Woman finds Romanian living in shed

Readers of the Daily Mail have fired up the Twat-O-Tron at the shock news that a Bromley woman found a Romanian living in her garden shed. Now, we're not sure if Romanian shed-dwellers represent a greater threat to Middle England than their Lithuanian counterparts, but shaken 22-year-old Tilly Newman is determined that that …

[Anonymous Coward]

The Daily Mail

The Daily Mail website is my first stop for humourous reading. There is nothing so amusing as Mail commentards, everybody should try it.

I remember once a friend of mine who worked in local radio told me that most of the more ridiculous calls made to radio talk shows were made by media studies students as part of their courses. I'm not sure this is true, but I suspect an awful lot of the comments posted to the Daily Mail website may originate from bored students, or possibly Charlie Brooker.

[Sarah Bee]

Re: The Daily Mail

No, there really are people like that. Hordes of them, who believe everything they say.

Also, a Venn diagram of this place and that place would show a considerable overlap.

[Anonymous Coward]

We Have Faux News

Is the DM a Murdoch rag?

[Jim 59]

The silly hordes

Ah, the general public. How inconvenient that they have opinions.

[Anonymous Coward]

@Also, a Venn diagram of this place and that place would show a considerable overlap.

Yes - part of what makes life so bizarre! I don't think I will ever get used to it.

[someblokeontheinternettoldme]

Same readership as the Mail

Well what do you expect when the quality of the journalism is much the same...

Although I would like to add that it was men in sheds that made this nation Great, maybe this is the start of a new outsourcing oppertunity.

[Anonymous Coward]

Nice to know I'm not alone

I thought it was just me who headed to the Daily Mail when in need of a good laugh

[DrXym]

The saddest part

It's bad enough that there are people like that, but even worse is the Daily Mail moderates the comments in their favour. First off you have to agree with the story, and you get extra consideration if your comments are irrational, jingoistic and possibly make no sense at all.

The Telegraph's website is another good place to find nutters. Visit any global warming or Obama opinion piece and behold the sheer stupidity on display. For example every Obama story is 100% guaranteed to attract slobbering birther idiots to laugh at.

[asdf]

sounds like

CNN and Faux News here in the States depending on if your a lefty or righty. Strangely enough though CNN is much worse about moderating opinions that may accidentally stray into the mainstream moderate part of the spectrum (couldn't be due to elitist liberals silencing dissent). I guess Fox with raging Teabaggers has less concern with this. The key is always keep the people divided fighting each other so they don't notice you and your buddies looting them blind regardless of your supposed political stances.

[Seanmon]

Unbelievable!

A 22 year old with a SHED? No way...

[Marky W]

I know...

...I think I'm in love!!

After I wrote that I thought I'd better check to see what she looks like, just in case she usually spent her time chained up in said shed to avoid scaring the neighbours. Thankfully she looks pretty spiffing.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I think I'm in love

Until she's got two sheds she's not worth bothering with.

[Anonymous Coward]

Surely

Just thinking of *maybe* getting another is enough?

[some vaguely opinionated bloke]

Shirley...

She'd then need to change her name to Arthur Jackson?

[Anonymous Coward]

RE: I know...

"Thankfully she looks pretty spiffing."

Yes, she's really cute. I wonder what she looks like when she 'sheds' her clothes?

[Lionel Baden]

Awww

i want a shed ...

i feel deprived and jealous !!

[NogginTheNog]

Her name is Tilly

That tells you enough to know she probably also has someone to do her garden for her, hence why she doesn't get down to said shed often enough.

[Anonymous Coward]

Not Tilly's shed

It would indeed be impressive if she had a property with garden big enough for a shed to house someone - but it's not her house or shed.

She's a 22 yr old accountant who lives with her mum and hooray-henry brother. What a catch...

[Anonymous Coward]

Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours

"We wondered who he was. We saw him a couple of times eating in the garden when the family were out and he said hello. He looked so at home we presumed he was a friend of the family and didn't say anything."

How wonderfully middle-class. You can imagine Penelope Keith in 'The Good Life' doing this.

