Wii Fit fall woman turns into nympho

A Manchester woman who took a tumble from her Wii Fit board is suffering an earth-moving side effect of the Nintendo-related mishap: she's now a nymphomaniac. "Randy" Amanda Flowers, 24, was diagnosed with "persistent sexual arousal syndrome due to a damaged nerve", the Daily Star explains. She's susceptible to the "slightest …

[Anonymous Coward]

Wait a minute...

..did I stumble on The Sun's or Daily Sport's websites by mistake?

[Anonymous Coward]

IT relation

Not IT angle, mind you - but an IT angel, a mythical creature from the heavens, in this day and age brought to you in the safety and convenience of your own dorm by the interwebs. An IT angel is the closest to a partner most of us will ever get, so if IT is in the genes we will be the last generation, etc.

[RichardB]

For want of stating the obvious

It didn't happen if you don't have the photos.

Lego will do at a pinch... :)

[John Hicks]

Picture?

Not anywhere can I find a picture - we need to know whether we should "audition" for the role of superstud!

Come on El Reg - hook us up with a picture and a email address / phone number!

[pctechxp]

Lester you have surpassed yourself

You've really got to be making this up, if I didn't know better I'd think it was April 1st.

[Anonymous Coward]

Queue from this end.

Please form an orderly queue... no picture though so could be a right troll.

Paris because she loves it 10 times a day as well.

[ShaggyDoggy]

Superstud

Mine's the one with the train ticker to M/cr in the pocket

[Chris Harries]

Single IS the answer

Being single seams like the better option then relationship...that or an "open relationship"/husband who likes group sex

[Damir Colak]

Come on!

Are... you... serious?!

[Anonymous Coward]

You're kidding me

This is April 1st - right? Right ! ?

[Steve Evans]

Picture?

Even the daily star website doesn't have one, just a picture of a wii...

You just know she'll be a complete shocker don't you... Nymphos are never how you want them to be, or twins.

[Anonymous Coward]

'bout time I made a sweeping (and sexist) generalisation

Single young lady who works in catering falls off Wii Fit...

Have to concur with Steve - probably a munter ...

So all-in-all, s'pect she's quite grateful for the whole nerve thing ...

Ok, unleash the PC backlash ...

[Sarah Bee]

Re: 'bout time I made a sweeping (and sexist) generalisation

Right. I bet you've got a face like a squashed skunk, you tosser.

[Anonymous Coward]

I would say "touched a nerve?" but ...

... that might be misconstrued.

Face like a squashed skunk? yes and hung like one too. Masturbation? not so much. Don't see how that changes anything but feel free to get all aggrieved/despairing/judgemental.

[Alien Doctor 1.1]

The Mask

It's amazing what you can get away with behind a metal studded leather-mask.

Paris, why not, I haven't used her for a while.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re:Re: 'bout time I made a sweeping (and sexist) generalisation

haha nice one

[Rob]

Replacement...

.... Screen, keyboard and can I have a fresh coffee as well please :)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: 'bout time I made a sweeping (and sexist) generalisation

Whenever i hear that word 'munter' i just think: that person's not got any choice about how god made her (or him - although blokes don't have the same pressure to be pretty). You on the other hand, have the choice to not be a complete fucking compassionless shitstain on the fabric of society. Men like you want their teeth smashing in and no mistake.

[Richard Jukes]

Title?

I'd like to get my post in early and say that if Miss Flowers needs a hand, or two - then she only has to contact me. And the rest of the salivating tech nerds on this very forum.

[Alien Doctor 1.1]

Come on guys...

get out of your basements and find a decent place to work; the coding shop in which I work has more than a 50% female crew.

Some are beautiful, others make up for lack of "looks" with personalities that I would die for; O.K. most are attached, but there are geekesses out there that would probably not say 'no' if asked out. Bite the bullet (or the mouse, whatever), take a chance and you might even be able to leave your parents house soon.

[Alien Doctor 1.1]

I forgot to mention

that most of them are better and more conscientious coders than anyone I've worked with since the late 80's.

[Anonymous Coward]

And...

most probably haver better personal hygiene too!

[Ben Rosenthal]

"better personal hygiene too!"

