back to article Google to digitize world+dog with People View

As part of its ongoing mission to "organize the world's information and make it universally accessible," Google has launched a new effort to scan every person on earth and put them on the interwebs. Dubbed Google People View, the project is underway in multiple American cities, including San Francisco, New York, Las Vegas, …

COMMENTS

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  1. Sam Spencer
    Joke

    You had me

    right up 'til "Google cares about privacy"

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Press release

    Now might be a good time to announce our StripSearch algorithm*. Working with Google's new digital human database and Health and Efficiency magazine we have developed software which can removing clothing from the digihuman moels to reveal the person underneath. Opt-out forms are available at google.com/pr1vacy/500error.html

    Paris: obviously

    *Patent pending in East Texas

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Headmaster

      Sir ...

      you're grammer and speling are apauling.

      (I blame gravitron waves from the LHC ed.)

  3. swaygeo
    Happy

    I can't wait!

    ...but no doubt west sussex won't get one for ages and ages...

    Although Perhaps Reg Is Lying

    For Our Ostentatious Laughter

  4. Dave Oakes Silver badge
    Happy

    A. P. Rilfool?

    "Google cares about privacy,"

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, funniest line I've read for ages

  5. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Filthy sods

    Seriously, anyone working in marketing and advertising: kill yourselves now, do the world a favour. We don't need you! You are a blight on your species, a waste of resources. Curl up and die.

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      If your going to quote someone...

      ... acknowledge it. Dont try and pass it off as your own. Your not that clever.

      Props to Bill Hicks - the last great prophet...

  6. Gary McCabe

    Good one...

    But you'll only give them ideas!

  7. Robert Ramsay
    Thumb Up

    Well done on the April Fool

    ...let's just hope Google aren't reading this and think what a great idea it would be...

  8. D.B.

    Goodness...

    ...quite the exclusive you've got here. I can't seem to find it anywhere else today ;)

  9. The Original Ash
    Thumb Up

    Spot on

    I for one welcome my body-scanning, perv-picturing, advertisement-supplying April 1st Overlords!

  10. Daniel 1

    I, for one, welcome our new virtual masters.

    Can we have more stories about nuclear fusion fuel prills made from our own poo, as well?

    I, for one, welcome a pril-fuels story - even if it is a load of shit.

  11. Scott Green
    Joke

    Reaally

    That is all (have noticed a few others, will be keeping track!!!!)

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Phorm2

    Apparently Phorm have countered this by patenting a system whereby children are intercepted at birth, tatooing them with a unique code that will track them through their entire life.

    And hoping nobody will notice.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Two words

    Fuck Off

    that is all...

  14. Dave Murray
    Big Brother

    Scary

    The scary thing is it almost sounds true. Until you read the bit about Google caring about user's privacy that is! ;)

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nice try

    And a little satire to boot :-)

  16. The BigYin

    No apologies for strong language

    In two words: Fuck that.

    It's all very "Ghost in the Shell" if you ask me. Quick! Best get those attack barriers in place in case of a back-hack.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    April the 1st

    Problem is, being google, this is utterly belivable.

    But then....I saw the line about valuing privacy and new it had to be a joke.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh No!

    I don't have a dog, I'm gonna miss out on this one

  19. Jacqui Smith's DVD Collection!
    Happy

    Goats Pigs Donkeys

    I thought they were too busy translating. ;)

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    These booths

    sound like euphemisms for the sort of place Fry met Bender. After all, real planning ahead can hardly avoid the realisation there are too many people. Digitised / atomised, ultimately the same thing isn't it?

  21. Orjan
    Thumb Up

    Good one

    The scary thing is that I wouldn't put it past them. Today, though, I'll file it under "Well executed April Fools"

  22. GrahamT
    Big Brother

    I'm doomed..

    One look at my image and I'll be inundated with ads for slimming, pills, hair restorer and viagra. Oh, no change there then.

    I make that seven 1st April spoofs. Ambassador, you spoil us.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Errr...

    Right, I've only read to the 2nd paragraph so far...but:

    "Google is operating multi-million-dollar kiosks where registered Google users can create a reasonable facsimile of themselves via motion capture and digital photography and upload it to the company's servers."

    Am I right in feeling worried about the social and political implications of the trend to voluntarily surrendering incredible personal details to big corporations? Booths? Regestration? Er....

    Anyhoo, back to the article.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    ROFL

    That was good. Very good...had me until the penultimate paragraph.

    Hmmm...ODS?

    *reaches for Patent App*

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Please...

    ..can I be digitised with a hard-on so I don't get sent any more Viagra ads.

    1. Sam Spencer

      @AC -

      Depends if you can fit it in the booth, I guess?

  26. Kai Lockwood
    Grenade

    READ ALL ABOUT IT!

    Google cribs Reg hacks... dooms humanity.

  27. M.

    This Line Gave it Away as a Joke - "Google cares about privacy"

    Still funny, though!

  28. M.

    Others Abound

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/04/01/lhc_fifth_dimension_incursion/ has another one.

    'Cheers!

  29. Denarius Silver badge
    Big Brother

    Too late !!

    Uh, all joking aside, isn't this sort of thing what the last Bush administration wanted, along with Bliar and Co in The Blighted ? The ultimate Biometrics. Multi-terbyte HDs make the storage demands possible. After all, the concept of citizen is dead. We are mere consumers now.

    To misquote Euripedes ?

    In targeted advertising we live and move and have our being

    Another case of reality imitating fiction. Not that many good AF this year. Good tries in El Reg though

  30. galbak

    typeing as a user, not a uber geek, in a geek job, like you lot...

    who cares about googe privacy, i just enjoy google's aproach to adverts, and screen real-estate, i can enjoy and ignore google adverts if i see them, what i truly hate, as do lots of low level users like me, is banner adverts, lets face it, google uses targeted, text, adverts. who cares? we can ignore them, its the banner. java skript, full page pop ups, we hate..... id rather have googles descrete, ignorable adverts.

    franc, not a uber-leet educated techy person.

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