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, at least he recycles properly

Which is more than my neighbours do.

I'd also like to congratulate Miss Newman on her fine-looking shed.

[Shady]

@Well, at least he recycles properly

That was his downfall - if he'd deliberately messed up the recycling bins, the homeowner would have had to pay a £100,000 fine and been sentanced to ten years in prison, in which time he could've squatted and eventually, through "squatters rights" legally claimed ownership of the house, and then bought his 17 brothers, 13 sisters, 28 kids and his 5 parents to live there.

Sorry, just been on the DM website

Paris weeps at the sorry state of UK immigration (haven't used here for a while)

[blackworx]

Argh

My old man found a Russian dude sleeping in his allotment shed. They both just about shat themselves. Dad told him to hop it, but then had a change of heart and called him back for a cup of tea - it was a freezing November morning in Dundee.

Strange thing is, it was all sorted without any need for a story in the Daily Mail or the cranking up of any Twat-0-Tron.

Anybody would think the Mail is pandering to its readers' petty xenophobia in a transparent attempt to generate fake sentiment and perhaps sell more papers, tsk tsk.

[Robert E A Harvey]

no no no

"the Mail is pandering to its readers' petty xenophobia"

s/petty/olympic grade/

[Bruce Ordway]

his human rights to live in her shed

Where does this guy have to go? Seems like driving this guy off doesn't solve anything.

[Arclight]

Easy answer

Are you offering your shed or spare room to him then?

[DavCrav]

Just a thought...

"Where does this guy have to go?" Romania? Don't mean to sound like a Daily Mail reader but...

[Marvin the Martian]

Why didn't she charge him rent?

If she'd charge him rent, he could keep an eye open for intruders.

Alternatively, the local constabulary should hire and train an extra cop (and raise the council tax, explicitely mentioning the nice lady's address), to sit on a chair in front of her shed. I'm sure it will be a popular job, possibly a fair fin-de-carriere for older, slightly-rheumatic bobbies.

In both cases her privacy is a bit diminished.

[Anonymous Coward]

Send them packing!

Send him packing, that's what I say!

We don't want no Johnny foreigners mucking up our sheds!

Doesn't he have his own shed to live in?

Back in my day, we were lucky to have a shed to live in, let alone one that some foreign blighter could live in.

It's a damn shame, what is the country coming to?

Why, when I were a young Anglo Saxon, we had hordes of foriegn johnnys invading our beloved land - Vikings, Jutes, Danes - you name it!

All these horrible foriegners taking our women and sheds - it just wasn't on.

What did we fight the great wars for if not to stop these rotters sleeping in our sheds?

Next thing you know, they'll be reading our papers too - perish the thought they got hold of my beloved Daily Mail, purveyor of quality content and informed reporting!

What is the world coming to!

Is nothing sacred anymore!

I'm going to lock up my shed from now on, just in case we get invaded by these dangerous villans!

[Anonymous Coward]

You Were Lucky!

Oooh we dreamed of living in a shed etc. (in a Yorkshire accent).

[Ray0x6]

Cops first, ask questions later

Frankly, I'm surprised this hasn't happened to more garden-owning citizens. The number of people hiding in sheds these days is staggering, it really is almost zero. Unbelievable. I have found vagrants living in my shed not once, not twice, but no times at all! Of course, my first reaction upon discovering that there is nobody living in, nor complimenting me on my shed is ALWAYS to call the police, especially if the persons I haven't found are Romanian and they have been doing my recycling. You can't be too careful, these days, I say. I would really like to see some government legislation on this (although there is a fat chance of that before the General Elections!!!??)

[TeeCee]

"no times at all"?

Sounds to me like you need a better shed, they're obviously being put off by the poor quality accomodation you're offering.

I once owned a house with a crap leaky shed and nobody lived in that, so it must be true.

[Anonymous Coward]

Product Placement?

Notice how she's holding the Coke can.

Looks like she made a bit of extra dosh...

[Anonymous Coward]

Yup

Just checked the original story, and there was a second pic; also with her conspicuously holding a can of Coke.

There's no way that is accidental. The photographer gave that to her.