I'll have to stop you there as I actually have a more time consuming and expensive morning grooming regime than any female I have dated since I started a decade and a half ago

/moar shame

:D

[yakitoo]

She

should get a good price for it on EBay with that functionality.

[Anonymous Coward]

in case you think this sounds fun

..an ex of mine behaved somewhat like that (though fuelled mostly by coke and craziness). It's really exciting at first, but when you start noticing friction injuries on your bits from overuse, it starts to get a lot less entertaining.

Put me off the whole idea for a while, that.

[Anonymous Coward]

That's why

I had my bits coated in Teflon.

[oddie]

Sooo...

you basically get no friction what so ever?

I think I can see a major flaw in your plan ;)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: in case you think this sounds fun

Do you still have her number?

[David Adams]

Might be a troll?

Meh,

where do I join the queue?

[Tom 80]

Not uncommon

Apparently. My other half works in mental health and decreased sexual inhibition is a well known symptom of head injuries

[Anonymous Coward]

Not uncommon?

However, this very brief nth-hand report doesn't make it sound like a head injury or a case of decreased sexual inhibition (not that I really know what that is).

[BenDwire]

I know a cure

Just give her a wedding cake. That usually fixes it.

[scottboy]

Not fun

It must ruin lots of other Wii games too. No point in playing Super Mario Kart if you always know who's going to come first.

[Scott Mckenzie]

gLOL!

And to the Wedding Cake reference also...

[oddie]

well

done :)

[Test Man]

I'm available!

Ready and waiting here!

[Anonymous Coward]

I think we've all missed the real question.

Which nerve is it, where is it located and how would one go about damaging it in the same way in, say, my wife?

[Sarah Bee]

Re: I think we've all missed the real question.

Classy.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I think we've all missed the real question

ok its pretty crass, but come on who wouldn't want to know the answer to that.

[scottboy]

Re: I think we've all missed the real question

Just get a Wii Fit, 'accidentally' spill butter on the board and wait.

[Rumcajz]

Think it through...

You want your wife to want it 10 times a day? every day? And how many of those are you willing and able to provide? Did you read the above comment on over-used bits?? Fancy some calluses in unlikely places

I'd prefer a kind of on/off switch...

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I think we've all missed the real question.

I really should have used the Joke Alert icon, shouldn't I?

<-------- Okay, here it is.

Saying that, who didn't think "that'd be awesome" before thinking about the practicalities of it? Rumcajz clearly did- an off switch would make this a really good thing to be afflicted with!

[Slappy]

Any hope of

reproducing the accident?

Must get the missus a Wii!

[blackworx]

Sigh

One fluff piece like that out of the Star and half the male population turns into a bunch of giggling twelve year old boys.

I imagine something like that would become quite debilitating after a while.

Not that I wouldn't want to swap places with her for a few days though, you know, just out of scientific curiosity.

[Wize]

Could be

"I imagine something like that would become quite debilitating after a while."

Yep, she'd be walking like a cowboy...

[oddie]

People...

Never think these kinds of things through.. for instance, would you really want to have sex with men 10 times a day for a few days?

(I am of course making assumptions based on the general geekiness of the register reader base; straight, nerdy and with interesting social skills (that includes me too btw)).. you may of course be a gay adonis with an who just wishes he had a larger libido.. I which case I guess my point is a bit moot)

[blackworx]

@ oddie

Sadly I'm neither gay adonis nor moderatrix. Besides, I have no doubt sockpuppeting is probably beneath our beloved Ms Bee. At the very least there will be minions for that sort of thing.

Just out of interest - why would swapping places with her imply having sex with men 10 times a day? Why would it imply having sex with anyone? That's the kind of thinking I was referring to in my first post, and which leads to the Star printing priapic nonsense like "Hopefully one day I’ll find a superstud who can satisfy me" ;o)

[oddie]

Just realised..

you may of course also be one of the rare and beautiful beasts known as the Sysadminus Femininus.

I spotted one once, my god she was beatutiful :)

[Ted Treen]

@Oddie

That really should be "Sysadmina Femina". The "-us" ending in Latin denotes male gender. The "-a" denotes female.

Unless "Feminus" means "..comes from Bangkok & is a ladyboy"...

[Velv]

Reminds me of the story...

...of the woman who had an orgasm every time she sneezed.

