Ian Halstead
    Jobs Halo

    Did Leonardo da Vinci ever visit Hungary?

    Has elements of his style about it, and he was known for the odd practical joke. Where's Brian Sewell when you need him?

    Steve? When are we going to move on to likenesses of Steve Jobs I wonder?

  8. Code Monkey


    It's Frank Zappa - possibly off the cover of Apostrophe.

  9. Mark McNeill

    I can get you a toe, believe me.

    They may *look* like Jesus, but they usually turn out to be either Frank Zappa or The Dude. This one's Zappa, you can tell by the nose.

  10. neil 15

    Sure it's Jesus?

    Looks more like the return of our lord, Frank Zappa.

  11. Stumpy Pepys

    Isn't that?

    A mid-70s manifestation of Freddie Mercury.

  12. AndrueC Silver badge
    Thumb Down


    ..He seems to be wearing sunglasses. I don't remember them being mentioned in the Bible :)

    1. ravenviz Silver badge

      Re: Imposter

      Sunglasses were mostly not mentioned because they weren't relevant. But in Jeremiah 4:30, "Why shade your eyes with paint?", 'paint' being a mis-translation of the Hebrew word for 'Ray Ban Aviator'.

      Mine's the one with the Sunglass Hut brochure in the pocket.

    2. TeeCee Gold badge

      Re: Imposter.

      Well, quite obviously Jesus only wore his sunglasses when he wanted to go out without being recognised.........

  13. TeeCee Gold badge

    You see Jesus.

    I see the new front lawn outside the office.

    Is it on eBay yet?

  14. Anonymous Coward

    What are all those white stains on his chin and clothes?

    Is this the second coming of the lord?

  15. Peter Hewitt
    Thumb Up


    I presume our friends from the online casino are already snapping up the farmer's field?

  16. Anonymous Coward

    It must be him

    He's made the river next to him (zoom out and look to the right/east) completely disappear. You can see where the river used to be, but's GONE.

  17. Just Thinking

    Why Jesus?

    The human brain tends to see a face in anything that looks remotely face like. Why does it always have to be Jesus?

    This one is clearly singing into a microphone, must surely be Elvis?

  18. subterfuge

    Jesus revealed himself to me in a paving stone last night.

  19. David Adams

    All I can say is....

    ... if that's Jesus, he's got a cracking pair of top bollocks on him!

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Looks more like variations in surface drainage due to differences in soil composition to me.

    But yeah, they are probably right, it probably is the Son of God manifesting himself on Earth for the second coming.

  21. GrumpyJoe


  22. Martin Gregorie

    Looks more like an insider photoshop job to me

    In fact it looks very much like a photo of Frank Zappa, complete with 'tash and imperial.

  23. James Hughes 1


    "New Words" magazine's best new word of the year 2010.

  24. teahot
    Jobs Halo

    Oh, Jesus Christ

    Could Lester Haines also post an actual photo of Jesus so we can compare the two? Just to add some small measure of journalistic veracity to the article...

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    People will believe owt!

    Sell them an iPad, quick!

  26. Gav

    He's not Banksie, he's the very son of God.

    Don't you just wish sometimes that Jesus would stop messing about with all this tagging of random earthly objects and do something useful? Omnipotent and this is how he wastes his time?

    1. ravenviz Silver badge


      Oh ye of little fail

  27. Simon B

    I saw Darth Vader not Jesus!

    Did anyone else see Darth Vader?!!

    1. TeeCee Gold badge

      @Simon B

      Take the Star Wars DVD out of your PC's drive and try again.

  28. Max_Normal

    Blessed are the bignoses.

    And Zombie Bikers.

  29. Eddy Ito

    Oh, I can't wait

    Soon the memristor cat brain computer will be able to scan for GoGEarth (God on Google Earth) faces faster than any bored to tears human being ever could.

    Then again, cats are probably atheist, we might need a dog brain computer, a shepherd perhaps.

  30. Nux Vomica

    Bloody sacrilege!

    It's clearly Phil Lynott

    Whaddyamean "Who's Phil Lynott"?

  31. Mike Moyle

    I dunno...

    Looks more Nicolas Caage, to me...

  32. Oninoshiko

    boxing jesus.

    im just trying to figure out why jesus is boxing....

    (I cant be the only one seeing he hands up there ready to strike... although he needs to hold 'em a bit higher)

    maybe i need new glasses.

  33. Nebulo

    Our Father,

    Which art in Püspökladány ...

  34. Anonymous Coward

    All I can say is...

    ...Jesus seems to have a nice pair of tits...

  35. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    Jesus, maybe ...

    But what's with that face in profile just to the left?

  36. Winkypop Silver badge

    Jesus needs better a PR agent

    I mean, appearing in fields and on pieces of burnt toast?

    With his contacts, he should be able to at least get a front-page cover on Time magazine...or Hello!

  37. The_Police!

    Just me

    I think I was the only one who imagined a iPhone coming down from the heavens on a beam of sunlight.

  38. Morpho Devilpepper

    Look closer

    That is NOT's Jim Morrison.

  39. Ed Gould
    IT Angle

    Looks Like Jesus?

    OK who let the crop circle people loose?

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