"Romanian Squatter! (Brought to you exclusively by the Coca-Cola Corporation)"

[Anton Ivanov]

Is she a billionaire or something?

She had enough space in her shed to have the furniture in a position fit for a person to sleep on? Actually she had enough space in her shed for a person to come in without putting out half of the shed onto the lawn first?

Victor Meldrew Mode: I can't believe it!

[Anonymous Coward]

Who cares about the shed

She looks pretty fit to me, so I'd sleep in her shed anyday

[blackworx]

Fit she may be

But do you really want to associate with the sort of person who calls up the Daily Mail at the drop of a hat? You'd probably have to prove three centuries of anglo saxon lineage before being let over the threshold.

One might reasonably assume you'd be banished to the aforementioned shed for the mere suggestion of pre-marital fish 'n' chips. Maybe that's why she needs the space out there. Or maybe this so-called Bulgarian shed-squatter is in fact only the most recent casualty.

Oh, the humanity.

[Marcus Aurelius]

Only three centuries of lineage

My family were some of the earliest shed invaders, coming over with the Normans.

[Brutus]

shurely shome mishtake...

With a name like yours, i would have expected you to have come over with the shed builders. But then, I suppose the same could be levelled at me :-)

What have the romans ever done for us, etcetera ad nausea

[Anonymous Coward]

this is a me too post

paris icon. think of it, if she had a shed!

[Steve Evans]

She should thank him...

If her shed was that easy to enter, and her powers of observation that weak, she could have been minus the lawnmower and garden furniture if he hadn't been there to guard them.

[Anonymous Coward]

The photo is amusing...

quotation to go with photo:

"She is my sister. She is number-four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan. "

[Jon Double Nice]

Can I be the first to welcome our

shed dwelling oh hang on a minute

[Anonymous Coward]

playmobil shed available

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Playmobil-allotment-garden-shed-set/dp/B0007VDNXI

... you know what to do ... you know you want to

[ian 22]

Is she?

Tilly does look quite nice. Will she appear on Page 3 soon?

[Mark 65]

WTF

Page 3 of the Daily Mail?

[Anonymous Coward]

Living in a shed?

He were lucky.

[Piezor]

she is bang tight like

maybe i could live in her shed. i'd quite happily preen her bush in exchange.

[Jamie Kitson]

The Daily Mail Song

For anyone who hasn't heard it, the Daily Mail song is well worth a listen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eBT6OSr1TI

[jonathan rowe]

HA!

In soviet romania, shed lives in you!

[Dan Breen]

Shed life

http://www.peterboroughtoday.co.uk/news/migrant_in_shed_prefers_new_life_1_368637

Been happening here for a while. Although the picture chosen here isn't so attractive.

Ah well, if the economy goes to the toilet like is expected then all that's happening is they're ahead of the curve...

[Anonymous Coward]

Please please pretty please

@Bruce Ordway

Please publish your address and details of any spare rooms, sheds, when you are on holiday, etc as me an me mates fancy a break somewhere else. You too can call the DM to have your photo taken. Mind you we want a share of the DM cash. It keeps 'arry quiet you see, and we don;t want to upset him, as he's a bit on the large side, and loves a bit of the ultra violence from time to time. who knows we might even change the locks and decide to stay. Squatters have rights too. Either way you gets some free pictures, either in the DM or A&E, and congenial company to boot (care of 'arry)

p.s. do you have a sister or daughter?

[Paul Johnston]

Magic

The picture of James indicating the shed is priceless!

Worth a pound a day, oops wrong paper

[Richard Scratcher]

Who the hell roofed that shed?

The photo seems to show that the lower layer of roofing felt overlaps the upper one. This is the wrong way round and could cause the shed to leak badly.

British "workmanship" eh? Now there's the real story here Daily Mail!

[Anonymous Coward]

Twat-O-Tron malfunction?

Never seen the DM twat-o-tron in action before. Clicked the link but the first comment was not at all mad. What I take to be normal service was in evidence below, though, so just a hiccup maybe.

Didn't go further as No Script wanted me to do something called "Allow Daily Mail." Sorry. No. Not even temporarily.

