back to article BOFH: The PFY Chronicles Part The Third

It's a wonderful day today - nothing could spoil my mood, with the prospect of a long Easter weekend with nothing more to do but eat junk food and catch up with hours of TV watching. My good mood swells even further when I stumble upon a wadge of banknotes taped to the underside of a drawer in my former supervisor's desk. …


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  1. Manas Straw

    Welcome Back,


  2. Peter Simpson 1
    Thumb Up

    Too good to be true

    He should have suspected something...

    Well done, Simon!

  3. Prodigal Rebel

    What a great Easter Pressie :)

    Yes yes that treacherous PFY steeped in that one... will this be the ultimate revenge of the Boss and the Beancounters or will it herald the return of Simon?

  4. MartinBZM
    Dead Vulture

    Grumbles from the Grave - Part II ...

    ... is a better sequel then that of the Godfather. <cue violins>

    Another good one Simon. Cheers!

    Can't wait to see how this pot develops.

  5. Hrishikesh
    Thumb Up


    Just in time for Easter Monday.

  6. Josco
    Thumb Up

    Cracking Stuff

    Always look forward to BOFH. They rarely disappoint.

  7. Richard Jukes


    Much needed. I was starting to go crazy after weeks of doing tech support for my mum. BOFH is my only release.

    Im sure a corrolation can be drawn between how many users get abused and the lack of a BOFH on a friday.

  8. craig 22
    Dead Vulture

    Beware the BOFTH bearing gifts

    He's BACK !!!!!!! Resurection indeed !!!!!

  9. Stephen Michael Kellat


    It still takes longer for episodes but it does feel like an epic drama.

    Alas, what is the color of this bucket?

  10. Il Midga di Macaroni
    Thumb Up

    The PFY should have known better

    Cash left around the place is way too obvious.

    Is the guy in the khaki actually Simon? It's not like him to be left out of a comeuppance.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The guy in Khaki

      The guy in khaki is the same person as the greenhorn beancounter who confirmed that the pfy had nicked the laptop. Most likely imo is that he really is working for some security service and there really is a foreign diplomat who looks awfully like Simon.

      1. DrunkenMessiah

        Re: Mycho

        ""Arrest that man!" he says, pointing at me, as the 'beancounter' breaks out a set of handcuffs."

        I'm not sure they're the same person, how can he both point and break out some handcuffs? I think the 'beancounter' is an undercover cop and the KiwiFoo guy is Simon. I think.

  11. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    He made me do IT, Gov. Honest. :-)

    "they're quite obviously the result of some extortion scheme that I was not a party to and for which my share of the profits had been withheld..." ..... :-) You just gotta admire that sort of constructive antipodean half logic. Without it, life would be just so dull and boring.

    Now to utilise a most unlikely new pet agent, is par for the diplomatic expert in IT Control of Slashed Slush Funded matters, and that is a very active and extremely lucrative present field, I'd wager, given current petrified and compromised market conditions/failed schemes and scams in Old World Chaos.

    The mind boggles at what's coming next, Simon. :-) Friday's are so much better after a BOFH Fix.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      amanfromMars must not be well...

      ...because I actually understood that post

      1. Gaz Jay


        I never look at the usernames of the authors who've wrote a post.... so when I'm reading though the thread of comments I usually get to one and think what the fuck is this guy going on about... then I see it's written by amanfrommars and think "Ahhh"!

        He does appear to be getting better though. At least not everything starts with a capital letter anymore!

        1. DrunkenMessiah


          He is Not. This is amanfromMars1. Different person/Thing/alien I Thinketh. amanfromMars could never Make that much Sense!

  12. D. M
    Thumb Up

    Glad to see Simon back

    Awesome, just awesome.

    *but we were warned at the beginning, remember the letter thing...*

  13. ShadowDragon8685


    He's back! Mmmmmwhaahahahahahahahahahahahaaahaaaaaah! MUAH-hahahahahahahahahaah!

    The BOFH is back and on the job!

    This more than makes up for my losing out on eight hours' wages and $20 of mileage today. What with not drinking alcohol and all, I was set up for a surly afternoon, but the Bastard is Back, so all is right with the Dark Side.

    Good to see Simon back. The PFY really should have known better than to presume that the cash was a simple 'discovery'. He should've sequestered the goods somewhere within the building and hidden a bunch of rubbish in his boot - then Simon would have looked a right tit (and a left teste, for that matter,) when he accused him of stealing money.

    This is what happens when you presume the BOFH is dead. Unless you saw the corpse, blew his brains out personally and cremated the remains, he's not dead. Did he learn nothing from his master?