When asked if she was taking anything for it, she replied "Pepper!"

[SynnerCal]

Interesting difference

Shows the difference between UK and USA - in the latter I'm sure Ms Flowers would be reaching for that attorney, whereas here in Blighty it's more likely a call to Max Clifford.

That said, checking the instructions for my Wii-Fit (too many sodas/beers/pizzas to work off) and it does quite clearly warn you about losing balance. Slippery rugs are definite no-no.

Stupid question - but if it's a knocked nerve isn't there something that the medics can do? Joking/sniggering apart - this is bound to be somewhat of a disability.

[Blake St. Claire]

USA bashing again.

You owe the US bashing kitty a £. From what I hear you're just as litigious over on your side of the pond as we are.

Wonder why nobody ever gets these injuries falling off their Step Aerobics boards? Or a brick?

I guess because the brick doesn't have deep pockets like Nintendo does.

[Anonymous Coward]

Fair and Balanced USA Bashing though

Having lived on both sides of the pond, I can definitely testify to the UK being much less litigious than the USA. There are a few reasons for that:

1) Punitive damages. Damages awards in the UK are a tiny fraction of what they are in the US. This makes it much harder for lawyers to get rich ambulance chasing and therefore reduces the number of lawyer induced ridiculous lawsuits.

2) No win no fee. This was only recently introduced in the UK, and is a key driver of crazy lawsuits. Interestingly, no win no fee has lots of limitations in the UK, and a frivolous law suit is much more likely to result in extensive costs for the complainant in the UK than the US.

Also another clear sign that litigation is much more likely in the US than the UK is the presence of adverts about companies converting structured settlements into cash now. These adverts don't exist at all in the UK, but are regularly on daytime TV in the US.

[Disintegrationnotallowed]

Kids, Weddings, etc

As mentioned best fixes are:

Wedding cakes

Kids

Not having a shave

Seriously my girlfriend is highly sexed, minimum is once a day, and twice is more normal, if i was at home I dont think she would ever stop!

Also I agree the friction burns, "paper" cuts, etc can be quite painful if you have had a busy weekend!

[Sarah Bee]

Re: Kids, Weddings, etc

Man has super-horny girlfriend, active sex life, doesn't want to talk about it on the internet.

[Alien Doctor 1.1]

Title goes here

He probably works for Apple

[Wize]

Paper cuts?

You are supposed to put the magazine down, or at least hold it in the other hand.

[Carlos TuTu III]

RE: Kids, Weddings, etc

@Disintegrationnotallowed

"if i was at home I dont think she would ever stop!"

If she's as highly sexed as you claim, there's a high probability that the sex doesn't stop just because you've gone out to work...

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Kids, Weddings, etc

stop bragging mate

[Oz]

Highly sexed

"Seriously my girlfriend is highly sexed, minimum is once a day, and twice is more normal, if i was at home I dont think she would ever stop!"

I take it you work 7 days a week, every week? Or too scared to go back for more?!?!!?

[Anonymous Coward]

When you're *not* home

ever wonder what she's up to? Perhaps she doesn't stop...

[Anonymous Coward]

Onion sues Register!

...or at least tries to hire the author away

[Rocket]

pass me a wii and stand back

what the title says

[A. Lewis]

Bah

Why do I never get a "thanks for the tip" like I see on other articles, when I send something in?

Maybe I'm just too slow and others beat me to it...

[leona 2]

No, just stop!

I'd say just don't bother, The Reg doesn't need this sort of tripe.

[OrsonX]

I'll be buying the wife a WiiFit then

nuff said

[Ken 16]

Viral marketing?

by the lads at Nintendo

Paris: wondering if she needs a Wii

[Paris Hilton]

wondering if I need a Wii

wow! someone who hasn't seen one night.

[Graham Bartlett]

Nice

Like the old joke about the woman who goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I have this embarrassing condition - every time I sneeze I have an orgasm."

"Hmm," says the white-coat. "Are you currently taking anything for this?"

"Yes - pepper!"

[Anonymous Coward]

Title

Why would the doctor ask her if she's taking anything for this. Wouldn't he be able to see from her medical records that she isn't?

He would obviously realise that you cannot get anything over the counter to stop this affliction.