And yes - nice shed.

[Anonymous Coward]

NoScript?

"Didn't go further as No Script wanted me to do something called "Allow Daily Mail." Sorry. No. Not even temporarily."

You sir, have just perpetrated what is possibly the first "Peppermint-Infusion / Keyboard Incident" in the history of El Reg.

AC because I can't publicly admit to such a girly drink.

[Anonymous Coward]

T'aint just the Wail and the Torygraph.

No, the Guardian's comment pages attract just as many nutters, Marxists, ecomentalists, people who believe we should eat more trees (no, I'm not making it up), female supremacists, apologists for mass murder so long as it's in the name of socialism....same stories, different nutters, that's all. The Independent, of course, has hired the nutters and gives them weekly columns.

[Scott 19]

Personally

I think the Guardian is 100% worse than the mail, at least the mail commentards i can label as 'don't get out much', the Guardian's are just well see above comment.

[Seanmon]

I wonder

how many of the latest comments on that page are from you funnytards?

The last thing we need is any sort of recursive-turdspurt situation.

[Hollerith 1]

Why not just let him stay?

Save for the toilet arrangements, he doesn't seem to have been a bother. Or agree that he does a bit of gardening/house-watching. He seems to be self-sufficient, fairly intrepid and safe. Why the first impulse to put the police on him? I thought Mail readers loved traditional values, e.g. Christian values. Isn't there one with a Samaritan in it?

When is it that we see guys like this Romanian as one of us, a human?

[Anonymous Coward]

...yeah why not?

Didn't this actually happen - Tony Benn was a cabinet minister when a tramp took up lodgings in his shed. Against many cautions from the security services, he let the man stay there.

[JohnG]

Why not...

...just let him stay with you? Or does your generosity only work on behalf of others?

[Anonymous Coward]

Samaritan ? I think not !

Samaritans were -in their time- considered to be a rather unsympathetic lot, generally untrustworthy, devious and generally unpleasant. A bit like Romanian shed dwellers, actually.

The bloke that carried the other bloke to the nearest inn, tended to him, fed him and left money for him to stay at the in was henceforth known as a 'good' samaritan, i.e. different from all the other Samaritans.

Mine's the one with the funny smell,

Peter

[Anonymous Coward]

Who?

Who are the people who contact the gutter press everytime they think something that happens to them is newsworthy?

I did some work experience on the local rag once. To answer the phone was to be forced to listen to some idiot relating a thrilling story that even the most desperate local rag wouldn't print. Can you imagine what it's like at the Mail or the Sun? They must need a call centre for all the eejits.

The worst part of all this is he ire at the fact that the police did nothing to stop him coming back. For a start he wasn't strictly breaking the law by being in her shed, unless she could prove he caused any damage. So what exactly could the police do?

[Anonymous Coward]

Hmmm.....

Wonder what Mother Teresa's take on it would be?

Probably a bit different from the lass'es....

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Wonder what Mother Teresa's take on it would be?

But only if he was a catholic or converted to catholicism, otherwise he'd have been out on his ear just as quickly.

[Anonymous Coward]

Easy

The Cheeky Girls are Romanian

I wouldn't mind having them in my shed

[Bad Beaver]

wanna see my shed?

"She recounted: "He was just lying there quite happily and put two thumbs up at me when I opened the shed door and said 'Nice shed'. It was all very bizarre.""

Indeed. Did he say it with a funny voice, too?

Anyway, if the UK is a place where 22 year-olds not only have their own sheds (and nice ones at that!) but also use them so little that they don't even notice a potential immigrant infection – I think I'll hitch a ride, come over and find me some sweet shed-goodness myself, sippin' me some juice and dispose of it in the right container.

[heyrick]

Perhaps if people actually READ the EU legislation...

...yes, it is a fairly free access pass around Europe, but with strings attached so you don't go to a country with nicer weather and sponge off the state there. Like the hot topic for Spanish and French ex-pats who are finding difficulties with medical cover. Like those who took early retirement in their mid-50s. Their E-whatever has run out, they don't get the 121 for being on a pension. The UK ain't gonna pay anything, and France/Spain sure as hell aren't going to cough up anything until you have been living there legally for at least five years. Oh, and living legally means making tax declarations, not saying "I pay tax in England" while ignoring it (and saying to the UK that tax is paid in France, more often than not).