    1. LaeMing

      Even if you did all that... would likely just find yourself in the dock for murdering the BOHF's beancounter twin brother while the BOFH finds himself the sole beneficiary of the inheritance.

  14. Anonymous Coward

    Time for a little payback

    And then a pint ot two....

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Alleulia! He is Risen!

    But will he forgive the PFY and those who sin against him?

    Paris, used to the concept of original sin.

  16. Trygve Henriksen

    Eh... unused bank notes?

    The PFY must be really slipping if he didn't realise that was some sort of set-up.

    Who the H! has bundles of sequentially numbered bank notes these days?

    I fully expect the next episode to show a big stack of monopoly money in the trunk of that car. Or else...

  17. Dave 32

    Too Easy

    He should have known that it was all too easy. When something is too easy, there's usually a reason for it. He obviously didn't learn all of his lessons well enough. :-(


  18. TheTallGuy


    What money or computer in the bin?? It's all waste paper look. But if I was a head beancounter I'd be worried about what's in my locker. PFY fall for this? Nah. Very funny though, thanks Simon.

  19. Will Godfrey Silver badge

    Oh very nice.

    The PFY has been getting far too arrogant and over-confident. He needed a good slap... and will now probably get quite a few :)

  20. Craig 28

    Felt a bit weak

    Felt a weak episode, though I was suspicious before about whether the BOFH plotted the thing with the sheds in its entirety beforehand (rather elaborate) but this just can't be planned in advance surely? Someone has to be screwing over the PFY and there is only one person ideal for the job. I'm curious about the plot but it isn't making me laugh as hard as I'm used to.

    And yes the bundles of cash were damned obvious. You'd think the PFY was an ameteur.

  21. Andus McCoatover

    PFY Didn't learn enuf from the BOFH.

    Failed to put the (fake) beancounter in the wheelie-bin, with the help of the OV cattle-prodder. Tape-safe, of course. Halogen full-chat. Elf 'n' safty drill. "we have 'em every Friday, squire. Takes about 3 hours lunchtime-ish, dunnit...We're pack from the bub in good thyme to turn it off."

    THEN, he'd chucked the dosh out the window, into a well-lined with shredder paper'd skip, in a nicely-pre-provided cardboard box (containing CEO's laptop, natch), using the space for the wedge where the instruction manuals should've fitted. True PFY's don't EVER RTFM. If God doesn't, why should they??

    Pop downstairs to retrieve it before the council binmen get there, and they assume it's an unseasonal easter Bonus.

    1. M Gale

      Nice idea..

      ..however I don't know how eight £2k wodges of wonga would fit even in the space formerly occupied by an instruction manual containing 25 different languages excluding English.

      Waiting for the next instalment though. Go, Simon!

  22. TheTallGuy


    If I was the BOFH i'd be worried about the cash et al appearing at a local police station with his fingerprints miraculously back on them... and the cameras showing him put the cash there. Especially if he didn't. The PFY is well trained.

    Said the talll guy who'se older than Moses....

  23. Frumious Bandersnatch

    part the third?

    Wouldn't "fit the third" have been more in keeping with that particular phraseology?

    OK, maybe there's a reason. I'd better read the thing!

    <-- see nick for explanation

  24. Rick Giles

    Gimme a break

    Looks like the PFY needs a refresher course. Never trust consecutively numbers bills and always have a better excuse/alibi/escape plan.

    He should of had the bills in a satchel and suspended from the roof with a remote controlled release.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    and I was wrong.

    Simon lives, just as the KiwiFoo postcard in the last episode hinted!

    And he's apparently pulling off a "Count of Monte Cristo". This could get interesting.

  26. TimeMaster T

    Oh Yeah...

    HE'S BACK!!!!

    The PFY just doesn't have what it takes, yet. Some time in a manual sewage plant (EWWW!) to plot revenge and then the it will really hit the fan.

    I can hear it now "When I left you I was but the apprentice. Now I am the Master", "Only a master of Effluent"

  27. Simon B


    YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! I'm a happy man again!! Not been the same since my namesake was presumed dead! :)

  28. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    Can Simon also appear... a ticking column of angry black smoke?

  29. Nic Brough 1


    Large wodges of cash - always to be regarded as a trap in my book...

  30. ben edwards

    The end?

    Looks suspiciously like the BofH is about to meet his ultimate demise.

    End of an awesome series perhaps?

  31. Jesthar
    Thumb Up

    Oooh, excellent!

    But where did installment two of the PFY Chronicles go - can't see it in the BOFH section?

    I'm starting to think Simon has more lives than a cat - or even The Doctor. Hmm, the BOFH with a time machine, *THERE'S* a scary thought!

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