[Rob 50]

this makes no sense

So she's exceedingly sensitive down below .. so that things happen given the slightest provacation... presumably this becoming hugely disruptive and annoying to her life in itself.

Yet she craves 10 "sessions" a day.. umm. . what for?

[Anonymous Coward]

And you could ..

Get it laminated. No more rubbers or gels required to protect the bit getting worn out.

[Shamalam]

PIcture

There's a picture on one of the tabloids. All those people saying they're "Ready and waiting" had better get their head/sick bags ready!

[Anonymous Coward]

so that's score one for

sweeping generalisations, then.

the gratuitous offence? there's no charge

[TheRobster]

@UncleRant

Seriously, do you realise how much of a cry-baby you sound?

"Boo hoo, Ms Bee made a funny comment at my expense, waa waa waa"

For god's sake, suck it up, get a sense of humour, grow up and move on rather than whining like a little bitch.

[Anonymous Coward]

sorry I confused you

Robster, I was attempting to be drole by linking two posts together. As for the "gratuitous offence", I was refering to the offence I was causing. I think my initial response to Ms Bee's comment shows I have a sense of humour through the use of self-deprecation or perhaps you didn't bother to read it? So maybe it's you who needs to grow up or at least learn to understand complicated sentences. You might find a dictionary will help too, you half-witted little bitch.

[Sarah Bee]

Re: sorry I confused you

Keep that up, 'UncleRant', and I will zap you.

[Sam 8]

So

Still on your power trip, Sarah?

[Sarah Bee]

Re: So

Always.

[ElReg!comments!Pierre]

That supposed to be a deterrent?

Cause it sure sounds kinky.

[leona 2]

what tripe.

Oh dear, is this the level of 'The Reg' authors integrity? Getting stories from the Daily Star, I thought The Reg was the place to come for genuine IT related stories and reviews, but what do I find today, this Tripe, and what a load of twoddle it is. I hope this 'Lester' doesn't consider himself as serious author putting out articles like this, no sorry, not the sort of thing I expect to find here, keep stories printed in the Daily Star/Sun whatever, there, they have no need to be repeated here.

[Anonymous Coward]

you're new here

right?

[nicolas]

grey matter

actually this was part of a Grey's Anatomy show,

so it's gotta be true !

[cs94njw]

Well, in the interests of help in the community...

OK - I'm willing to take the first shift, who's next?

[Dodgy Geezer]

I'll bet

that the marketing team that thought up this story are now looking at huge bonuses...

[b166er]

Leona 2

I see you're new here, so I'll offer a few tips.

Anything in 'Bootnotes' is fair game.

Anything written by Lewis or Lester will likely be male chauvinistic in nature with liberal helpings of double entendres. I hasten to add that this is mostly tongue-in-cheek.

If you're likely to be offended by this, I would stay away from articles by either in Bootnotes!

Maybe NSFW shold be redefined as Not Suitable For Women (JOKE, OKAY)

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe...

leona has never had a tongue in cheek?

Fail? For me making a stupid comment like this.

[HFoster]

I wonder

I wonder how she had the board set up? I bet the silly sausage had it set up on a slippery or low-friction surface.

Interesting point above about the difference in reaction between your typical American and typical Brit.

[Bill Gould]

A title goes here

Pics or it'll never happen.

[Alexander Vollmer]

Holy Sanction?

Will this incident result in an edict by the Holy Seat? Banning the Wii Fit from use by catholics? Or is it still suitable for priests able to control it?

[Fred Mbogo]

Food processor?

Can we start a charity hear to donate gear for the demanding dame? We need one of each: food processor, washing machine, dremel, hammer drill, PS 2 controller, 12v battery with alligator clips, ultrasonic cleaner, paint shaker, 12 speed blender, fish tank pump, krytron switches, rubirosa, a dead parrot, SPAM, a vial with Chilean soil, a peeled mango, a cattleprod and the Claude Villee Biology Primer for Highschool students.

Mine's not the one with a 1 TB volume innocently labeled System 64.

[Youngdog]

Single dinner lady (Harpurhey) seeks..

This isn't a news story - it's a begging letter. And Ok Sarah I won't win any Brad Pitt lookalike compos but I've never fallen for the sexist myth that women have a vastly different attitude to nookie than men. I've just never resorted to advertising in the Daily Star after going without for a few weeks....