These countries are quite right to tell such people to bugger off. Likewise there is always a problem with a certain type of immigrant, but they find the place less desirable as, eventually, they get rounded up and kicked out.

That the UK hasn't adopted a similar policy is NOT a fault of the EU. It is epic-bloody-fail on the part of the UK government, and every single wanky Daily Fail reader that would throw up their arms and vote NO to EU-anything on principle. If you took your head out of your asses long enough to figure out the actual legislation (four hundred paragraphs all stating with "Whereas..."), they might realise what's on paper is not quite the same as The Big Lie they believe. But it is pointless arguing the case, for when they realise the topic is the EU, they'll switch on "self-righteous prick" mode.

.

As for the guy in the shed, I'd be rather inclined to say "there's the mower, there's the shears, keep the garden in good shape, mate", close the door, walk away. FFS, if he reckons classy is a garden shed, he's been through a lot more crap than I ever have...

[Anonymous Coward]

If ...

... one of us is a woman, can I have your lovely liberal babies?

[Anonymous Coward]

And of Course ...

... She loves the media, the soccer am babe that she is... from years ago, all publicity is what do they say?

[Anonymous Coward]

Hmmm.

She looks nice enough (although a bit xenophobic I guess for punting the Romanian) but her brother "Jaws" leaves something to be desired. Surprised the Romanian would risk being anywhere near the blighter.

The story implied the mum likely owned the shed and she just lives in the house with mum and jaws. Either that or 22yo accountants get paid really well....

Anyway, it is hard to get reliable shed dwellers these days. If you throw out all the good ones, next thing you know all that's left are the diseased and violent ones. They should count their blessings, speaking of which, whatever happened to the 6 inch tall Jesus statue? Oh, that's right, she's an overpaid corporate accountant and probably rubbished it. Bad karma that would be, get a violent <insert nationality here> mass murderer in the shed next at that rate.

[Anonymous Coward]

Why has no-one asked...

...what sort of public order offence he was out on bail for? And why the police didn't at least try to keep tabs on someone who was presumably due in court at some point?

I do sometimes think that bashing DM et al (while quite amusing at times) distracts us from asking slightly more relevant questions about the state of our country.

I used to live near Peterborough, and hearing stories from my old friends in the area about swans being killed and eaten on the Nene makes me sick.

And no I'm not a DM reader.

[Destroy All Monsters]

Gypsie music in the background

>>swans being killed and eaten on the Nene makes me sick.

That's most probably Gypsies, not Romanians. According to first-hand impressions, Romanians are generally ok. They also seem to be ready to shoot Gypsies on sight. They also loudly complain about the EU considering Gypsies a "persecuted minority" instead of a nonintegrable pest ..err.. I meant a friendly, music-loving wandervolk.

Hold on my phone's ringing. Must be some anti-racism outfit.

[Anonymous Coward]

true

I'm a romanian and reading stories like this makes want to shoot some gypsies for going everywhere, embarrassing us and then claiming they are Romanian. I think is kinda the general feeling around here when it comes to gypsies

PS: yes...the shooting thing is a figure of speech :)) I don't own a gun :(

[GrahamT]

put, not out

He was *put* on bail for a public order offence i.e. living in someone else's shed. There is nothing in the article to suggest he did anything wrong before.

Anyway, why does the thought of eating swan make you sick. It is a big edible bird like a turkey or goose. It may be illegal to kill one, but not sickening.

[simonmcqueen]

Alternate approach

My mate Sarah found she had a bloke living in her garage last year. She can't be bothered putting her car in it so it's not used. He'd moved his sleeping bag and bits and bobs in and appeared to be kipping on the floor.

She got hold of an old mattress that somebody had spare and had it put in there one day while he was out. Don't think it ever occurred to her to wonder about his nationality. To the best of my knowledge she is not now, nor has she ever been, a reader of the Daily Mail.