Welcome - as all offers would be

[Magnus_Pym]

nymphomania?

is a mental illness which is sometimes has an aspect of a heightened desire for physical sex to offset feelings of low self worth. You don't want to wish this on your girlfriend; You nip down the shops for five minutes and you return find her naked in the street running after the milkman and don't try to go to work, whatever you do. She then spends a prolonged period in a mental hospital.

Nowadays (i.e. since the invention of psycho-analysis) they talk about hypersexuality; Increased desire for sex for a variety of reasons. But hey, schizophrenia is not multiple personality disorder, why let facts get in the way of a good story.

[Ben Rosenthal]

being told off by Ms Bee

would have me stiff as a board tbh

/shame

[Anonymous Coward]

118.... WOTS HER NUMBER!!!!!

<title> says it all

now where's me Viagra

single & desperate of norwich

[Anonymous Coward]

pic

http://www.jvn.com/jeux/articles/la-wii-fit-nympho-a-visage-decouvert.html

[Youngdog]

Oui oui?

non, non et trois fois non

[Rainer]

pics of her

http://www.jvn.com/jeux/articles/la-wii-fit-nympho-a-visage-decouvert.html

[Anonymous Coward]

piccies

Love the comemnts.

"Which is the bigger lie. The fall, or her being 24"

[Anonymous Coward]

Randy Mandy?

I'm sure I've seen her in a film somewhere...

[Andus McCoatover]

NOT Interested.

I've become more choosy, as I await my free bus-pass to arrive.

I've decided that the essential qualifications for any woman who wants a 'nice piece of pork' from me must have no GCSE's, loads of cheap bling, fake Burberry coat (aren't fakes and the real thing both made in China??) and absolutely essentially, an ASBO for, er, nocturnally 'bothering' the neighbours.

Oh, Manchester's out. Mutht be an Ethex lath.

But, at my age, I can't be fuc*king arsed. (er, oops...)

[Anonymous Coward]

Someone want to buy a Wii fit?

<sad music>

My wife and I have had one since it first came out and I can assure you that THIS (very sadly) is a 1 in a billion occurance! And while it has helped us both lose quite a bit of weight and she looks even more beautiful than the very day I met her 15 years ago, her labido hasn't increased one iota.

</sad music>

[HFoster]

It's not a WiiFit

... but here's the World's Smallest Violin.

[scottboy]

Re: Someone want to buy a Wii fit?

You're obviously using the wrong exercise technique. To increase the size of your wife's labido you're probably going to have to do something that involves small weights and patience, or possibly some kind of vacuum appliance. I'd Google it for you, but have Safesearch turned on.

[Andus McCoatover]

That'll teach me to read the whole post..

I thought you and your missus had only "had one" in the three years since "it" came out.....

Oh, Gawd, re-read it after a pint or three. (I've bought you one - see icon)

Sorry, couldn't resist.

[John A Blackley]

Lack of information

Notice these articles never specify which nerve it is or how to damage it on purpose?

[Anonymous Coward]

Imagination

..Sometimes its better than looking at the pictures posted.

[SoltanGris]

Free Wii's for all Ms Bee's.

I can afford to buy a few hunderd of those there Wii thingies to hand out .

Maybe this could be a repeatable 'accident'.

I want to see a episode of BullShit with Penn n Teller doing a re-enactment of the

series of events that led up to this wondrous development.

[Anonymous Coward]

RE: The piccies

Assuming that is her, I would say although she is not model standard she is not exactly grotesque either.

Guys complaining about not enough sex: perhaps if you did one or more of the following you might get it more often:

-actually being nice to your partner

-helping around the house once in a while

-losing some weight and getting your hair cut

-getting a woman in the first place

-not being such a dick

-showering occasionally (change your clothes regularly too)

The one consistent factor in *you* not getting sex is, well, you.

[ElReg!comments!Pierre]

Doing it wrong

«getting your hair cut»

If long hair hinders your horizontal tango abilities, you're doing it wrong.

[Anonymous Coward]

nympho?

nympho? If they're that sensitive, isn't it just like premature ejac?

[The_Police!]

Superstud?

There is an app for that!