[lucsan]

two sheds jackson

Great article Lester, but you've overlooked the technical angle. What was this shed? A hinkson double shindled pine 8x10 or a Wickes super deal 500? did it have brass or iron hinges and what is the door action like? (does it always stick at the bottom?) Creasote or varnsh? please, please remember to include the important teck details.

Also where's the Paris Hilton angle? Is this Rumanian taller than her? fatter? hairirer? more Rumanian?

[Steen Hive]

Meh

Everyone is a threat.

Being of a certain age, I remember my gran letting the French "Onion Johnnies" stay in our shed gratis. Wonderful, mysterious characters to a child.

[Mr Ian]

Blimey

She's alright, eh!

[Anonymous Coward]

Read the daily mail article...

... look at those photos, its not an article about a shed dwelling Romanian vagabond, its a Coca Cola advertisement!

[HFoster]

Pretty...

Bet she looks like a Banshee when she chisels all the makeup off at night.

And at least her shed-squatter did his bit for the recycling.

That said, I don't know how I'd react in that situation. I'd probably be a bit scared, and then angry, and then compassionate - "WTF are you doing here??? No, really, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING LIVING IN MY SHED, YOU BASTARD! Oh... Well... Ummm... Cuppa tea?"

[Anonymous Coward]

Déjà vu

Yet another eastern european shed dweller?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/07/11/lithuanian_shed_shocker/

and the same question arises 'a shed with a toilet?'

[Chimpofdoom!]

Re: Blimey

Yup..

Maybe the Romanian didn't know the words for "nice rack"

[Graham Jordan]

mmmmmmm

I'd love to smash her backdoor in.

I mean her "back door", not her back door.

[Chris Young]

Tilly Newman

Am I the only one to have spotted that Tilly Newman is really quite cute - apart from the fact that she reads The Mail, thus rendering her out-of-bounds for me?

I'll get my coat ...

[Trevor Pott o_O]

I'm a little confused...

...he lived in a /shed/ between January and March? As in a non insulated, non-heated thin metal box? What the flying spaghetti monster is the average temperature there during these months? In Edmonton you’d be /dead/. There would be several week-long stretches at -30c and many more at -20c.

Kick him out? Heck no! Give that man a medal for outdoor survival!

Also: doesn't England have any homeless shelters? If not, why not? If you do, why don't they have enough beds?

[Alice Andretti]

Shelters vs 'independent' living

"doesn't England have any homeless shelters? If not, why not? If you do, why don't they have enough beds?"

Sounds like England has so few homeless people that stories like that are newsworthy?

Here in many parts of the States, homeless people are everywhere, crashing in just about any unused building or structure that they can find. If they're lucky and they play their cards right (and if they don't stay for too many weeks at a time), they can do so without anyone knowing or being unduly bothered by it (sanitation issues notwithstanding).

Many specifically *avoid* homeless shelters because, I've heard many times, they don't want to "pick up critters" - yes, you can get lice from cushions, bedding, etc., and it's quite common in some of the shelters. Plus in shelters they have to listen to strangers snoring probably an arm's-length away, have to breathe airborne diseases (TB is not uncommon, as well as more everyday infectious agents such as colds/flus from strangers coughing and sneezing all night long), get woke up constantly by the guy with the bladder problem who has to pee every 30 minutes, or else they *are* the guy with the bladder problem and the shelter's bathroom is too far away (shelters take a dim view of keeping a chamber pot beside your bunk). Not to mention the crazies, and the bible-thumpers (if your god is so damn great, then why are *you* still a drunk?), and people freaking out going through the DT's because it's been too long since they've had a drink, etc.

Besides, some homeless are rather stubborn and proud, and they like to find their own places to crash for the night. They view the shelters as being for the lost-cause late-stage winos that pass out in the middle of the sidewalk, who are too feeble or feeble-minded to find their own safe place to sleep. The more 'independent' homeless don't want to be associated with that.

[AndyG_IOM]

mmmmmm

She's HOT ! ! !

id love to live in her shed ;-)

hehehe